“This is Douglas Macauley,” the voice said. “I’m a friend of Tara 22
Wilkie’s. I think she mentioned me to you. I —”
23
Kate sat down hard on her bed. “I know who you are,” she said, 24
the words sounding more abrupt than she’d intended. After all, it 25
was hardly his fault. But she could kill Tara. Could she have made 26
her feelings on the subject any clearer last night?
27
“I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner Friday night.
28
Maybe go to a movie afterward.”
29
“Listen, I appreciate your calling, but I —” What? Don’t go out on 30
dates since my boyfriend dumped me two years ago? She felt a renewed 31
burst of annoyance at Tara for putting her in this spot.
32
“Tara told me that you’re really busy,” Douglas said. “If Friday 33
isn’t good for you, I’m pretty flexible.”
ort 34
“No, no . . . , it’s just that —” I don’t go to the movies or eat dinner?
reg 35
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E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H
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I’m coming down with Lyme disease? I can already tell from your voice 1
that you’re not my type?
2
“So Friday’s okay?” He sounded tentative, as if he didn’t quite 3
get what she was saying. Too late, Kate realized that she should 4
have said that she already had plans. The fact that she almost never 5
had plans had caused her to overlook this simple all-purpose ex-6
cuse. And if she tried to wiggle out now, it would sound fake. She 7
decided to cut her losses.
8
“I guess I could meet you for a movie,” she said. “As long as it’s 9
after seven.” A movie would be all right — three hours tops —
10
hardly any time for conversation and then she’d beg off as soon as 11
it was over — early day tomorrow, not much sleep last night. She’d 12
hardly have to talk with him at all! She congratulated herself on 13
this solution: she’d see a movie and get Tara off her back, all in one 14
easy step.
15
“Great!” He sounded genuinely pleased. Kate wondered what 16
Tara had told him. “You live on the Upper West Side, right?”
17
“Right.” A jolt of annoyance. Why had Tara told him where she 18
lived?
19
“Shall I pick you up?”
20
“Let’s just meet at the theater,” she said quickly. “Why don’t you 21
call me at the office on Friday morning, and we’ll figure out the de-22
tails.”
23
“Fine. So . . . I’ll talk to you then. I’m looking forward to it.”
24
“Right. I’ll speak to you Friday,” Kate said.
25
After hanging up the phone, she finished getting dressed. The 26
call had been disconcerting, but all in all she’d handled it well, she 27
decided. Maybe this would even convince Tara that she was on the 28
road to a normal social life.
29
Kate slid on a pair of worn shearling slippers and padded back to 30
the kitchen for coffee, her mind already racing to the legal cases 31
waiting on her desk. Before sitting down, she turned on the televi-32
sion for company. The cheery sit-com voices provided a soothing 33
illusion of companionship. In a few minutes, the news would be 34 sh
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A M Y G U T M A N
1
on. Outside it had started to rain, a dull pounding against the win-2
dows. Sipping her coffee, Kate felt cozy and safe, as if she were a 3
law student again, cramming for the big exam.
4
A stack of Westlaw cases beside her, she was absorbed in the 5
Supreme Court’s decision in Meritor Savings Bank, FSB v. Vinson 6
when a familiar name caught her ear. “Madeleine Waters, a partner 7
at the eminent law firm of Samson & Mills —” At first Kate 8
thought she’d misheard. But as she turned her chair to face the 9
twelve-inch television screen — a relic from her student days —
10
she heard the name again. Madeleine Waters. An unprepossessing 11
middle-aged man, windblown and impatient, spoke rapidly into a 12
microphone held by a slender young woman in a short red coat, 13
the two figures outlined against a desolate urban landscape. In the 14
background Kate could make out water — the Hudson River, by 15
the looks of it. The man was all business, clearly eager to have 16
done with this frivolous intruder. “The body was identified earlier 17
today,” he said curtly, his voice raised to be heard over the din of 18
traffic. “I’m not at liberty to say anything more at this time. We’re 19
keeping all our options open, and I’d rather not speculate on any 20
specific possibilities.”
21
“Thank you, Detective,” the young woman said, her voice fight-22
ing with the wind and street noise. Standing up abruptly, Kate al-23
most knocked over her coffee. She felt a sudden need to walk, to 24
move. She started across her apartment and then turned back 25
toward the television, forcing herself to listen. She tried to focus 26
on the words that continued to flow from the cherry-red lips of the 27
young reporter. “Brutal slaying . . . sure to spread shock waves 28
through New York’s legal community . . . one of the few female 29
partners at what is often described as the city’s most prominent law 30
firm.” The words seemed random, disconnected. Concentrate. In-31
stead, Kate found herself incongruously noting that the shade of 32
the reporter’s lipstick exactly matched her coat.
