he didn’t think so.
16
w
17
“My head feels like it’s about to explode,” said Kate, after she and 18
Andrea had placed their orders. “I need to pick up some Tylenol.”
19
They were sitting in a booth at Fine & Schapiro, just a few 20
blocks down from the church. Fine & Schapiro was one of the few 21
old-style delis to survive the rampant commercialization of the 22
Upper West Side. A welcoming beacon amid the Gaps, Starbucks, 23
and other chain stores that had turned this once-quirky neighbor-24
hood into a makeshift mall.
25
“I’m glad that’s over,” Andrea said, spreading cream cheese on an 26
onion bagel. A chastened expression quickly followed. “Did that 27
sound harsh? It’s just been such a strain on everyone since . . . since 28
it happened. Maybe now we can at least move on.”
29
Kate raised a spoonful of broth to her lips. “Don’t count on it,”
30
she said. “It’s not like they even know who did it yet. There’s still 31
an investigation going on.”
32
Andrea glumly studied her snack. “Three weeks until Brent and 33
I leave on vacation, and I can’t wait, ” she said. “The way things are ort 34
going here, I may never come back.”
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“From the looks of that white water, you’ll be lucky to get back,”
1
said Kate, recalling the roiling Chilean rapids in the travel poster 2
on Andrea’s office wall.
3
Andrea grinned. “Coward.”
4
After a few more spoonfuls of soup, Kate began to revive. She 5
looked across the table at Andrea. “Do you think it’s strange that 6
the women at Samson are so attractive?”
7
“Excuse me?” Andrea had no idea what she meant.
8
“I was just thinking that we’re all definitely . . . above average in 9
the looks department. I mean, why is that? Isn’t there a single top 10
female law grad who’s ugly or fat?”
11
Andrea shrugged. “I never really thought about it. And I’m not 12
even sure it’s true. What about Kara Ouelette and . . . well, I’d 13
have to think about it, but I’m sure there are others.”
14
Kara Ouelette was a pallid, overweight sixth-year associate who 15
seemed forever stuck in the library with the first-years.
16
“Okay, that makes one,” said Kate. “But think about it. As a 17
group, the women really are much better looking than the men.
18
Objectively speaking. You’d have to agree with that.”
19
Andrea smirked. “What about Justin?”
20
“The exception that proves the rule.”
21
“I don’t know, Kate. I guess you could be right. But so what? No 22
one ever said the world was fair.”
23
“No, but —” But what? At least its unfairness should be gender 24
neutral? Kate was having trouble sorting through her thoughts.
25
“You know, something sort of weird happened yesterday. I was get-26
ting a haircut, and —”
27
“It looks great, by the way,” Andrea interjected.
28
“Thanks. Anyway, I was talking to Hercules, and —”
29
“Talking to Hercules?” Andrea raised her eyebrows. “Isn’t that 30
strictly forbidden?”
31
“We talked after he cut my hair. Anyway, while we were talking, 32
Hercules told me that he used to be a paralegal at Samson & 33
Mills.”
34 sh
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“Really?” Andrea looked amused. “I’m glad that was before my 2
time. Can you imagine persuading Hercules that he needed to 3
hurry up with the copying? I can’t quite see it.”
4
“But wait, it gets stranger. Hercules said that it was Madeleine 5
who got him started cutting hair. He began by cutting her hair, and 6
7
Andrea’s eyes opened wide. “I never would have guessed,” she 8
said.
9
Kate toyed with her soupspoon, trying to decide where to go 10
from here. She didn’t want to seem paranoid. Still, someone had 11
murdered Madeleine. She decided to press ahead.
12
“The thing is, Madeleine stopped going to Hercules a while 13
back,” Kate continued. “He didn’t tell me why. ActualIy, the 14
whole time we were talking about Madeleine, he seemed sort of 15
uncomfortable. And then, I noticed this one really disturbing 16
piece of his. A Barbie doll with a bunch of knitting needles stuck 17
through her body. So I’m looking at this creepy doll, and all of a 18
sudden I’m thinking how much she looks like Madeleine.”
19
“Kate.” Andrea looked at her severely. “You’re not saying that 20
you suspect Hercules of killing Madeleine?”
21
“Not suspect, exactly.” Kate was determined to hold her ground.
22
“And what’s the motive? Hair stylist desertion? If that were 23
enough to push someone over the brink, this city would be a 24
bloodbath.”
