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    Falling Awake

    Page 2
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      somebody out late talking in the street

      not many of us left no shop long weeds in the hedges

      it’s as dull as a pond down here what a hiss in the throat

      having been gassed in the war that voice is are you listening

      is that somebody’s bed-ridden red face peering out

      won’t barely go out of the house now is that smoke

      are they burning the trees again say what you like

      she won’t like that not many of us left

      so many names in this place not many of us left

      living on the last we can find can you hear this

      somebody out peering out not me noticed the least likely

      the very soul of respectability

      eating something in the cemetery not rats I hope are you listening

      listen somebody’s sister the very soul of respectability

      without one word of a lie just this very morning

      being in her slippers having recently put out the trash

      had the misfortune to die over the dustbins in the snow

      Lyn Waters

      of course somebody had to shift her say what you like

      just saw him with a grim look

      put her in the car boot cold as a trout

      with a bit of green silk around the middle to protect against rheumatism

      [...]

      somebody as barely there as light as a lace curtain

      lying in the nettles with her teeth upwards

      couldn’t lift herself

      been living off nettles for a week hence the expression

      somebody on her knees again not what she was

      somebody screaming again last night being strangled or something

      good grief you get used to the sounds not many of us left

      living on the fluff of green of the last little floes of the earth

      VERTIGO

      May I shuffle forward and tell you the two-minute life of rain

      starting right now lips open and lidless-cold all-seeing gaze

      when something not yet anything changes its mind like me

      and begins to fall

      in the small hours

      and the light is still a flying carpet

      only a little white between worlds like an eye opening

      after an operation

      no turning back

      each drop is a snap decision

      a suicide from the tower-block of heaven

      and for the next ten seconds

      the rain stares at the ground

      sees me stirring here

      as if sculpted in porridge

      sees the garden in the green of its mind already drinking

      and the grass lengthening

      stalls

      maybe a thousand feet above me

      a kind of yellowness or levity

      like those tiny alterations that brush the legs of swimmers

      lifts the rain a little to the left

      no more than a flash of free-will

      until the clouds close their options and the whole

      melancholy air

      surrenders to pure fear and

      falls

      and I who live in the basement

      one level down from the world

      with my eyes to the insects with my ears to the roots

      listening

      I feel them in my bones these dead straight lines

      coming closer and closer to my core

      this is the sound this is the very floor

      where Grief and his Wife are living

      looking up

      LOOKING DOWN

      Clouds: I can watch their films in puddles

      passionate and slow without obligations of shape or stillness

      I can stand with wilted neck and look

      directly into the drowned corpse of a cloud

      it is cold-blooded down there

      precisely outlined as if under a spell

      and it narrows to a weighted point which

      throws back darkness

      oh yes there is a trembling rod that hangs my head above puddles

      and the clouds like trapped smoke wander under me

      and the sun lies discarded on the tarmac

      like an old

      white

      shoe

      don’t go on about those other clouds

      those high pre-historic space-ferns

      that steam the windows of the wind

      I know I could look up and see them

      curled like fossils in the troposphere

      but I am here

      I have been leaning here a long time hunched

      under the bone lintel of my stare

      with the whole sky

      dropped and rippling through my eye

      and now a crow on a glass lens

      slides through the earth

      ALONGSIDE BEANS

      Weeding alongside beans in the same rush as them

      6 a.m. scrabbling at the earth

      beans synchronised in rows

      soft fanatical irresponsible beans

      behind my back

      breaking out of their mass grave

      at first, just a rolled-up flag

      then a bayonet a pair of gloved hands

      then a shocked corpse hurrying up in prayer

      and then another

      and then (as if a lock had gone and the Spring had broken loose)

      a hoverfly

      not looking up but lost in pause

      landing its full-stop

      on a bean leaf

      (and what a stomach bursting from its straps

      what a nervous readiness attached to its lament and

      using the sound as a guard rail over the drop)

