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    Collected Poems

    Page 46
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      winning hearts and minds

      peeling the prickly pear

      and dousing it in wine

      8.

      What would it mean to think

      you are part of a generation

      that simply must pass on?

      What would it mean to live

      in the desert, try to live

      a human life, something

      to hand on to the children

      to take up to the Land?

      What would it mean to think

      you were born in chains and only time,

      nothing you can do

      could redeem the slavery

      you were born into?

      9.

      Out of a knot of deadwood

      on ghostly grey-green stems

      the nightblooming cereus opens

      On a still night, under Ursa Major

      the tallest saguaro cracks with cold

      The eaters of herbs are eaten

      the carnivores’ bones fall down

      and scavengers pick them clean

      This is not for us, or if it is

      with whom, and where, is the covenant?

      10.

      When it all stands clear you come to love

      the place you are:

      the bundle of bare sticks soaked

      with resin

      always, and never, a bush on fire

      the blue sky without tale or text

      and without meaning

      the great swing of the horizontal circle

      Miriam, Aaron, Moses

      are somewhere else, marching

      You learn to live without prophets

      without legends

      to live just where you are

      your burning bush, your seven-branched candlestick

      the ocotillo in bloom

      11.

      What’s sacred is nameless

      moves in the eyeflash

      holds still in the circle

      of the great arid basin

      once watered and fertile

      probes outward through twigbark

      a green ghost inhabiting

      dormant stick, abstract thorn

      What’s sacred is singular:

      out of this dry fork, this

      wreck of perspective

      what’s sacred tries itself

      one more time

      1987–1988

      DELTA

      If you have taken this rubble for my past

      raking through it for fragments you could sell

      know that I long ago moved on

      deeper into the heart of the matter

      If you think you can grasp me, think again:

      my story flows in more than one direction

      a delta springing from the riverbed

      with its five fingers spread.

      1987

      6/21

      It’s June and summer’s height

      the longest bridge of light

      leaps from all the rivets

      of the sky

      Yet it’s of earth

      and nowhere else I have to speak

      Only on earth has this light taken on

      these swiveled meanings, only on this earth

      where we are dying befouled, gritting our teeth

      losing our guiding stars

      has this light

      found an alphabeta mouth

      1987

      FOR AN ALBUM

      Our story isn’t a file of photographs

      faces laughing under green leaves

      or snowlit doorways, on the verge of driving

      away, our story is not about women

      victoriously perched on the one

      sunny day of the conference,

      nor lovers displaying love:

      Our story is of moments

      when even slow motion moved too fast

      for the shutter of the camera:

      words that blew our lives apart, like so,

      eyes that cut and caught each other,

      mime of the operating room

      where gas and knives quote each other

      moments before the telephone

      starts ringing: our story is

      how still we stood,

      how fast.

      1987

      DREAMWOOD

      In the old, scratched, cheap wood of the typing stand

      there is a landscape, veined, which only a child can see

      or the child’s older self,

      a woman dreaming when she should be typing

      the last report of the day.If this were a map,

      she thinks, a map laid down to memorize

      because she might be walking it, it shows

      ridge upon ridge fading into hazed desert,

      here and there a sign of aquifers

      and one possible watering-hole.If this were a map

      it would be the map of the last age of her life,

      not a map of choices but a map of variations

      on the one great choice. It would be the map by which

      she could see the end of touristic choices,

      of distances blued and purpled by romance,

      by which she would recognize that poetry

      isn’t revolution but a way of knowing

      why it must come.If this cheap, massproduced

      wooden stand from the Brooklyn Union Gas Co.,

      massproduced yet durable, being here now,

      is what it is yet a dream-map

      so obdurate, so plain,

      she thinks, the material and the dream can join

      and that is the poem and that is the late report.

      1987

      WALKING DOWN THE ROAD

      On a clear night in Live Oak you can see

      the stars glittering low as from the deck

      of a frigate.

      In Live Oak without pavements you can walk

      the fronts of old homesteads, past tattered palms,

      original rosebushes, thick walnut trees

      ghosts of the liveoak groves

      the whitemen cleared.On a night like this

      the old California thickens and bends

      the Baja streams out like lava-melt

      we are no longer the United States

      we’re a lost piece of Mexico

      maybe dreaming the destruction

      of the Indians, reading the headlines,

      how the gringos marched into Mexico City

      forcing California into the hand

      of Manifest Destiny, law following greed.

      And the pale lies trapped in the flickering boxes

      here in Live Oak tonight, they too follow.

      One thing follows on another, that is time:

      Carmel in its death-infested prettiness,

      thousands of skeletons stacked in the campo santo:

      the spring fouled by the pickaxe:

      the flag dragged on to the moon:

      the crystal goblet smashed: grains of the universe

      flashing their angry tears, here in Live Oak.

