Zan was there instead of me. I guess he owed me that much.
That was the least he could do.
I was going to miss Zan so much despite everything. As
much as I complained about her cigarettes and hot car, in a
crazy, sick way, I wished I were sitting next to her.
I saw the bus coming. “Good bye Georgia, hello
Florida,” I stood up and exhaled.
I hurried to get in line. “It’s a good thing they sell bus
tickets on the spot,” I said to myself. The majority of people
had tons of duffle bags, some of them where in electric
wheelchairs. One of them got out and walked to borrow a
cigarette from someone.
The bus made a complete stop and I was the first in
line. I was so ready to get away from Georgia. I took the first
seat next to the driver. I glanced out the window and started
thinking, “I am ready to start a new life, but first I must make
it a priority to stop by a local clinic so they can test me for
HIV. Although I barely had sex with Randy due to trust issues,
I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
“I’m waiting ten more minutes, whoever is not on, will
be left behind,” the bus driver shouted. He was a heavy black
man with a toothpick in the side of his mouth. The first
thought came to mind was, “He’s definitely from Georgia, with
country written all over his face.”
I paid for my one-way ticket to Florida and bounced in
my seat. No one else got on, so we headed towards Florida, my
new home. I’ve always wanted to live by the beach. It was a long dreary ride and I could not wait to get
there. I didn’t get a chance to set up a reservation at a hotel. “I
hope they have some availability once I get there,” I said to
myself. I cleaned out my account. With the bills paid off,
thanks to Randy, $3000 should be okay.
I could only imagine what my boss and team members
were wondering at my job. I just up and quit. I could not see
myself going back there anyway. Besides, when I was in the
hospital, I did not get a flower or phone call from them. After five hours of riding, we finally arrived in South
Beach, Florida . There were palms trees everywhere. We were
sitting at the traffic light near the bus station, so I decided to
gaze out my window. The women were gorgeous and the men
looked married and ready to creep. “Hello Florida, the
sunshine state. Are you ready for me?” I said to myself as I
grip my blubber stomach. Before the driver pulled up to the
bus station, he started yelling, “Collect all of your personal
items. If you leave them, don’t call us.”
The rental car company was inside the bus station and
to my surprise Bill was there. I tried to pretend as if I did not
see him. I was wondering how in the hell he got there before
me and why he was not on the same bus as me .
“Keisha?” he said. I heard him, but I pretended that I
didn’t. I did not want him to know that I noticed him first.
“Keisha Jackson?” he said, smiling.
“Bill,” I said acting surprised. “How did you get here so
He smiled, walking towards me with one hand in his
pocket. “My Driver,” he said. “I decided to let him get me to
Florida safe. I came here to get a rental car and drive myself. I
wanted to offer you a ride, but I didn’t want to pry.” He was sexy. “Focus Keisha,” I kept reminding myself. I
giggled and fiddled my hair.
“No problem. I don’t ride with strangers,” I said, flirting.
With all the things that I went through, a little flirting wouldn’t hurt a fly.
“Nice seeing you again Keisha. My driver is here.” Damn, he was like superman, only stayed for a hot minute then vanished. “Okay. See you around!”
I walked the opposite way towards the cashier and picked the keys up for the rental car. I wanted to get to a clinic before it closed. It seemed like whenever this man came around, I forgot about my past. I felt like I was in a different world around him. I knew It was a little too soon to have feelings,
but I was vulnerable.
“Ma’am here are your keys. The car is parked in the
front,” the cashier said, startling me.
I was standing there daydreaming about possibilities
with this man. I was desperately seeking anything to keep my
mind off the demons from Georgia “Thank you, Sir.” I got into the white, 2012 fully loaded Nissan
Maximum and sped off. I opened the sunroof and let my hair
blow with the wind. With the built-in navigation system, all I
had to do was speak into it; “The nearest Clinic!” I had fortyfive minutes to get there. “1234 Biscayne Boulevard.” The
Navigation startled me. I drove over the speed limit. I could have had this test done on tomorrow, but the anxiety would
not allow me to.
After driving nearly twenty minutes, I pulled into the
clinic. It was packed. “Damn. Damn. Damn!” I yelled to no one
in particular. I dragged myself inside and stood in a long-ass
line.
“I’m glad that I’m not from here. The last thing I need
is for nosey bitches to be spreading rumors.”
“Keisha Jackson?” I heard a voice calling my name. I thought, “Damn it! I spoke too soon. Who was calling my
name? Better yet, who could possibly know me here? I knew it
was not the nurse, because I hadn’t even signed in yet.” I turned around and it was Anne, the woman who
fostered zan’s son.
“Anne, what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to pick up some results for a client and I
have an appointment with the adoption agency. I’m thinking
about taking in a new daughter.”
“That’s great! How’s Jason?”
“He’s in Georgia with a friend. The adoption agency
headquarters is located here in Florida. What are you doing
here?”
