after Teacher signs me out is
Mother?
she’s watching the house
we take a back way
away from the shopping area
like Grandmother tells me to do
in emergencies
to avoid falling plaster, signs, glass
we stay in the middle of the street
no cars, no bicycles, no people
around
it’s quiet
except
for a rumble starting
moving along the street
15:28
pushing streetlights
trees
houses
garden gates
walls
electrical lines
high to low
we drop down
with
no cover
Grandmother shields me
I hold on to her
15:29
my head spins
15:30
stomach churns
15:31
is Earth still spinning?
15:33
we wait until the lines barely swing
we walk on
arm in arm
stop
15:34
drop
15:35
15:36
the wires keep moving
15:37
up
15:37
down
I cannot feel the ground beneath my feet
so
I let her guide me
knowing she is mindful of all above us
below us and
around us
she keeps our distance from garden walls
15:38
we drop
wait
walk
15:41
drop
wait
walk
15:42
drop
15:42
wait
walk
15:44
a brick crashes near us
like the wall threw it
15:48
everything feels like it’s spinning
15:49
15:52
it’s all a blur
15:54
15:54
15:55
until
we make it to the fields
15:57
we drop
Great-grandfather is sitting behind the tiller
he waves to us
he’s okay
we’re okay
we move on
near the park
15:59
tree limbs and
electrical wires flap
we wait
to head toward our gates
16:00
I feel I am floating
16:01
16:03
my feet never
16:03
touch
16:03
16:04
the
16:04
ground
until
we reach our porch
we step over something
dark, crumbled
the swallows’ nest
smashed when it crashed
from the eaves
Grandmother says, take care
hugs me and
heads next door
I drop my school indoor shoes
push out of outdoor shoes
into slippers (in case of broken glass)
run to the living-dining room
16:09
the pendant light is circling the table
everything is in place
except
Mother is under the table
typing
e-mailing
texting
Skyping
helping foreign clients
she looks up
shouts,
come!
16:10
I drop down
take cover beside her and
hold on to her
she hugs me
and
says,
glad you’re home
there’s no cell phone call service
Father hasn’t answered her texts or e-mails
but she knows
he’s okay
he always forgets to charge his battery
his building is new
earthquake proof
far from the bay
we’re not getting the worst of it
she switches on the TV
the TV is stable
anchored to the wall
at the top of the screen
a map of Japan flashes
tsunami warnings
for
all
eastern coasts
we are secure under the table
miles from the epicenter
miles from Tokyo Bay
we are safe from the ocean
newscasters are reporting updates
16:12
their floor groans
their desk rocks
16:12
their chairs tumble
16:12
they struggle to sit up
the camera cuts to a map
showing the epicenter of the quake
northeast
far from us
then cuts to footage of
water spilling over a seawall up north
news offices shaking
a fire raging at an oil refinery near Tokyo
they tell us to take care about aftershocks
and home fires
16:13
everything rattles there
16:13
our TV
the camera goes back to newscasters
they are wearing helmets!
16:14
they are shaken but try to remain calm
16:16
16:17
16:20
Earth pushes
16:25
rolls
16:28
hard
with each move
I see
hear and
feel
every board in this house
flex and
bend
braces, adhesives, and cabinet doors
keep our things
in place
but
16:30
the house
16:31
never
16:31
16:32
seems
16:33
to
16:35
stop
16:38
spinning
the landline telephone rings
Father is okay
he says
they’re checking the building
so
he’s not at his computer
his cell phone battery is dead
so
he can’t text
so
he had to stand in line to use a pay phone
he asks about everyone and
house damage
Mother says everyone
everything is okay
electricity
water pipes
gas lines
when I tell him the only thing knocked down is the swallows’ nest
he says, they will rebuild it
but this house shakes a lot like it’s going to fall
he tells me wooden houses are built to move
our house is new and
built well but
tells me to stay under the table or
to go to the fields if I’m worried
and
reminds me what we all know:
to be mindful of falling roof tiles
garden walls
electrical lines, etc.
all trains have stopped and
bus lines are unsure
rails and roads need to be inspected for damage
bec
ause Earth is moving
he will walk home
and call on the way
if he finds a pay phone
be careful,
we tell each other
Mother runs out to the fields
mindful of everything
to tell Grandmother
Father is okay
I sit at the table
Earth is not moving
or is it?
16:42
the pendant light swirls
16:43
16:44
then jerks
my phone dings from its drawer
Mother tells me to get the charger too
to keep it charged
to be ready
in case we lose electricity
Yuka texts
no cram school today
my response
describes how I feel
freaked out
dizzy
16:45
swirling is not any
16:47
better than
16:49
shakes
16:49
17:00
17:01
17:03
17:04
17:07
17:10
17:12
we are safe
17:15
17:15
17:16
17:19
under the table
17:27
17:27
17:28
17:31
17:32
17:35
17:35
17:38
17:40
17:40
no crashing
17:43
17:54
17:58
18:04
18:06
18:19
18:20
18:37
18:38
18:55
18:57
19:10
19:15
19:19
19:20
smashing or
19:35
leaking
19:36
19:45
19:46
20:00
20:03
20:07
20:10
20:13
20:16
20:20
is
20:36
20:41
20:44
20:46
THIS
20:56
21:00
21:13
21:15
21:24
21:35
21:49
really
21:56
21:59
22:00
22:03
22:14
22:15
22:16
22:34
22:47
23:00
real?
23:31
23:44
23:53
23:56
I into a heap
23:57
23:58
DAY 2
00:06
00:07
00:13
am I awake?
00:15
00:19
is the ground moving?
00:22
00:24
00:32
00:42
yes
00:53
02:05
02:08
02:17
02:23
02:30
03:11
again
03:17
03:44
and again
03:45
03:59
and again
did I sleep through some?
04:02
04:02
04:08
04:24
am I dreaming?
04:26
04:31
04:31
04:45
04:46
04:58
05:11
05:23
05:25
05:34
I want to be dreaming
06:34
06:48
under the table
I wake exhausted
Mother is beside me at work
typing
e-mailing
comforting
advising
helping
her foreign clients on
her laptop plugged into the extension cord
next to her
sits
the landline telephone and
next to me
sits
an empty noodle cup
I don’t remember eating
I remember Grandmother checking on us
bringing pickles
filling the hot-water pot
I don’t remember hearing the telephone ring or
Mother talking to Father
a shopkeeper let him use his telephone
she says
he left the office later than he wanted
and
started home later than he wanted
he’s okay
and still on his way
Earth does not move
through breakfast
I put away our cereal bowls and
sit to finish my tea
my mug wobbles
sloshes
07:36
falls over
I grab it
dart under the table
tea runs
spills
drips over the edge
I stay under the table
clutching my mug
08:59
ding
a text from Yuka
09:00
all is still shaky but okay
(some broken dishes)
at her house
Yuka can’t text much
she has to pay attention
to stay on her toes
to be ready
me too, I text
she sends
I text later
no emoji shows my feeling
09:01
I don’t
09:02
feel
09:03
like