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    Anne Sexton

    Page 44
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      All best wishes,

      Epilogue

      Anne’s death was not unexpected. All those close to her had known that one day she would choose to commit suicide. At home in Weston on Friday, October 4, 1974, she took herself quickly and quietly.

      Only the day before she had returned from a successful reading at Goucher College in Maryland, where the audience had given her an extended standing ovation. The academic year had just begun at Boston University and her students welcomed her home at the airport instead of meeting her in their weekly Thursday class. At Black Oak Road, housekeeping arrangements looked promising: a new young couple had moved into the basement apartment.

      The weather that Friday was particularly invigorating—the “black” oaks and swamp maples were turning color. Anne shared lunch with Maxine Kumin in Newton, and proofread the galley sheets for The Awful Rowing Toward God with her as they had done with her previous books. She had planned an evening out with one of the men she was currently seeing. But despite these signs of renewal and strength, she returned home to her death with no dramatics, no warning, no telephone calls.

      Of all those who unconsciously prepared for her death, perhaps Anne herself was the most thorough. By July 1974 she had finished putting her house in order, asking particular friends which of her possessions they would like as remembrances, and offering to write holographs of their favorite poems. She had selected a biographer and prepared the Boston University archive of her manuscripts and letters. After much thought, she had appointed her literary executor, and drawn up a will with specific instructions for her funeral. In the last few years she had repeatedly told family members and friends that she wanted a palindrome from the side of an Irish barn carved on her gravestone. The words RATS LIVE ON NO EVIL STAR gave her a peculiar kind of hope.

      She was acutely aware of how her death would affect others. In a letter written in April 1969 to her daughter Linda, she attempted to comfort and to hold, anticipating the day when touch would be impossible.

      Wed—2:45 P.M.

      Dear Linda,

      I am in the middle of a flight to St. Louis to give a reading. I was reading a New Yorker story that made me think of my mother and all alone in the seat I whispered to her “I know, Mother, I know.” (Found a pen!) And I thought of you—someday flying somewhere all alone and me dead perhaps and you wishing to speak to me.

      And I want to speak back. (Linda, maybe it won’t be flying, maybe it will be at your own kitchen table drinking tea some afternoon when you are 40. Anytime.)—I want to say back.

      1st I love you.

      2. You never let me down.

      3. I know. I was there once. I too, was 40 and with a dead mother who I needed still. […]

      This is my message to the 40-year-old Linda. No matter what happens you were always my bobolink, my special Linda Gray. Life is not easy. It is awfully lonely. I know that. Now you too know it—wherever you are, Linda, talking to me. But I’ve had a good life—I wrote unhappy—but I lived to the hilt. You too, Linda—Live to the HILT! To the top. I love you, 40-year-old Linda, and I love what you do, what you find, what you are!—Be your own woman. Belong to those you love. Talk to my poems, and talk to your heart—I’m in both: if you need me. I lied, Linda. I did love my mother and she loved me. She never held me but I miss her, so that I have to deny I ever loved her—or she me! Silly Anne! So there!

      XOXOXO

      Mom

      Image Gallery

      “Anne as a baby—Sister (Blanche), hand (mother’s?),” c. 1929

      Grandfather Dingley’s “Aerie,” at Squirrel Island

      “Anne—on left as child in summer at Squirrel Island,” Maine

      Anne (left) with fane, Arthur Gray Staples, and Blanche at Squirrel Island cottage

      Anne, c. 1946–1948

      With friends at Rogers Hall, c. 1945–1947

      “Anne in Chicago nightclub at 17—with boy from Princeton—”

      “Anne at 17 at ranch in Montana—,” 1945

      Posing à la Jane Russell in The Outlaw

      “Kayo (20) and Anne (19)—outside church—just before our wedding—(forgot to pack white shoes)—Kayo forgot to pack his belt—see pants—August, 1948”

      Anne and Kayo at Virginia Beach on their honeymoon

      On a fishing trip, c. 1951–1952

      Anne’s mother, Mary Gray Harvey

      Anne with her father, Ralph Churchill Harvey

      Christmas 1952, with Joan, Kayo, Wilhelmine, and George Sexton. “Sexton family at Xmas 1953 (Am pregnant—a little—with Linda)”