25
“Just because I don’t know the motive doesn’t mean there 26
couldn’t be one,” Kate said. “I just think that I should talk to the 27
investigators. And then there was that meeting I had with 28
Madeleine. Right before she died. When she told me that I should 29
be careful.”
30
Andrea met Kate’s eyes. “Listen, if it would make you feel better 31
to talk to the cops about Hercules, go ahead. But I really don’t 32
think you should mention the meeting. That thing about being 33
careful. It’ll just make you seem neurotic.”
ort 34
“But you don’t know how she sounded.” Kate could hear the de-reg 35
fensiveness in her voice.
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“Fine. I believe you. But think about how you sound. And what 1
would you really accomplish? What she said to you, it’s just too lit-2
tle to go on.”
3
Kate looked down at her plate. “I don’t know,” she said. “I guess 4
I’ll sleep on it.”
5
“Just remember, Kate, we’re junior associates, peons. We really 6
have to watch our step.”
7
w
8
Later in the day, Kate lay curled up in bed, sipping hot tea and 9
reading Sense and Sensibility. “Elinor saw, with concern, the excess 10
of her sister’s sensibility; but by Mrs. Dashwood it was valued and 11
cherished.
. . . ” Only a little after five, but outside it was already 12
dark. A gust of wind made the window shudder. Reaching for the 13
wall unit next to her bed, Kate turned up the heat.
14
After saying good-bye to Andrea, Kate had returned home to 15
messages from Douglas and Tara. At the sound of Douglas’s voice, 16
she’d felt herself growing tense. I really enjoyed meeting you Friday.
17
Call me when you have a chance.
18
Now, tucked inside a warm bed, she just wanted to be alone.
19
Madeleine’s funeral seemed to have taken place days ago, rather 20
than that same afternoon. Kate thought about Madeleine’s par-21
ents, wondered what they were doing now. Were they consumed 22
with rage at their daughter’s killer? Or still numb and disbelieving?
23
As a child, Kate had found herself pondering questions of time 24
and space. How could time go on forever? Didn’t everything have 25
an end? But how could time not go on forever? The same thing 26
with space. How could it not be endless? But then, how could it 27
possibly be? She’d been a wakeful child, lying wide-eyed for long 28
hours after being kissed good night. There, in her small, dark room, 29
she’d examine these puzzles again and again, awash in a dizzy con-30
fusion.
31
How could it be?
32
And how could it not be?
33
It was the same thing with Madeleine’s murder. Someone was 34 sh
responsible for Madeleine’s death. Some living, breathing person 35 re
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1
had taken up tools and done unspeakable things to her body. It 2
seemed impossible that this person existed at all. At the same time, 3
Kate found herself suspecting everyone. It was part of the paradox: 4
if no one could have committed the crime, then anyone could 5
have done it.
6
Again, Kate’s thoughts returned to Hercules. Maybe she should 7
call Valencia after all. Even Andrea had seemed to think that 8
would be okay. Pushing back the covers, Kate climbed down from 9
her bed and went into the living room. She found Valencia’s card 10
in her purse, stuffed in a billfold compartment. Kate stared at it a 11
minute and then picked up the phone. She was still thinking what 12
to say when Valencia’s voice mail engaged.
13
“This is Kate Paine,” she began hesitantly. “I’m an associate at 14
Samson & Mills. We spoke on Thursday. There was just . . . some-15
thing I wanted to mention to you. I’ll be in the office tomorrow.
16
So . . . thanks.”
17
Hanging up the phone, Kate felt a slight sense of relief. It was 18
good to have done something — anything — aimed at finding 19
Madeleine’s killer.
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
ort 34
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Monday, January 11
1
2
Another cold, bleak morning. A little before nine. Kate was ap-3
proaching the doors of Samson & Mills when she changed her 4
mind and turned a corner. She passed a row of dilapidated brown-5
stones, then proceeded on to the Mug, a storefront coffeehouse 6
with excellent lattés. Probably not the smartest move for someone 7
fending off a cold. But in the life of a Samson associate, efficiency 8
always trumped health.
9
The woman behind the counter was about Kate’s age, but there 10
the resemblance ended. She had multiple piercings and platinum 11
braids. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm gone punk.
12
“Here you go,” she said.
13
Holding her cup, Kate made her way to a couch by the window.