      and then another

      and after a while a flower

      turning its head to the side like a bored emperor

      and after a while a flower

      singing out a faint line of scent

      and spinning around the same obsession with its task

      and working with the same bewitched slightly off-hand look

      as the sea

      covering first one place

      and then another

      and after a while another place

      and then another place

      and another

      and another

      A DRINK FROM CRANMERE POOL

      Amphibious vagueness

      neither pool nor land

      under whose velvet

      three rivers spring to their tasks

      in whose indecent hills

      tired of my voice

      I followed the advice of water

      knelt and put my mouth

      to a socket in the grass

      as if to an outlet of my own

      unveiled stoneliness

      and sleepless flight

      they say the herons used to hang

      like lamps here giving off gloom

      now walkers float

      on the wings of their macs

      to this weephole

      where you can taste

      almost

      not water exactly

      SLOWED-DOWN BLACKBIRD

      Three people in the snow

      getting rid of themselves

      breath by breath

      and every six seconds a blackbird

      three people in raincoats losing their tracks in the snow

      walking as far as the edge and back again

      with the trees exhausted

      tapping at the sky

      and every six seconds a blackbird

      first three then two

      passing one eye between them

      and the eye is a white eraser rubbing them away

      and on the edge a blackbird

      trying over and over its broken line

      trying over and over its broken line

      DUNT: A POEM FOR A DRIED-UP RIVER

      Very small and damaged and quite dry,

      a Roman water nymph made of bone

      tries to summon a river out of limest
    one

      very eroded faded

      her left arm missing and both legs from the knee down

      a Roman water nymph made of bone

      tries to summon a river out of limestone

      exhaustedutterly worn down

      a Roman water nymph made of bone

      being the last known speaker of her language

      she tries to summon a river out of limestone

      little distant sound of dry grasstry again

      a Roman water nymph made of bone

      very endangered now

      in a largely unintelligible monotone

      she tries to summon a river out of limestone

      little distant sound as of dry grasstry again

      exquisite bone figurine with upturned urn

      in her passionate self-esteem she smiles looking sideways

      she seemingly has no voice but a throat-clearing rustle

      as of dry grasstry again

      she tries leaning

      pouring pure outwardness out of a grey urn

      little slithering sounds as of a rabbit man in full night-gear,

      who lies so low in the rickety willowherb

      that a fox trots out of the woods

      and over his back and awaytry again

      she tries leaning

      pouring pure outwardness out of a grey urn

      little lapping soundsyes

      as of dry grass secretly drinkingtry again

      little lapping soundsyes

      as of dry grass secretly drinkingtry again

      Roman bone figurine

      year after year in a sealed glass case

      having lost the hearing of her surroundings

      she struggles to summon a river out of limestone

      little shuffling sound as of approaching slippers

      year after year in a sealed glass case

      a Roman water nymph made of bone

      she struggles to summon a river out of limestone

      little shuffling sound as of a nearly dried-up woman

      not really moving through the fields

      having had the gleam taken out of her

      to the point where she resembles twilighttry again

      little shuffling clicking

      she opens the door of the church

      little distant sounds of shut-away singingtry again

      little whispering fidgeting of a shut-away congregation

      wondering who to pray to

      little patter of eyes closingtry again

      very small and damaged and quite dry

      a Roman water nymph made of bone

      she pleads she pleads a river out of limestone

      little hobbling tripping of a nearly dried-up river

      not really moving through the fields,

      having had the gleam taken out of it

      to the point where it resembles twilight.

      little grumbling shivering last-ditch attempt at a river

      more nettles than watertry again

      very speechless very broken old woman

      her left arm missing and both legs from the knee down

      she tries to summon a river out of limestone

      little stoved-in sucked thin

      low-burning glint of stones

      rough-sleeping and trembling and clinging to its rights

      victim of Swindon

      puddle midden

      slum of over-greened foot-churn and pats

      whose crayfish are cheap tool-kits

      made of the mud stirred up when a stone’s lifted

      it’s a pitiable likeness of clear running

      struggling to keep up with what’s already gone

      the boat the wheel the sluice gate

      the two otters larricking alonggo on

      and they say oh they say

      in the days of better rainfall

      it would flood through five valleys

      there’d be cows and milking stools

      washed over the garden walls

      and when it froze you could skate for five milesyes go on

      little loose end shorthand unrepresented

      beautiful disused route to the sea

      fish path with nearly no fish in

      TWO VOICES

      I own the dawn! the cockerel claims. The light

      still loiters with intent to take the night.