      From Anne’s modeling portfolio, c. 1949–1951

      Anne returning home from hospital with her firstborn, Linda Gray, July 1953

      Pregnant with Joyce Ladd, 1955

      Holding Linda and Joy, 1955

      Anne, Kayo, and Linda in backyard at Newton, 1955

      The Sexton family, c. summer 1957

      Self-portrait, oil on board, c. 1950s

      Anne at Antioch workshop, with Hollis Summers and Ruth Soter, August 1958

      “posing—1961 or 1962”

      With James Wright, Long Island, August 1960

      Skinny-dipping in backyard, Newton, summer 1962

      “the Sun worshiper—1962”

      “day before I left for Europe—only Kayo smiling—only his face could lie—”, August 21, 1963

      “home from Europe, 1963—Halloween—”

      Capri, October 1963

      Anne in her new study, Weston, spring 1966

      With Tillie Olsen, in the study at 40 Clearwater Road, c. spring 1964

      Anne with Linda on rock in front of Weston home, c. 1966

      On safari. Tanzania, East Africa, August 1966

      In her study, after breaking hip, Christmas 1966

      By the pool, c. summer 1967

      On Maxine Kumin’s horse Xantippe, Highlawn Farm, Warner, New Hampshire, summer 1965

      Reading from “Eighteen Days Without You,” Phi Beta Kappa ceremony, Sanders Theater, Harvard University, June 1968

      Houghton Mifflin publication party for Love Poems: Paul Brooks, Anne, and Howard Moss, February 13, 1969

      With Marian Seldes, at Sardi’s, New York City, for opening night party of Mercy Street, October 1969

      Honorary Doctor of Letters, Tufts University, June 1971

      Index

      Accent, 34, 63

      Adcock, Fleur, 318

      “Addict, The,” 269

      Aerie, The, 4

      Africa, 299–300, 301, 366

      Aiken, Conrad, 102

      Albert, Sam, 58, 117–119

      Alexander, Thomas, 351, 353

      Algonquin Hotel, 336, 343, 346

      “All My Pretty Ones,” 64, 94, 303

      All My Pretty Ones, 87, 132, 137, 149, 157, 163, 165, 166, 274, 303

      Alvarez, A., 273

      Alfred, William, 51, 61, 383

      American Academy of Arts and Letters, 157, 303

      American Place Theater, 345

      American Poetry Review, The, 397, 401

      Ames Lois: 280, 281, 307–308, 344–345, 348, 378; and biography of Sylvia Plath, 261–262, 272, 299–300, 305–306, 307–308, 330; letters to, 261–262, 283–285, 297–298, 299–300, 305–306, 326–328, 329–330, 332–333, 336; and Mercy Street, 336–337, 344–345, 348

      Amsterdam, Anne’s 1963 visit to, 193–198

      Anderson, Lee, 89

      Anne on Anne (a course she taught at Colgate), 376

      Antioch Review, The, 33, 78

      Antioch Summer Writers’ Conference, 33, 34, 35, 36, 45, 53, 63, 67, 72, 74, 77, 78, 82, 83, 96

      Amherst, 120

      Anne Sexton and Her Kind, 326, 332

      “Assassin, The,” 332

      Anti-Vietnam Read-In, 290, 292

      Atlantic Monthly, The, 34, 360, 361, 377

      Audience, 34, 356

      Awful Rowing Toward God, The, 390, 391, 403, 415–416, 423

      Axelrod, Rise, 420–421

      Axelrod, Steven, 420–421

      Baldwin, James, 176


      “Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator, The,” 319

      Baltimore, Maryland, as Anne’s home in 1951, 21

      “Barefoot,” 319

      “Barfly Ought to Sing, The,” 272

      Barnes, Clive, 379

      Baro, Gene, 167

      Barth, John, 349, 384, 393

      Basie, Count, 418

      “Bat, The,” 410, 415

      Beauty Counselor, 29

      Beeler, Janet, 398

      “Before This,” 331

      Bellow, Saul, 102, 257

      Belmont, Massachusetts, 335

      Benedikt, Michael, 402

      Bennett, Joe, 53, 91, 95

      Berman, Morton, 376, 393

      Betjeman, John, 91

      Bingham, Sally, 314

      “Bird, The,” 89

      Bishop, Elizabeth, 94, 146, 376

      “Black Art, The,” 86, 284, 294

      Bly, Robert, 120, 300

      Book of Folly, The, 313, 361, 363, 368, 377, 382, 384, 410

      Booth, Philip, 64, 81

      Boothbay Harbor, Maine, as Anne’s childhood summer home, 4

      Boston, Massachusetts, 70, 73, 176, 238, 261

      Boston Center for Adult Education, 29

      Boston College, 120

      Boston Globe, The, 355

      Boston Herald, The, 146

      Boston University, 38, 39, 64, 130, 273, 348, 349, 350, 354, 376, 382, 393, 396, 401

