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    My Mother Was a Freedom Fighter

    Page 5
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      and leaves as if he possessed the air,

      if you listen carefully for johnny’s songs

      maybe you can hear the homes torn down and burned

      fences destroyed, cattle slaughtered, maybe you

      can hear all the flowers scourged, manacled, and fettered

      by the hands of settlers.

      mobile technology

      who coulda envisioned a world

      where our subconscious need to connect

      would catapult us into a day and age

      of mimicking collective consciousness,

      creating gadgets and devices to fold our continents

      like maps

      revolutions are mobilized

      picket signs are text messaged

      like love letters squeezed in wine bottles

      and sent off to sea

      we photograph moments

      best kept in photo albums

      of our memory

      and upload them into society

      they become fragments we share

      while distance dances between us

      telepathy misunderstood

      dear alexander graham bell,

      remember when they called you a wizard for the telegraph

      who coulda prepared us for video messaging,

      watching a smile form or a an eye tear

      listening to laughter

      children in dakar with huts for homes

      have cellphones

      someone to reach across the country

      or the continent

      someone to say “i miss you too”

      “be careful of…”

      “remember when…”

      “i need you…”

      a soldier watches his son grow

      through an lcd screen,

      a friend text messages a smile

      to brighten the day of a coworker in a cubicle

      who forgot to send flowers to her grandmother

      and remind her daughter

      to lock the bottom lock before school

      there’s an app for everything.

      we are telehistorians

      in minutes, even seconds, we use our hands still

      to record and reach for someone

      when our bodies would have it otherwise

      this is what evolution looks like

      in the pocket of a hand

      we could still affect each other

      and mobilize a revolution of the mind

      america

      the agent said

      it made no sense

      for me to opt out

      of the TSA screening

      machine. i told him

      it was my right

      i intended on exercising it

      he sucked his teeth

      said i may as well start gettin

      used to goin thru the x-ray

      cuz soon i won’t have no rights

      to exercise anyhow

      so proud

      he was

      so proud so mean

      tellin me aboutmy rights

      his strut away

      when in french country

      indulge in a sidewalk stroll coffee sip

      midday parisian chatter

      hereafter life unimagined

      sitting in a castle listening to the crackle of a fireplace

      learning the etiquette of a properly spaced fork and knife

      courtyards and narrow cobblestone paths

      i miss front stoops and neighborly laughs

      the hustle and bustle of fire hydrant children

      budgeting knuckles and dimes

      money can’t buy home-cooked family feuds

      and unrequited love schemes

      i’m a wandering

      masquerade ball of leaving

      do-rag doobie dreaming

      of boulangeries on euclid ave

      fast-talked chocolate bars changing hands on the metro path

      pat-down searches and street-smart medicine

      for the dirty draws in oversized jeans brothrs

      wife beater lovrs, tattooed by strategic poverty

      of american politricks,

      how much blood does the pavement see in springtime

      veins dripping sideways

      what other life awaits us

      a senegalese elder on simplon

      knows a thing or two about bourgeois black

      blood spat for fine bread

      an algerian husband’s clothes

      thrown over a ledge on rue championnet

      every city has a slumlord compromising

      livelihood with skyrocket rent

      big dreams hustling in roofless conversations

      every drop counts

      ain’t a dimple deeper than a happy face in kenscoff

      bucket overhead hauling water from a well, wishing

      sad boy with a dress, snot running out his nose

      miserable as an earthquake goes

      clothes so hard to come by for those with less than

      a dollar to a name make me wanna holler

      way they do babies raising babies

      a diet of american flag rice and united nations filtered water

      rally the voodoo priests and their daughters

      for fahd

      dedicated to the work of the center for constitutional rights

      when you and i were young

      we believed

      in the sanctuary of peace

      i wake sweating

      strangled by a nightmare

      my america begins the day

      chewing on my cry

      i am twenty-seven

      and i have never killed a man

      but i know the face of death

      as if heirloom, my country

      memorizes murder as lullaby

      we spoon-feed poison labeled

      patriotism from young

      the nation grows fat on fury

      full on healthy hatred. we are

      bloody light and though

      the bullet never touched me

      i hold it still between my teeth

      and spit bodies off my tongue

      i confess. we are hugging

      ourselves beneath the rage

      although you cannot see

      the fire, i am a house of flames

      i prepare for another hard day’s

      work and emerge a massacre

      of meaning, marketing industry

      of reason. what is treason to

      a country called love? fickle

      and scared, what is heaven

      to a people who never look

      above? if there is a movement

      let it be a region in the heart

      where souls meet to practice

      human together though apart

      is there a faith for the faithless?

