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    Collected Poems

    Page 57
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    the last gash of light abruptly bandaged in darkness

      •

      1799, Coleridge to Wordsworth:I wish

      you would write a poem

      addressed to those who, in consequence

      of the complete failure of the French Revolution

      have thrown up all hopes

      of the amelioration of mankind

      and are sinking into an almost epicurean

      selfishness, disguising the same

      under the soft titles of domestic attachment

      and contempt for visionary philosophes

      A generation later, revolutions scorching Europe:

      the visionaries having survived despite

      rumors of complete failure

      the words have barely begunto match the desire

      when the cold fog blows back in

      organized and disordering

      muffling words and faces

      Your lashes, visionary! screening

      in sudden rushes this

      shocked, abraded crystal

      •

      I can imagine a sentence that might someday end with the word, love. Like the one written by that asthmatic young man, which begins, At the risk of appearing ridiculous … It would have to contain losses, resiliencies, histories faced; it would have to contain a face—his yours hers mine—by which I could do well, embracing it like water in my hands, because by then we could be sure that “doing well” by one, or some, was immiserating nobody. A true sentence then, for greeting the newborn. (—Someplace else. In our hopes.)

      But where ordinary collective affections carry a price (swamped, or accounted worthless) I’m one of those driven seabirds stamping oil-distempered watersmaimed “by natural causes.”

      The music’s pirated from somewhere else: Catalan songs reaching us after fifty years. Old nuevos canciones, after twenty years? In them, something about the sweetness of life, the memory of traditions of mercy, struggles for justice. A long throat, casting memory forward.

      •

      “it’s the layers of history

      we have to choose, along

      with our own practice: what must be tried again

      over and over and

      what must not be repeated

      and at what depthwhich layer

      will we meet others”

      the words barely begin

      to match the desire

      and the mouth crammed with dollars doesn’t testify

      … the eye has become a human eye

      when its object has become a human, social object

      BRECHT BECOMES GERMAN ICON ANEW

      FORGIVEN MARXIST IDEAS

      … the Arts, you know—they’re Jews, they’re left-wing,

      in other words, stay away …

      •

      So, Bo Kunstelaar, tell us true

      how you still do what you do

      your old theories forgiven

      —the public understands

      it was one thing then but now is now

      and everyone says your lungs are bad

      and your liver very sad

      and the force of your imagination

      has no present destination

      though subversive has a certain charm

      and art can really do no harm

      but still they say you get up and go

      every morning to the studio

      Is it still a thrill?

      or an act of will?

      Mr. Kunstelaar?

      •

      —After so long, to be asked an opinion? Most of that time, the opinions unwelcome. But opinion anyway was never art. Along the way I was dropped by some; others could say I had dropped them. I tried to make in my studio what I could not make outside it. Even to have a studio, or a separate room to sleep in, was a point in fact. In case you miss the point: I come from hod-carriers, lint-pickers, people who hauled cables through half-dug tunnels. Their bodies created the possibility of my existence. I come from the kind of family where loss means not just grief but utter ruin—adults and children dispersed into prostitution, orphanages, juvenile prisons, emigration—never to meet again. I wanted to show those lives—designated insignificant—as beauty, as terror. They were significant to me and what they had endured terrified me. I knew such a life could have been my own. I also knew they had saved me from it.

      —I tried to show all this and as well to make an art as impersonal as it demanded.

      —I have no theories. I don’t know what I am being forgiven. I am my art: I make it from my body and the bodies that produced mine. I am still trying to find the pictorial language for this anger and fear rotating on an axle of love. If I still get up and go to the studio—it’s there I find the company I need to go on working.

      •

      “This is for you

      this little song

      without much style

      because your smile

      fell like a red leaf

      through my tears

      in those fogbound years

      when without ado

      you gave me a bundle of fuel to burn

      when my body was utterly cold

      This is for you

      who would not applaud

      when with a kick to the breast or groin

      they dragged us into the van

      when flushed faces cheered

      at our disgrace

      or looked awaythis is

      for you who stayed

      to see us through

      delivered our bail and disappeared

      This little song

      without much style

      may it find you

      somewherewell.”