I knew she had connections with Zan, so I didn’t want
to go into details. I kept it brief. “I’m here to handle some
business.”
Before she responded, the nurse called, “Keisha
Jackson.”
“Take care Anne. Good luck with everything.” I walked up to the counter nervously. “Go through the
door on the left, take this paper work with you and fill it out.
Once the technician draws your blood, you can drop the
paperwork off with the receptionist.”
“Okay,” I said, walking towards the wrong door. “It’s
the door on the left,” she said, annoyed.
Once I got into the room I started crying. “What am I
“Miss Jackson.” My heart dropped as soon as I heard
the nurse calling my name.
“Yes?”
“Our records show that you’ve already been tested for
HIV recently at a hospital in Georgia. The results were
negative. Miss Jackson, I apologize for any inconvenience, but
we test every…”
“Thank you so much,” I said gratefully. I hugged the
nurse so tight.
“You’re welcome,” she said, smiling.
I was extremely happy. I marched out of the clinic
with my head held high. “This is the happiest
day of my life,” I
said, smiling to myself.
I was spinning around it circles enjoying my
happiness. People walked passed me staring and clapping.
They knew it had to be good news, considering I was cheering
outside a clinic. I found the nearest bench to sit on. I got down
on my knees and started praying.
“Excuse me.” The man startled me.
I glanced up and what do you know, it was Bill. “Third time is a charm!” I said. “Hi, you again,” I said,
smiling. “It seems like we can’t get away from each other.” “You took the words right out of my mouth,” he said.
“What do you say to a night out on the town? Let me take you
on a tour of Florida.”
This man took the breath out of me. I couldn’t move. “Is that a yes?” he said.
“No…I mean yes! Sure, I’ll join you,” I said, blushing.
TWELVE
One year later. Dear Diary:
06.15.2012
It’s a lovely summer day in South Beach, Florida. The
beautiful white sand crawls through my bare toes. I feel like I’m on an island in the Caribbean. The clear blue ocean reminds me of a tropical paradise. This new life and new Keisha has changed tremendously.
My therapy sessions are helping me cope with surviving a break-in that nearly killed me and an emotionally abusive relationship with someone I thought was the love of my life.
I suffered a miscarriage and was betrayed by my best friend. After Randy, I thought my love life was over. I thought there was no one else out there for me. The word on the street says he moved back to New York. Zan wrote to my old address several times. The letters were forward to me because of the change of address.
The police did not have enough evidence to charge her with attempted murder although Randy stuck to his story for a while. I never heard from Kayla Richards after that tortured ride to the bus station.
According to the Georgia news, Randy eventually dropped the charges against her. He told them he was robbed and delusional when he confessed to her shooting him.
I am in a great place right now. I’m very happy with my life. I am far from perfect; God is still working on me. I am engaged to a wonderful man, Bill. We’re expecting our first child. Life is good…
**** “Baby you ready?” he said, excited about the appointment to reveal the sex of the baby.
“Give me at minute babe. I’m writing the last paragraph in my diary. Go ahead and start up the truck,” I said, smiling.
“Okay. I want to have you on time today, Darling.” ****
Billy was everything I dreamt of and everything I could ever want in a man. He treated me like a queen and I was truly blessed. He was a diligent man who ran a successful pharmaceutical company that made drugs for cancer patients. He did not want me working, especially while I was pregnant. I was busy trying to plan our wedding in 6 months. We had a beautiful home and wonderful friends. I could not be much happier.
Signed, The New Me.
**** Beep, beep, beep,” Billy tooted the horn. “Honey, we’re going to be late.”
“I’m coming.” I waddle out the front door and into our black Range Rover.
“Baby, you’ve been spending too much time writing in that diary. How far along are you on the wedding details?”
“I promise to focus more on the wedding. Babe I’m sorry, but writing releases stress. You know my therapist recommended I write. After all my problems, it’s good for the baby during my pregnancy.”
“It’s okay. I understand. Anything that’s good for our son is all right with me,” He said, kissing the back of my hand.
“Son,” I said. “Don’t you mean daughter?”
We were extremely excited about our first-born. Billy and I enjoyed pulling each other’s leg about the sex of the baby. We were so focused on getting prepared for the arrival of the baby; we hardly had any time for the wedding plans. Without family on my side, Billy’s family took me in as family. I was so grateful for that.
“Have you figured out how many people we’re inviting?” he asked.
“I guess your entire family and our friends. I don’t have any family to invite.” I said as my eyes teared up. “I’m sorry about the tears baby. This pregnancy has me so emotional.”
“Don’t you worry about a thing. I need for you to be as stress free as possible. My family is your family. Okay?” he said, comforting me.
“Thank you baby.”
Billy always seemed to find the right words at the right time. We pulled into the parking lot of the doctor’s office and my nerves got the best of me. “Baby, I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be nervous babe. Everything will be fine. Just relax.”