33
As the report wound to a close, the screen filled with a photo-ort 34
graph of Madeleine. The picture showed her smiling, triumphant reg 35
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E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H
7 5
some time back, perhaps at the time of her partnership election.
1
Her hair was straight and much shorter. She looked both older and 2
younger than Kate remembered. While her demeanor was strictly 3
professional, it also hinted at a sort of jaunty optimism entirely ab-4
sent from the woman she’d briefly known.
5
The next story flashed on the screen.
6
Kate found herself rubbing her hands together, as if she were try-7
ing to keep warm. Shock, fear, anxiety — the feelings swarmed 8
through her along with a deeper pain that she couldn’t name. She 9
had a sudden urge to speak with Justin. Justin. Just the thought of 10
him seemed to bring her emotions down a notch. She picked up 11
the phone with a trembling hand and punched in the familiar 12
number. Justin picked up right away.
13
“H’llo?” His voice was hazy with sleep.
14
“Justin, it’s me,” she b
lurted. “Madeleine Waters was murdered.
15
They just found the body. It was on TV. My God, I just can’t —”
16
Kate could hear the agitation in her voice as the words tumbled 17
out hot and fast.
18
“Whad . . . Whad’re you talking about?”
19
Struggling to stem the flow of words, Kate tried to recount the 20
facts she’d just heard. A lawyer’s recital. Everything she could re-21
call. The mental discipline soothed her, and by the time she fin-22
ished, her voice had steadied. She was very tired.
23
“Are . . . you sure?” Justin asked. He still sounded groggy, as if he 24
didn’t quite get what she was saying.
25
“Of course I’m sure, Justin,” Kate snapped. “Do you think I’d 26
make up something like this?”
27
“No, I know. I just . . . I was sleeping.” He sounded dumb-28
founded, as if the act of speech were newly discovered.
29
“Look, I’m sorry to wake you like this,” Kate said. “It’s just that 30
I’m so freaked out. And . . . and I thought you’d want to know.”
31
“Madeleine . . . I mean, I worked with her.” Justin said. Now 32
there was a subtle change in his voice, as if her words were finally 33
sinking in. “I don’t see how this . . . Listen, Kate, can you hold on 34 sh
for a second?”
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A M Y G U T M A N
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Kate heard some rustling, the snap of a light. Then Justin was 2
back on the phone, this time sounding almost alert.
3
“D’you think they could have . . . gotten it wrong or something?
4
5
She gave it a moment’s thought. “I guess it’s possible, but it 6
doesn’t seem very likely. Do you think they’d go with a story this 7
big if they weren’t sure? Besides, they had her picture.”
8
“Oh.” Kate could hear Justin’s breathing. “How . . . how was she 9
killed?”
10
“I don’t know,” Kate said. She felt deflated, as if she’d failed 11
to complete some important assignment. “I’m not sure that they 12
said. Does that seem right? That they wouldn’t say anything about 13
it?”
14
“Don’t know. Did they say if there’d been an arrest? Do they 15
know who did it?”
16
“No. I mean, not so far as I know. It didn’t sound that way. The 17
guy on the news — he was some sort of detective, I think — said 18
they were keeping their options open.” She shivered. “It sounds 19
like something you’d tell an investment adviser.”
20
There was a beep on Kate’s line. Call waiting. “Justin — I’ve got 21
another call. One second.”
22
It was Peyton Winslow.
23
“Kate. Have you heard the news?”
24
“Yes, just a few minutes ago. It’s horrible. Listen, Peyton. I’m on 25
another call. Give me a second.”
26
She returned to Justin. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got Peyton Winslow 27
on the line.”
28
“Just hang in there.” Justin’s voice was gentle. “I’ll see you to-29
morrow.”
30
As she clicked back to Peyton, Kate curled up on her couch.
31
“Kate? I just wanted to be sure you’d heard about Madeleine.” In 32
the background she could hear the muffled cadences of the televi-33
sion news mingled with strains of music. Something classical, slow ort 34
and melodious.
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7 7
“I can’t believe it.” The old cliché, but somehow it was all that 1
came to mind.
2
“I know,” Peyton said. His voice was soft, the clipped British in-3
tonations less noticeable than usual.
