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    Between

    Page 9
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      eyes, and though Ligaya is too modest to say so aloud, hers are iden-

      tical. Unlike Ligaya and her mother, Uncle Andres has tufts of hair

      growing from his ears. Ligaya will think of these when she asks him

      for the money.

      As she engages Uncle Andres in small talk of home, she fingers

      the gold cross at her throat, her gift from Mister Poon. Pure gold, she

      thinks. After she put Hui to sleep on Christmas night, she retreated

      to her closet and discovered the small square of mango-coloured

      paper next to her mattress, this golden necklace inside. At the Poons’

      apartment, Ligaya wears the cross tucked deep into her maid’s smock

      where Madam Poon will never see it. Ligaya has learned that she

      enjoys keeping secrets from Madam Poon. She focuses on the small

      pendant warm against her skin as she scrubs the scrawny witch’s dirty

      clothes. “Yes, ma’am. Sorry, ma’am. Right away, ma’am.” You know

      nothing about my present, ma’am. It’s from your husband and rests flat

      against my naked skin. Ma’am.

      Ligaya thinks this secret of the pendant feels almost like love, but

      it’s not that. The pendant—its touch of something that wasn’t hers

      and now is, even if it shouldn’t be—gives Ligaya a rush of energy that

      reminds her of love. Something given for free: such acts of kindness

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      are rare in Ligaya’s Hong Kong life. But Ligaya has nearly finished

      with Hong Kong. Uncle Andres will give her the money. It’s his

      business. He owns a money-lending company in Manila. He will

      give money to anybody who asks. The ease with which he parts with

      money is matched only by the steepness of his interest rates.

      “Business is business,” he says to Ligaya through the crackling

      phone line, “and family is family. Money, that’s business. Always.”

      She pictures the nuggets of wax clinging to his ear hairs, the mis-

      cellaneous free-floating particles that have attached themselves to

      those dense bushes. Each hair contains a galaxy of life. “Yes, I know,

      Uncle. I will pay the interest. You needn’t worry.” People of her vil-

      lage say that a man with low morals has a horizontal intestine. Uncle

      Andres’ intestine is maybe only a little diagonal.

      Ligaya watches Corazon across the street with the other girls,

      bright blankets across their laps. They look demure and innocent from

      this distance, but Ligaya knows the blankets are props to hide their

      gambling cards.

      Ligaya conducts her business with Uncle Andres quickly. If she lin-

      gers, she will think of the interest building on the money she already

      borrowed to get to Hong Kong. If she lets her thoughts go there, her

      legs weaken and her intestines turn to cold water. Corazon will have

      to pick Ligaya off the pavement and drag her back to the Poons’ high

      rise. She owes Uncle Andres far more money than she’s made in her

      entire life. More money than all of her family added together has

      earned, ever. But, she tells herself for the tenth time today, she just has

      to make it to North America—there she will find opportunity. That’s

      where it is, everybody knows. Instead of thinking of money, she imag-

      ines telling Madam Poon she is soon leaving. Ligaya will spend her

      final weeks in Hong Kong sleeping late and eating whatever leftovers

      catch her fancy. Let the wild-limbed witch yell.

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      Before Ligaya ends the call, Uncle Andres tells her that he has

      visited Taal for business and climbed up to her hillside village to see

      the family. “Those American do-gooders have been over with their

      help again,” he laughs, two sheets of sandpaper rubbing together at

      the bottom of his throat. “Thousands of dollars of toilets, carted across

      the ocean to a town that has no plumbing.” The sandpaper rubs again.

      Ligaya feels obliged to offer a titter from her end of the line. Those

      silly aid workers, her tinny laugh says. Uncle Andres continues. “The

      Kapitan and Konsehal declared: ‘Turn the toilets into planters! They

      will decorate the town square!’ Ingenious. A big circle of shitters filled

      with red and yellow santans right in the middle of the village: an ode

      to North American generosity.” The sandpaper has moved to the top

      of his throat, just behind his tongue, and Ligaya holds the phone away

      from her ear.

      She’s in the deep toilet planters with those flowers, dirt up to her

      neck, her face in full bloom. She knows the grating sound of Uncle

      Andres’ laugh will haunt her for a week.

      The rain falls harder and the wind blows icy sheets of it into her

      face. She presses her body firmly into the wall and puts her nose down

      the neck of her jacket. “But, you have to credit the crazy Americans

      this time: it’s the first time their aid has not done actual harm,” Uncle

      Andres concludes. “Just imagine! A whole garden full of shitters!”

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      CHAPTER SEVEN

      “We’re getting a new nanny! ” Vero hears the way she and Shane

      say it, as if they’re getting a new station wagon or a new fridge. A new

      pair of designer jeans. The sentence sends a shiver of displeasure down

      her spine. Her whole body clenches, the way it does late at night,

      moments before her babies cry, or after a crystal glass falls from the

      counter but before it smashes on the floor.