      •

      In the dark windowglass

      a blurred face

      —is it still mine?

      Who out there hoped to change me—

      what out there has tried?

      What sways and presses against the pane

      what can’t I see beyond or through—

      charred, crumpled, ever-changing human language

      is that still you?

      1997–98

      FOX

      (1998–2000)

      For Michelle, again, after twenty-five years

      Y in alto cielo, su fondo estrellado

      Y en las multitudes, la mujer que amo

      VICTORY

      Something spreading underground won’t speak to us

      under skin won’t declare itself

      not all life-forms want dialogue with the

      machine-gods in their dramahogging down

      the deep bushclear-cutting refugees

      from ancient or transient villages into

      our opportunistic fervorto search

      crazily for a hosta lifeboat

      Suddenly instead of art we’re eyeing

      organisms traced and stained on cathedral transparencies

      cruel bluesembroidered purplessuccinct yellows

      a beautiful tumor

      •

      I guess you’re not aloneI fear you’re alone

      There’s, of course, poetry:

      awful bridge rising over naked air:I first

      took it as just a continuation of the road:

      “a masterpiece of engineering

      praised, etc.”then on the radio:

      “incline too steep for ease of, etc.”

      Drove it nonetheless because I had to

      this being how—So this is how

      I find you:alive and more

      •

      As if (how many conditionals must we suffer?)

      I’m driving to your side

      —an intimate collusion—

      packed in the trunk my bag of foils for fencing with pain

      glasses of varying spectrum for sun or fog or sun-struck

      rain or bitterest night my sack of hidden

      poetries, old glue shredding from their spines

      my time exposure of the Leonids

      over Joshua Tree

      As if we’re going to win thisO because

      •

      If you h
    ave a sister I am not she

      nor your mother nor you my daughter

      nor are we lovers or any kind of couple

      except in the intensive care

      of poetry and

      death’s master planarchitecture-in-progress

      draft elevations of a black-and-white mosaic dome

      the master left on your doorstep

      with a white card in black calligraphy:

      Make what you will of this

      As if leaving purple roses

      •

      If (how many conditionals must we suffer?)

      I tell you a letter from the master

      is lying on my own doorstep

      glued there with leaves and rain

      and I haven’t bent to it yet

      if I tell you I surmise

      he writes differently to me:

      Do as you will, you have had your life

      many have not

      signing it in his olden script:

      Meister aus Deutschland

      •

      In coldest Europeend of that war

      frozen domesiron railings frozenstoves lit in the

      streets

      memory banks of cold

      the Nike of Samothrace

      on a staircasewings in blazing

      backdraftsaid to me

      : : to everyone she met

      Displaced, amputatednever discount me

      Victory

      indented in disasterstriding

      at the head of stairs

      For Tory Dent

      1998

      VETERANS DAY

      1

      No flag heavy or full enough to hide this face

      this body swung home from homesewn into its skin

      Let youentrusted to close the box

      for final drapingtake care

      what might be due

      to the citizen wounded

      by no foreign blast nor shell(is this

      body a child’s?if?why?)

      eyes hooded in refusal—

      over these to lower the nation’s pall, thick flutter

      this body shriveled into itself

      —a normal process they have said

      The face?another story, a flag

      hung upside down against glory’s orders

      2

      Trying to think about

      something else—what?—when?

      the story broke

      the scissor-fingered prestidigitators

      snipped the links of concentration

      State vs memory

      State vs unarmed citizen

      wounded by no foreign blast nor shell

      forced into the sick-field

      brains-out coughing downwind

      backing into the alleyhands shielding eyes

      under glare-lit choppers coming throughlow

      3

      In the dream you—is it?—set down

      two packages in brown paper

      saying, Without such means

      there can be no end

      to the wrenching of mind

      from body, the degradation

      no end to everything you hate

      and have exposed, lie upon lie

      I think: We’ve been dying slowly

      now we’ll be blown to bits

      I think you’re testing me

      “how vitally we desired disaster”

      You say, there can be no poetry

      without the demolition

      of language, no end to everything you hate

      lies upon lies

      I think: you’re testing me

      testing us both

      but isn’t this what it means to live—

      pushing further the conditions in which we breathe?