4
“That’s why she wasn’t at the meeting today,” Kate said. “Why 5
didn’t we realize that something might be wrong? Why didn’t we 6
do something?”
7
“There’s nothing we could have done, Kate,” Peyton’s voice re-8
mained calm. “She was already dead. It happened sometime last 9
night.”
10
Sometime last night. While she ate dinner with Tara, played chess 11
with Justin. Sometime during those hours — while she was laugh-12
ing, talking, arguing with her friends — Madeleine Waters had 13
been murdered. Justin was right: it just didn’t seem possible.
14
“How do you know?”
15
“What?”
16
“When it happened. How do you know when it happened?”
17
“It was on the TV news.”
18
“Oh. I didn’t hear that part.” From the back of the couch, Kate 19
pulled a blanket and wrapped it around her legs. On the one hand, 20
it was a relief to know that there wasn’t anything she could have 21
done. There was no reason to feel guilty. On the other, it was ap-22
palling to know how powerless they all had been. She would have 23
liked to think that, if they had known, if they had somehow 24
guessed, then Madeleine could have been saved.
25
“There’s no way we could have known,” Peyton said, as if read-26
ing her thoughts. “This isn’t the sort of thing that anyone thinks 27
will happen.”
28
29
“The next few weeks are going to be rough. It’s going to be im-30
portant to stay focused.”
31
“Focused?” Kate felt as if she must have missed something. Stay 32
focused on what?
33
Over the phone, Kate could hear Peyton take a deep breath.
34 sh
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A M Y G U T M A N
1
“Look, Kate. Until Madeleine’s killer is apprehended, her death is 2
going to be the major concern for everyone at the firm. It will be 3
up to us to keep things on track with the Thorpe case. The firm’s 4
going to be counting on us. And I’m going to be counting on you.”
5
At that moment, Kate caught on: His partnership, that’s what this 6
was about. Peyton’s instinct for self-promotion took her breath 7
away. No wonder he’d advanced so quickly. Beneath the dry wit, 8
beneath the patrician veneer, was an ambition that never wavered.
9
“Right,” Kate said, careful to keep her tone neutral. She liked 10
Peyton, she really did, but she still found his attitude chilling. Was 11
this what it took to make partner?
12
Peyton continued, oblivious to her thoughts. “Hard as this is, we 13
&n
bsp; have to think about what needs to get done. We can’t bring 14
Madeleine back. The greatest tribute we can pay to her memory is 15
to keep doing the firm’s work.”
16
Peyton paused for a moment, as if waiting for Kate to respond.
17
When she didn’t answer, he moved on. “So . . . how’s the memo?”
18
The memo? A partner had just been killed, and Peyton was ask-19
ing her about a memo? The conversation seemed more and more 20
surreal.
21
“It’s . . . it’s fine. I’ve already pulled most of the cases.”
22
Five minutes later, when Kate finally hung up the phone, she sat 23
for a moment unmoving. Through the windows, she could hear the 24
rain. It was coming down harder now. The news had moved on to 25
sports. Kate grabbed her remote from the coffee table and flipped 26
through the other channels, searching for further word. But there 27
was nothing. A few minutes later, she turned off the television.
28
Then she got up and went to the kitchen, where she dumped out 29
the dregs of her now-lukewarm coffee before rinsing out the mug.
30
All that caffeine had made her jittery. She decided to make some 31
herbal tea.
32
Standing at the stove, waiting for the water to boil, she tried 33
to imagine Madeleine’s final hours. But her mind was blank.
ort 34
Now that she’d begun to absorb the news, she realized how little reg 35
she knew. How had Madeleine died? Was she shot? Strangled?
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E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H
7 9
Stabbed? The reporter had used the term “brutal murder” — that 1
tabloid journalist’s cliché — but what did it mean? Who was re-2
sponsible? And why? Was Madeleine killed by a stranger, a vic-3
tim of random violence? Or had there been some personal 4
motive?
5
As the kettle began to whistle, Kate automatically picked it up 6
and poured the water into her mug, dropping in a mint-chamomile 7
tea bag. A sense of anxiety engulfed her, heavy and inert. She care-8
fully checked the gas. Off. Checked the front door. Locked.
9
Checked the blinds. Down. There was nothing to worry about.
10
She was safe, absolutely secure in this upscale building behind 11
layer upon layer of doormen and locks. Still, she could feel her 12
heart pounding.
13
Kate forced herself back to her chair, where she stared blankly at 14
the stack of legal opinions on her desk. It felt like hours since she’d 15