His phone started ringing for the fifth time. He glanced at the screen and put the phone in his pocket. Every time he did that, I got butterflies in my stomach. I dealt with all the drama when I was with Randy and I definitely do not want to deal with the same issues with my future husband, the father of my child.
I trusted Billy with every bone in my body, but after going through the things I went through, there was a tad bit of insecurity still buried in my heart. I pretended as if I did not hear it and walked inside to the doctor’s appointment.
“Baby, I’m going to go ahead and sign in.”
“Okay. I’ll be inside in a second.”
My hearts raced and I was freaking out. My paranoia started to kick in. I hoped he just didn’t notice the phone vibrating. Otherwise why he wouldn’t he answer? Unless, it was a call he could not answer around me.
I entered the doctor’s office and signed in. Just as sat, my intuition started weighing heavily on my mind. I had mild cramps at the bottom of my stomach.
“Breath Keisha, breath and relax. It’s not what you think, stay focused for the sake of your child,” I said to myself.
I couldn’t resist. I had to peep out the window to see what was taking Bill so long to come in. I placed my index finger on the dusty blind. To my surprise, he was standing at the rear of the truck, talking on the phone.
“Who are you on the phone with Mr. Bill?” I muttered, dryly.
“Keisha Jackson,” the nurse called.
“Coming, I need to get my fiancé,” I said, opening the door quickly despite my size. “Honey, they’re calling us to go to the back.”
I startled him. He hurried and slid the phone in his pocket. He pretended as if he was looking for something in the truck. “Okay. Have you seen my phone charger babe?"
He never asked about his phone charger. We were sharing a charger for the last three weeks. “No I haven’t. Can we look for that later? The doctor’s waiting,” I said, standing in the doorway, rubbing the bottom of my belly.
He finally walked into the office, grinning. “Keisha, I’m so excited right now,” he said, kissing my forehead. “I’m the luckiest man on earth.”
“Miss Jackson, we need for you to undress from the waist down,” The nurse said, handing me a backless gown. “The doctor will be in shortly.”
“Thank you,” We said in unison, nodding our heads. I tried to be calm and not worry about his phone vibrating non-stop.
“Miss Keisha Jackson,” the doctor said, walking into the room with a huge smile on his face. “Are you ready to find out the sex of the baby?”
“Yes, Sir!” Billy answered before I had a chance to speak.
The doctor proceeded with the sonogram and Bill’s phone started vibrating again. “Honey, will you turn that off?” I asked firmly.
“It’s off. I’m sorry about that baby.”
The doctor squirted warm clear gel on my stomach and rolled the scope diagonally. “I need for the two of you to look at the black screen.”
Billy and I looked over as directed. We were hoping and praying that everything was okay. The doctor was so quiet I thought something was wrong. “Is everything okay Doctor?”
“Yes Miss Jackson. I
would like to congratulate the two of you on the future arrival of your daughter.”
“Yes! I knew it,” I screamed. I glanced up at Billy and he had tears in his eyes. “Aww baby, are you okay?”
“This is one of the happiest days of my life.”
“You can get dressed. Congratulations to both of you,” The doctor said as he walked out of the room.
Billy helped me get off the bed. I walked to the restroom to get my clothes and his phone started vibrating again.
“Who keeps calling your phone?” I could not hold out any longer, I had to ask. My curiosity was getting the best of me.
“If I told you, it would spoil the surprise,” he said, staring at the screen on his phone as if he was reading a text message.
“That’s a relief,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Are you completely dressed?”
“No. why?”
“I need to step away and get this call. It’s from work babe.”
Any other time he talked to his job in my presence. Something shady was going on. I hated to go back to my old probing ways, but it looked like I was going to have to go there, if this did not stop.
“Okay baby.”
He stepped outside the room and my heart dropped. I needed to focus on the surprise he mention.
“Stay focused Keisha. It’s not what you think.”
My intuition never failed. I was trying to stay focused and not rehash behavior from my past relationships. I stopped cursing, accusing, screaming and arguing. But if this phone didn’t stop ringing, the old bitter Keisha was going to be reborn.
“Hello,” he answered with annoyance. As if he knew who the caller was and was not happy.
“Hey you, It’s me. What took you so long to answer the damn phone? I’ve been calling you all week.”
“What do you want? I haven’t heard from you in a while, too short a while. I’m getting this number changed first thing in the morning!” he said in anger.
“Whatever! I need money. Are you still in Florida?”
“I’ve given you all that I’m gonna give. Listen to me psycho-bitch, if you call this phone again, I am going to have the police to trace the call and place a restraining order on you.”
“Bill, who’s on the phone?” I interjected. It sounded like he was upset.
“Give me a minute baby. I’m hanging up in a second,” he said leaning into the room and covering the phone.
“What the fuck is going on and who is that bitch in the background? You ain’t never called me baby! And since when your name was Bill?” she said, pissed.