then out
at Grandmother and Great-grandfather
in the fields
and tell him, no
out in the fields
I watch
09:41
Earth shake the house
our home
I look up
where are you going?
I ask passing clouds
I look down
on the row I hoed
take my shoes off
and
curl my toes deep
past the topsoil
into warmth
Great-grandfather looks at my bare feet and
says nothing
the slim rubber soles of
his jikatabi
keep him close to the ground
stable
silk braids
from old floor mats
dangle from his belt
he ties poles together
crisscrossed
two by two
to support
young bean plants
he gently directs these tender vines
to the poles
I follow behind him
but
do not ask to help
he has his own rhythm
I reach out to a straggler he missed
and
notice a shadow walking
along the edge of the park fence
a black cat wearing a red collar
sits down and watches me
* * *
later
I check my phone
still my text is “unread”
I’m worried about Yuka
Mother says, traveling takes longer now
I fold
press
release several cranes and
notice
at our dining room sliding glass door
the black cat is watching me
I open the door to shoo it away
the cat steps inside
sits and
looks up at me
do you know this cat? Mother asks
no
she tries to coax the cat outside
17:01
the house shakes
the collar bell dings
the cat sits
shifts
settles
Mother checks the collar
no tag
no name
no contact information
we have no idea who this cat is
I’ll call the vet tomorrow
Mother bikes to 7-Eleven to buy cat food and litter
buys the last bags on the shelf
makes a litter box out of a vegetable tray
a bed out of a cardboard box and
a flyer with the cat’s picture on it
I make a flyer
asking for sunflower seed donations
the cat sits in front of
17:16
me under the table
17:27
watching
and at bedtime
follows me to my room
23:10
and sits at a distance
in the dark
this cat must think I rescued it
I only opened the door
25 CRANES
DAY 9
1:49
04:53
06:18
up early for Saturday
Father stops on his way to the kitchen
says, eh-h-h-h?
when he
sees the cat
sitting beside me at the table
Mother explains
Father smiles
says, really?
I ignore the conversation
we have a cat, Father says
when he sees the litter box, bed, and bowls
Mother calls the vet
tells us he doesn’t know about
a missing black cat
says we’ll go for a checkup this afternoon
I ignore the conversation
this cat creates more work, more worry
he has come
08:32
Father takes a copy of Mother’s flyer
out to the vegetable stand
I follow with the flyer I made
the cat will not follow me outside
Father joins Great-grandfather
to dig up young leeks
to transplant them in deeper trenches
to protect them
and
to give them room
to reach deep and grow long
the starling pecks through the trenches
I take off my shoes
barefoot
I join them
the sun makes me
take off my windbreaker
we work side by side by side
08:49
Earth jolts us
08:50
but we are in Great-grandfather’s rhythm
like clockwork
we finish the job
at the garden sink
Father says nothing about my feet
he only says, this dirt never washes off completely
* * *
Father looks happy to return to the fields
after lunch
Mother asks me to walk
to the animal clinic
beside her bicycle
with the cat in the basket
(she tempted him with fish)
I do not want to go
but go
to stop by the hardware shop
afterward
at the clinic
the vet puts Mother’s flyer in the window
thanks us for fostering him
(it’s a boy)
gives us samples of food and litter
(cats can be picky)
says he hasn’t been out long, and
adds,
this cat was loved
* * *
at the hardware shop
Goto-san greets us
I scan the racks for sunflower seeds
don’t see them and
ask
Goto-san tells me, not in yet
not to worry
there’s time
next month is the time to plant here
the cat watches me come out
he almost looks sad for me
* * *
as I fold cranes
Mother tells me
she knows about cats
as a kid
she went from house to house
some had cats
she moved on but the cats stayed
cats can be good friends
she spends the afternoon making the cat feel at home
the table is off limits
but he doesn’t understand
Mother starts calling him “Shadow”
in English
he is attached to me but
is never too near
always watching me
I watch the pendant light
checking to see if it’s moving
to see if Earth’s moving
I cannot tell
it feels like we are always moving
I fold press release
Shadow watches from a distance
at dinner
I don’t need to check the light
18:56
I grab my mug and
head under the table
Shadow is still
watching me
* * *
I hear Father in their bedroom
snoring
snorting
snoozing soundly
field work is good for me, he tells us
before going to bed early
Shadow follows me to bed
watches me count cranes on my windowsill
watches me turn out the light
the supermoon
in
Shadow’s eyes
is
the last thing
I see
25 CRANES
DAY 10
in the morning
Shadow is the first thing I see
he wants to be fed
it’s my chore
along with cleaning his litter box
Mother heads out on her bike
Father and Grandmother set up the vegetable stand
I go out to the fields to join Great-grandfather
looking back at the house
I see Shadow sitting on my windowsill
10:30
crushing my cranes
* * *
a man parks his bike at the edge of the field
walks out
stands in front of a cabbage head
motions to Great-grandfather and
asks to buy it
Great-grandfather says it is not good quality
says it is last season’s
the man insists
Great-grandfather nudges it
slides his knife underneath
between it and Earth
he rolls it from hand to hand
inspects it
pulls outer leaves away
lets them fall and
hands it to the man
telling him to pay Grandmother at the vegetable stand
I follow him
the man asks Grandmother to cut it in half
to fit in his bicycle basket
the cabbage crunches open
beneath her knife
exposing
a Fibonacci swirl of leaves
folding
leaf over leaf
holding
months of air, water, sun
from this field
before the radiation scare
good to have one from here
the man says, and
buys spinach and leeks too
* * *
the sky darkens
I go inside
14:58
the house shifts with a strong
shallow
shake
Dear People of the Northeast,
I wish we had fresh vegetables to send you.