      “I know, I know,” she says to Joss. “It’s…I know.”

      Joss holds Vero in her gaze. Joss’s brow doesn’t furrow. Her eyes

      don’t squint. She chews her bottom lip and looks. Finally, she says

      simply, “It’s whatever you make it, Vero. Be good to her.”

      “But who’s my old nanny?” Eliot asks. “You said this is my new

      nanny, but then who is my old nanny?” His eyebrows squish together

      as he puzzles over this language trick.

      “Nobody, Eliot honey, this will be your first nanny. First real nanny.

      Before this, we just had babysitters. Part-time nannies.” All the fight

      has gone out of Vero. The Pantry Incident, as she and Shane call it,

      has forced Vero to admit she needs help. The degree of that need

      is, so to speak, completely out of the closet. In the evenings, after

      the boys go to bed, Vero works her way through nanny profiles. She

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      reads out details to Shane as he grunts his way through his nightly

      floor exercises and avoids looking at him while he crunches and lifts.

      She cannot bear the desperation with which he fights this partic-

      ular battle, imagining a darkly cloaked figure wielding a dangerous

      farming implement, looming above him and chortling, “Do as many

      abdominal crunches as you like, my sweaty friend, you’re still on the

      one-way highway that leads straight to my house.”

      Within a week, she and Shane narrow the nanny field: no women

      with kids back home (that they couldn’t handle); no women over thir-

      ty-five (how could a middle-
    aged woman keep up with these two

      “active” boys all day?); no women without excellent English (Vero and

      Shane want help, not a pet project). Their nanny will need as much

      of a foot up as she can get. Once Vero narrows the pile to six, she

      arranges an interview day with Bernie at the agency.

      Bernie urges Vero to narrow her selections to three. “No sense

      wasting your time with so many phone interviews. Go with your gut

      instinct. You’ll know.” Vero looks at the pictures again and narrows

      the choices once more, picking the three women who look nicest. But

      what does “nice” look like? Maybe she just picks the three prettiest.

      After dinner on the chosen Sunday, she passes the kids off to

      Shane. He stands over the kitchen sink with a beer mug full of orange

      Metamucil and water—the cure for some digestive issues, the details

      of which he hasn’t, thankfully, shared with Vero. He looks at that mug

      of solidifying liquid the way he used to look at a smouldering joint

      just before he took his first toke, the anticipation nearly as pleasurable

      as the effect. Shane Schoeman knows how to party.

      As she heads upstairs with the phone, he gives her a thumbs-up of

      encouragement and puts his mouth to the lip of the mug.

      While Vero waits for the phone call from the Hong Kong agency,

      nerves rumble her stomach, a field mouse running laps deep in her

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      gut, as if she’s the one being interviewed. Vero uses the office above

      the garage because it’s quietest. She sits on the floor in the window

      nook. She’s rarely been in the office since having kids. She forgot

      about the view—one of the features that inspired them to buy this

      house—of rolling hills thick with trees and, in the far distance, just

      a glimmer of lake. “Waterfront property,” they’d exaggerated when

      they first moved in, cuddled in this nook, sharing a bottle of Vero’s

      favourite Malbec.

      Mayumi calls first. Twenty-eight years old. She has three girls

      of her own in the Philippines and currently cares for an eighteen-

      month-old boy in Hong Kong. Shane and Vero agreed, in the end,

      to interview one woman with kids. Who were they to judge? What

      did they know of these people’s hardships? Besides, Mayumi already

      lives in Hong Kong away from her children. Wouldn’t it be better

      to allow her to live in North America where she could create a real

      future for her family? Vero looks at Mayumi’s card as she talks to her

      and imagines that the weight of her life shows in the few thin lines at

      the corners of her eyes.

      “Why do you want to come to Canada?” Vero asks, her mouth so

      close to the receiver she feels her own breath.

      “Yes, I come, ma’am!” Mayumi sounds nervous, her words too

      shaky, too emphatic. Her thick accent makes it difficult to understand

      her, even this short sentence.

      Vero feels uneasy about asking the same question again, but she and

      Shane had insisted upon this one point: they need someone with good

      English. They’re bringing the woman here because they want help. It’s

      not an act of charity. “Thank you. Yes. But, um, why, Mayumi, why is

      it that you would like to come to Canada?” Vero yells the one syllable

      into the phone: why?! She thinks of Gregory Schoeman’s loud What

      do you people eat for Christmas? Give us it all! Again, she feels that

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      sickening rush of energy up her spine and pictures a glass just before

      it smashes.

      “I come now, ma’am. I come whenever you ask. You say come, I

      come. I do everything. I be what you want. I do laundry. I do bath.

      Food. Bathroom. Kids. I do all. I come. I make you life easy! I do all!”

      The words come fast, as if Mayumi has committed them to memory

      and practiced until she simply opens the crater of her mouth and they

      gush out.