      a place for the placeless?

      beyond prison bars

      a man becomes faceless

      a presence more of essence

      a wrath more than wreckage.

      is there a worse crime than stolen time?

      have you words to replace a year or a life

      clinging onto phrases, have you a quote

      to mend deep-seated wounds

      old as cradled breath, to be a casualty

      of this endless, endless war

      humiliated in forgotten rooms

      of this earth. every day is a mourning

      every day is morning

      i touch the welted mark of an ominous night

      the only protest is fingertips

      feel this. right here is where they took

      my survival. i am the last siren of hope

      in a glimpse of this torched town

      i linger in your laws

      i linger in your laws an unkept promise

      when you and i were young

      when you and i were young

      we believed

      we believed

      in the sanctuary of peace

      and we are old

      we are old now

      i am gray, wrinkled
    by the pain,

      i drag my body because there are other

      bodies on my shoulders

      some cry

      others laugh

      we mumble stories of remembered paths

      have we not learned you can

      try to kill a man but you can not

      kill the love people have for him?

      and through this shred of silent seed

      we grow above

      above all the greed

      there are roaches

      there are creatures

      there are secrets that know

      freedom better than

      a detainee in guantanamo bay

      there’s an underworld of human oaths

      a man hums in the horror

      his voice swarms the silence

      lamenting for fought breath

      the body is a battlefield

      he angers for memory

      of something before

      a lost son

      a gone father

      a left brother

      an old friend

      i am a woman watching

      my country make enemies

      of God, they’d sacrifice

      the sunrise for a million lies

      if they could

      there are lives

      beyond the diversion of eyes

      his name is son

      is brother

      is father

      there is a village where names

      go to wander

      when you and i were young

      when you and i were young

      we believed

      we believed

      in the sanctuary of peace

      they should’ve told us

      it was war.

      a voice from azadi square

      for Neda Agha-Solatan

      after Hamid Panahi

      a scorching bullet hushes

      sparks stanching

      small gulps of blood

      i hold her and feel her waft away

      i plea, stay

      light rustles from her face

      i grasp a corpse, an utterance of refuge

      don’t be afraid, neda

      don’t be afraid

      remember the song

      we rehearsed it

      no fear

      carry on

      freedom is coming

      don’t be afraid

      the giving tree

      after #ddpalestine

      at the core of suffering, there is always a door, a wall.

      the knob shouting, they came in violently. before

      the sun rose, there was an Israeli flag

      posted outside. Beit Hanina, Silwan, Sheikh Jarrah. They came in

      violently for her home, her dignity or both, veins on

      a grandmother’s wrist pleading over a stove that fed

      the faces around it, rusted faucets cleansing tired hands

      and rinsing cauliflower, potatoes, carrots. picture frames

      of memories smiling back to her, knocked down.

      doors arrest the body, walls are everywhere. if her wrinkles

      could speak, they’d say: is there a country where humans will

      find refuge? her dimple would follow, Here

      is my grandson, Muhammad, a poet. Please bring him. there

      is killing all around, blood thirsts the ground, land littered

      by weeping olives, a boy in Galilee demonstrates, runs

      as soldiers chase after, they strike Asel with the base of a rifle.

      he trips & falls. a seed of peace, face down in an olive grove.

      they shoot him—execution-style—his parents cannot rid

      the image of when he first discovered his toes out of their bodies,

      the baby they brought home together, now a young man,

      feet fumbling out of the rubble. witness a child die,

      and quickly descend into a realm of demons. witness your child

      die, and you become the demon, hurled to the earth, manacled

      everlasting to who you are after—They came in

      violently. every Sunday is bloody, every mouth is a house

      of prayer. They came in violently, every hand is a God

      who heals or hurts, heals and hurts. twenty-nine foreheads

      kneeled to worship the ground and never rose again. there was no flag,

      no supper. one hundred and twenty-five open wounds wail

      the last fast, dawn to sunset—an offering? what sort of God

      murders during invocation? in their own home? what God murders at

      all? tongues torn from praise, mourn. we cried loudly for

      who we were before, knowing we could not unknow

      what was felt. we listened loudly. still, violently. our laughter

      startled their grimaces. we came with our joy, our heartache,

      our pain.

      shoved through checkpoints with passports

      music

      customs

      beliefs

      faith

      protest

      song

      artists

      activists

      visions

      in Hebron, a web of wired mesh flickered above us, shards of bottled

      threat, and scraps of garbage thrown by settlers. we were

      welcomed

      by Umm Yasin for a meal of maklooba.