      Boxer, (U.S. Navy aircraft carrier), 21

      Boylan, Mrs. Eleanor, 173, 188, 217

      Brandeis University, 111

      Brandt, Joan, 410–411, 415–416

      Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, 72, 82, 83

      “Break, The,” 304

      “Breast, The,” 283

      “Briar Rose,” 368

      Brinnin, John Malcolm, 64, 127, 309, 349

      Brooks, Paul, 132, 150, 165, 325, 357, 359–360, 361–363, 372–373, 408

      Browne, Michael Dennis, 333

      Brown’s Hotel, 308

      Brussels, 177–190

      “Buffoon, The,” 374

      “By Nameless Flesh,” 36–37, 52, 57

      Cape Cod Community College, 351

      Cambridge, Massachusetts, 4

      Capri, Italy, Anne’s visits to in 1963 and 1967, 220, 227, 299–300

      “Cardinal, A,” 76

      Cavalier Hotel, The, 16, 17, 247

      Charles Playhouse, 237, 253, 254

      Charles River, 69

      Chase, Dr. Constance, 314, 357–359, 400

      Chatto & Windus, 384

      Cheever, John, 355

      Chelsea, Massachusetts, 3

      Christ, Anne’s thoughts on, 45, 73, 125, 158, 253, 305, 368

      Christian Science Monitor, The, 30

      Christmas, 4, 49, 78, 129, 132, 149, 173, 277

      Ciletti, James, 334–335

      “Cinderella,” 367, 368

      “Curse Against Elegies, A,” 112

      Clarke, Anne, 390; letters to, 228–230, 231–232, 232–233, 234–236, 237–239, 239–242, 242–246, 248–251, 251–252, 252–253, 254–256, 258–260, 320–321, 348–349, 363–367

      Clawson, Robert, 315–317, 326, 332, 408

      Cochituate, Massachusetts, 21

      Colgate University, 18, 21, 375–376, 382

      College of William & Mary, 290

      Columbia University, Trustees, 309

      Compass Review, The, 30, 33

      Conant, Dr. Loring, 407

      Cornell, 143

      Cosmopolitan, 359

      “Courage,” 416

      Crawshaw Chair in Literature, 375–376

      Crime and Punishment, 115

      “Cripples and Other Stories,” 5, 296, 326

      Critical Quarterly, 327

      “Crossing the Atlantic,” 156, 174

      Crow, 369

      Cummings, E. E., 152

      Daisy (heroine of Mercy Street), 250–251, 253, 337, 347

      “Dancing the Jig,” 89, 102

      Davison, Peter, 146, 148, 151

      “Day for Anne Frank, A,” 331

      Death Notebooks, The, 361, 363, 368, 390, 392, 402, 403, 406

      “December 17th,” 324

      DeCordova Museum, 327, 332

      Degener, Claire S., 252–253, 285–287, 317, 356–357, 360–361, 363, 410–411, 415–416

      Dickinson, Emily, 263

      Dickey, James, 163, 166–167, 274–275, 275–278, 282–283, 351, 353, 354, 361, 416

      Didion, Joan, 366

      Dietz, Dr. Samuel, 225, 240–241, 243, 244, 245, 249, 251, 259, 264, 294, 298, 305, 313, 314, 330, 332, 340

      Dingley, Anna Ladd, 5, 16, 22, 41, 148, 176–177, 394

      Dingley, Nelson, 3

      “Division of Parts, The,” 64, 79, 80, 81

      “Don’t,” 331

      Dorchester, Massachusetts, 178

      Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 115, 116

      Duhamel, P. Albert, 146

      “Double Image, The,” 28, 42, 43, 44, 46, 47–48, 63, 65, 72, 128, 168, 247, 248

      Duval, Betsy, 408

      Dream of Governors, A, 95

      Easter, 37

      Eggs of Things, 147, 151

      Ehrhardt, Dr. Florence, 403–404, 409

      “Eighteen Days Without You,” 324

      Eliot, T. S., 262

      “Elizabeth Gone,” 31, 47

      Elliot, George, 91

      Elliot, Mary Emma, 92

      Encounter, 111

      Enright, D. J., 413

      Epoch, 46

      Erikson, Erik, 366

      Ernst, Rita E., 173, 259

      Esquire, 356

      Europe, 114; letters from Anne while in, 156–221, 225

      “Evil,” 10

      Fairfield University, 313

      “Farmer’s Wife,” 36

      Farrell, Brother Dennis: letters to, 124–125, 129–130, 135–138, 140–141, 141–146, 148–149, 151–154, 158–162, 171, 306