      The tentacles of Mayumi’s desperation reach for Vero through the

      phone line as she runs her fingers across the office floor’s berber carpet

      which, according to the designer magazines, is a shade of espresso—

      never merely brown. Shane recently hired someone to shampoo the

      carpet, and the soapy aroma wafts up at her. She studies Shane’s

      bookshelves: manuals of golf tips at the bottom, bottles of scotch at

      the top, biking magazines spread out at its base, with articles such as:

      The Highs and Lows of the Home Mechanic

      Don’t Be a Hard Ass: Finding the Best Brands of Bike Shorts

      Descend with Confidence: Learning How to Go Down

      Days of Suffering: Training Tips from the Pros

      Vero’s eyes water. She doesn’t know why.

      Vero does not know this woman, she tells herself, taking a deep

      breath. She does not owe this woman anything. But because she

      wants to be kind, wants to help, because she is generous, Vero gives

      her one more chance. She looks out of the window, framing her next

      question. Spring has arrived early this year, and the trees are already

      turning green. But she’s been in Sprucedale too long to be fooled into

      optimism. It will snow again.

      “Is there any particular reason you’ve chosen Canada, Mayumi?”

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      “I do whatever you want, ma’am. Anything.”

      Vero doesn’t ask any of the agency questions, though Mayumi has

      likely memorized answers to many of them. She doesn’t ask what

      Mayumi will do if Jamal refuses to eat his broccoli. She doesn’t ask

      how Mayumi will respond when Eliot kicks his little brother. Vero

      knows she must be firm on this one point, about the English.

      “Thank you, Mayumi. It’s been nice talking to you. Goodbye.”

      The poor overseas connection makes it impossible to know for sure,

      but Vero thinks Mayumi’s voice breaks when she repeats Vero’s final

      word: goodbye.

      Vero rifles through her small deck of nanny cards fighting off tears

      for this woman who apparently doesn’t understand the simple ques-

      tion “Why?” yet wants to come to North America to make a better

      life for her children. I know why she wants to come, thinks Vero. Why

      did I keep asking when I already know? Suddenly, she’s angry. Angry at

      Shane, at Bernie, at the Schoemans, at Mayumi.

      She pulls Iska’s card from the deck and places it on top of the small

      pile. Iska, the card says, is twenty-four years old with no kids and cur-

      rently cares for two school-aged girls in Hong Kong. The card claims

      she has six years’ experience. Iska looks younger than twenty-four in

      her picture; two long braids hanging to her shoulders, yellow bows

      tied at the bottom of both. When the phone rings, Vero already feels

      less optimistic; her hello is wary. Mayumi’s desperation has blown a

      cavernous hole in the stage-set of this whole nanny operation. Vero

      can see the wires.

      “Hello, ma’am. My name is Iska. I apply for your position. In

      Canada.”

      “Thank you, Iska. Thank you for calling. And why is it that you


      would like to come to Canada?” The field mouse increases the pace of

      its laps in Vero’s stomach as she asks her question, again.

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      “I love to come there and help your family. I see pictures on the

      Internet. Very beautiful country. I hope to make home for me and,

      one day, for my family.” Iska’s accent is heavy, but not like Mayumi’s.

      Vero has no trouble understanding Iska.

      “You’re working with girls now, I see.” Bernie told Vero to always

      ask questions. Otherwise, the Filipina women won’t know they’re

      expected to respond. This sentence escapes Vero’s mouth before she

      realizes it isn’t a question. She tries again, “Do you especially like

      working with girls?”

      “I love girls. I love to do their hair. I make braids and bows! So

      pretty! Girls always so cute.” Iska giggles. Vero sees that she has set

      Iska up, posed a trick question. There’s an awkward pause during

      which Iska remembers that Vero has only boys. “I sing them songs

      too. I love all children.” She giggles again. “I do nice things with boys

      and girls.”

      “So,” Vero reads from the question sheet provided by the agency.

      “Let’s imagine you’ve taken my boys to a program at the library. Jamal

      wants to stay upstairs at the books, but Eliot wants to go downstairs

      and do crafts. What do you do?” Vero nearly adds that they’re both

      screaming, Eliot’s pounding his fists into his thighs and turning

      purple, and Jamal’s biting her in the arm. But she decides to save that

      information for another time.

      “I talk to them both. I use reason, ma’am. I be calm. I convince

      them it better to go downstairs now, ma’am, and then after, we look at

      the books.” Vero imagines this girl in braids using reason with Jamal

      while his teeth dig deeply into her wrist.

      The agency website admits to the challenge posed by gauging a

      stranger’s compatibility and competency based on one overseas phone

      call, but also assures potential clients that asking the right questions

      (the ones provided by the agency) will result in “the good personality

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      and philosophical match that are imperative to selecting the best

      nanny for your family.” Vero hopes Iska isn’t being as selective with

     


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