      Wind steals through woods, the democratic dew

      gives equal weight to everything. A few

      blank seconds and he starts again. He yawns

      and voice possesses him. I own all dawns!

      I stand on dignity! he shouts out, shut

      in the dark kingdom of his one-room flat.

      More pained possessive crazed each time he crows

      he has to wrench his larynx, curl his claws

      to let that shout surge through him. Glancing out

      I notice nothing answers except light,

      whose answer makes the earth’s hairs stand on end

      and shadows fall full-length without a sound.

      What is the word for wordless, when the ground

      bursts into crickets? There’s a creaking sound

      like speaking speeded up. A skeleton

      crawls across leaves, still in its cramped position.

      one minute stooping on a bending blade

      rubbing its painful elbows, next minute made

      of pinged elastic, flying hypertense,

      speaking in several languages at once.

      not like a mouth might speak, more like two hands

      make whispered contact through their finger-ends,

      like light itself which absent-mindedly

      brushes the grass and speaks by letting be,

      but when you duck down suddenly and stare

      into the startled stems, there’s nothing there.

      SUNDAY BALLAD

      A questioner called Light appeared,

      with probe and beam

      began to search the room

      where two lay twined in bed.

      whose intellect surpassing theirs

      with no regard

      for things half-dressed

      accused them of old age

      as weak as eggs they woke.

      they thought their bodies

      gleaming in the window-square

      felt less like age than air

      oh no not quite

      in blue pedantic Light

      two doors away two trees

      made less of leaves than sound

      as if to prove them wrong

      described the wind

      and as they dressed the dust

      flew white and silent through the house

      YOU MUST NEVER SLEEP UNDER A MAGNOLIA

      when the tree begins to flower

      like a glimpse of

      Flesh

      when the flower begins to smell

      as if its roots have reached

      the layer of

      Thirst upon the

      unsealed jar of

      Joy

      Alice, you should

      never sleep under

      so much pure pale

      so many shriek-mouthed blooms

      as if Patience

      had run out of

      Patience

      ASIDE

      In Berkshire somewhere 1970

      I hid in a laurel bush outside a house,

      planted in gravel I think.

      I stopped running and just pushed open

      its oilskin flaps and settled down

      in some kind of waiting room, whose scarred boughs

      had clearly been leaning and kneeling there

      for a long time. They were bright black.

      I remember this Museum of Twilight

      was low-ceilinged and hear-through

      as through a bedroom window

      one hears the zone of someone’s afternoon

      being shouted and shouted in, but by now

      I was too evergreen to answer, watching

      the woodlice at work in hard hats

      taking their trolleys u
    p and down.

      through longer and longer interims

      a dead leaf fell, rigidly yellow and slow.

      so by degrees I became invisible

      in that spotted sick-room light

      and nobody found me there.

      the hour has not yet ended in which

      under a cloth of laurel

      I sat quite still.

      Sz

      good morning to you, first faint breeze of unrest

      no louder than the sound of the ear unzipping,

      late-comer, mere punctuation between seasons

      whom the Chinese call

      Sz

      forgive me, small-mouth,

      I heard you criticise the earth

      and stepped outside to see the fields ruffle your cloth,

      but you were moving on:

      monotonous

      vindictive

      dust-bearing

      scrupulous

      one of many mass-produced particles of time

      by whom the fruit has small frost-marks

      and their hearts are already eroded and I

      too

      if you think, leaf-thief,

      if you think I care

      about your soft-spoken

      head-in-the-clouds

      seizure of another and yet another and yet another hour

     


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