Someday I hope I have sunflower seeds for you.
from Maya
I fold
press
release
later
I overhear Mother and Father
discussing
Tokyo city water
it is unsafe for babies
radiation levels are too high for babies
leaks are still not under control
the one-stop shop already limits water purchases
what happens when everyone needs bottled water?
Dear People of the Northeast,
I keep hoping the nuclear energy company knows what to do.
from Maya
Earth has been still for hours
then
23:48
I roll off my bed and
slide under my desk
I hear Shadow’s bell
come closer
in the darkness
25 CRANES
DAY 11
00:06
04:54
05:05
Father leaves home well rested
Mother works at the table
I watch raindrops in garden puddles
they look like the phantom circles
of aftershocks
on the quake map
ding
Yuka texts
sorry took longer
hard to text from here
she’s down south
in the countryside
Yuka is lucky
she’s on stable ground and
in sunshine
inside this house
is colder than outside
Shadow is lucky
he’s wearing a fur coat
I feel lucky to hear Yuka’s okay
I don’t mind she didn’t answer my questions
* * *
Grandmother stops by on her way
to the family grave
for the spring equinox visit and
says I should not go
caution, not fear
people have been injured by
stones falling at temples and graveyards
I will go another time
to scrub the headstones
place flowers
and burn incense
I am hoping Grandmother
will be
14:08
okay
Dear People of the Northeast,
Today, Grandmother went alone to our family grave. Every day for two years, I have been missing my grandfather. Today they are saying over twenty thousand people are dead or missing because of the earthquake and tsunami!!
That means many thousands of people are sad and worried. Some dead people have no surviving family members to take care of their remains and there is not enough fuel up there for cremation. They cannot bury the dead in the proper way. Old grave sites have been washed away too. It’s so sad.
I am wishing everyone will rest in peace.
from Maya
I run to meet Grandmother at our gates
see she is okay and
throw salt on her
front and back
to make sure no ghosts followed her home
she brings back botamochi for teatime
cautions me
not to let the cat get any
it’s sticky
messy and
dangerous for pets
I tell her,
he sits on the table
but never bothers anything
after dinner I fold cranes
19:43
I grab paper
my mug
and
dart under the table
Shadow jumps down
sits in front of me
slowly blinking at me
I wonder if he is finally freaking out
but then he stops
I tell Mother,
there’s something wrong with his eyes
she observes him
that’s how cats show affection
a cup of hot tea and a sweet
welcome Father home
he sighs
sits
says, good eh?
Mother joins him
Shadow follows me to my room
22:49
we are shaken
would Shadow follow me down the ladder?
I don’t think I can rescue him
50 CRANES
DAY 12
00:27
12:31
12:38
12:41
12:56
13:12
13:15
13:44
Dear People of the Northeast!
Aftershocks are shallow and close.
And more rain today!
I wish you sunny skies. It is harder to be strong in rain.
The sun makes the days better.
from Maya
I fold press and release
a crane
Shadow swats at it
no!
I release another
Shadow swats at it
no!
and another
three cranes sit
wing to wing to wing
Shadow swats at them
a claw catches hold of one
it flies
he pounces
after it
drops onto it
slashing claws
gnashing teeth
the crane is in shreds
no!
I shout at, charge at, chase after him
he darts to the entry hall
barrels past Mother
out into the rain
Mother says, he needs a toy
she finds a string and ties it to a chopstick
but he doesn’t come back
I look up
away
from the table
Shadow sits at the door
Mother lets him in
out of the rain
I am not happy with him
but do not scold him
Mother is worried
his fur coat is sopping wet
she feels she needs to use the hair dryer
hesitates
but
insists it
needs to be done
she sits at a distance blow-drying his fur
a rattle
a rumble
a shake
16:18
we dash under the table
16:18
! ! !
two aftershocks
within seconds of each other
Shadow moves in front of me
sits closer than ever to me
calmly
17:33
I realize
18:19
he’s been watching over me
18:44
we go to bed early
to conserve solar batteries
21:04
I lie in bed
22:50
wondering if I will need the ladder