      4

      In the college parlor by the fireplace

      ankled and waisted with bells

      he, inclined by nature toward tragic themes

      chants of the eradication of tribal life

      in a blue-eyed trance

      shaking his neckbent silvering hair

      Afterward, wine and cake at the Provost’s house

      and this is surely no dream, how the beneficiary

      of atrocities yearns toward innocence

      and this is surely a theme, the vengeful rupture

      of prized familiar ways

      and calculated methods

      for those who were thereBut for those elsewhere

      it’s something else, not herds hunted down cliffs

      maybe a buffalo burger in the

      tribal college cafeteria

      and computer skills after lunchWho wants to be tragic?

      The college coheres out of old quonset huts

      demolition-scavenged doors, donated labor

      used textbooks, no waste, passion

      5

      Horned blazing fronds of Sierra ice

      grow hidden rivulets, last evening’s raindrop pulses

      in the echeveria’s cup next morning, fogdrip darkens the

      road

      under fire-naked bishop pines

      thick sweats form on skins

      of pitched-out nectarines, dumpster shrine

      of miracles of truths of mold

      Rain streaming, stroking

      a broken windowpane

      When the story broke I thought

      I was thinking about water

      how it is most of what we are

      and became bottled chic

      such thoughts are soon interrupted

      6

      When the story broke we were trying to think

      about historywent on stubbornly thinking

      though history plunged

      with muddy spursscreamed at us for trying

      to plunder its nestseize its nestlings

      capture tame and sell them or something

      after the manner of our kind

      Well, was it our secret hope?

      —a history you could seize

      (as in old folios of “natural history”

      each type and order pictured in its place?)

      —Back to the shambles, comrades.

      where the story is always breaking

      downhaving to be repaired

      7

      Under the small plane’s fast shadow an autumn

      afternoon bends sharply

      —swathes of golden membrane, occult blood

      seeping up through the great groves

      where the intestinal the intestate

      blood-cords of the stags are strung from tree to tree

      I know already where we’re landing

      what cargo we’ll take on

      boxed for the final draping

      coming home from homesewn into its skin

      eyes hooded in refusal

      —what might be due—

      1998–1999

      FOR THIS

      If I’ve reached for your lines(I have)

      like letters from the dead that stir the nerves

      dowsed you for a springhead

      to water my thirst

      dug into my compost skeletons and petals

      you surely meant to catch the light:

      —at work in my wormeaten wormwood-raftered

      stateless underground

      have I a plea?

      If I’ve touched your finger

      with a ravenous tongue

      licked from your palm a rift of salt

      if I’ve dreamt or thought you

      a pack of bloodfresh-drawn

      hanging darkred from a hook

      higher than my heart

      (you who understand transfusion)

      where else should I appeal?

      A pilot light lies low

      while the gas jets sleep

      (a cat getting toed from stove

      into nocturnal ice)

      language uncommon and agile as truth

      melts down the most intractable silence

      A lighthouse keeper’s ethics:

      you tend for all or none

      for this you might set your furniture on fire

     
    A this we have blundered over

      as if the lamp could be shut off at will

      rescue denied for some

      and still a lighthouse be

      1999

      REGARDLESS

      An idea declared itself between us

      clear as a washed wineglass

      that we’d love

      regardless of manifestos I wrote or signed

      my optimism of the will

      regardless

      your wincing at manifestos

      your practice of despair you named

      anarchism

      : : an idea we could meet

      somewhere elsea road

      straggling unmarked through ice-plant

      toward an oceanheartless as eternity

      Still hungry for freedomI walked off

      from glazed documentsbecalmed

      passionstime of splintering and sawdust

      pieces lying stillI was not myself but

      I found a road like thatit straggled

      The ocean still

      looked like eternity

      I drew it on a

      napkin mailed it to you

      On your hands you wear work gloves stiffened

      in liquids your own body has expressed

      : : what stiffens hardest?tears? blood? urine? sweat? the first

     


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