14
Her cough had gotten worse last night, and she’d downed two 15
doses of NyQuil before finally dropping off to sleep. By morning, 16
the cough had eased up, but she still felt hazy and tired, haunted by 17 sh
the remnants of dreams. Something about an airplane flight. An 18 re
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urgent meeting of sorts. She was flying to India, that was it, on her 2
way to meet Madeleine Waters. Then the plane had begun to go 3
down . . .
4
Engrossed in her thoughts, Kate didn’t notice the man who’d 5
come in behind her. He ordered a coffee and then, cup in hand, 6
headed over to where she was sitting.
7
“D’you mind if I have a seat?”
8
Kate started at the sound of his voice. “Oh! Sure.” She 9
scootched to one side of the lumpy couch to let the stranger sit 10
down.
11
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said. He was tall, with curly dark 12
hair that tumbled over his forehead. He was wearing a black 13
leather jacket and jeans. He seemed slightly familiar, though she 14
wasn’t sure why.
15
“Do I know you from somewhere?” she asked.
16
He studied her face, then shook his head. “I don’t really think 17
so,” he said. Then, with a smile, he turned away.
18
Sipping her coffee, Kate stared outside at the midtown office 19
brigade. On days she was in good spirits, rush hour could seem al-20
most festive. Today it seemed meaningless. She looked at her cof-21
fee mug, at the milky brown liquid inside. She was trying to ignore 22
the man beside her, but she couldn’t seem to blot him out. It was 23
distracting to have someone so close. It wasn’t like there weren’t a 24
bunch of free seats. Would she be rude to get up and move?
25
“Hey, which of these do you like best?” The voice seemed to ex-26
plode in her ear.
27
“Sorry, I scared you again.” His teeth were very white, his eyes a 28
smoky green. He was holding two photographs.
29
It wasn’t like she really had a choice. Kate leaned forward and 30
looked. Both of the 8 x 10 prints showed the same exotic scene. A 31
massive ancient building on a river. Kate examined the pictures for 32
a long moment, surprised at what she saw.
33
“Did you take these?”
ort 34
“Yeah.”
reg 35
“They’re good.”
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“Thanks,” he said. He really had a very nice smile.
1
Kate turned her eyes back to the prints. She’d toyed with pho-2
tography herself for a time, taken several courses
back in college.
3
Even fantasized about making it her profession. But looking at 4
work of this caliber, she knew she’d made the right decision. She 5
could never have been this good.
6
“Umm, this one, I think,” Kate said, pointing to the picture on 7
the right. She looked over at her neighbor with a new respect.
8
“Where were these taken?”
9
“In India. Varanasi. The Hindu holy city.”
10
“India.” Kate had an image of a plane, wings dipping low in the 11
sky. “Isn’t that strange. I dreamed about India last night.”
12
“Ever been there?” he asked.
13
“No,” Kate said. She felt an unaccountable wave of regret. Now 14
what was that about? “How long were you there?”
15
“Three weeks. On assignment.”
16
“Really!” Kate no longer felt tempted to leave. She noticed an 17
open box of prints. “Are those all yours?”
18
He nodded.
19
“May I look?”
20
One by one, Kate examined the prints. Most of them looked 21
like India — temples, markets, camels — but at the end came sev-22
eral seascapes.
23
“These last two, they’re different.”
24
“Those were taken closer to home. I live in Sag Harbor. On 25
Long Island.”
26
“Beautiful.” Kate looked at her watch. Almost 9:30. “I really 27
need to get to work.” Reluctantly, she handed back the photo-28
graphs.
29
“You work around here?”
30
“Yes, I’m a . . . a lawyer,” Kate said. She felt suddenly self-31
conscious, as if she should explain herself. She waited for the in-32
evitable lawyer joke, but this time it didn’t come.
33
“What kind of law?” Howell asked.
34 sh
“I work for a firm, in litigation.”
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“Which firm?”
2
“It’s called Samson & Mills.” Braced for a barrage of questions, 3
Kate was relieved when Howell let it drop. Of course, he lived out 4
on Long Island. Maybe he hadn’t heard.
5
Putting on her cape, she lingered a moment, thinking about the 6
pictures. “So do you ever show your work around here?”
7
“As a matter of fact, I have an exhibit now. In Sag Harbor. At 8
the Cavanaugh Gallery.” He casually extended his hand. “I’m 9