      Faulkner, William, 116

      “Faustus and I,” 410

      Ferry, David, 64

      Fiddlehead, The, 30, 33

      Fifties, The, 120

      “Firebombers, The,” 327

      Fitts, Dudley, 104, 309

      Fitzgerald, Ella, 418

      “Flee on Your Donkey,” 144, 224, 295

      Florence, Italy, Anne’s visit to, in 1963, 211–214

      Florke, Otto and Trudel, 201

      Ford, Anne, 314

      Ford, Harry, 52, 61, 67

      Ford Foundation Grant, 114, 195, 237, 241, 303

      “For Eleanor Boylan Talking with God,” 145

      “For Johnny Pole on the Forgotten Beach,” 33, 34

      “For John, Who Begs Me Not to Enquire Further,” 58

      “For My Lover, Returning to His Wife,” 319

      For the Union Dead, 38, 302

      “For the Year of the Insane,” 157, 260

      “Fortress, The,” 132, 375

      45 Mercy Street, 392, 403, 416

      Foster, Lucy, 247

      Frank, Anne, 194, 297, 323

      “Freak Show, The,” 397–398

      Freedgood, Anne, 34

      Freedman, Ralph, 34

      Freeman, Arthur, 350

      Friebert, Diane, 398

      Frost, Robert, 49

      Frost, Robert, The Fellowship, 82

      Fuller, Mrs. Willard, 146–148

      “Fury of Bones, The,” 378

      “Fury of Cocks, The,” 378

      “Fury of Cooks, The,” 378

      “Fury of Overshoes, The,” 378

      “Fury of Sundays, The,” 378

      “Fury of Sunsets, The,” 378

      Gallagher, Anne, 375

      Gardner, Isabella, 64

      Galrand, School, The, 12, 13, 15

      Geffen, Felicia, 226–228

      Gide, André, 116

      Ginsberg, Allen, 308

      “Ghost, The,” 410

      Gloucester, Massachusetts, 66

      God, Anne’s thoughts on, 137, 142, 145, 153, 235, 256, 285, 343, 346, 366–369, 397, 398, 414–415

      “Godfather Death,” 359

      Goetz, Dorianne, 260
    –261, 262–263, 309

      “Gold,” 401

      Gold, Hebert, 93

      “Gold Key, The,” 350, 361

      Gotham Hotel, The, 89

      “Gothic Heads,” 374

      Goucher College; 282, 283, 423

      Grimm, Brothers, 350, 352, 362, 367, 371, 373

      Guardini, 125

      Guggenheim Fellowship, The, 88, 92, 95, 101, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 149, 336, 348, 399

      Hall, Donald, 47, 401

      Hamilton, New York, 18, 19

      Hampshire College, 402

      Handloss, Patricia, 390

      Handman, Wynn, 337

      Hankinson, Hank, 357

      “Hansel and Gretel,” 350, 359, 368

      Hardwick, Elizabeth, 135, 170, 171

      Harper’s Magazine, 34, 67, 92, 260, 360, 361

      Harris, David, 354

      Hart Agency, 21

      Harvard, Advocate, The, 131, 135

      Harvard Literary Club, 403

      Harvard University, 90, 135, 324

      Harvey, Blanche (Anne’s sister), 3, 4, 5, 13, 16

      Harvey, Jane (Anne’s sister), 4, 5, 13

      Harvey, Mary Gray Staples (Anne’s mother), 392–393; letters to, 13–15, 16–17, 19–20, 31–33; personal history of, 3, 6, 13, 16, 45, 51, 54, 58, 64, 66, 68; and poetry, 12, 29, 30, 31–33; and The Tender Heart Club, 40–41

      Harvey, Ralph Churchill (Anne’s father): death of, 81; letters to, 13, 16, 19; personal history of, 3, 5, 6, 12, 21, 31, 44, 45, 51

     


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