      They came in violently, she says, while placing a pile of plates and utensils

      on the table, even a fetus is not protected. tear gas thrown in her

      courtyard, soldiers stomped down the door. she was

      brought to the hospital. its heart. its heart stopped beating, she says

      she serves us olives she stole from her own trees and we huddle

      in the bone-clinging cold, witnessing the want

      to belong, flung foreign through a door. They came in violently, she says.

      we came in violently. displaced, black, and american. still, still.

      she fed us.

      we are

      inspired by Mahmoud Darwish

      years of a sun loving us, solitude is

      in the wrist of a magnolia tree, hung or lynched

      in a rose-throated croon of liberty and justice for all

      except blues people live in the smoke

      at a crossroads, what really happened that day

      robert johnson brought his guitar

      to meet an evil of all hues

      play with magic

      and be ready for it

      to play with you

      some folks fear death

      others know better

      fear the devil

      don’t sell no soul

      to spite dying

      we all have to go

      someday or another

      death is a family member

      you hear of but never met

      until y’all meet

      some things is meant for tellin

      other things just is what they was

      i have faced worse things than being forgotten

      tho you call me woman whom you do not know

      i am a daughter of sisters

      of pillaged offerings

      an afterlife of secrets

      scores of lustering light

      i summon you bravely beside me

      marching onward

      move not for reason

      but love

      any law that deviates from this is as cruel

      as it is ancient

      let your words be soothing terrors

      never mind what was written

      we will rewrite it

      an idea of freedom is all we know

      our inheritance is to lift one another

      we shift into a gust

      or bristles between strands of hair

      ashes of breath raging in quiet

      what land is ours to toss and turn over

      if not our bodies, the dunes across chests

      the legs all roads,

      arms a meadow of marigolds

      we survive and regret surviving


      we are descendants of the end

      we see the end

      fences, barbed wire, stone walls, and iron gates

      do not impede truth.

      nations can not foresee our being

      here in this vessel of marrow and sweat

      having made it across

      the bayous of a dark mother’s womb

      and all that tried her

      pushing through treacherous attempts at our lives

      fear not what of me resides in you

      a shawl of waiting hankering to be felt

      what ails is what ails

      wild visions leave doors unlocked

      dazed veterans returned from combat,

      injured arms slung close to chest,

      loyal to a beat or nub.

      i am a country within a country

      retire rest a while

      woke and whirring, my beloved

      we take to the streets as a sort of rain

      descending atop roofs of all those who make

      laws to define the absence between us

      peculiar spirit who aspires for such things, to possess a people

      what sin hunts hearts?

      the birds, the fish, the cattle

      the islands of what is kept sacred.

      to nurture is to resist. in all forms we heal.

      we must work the land before we make claims to it

      what endures the body is the body

      when we left our mother’s belly

      we did not take any land

      only thing we took was the weapon of her smile

      and the elixir of her love.

      a storm in a teacup

      heads turn high toward a tale

      yolk-eyed and African,

      call us home to a wanted place

      speak to the world as if every child, boy and girl there

      a war song we share on the front lines of a shore

      chap-lipped and thirsty, the whistle of a pot boiling

      a shaking tray in trembling hands

      third-degree burns on master’s face

      we do not sit at the table

      we are the earth, the quake that breaks a chair

      the rumble and yell

      a knife to a throat

      the fork in an eye

      we are in the swamps,

      running home

      solidarity

      sisters whisper as i turn my back,

      crickets wiggle thru teeth,

      were i born more dark,

      more coarse in strand than tongue,

      more invisible than more white,

      i could’ve been a woman worthy of movement,

      a voice that wasn’t merely taking space but creating air,

      others rather you disappear than be beautiful

      don’t be a butterfly, a thunderbird babe

      mellifluous mermaid, an afro-cuban pegasus,

      no unicorn the color of myrrh, don’t be

     


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