      1988

      THE SLIDES

      Three dozen squares of light-inflicted glass

      lie in a quarter-century’s dust

      under the skylight. I can show you this:

      also a sprung couch spewing

      dessicated mouse-havens, a revolving bookstand

      rusted on its pivot, leaning

      with books of an era: Roosevelt vs Recovery

      The Mystery & Lure of PerfumeMy Brother Was Mozart

      I’ve had this attic in mind for years

      Now you

      who keep a lookout for

      places like this, make your living

      off things like this:You see, the books are rotting,

      sunbleached, unfashionable

      the furniture neglected past waste

      but the lantern-slides—their story

      could be sold, they could be a prize

      I want to see

      your face when you start to sort them. You want

      cloched hats of the Thirties, engage
    ment portraits

      with marcelled hair, maillots daring the waves,

      my family album:

      This is the razing of the spinal cord

      by the polio virus

      this, the lung-tissue kissed by the tubercle bacillus

      this with the hooked shape is

      the cell that leaks anemia to the next generation

      Enlarged on a screen

      they won’t be quaint; they go on working; they still kill.

      1987

      HARPERS FERRY

      Where do I get this landscape? Two river-roads

      glittering at each other’s throats, the Virginia mountains fading

      across the gorge, the October-shortened sun, the wooden town,

      rebellion sprouting encampments in the hills

      and a white girl running away from home

      who will have to see it all. But where do I get this, how

      do I know how the light quails from the trembling

      waters, autumn goes to ash from ridge to ridge

      how behind the gunmetal pines the guns

      are piled, the sun drops, and the watchfires burn?

      I know the men’s faces tremble like smoky

      crevices in a cave where candle-stumps have been stuck

      on ledges by fugitives. The men are dark and sometimes pale

      like her, their eyes pouched or blank or squinting, all by now

      are queer, outside, and out of bounds and have no membership

      in any brotherhood but this: where power is handed from

      the ones who can get it to the ones

      who have been refused. It’s a simple act,

      to steal guns and hand them to the slaves. Who would have thought

      it.

      Running away from home is slower than her quick feet thought

      and this is not the vague and lowering North, ghostland of deeper

      snows

      than she has ever pictured

      but this is one exact and definite place,

      a wooden village at the junction of two rivers

      two trestle bridges hinged and splayed,

      low houses crawling up the mountains.

      Suppose she slashes her leg on a slashed pine’s tooth, ties the leg

      in a kerchief

      knocks on the door of a house, the first on the edge of town

      has to beg water, won’t tell her family name, afraid someone will

      know her family face

      lies with her throbbing leg on the vined verandah where the woman

      of the house

      wanted her out of there, that was clear

      yet with a stern and courteous patience leaned above her

      with cold tea, water from the sweetest spring, mint from the same

      source

      later with rags wrung from a boiling kettle

      and studying, staring eyes. Eyes ringed with watching. A peachtree

      shedding yellowy leaves

      and a houseful of men who keep off. So great a family of men, and

      then this woman

      who wanted her gone yet stayed by her, watched over her.

      But this girl is expert in overhearing

      and one word leaps off the windowpanes like the crack of dawn,

      the translation of the babble of two rivers. What does this girl

      with her little family quarrel, know about arsenals?

      Everything she knows is wrapped up in her leg

      without which she won’t get past Virginia, though she’s running

      north.

      Whatever gave the girl the idea you could run away

      from a family quarrel? Displace yourself, when nothing else

      would change? It wasn’t books:

      it was half-overheard, a wisp of talk:

      escapeflightfree soil

      softing past her shoulder

      She has never dreamed of arsenals, though

      she’s a good rifle-shot, taken at ten

      by her brothers, hunting

      and though they’ve climbed her over and over

      leaving their wet clots in her sheets

      on her new-started maidenhair

      she has never reached for a gun to hold them off

      for guns are the language of the strong to the weak

      —How many squirrels have crashed between her sights

      what vertebrae cracked at her finger’s signal

      what wings staggered through the boughs

      whose eyes, ringed and treed, has she eyed as prey?

      There is a strategy of mass flight

      a strategy of arming

      questions of how, of when, of where:

      the arguments soak through the walls

      of the houseful of men where running from home

      the white girl lies in her trouble.

      There are things overheard and things unworded, never sung

      or pictured, things that happen silently

      as the peachtree’s galactic blossoms open in mist, the frost-star

      hangs in the stubble, the decanter of moonlight pours its mournless

      liquid down

      steadily on the solstice fields

      the cotton swells in its boll and you feel yourself engorged,

      unnameable

      you yourself feel encased and picked-open, you feel yourself

      unenvisaged

      There is no quarrel possible in this silence

      You stop yourself listening for a word that will not be spoken:

      listening instead to the overheard

      fragments, phrases melting on air: No moreMany thousand go

      And you know they are leaving as fast as they can, you whose child’s

      eye followed each face wondering

      not how could they leave but when: you knew they would leave

      and so could you but not with them, you were not their child, they

      had their own children

      you could leave the house where you were daughter, sister, prey

      picked open and left to silence, you could leave alone

      This would be my scenario of course: that the white girl understands

      what I understand and more, that the leg torn in flight

      had not betrayed her, had brought her to another point of struggle

      that when she takes her place she is clear in mind and her anger

      true with the training of her hand and eye, her leg cured on the

      porch of history

      ready for more than solitary defiance. That when the General passes

      through

      in her blazing headrag, this girl knows her for Moses, pleads to

      stand with the others in the shortened light

      accepts the scrutiny, the steel-black gaze; but Moses passes and is

      gone to her business elsewhere

      leaving the men to theirs, the girl to her own.

      But who would she take as leader?

      would she fade into the woods

      will she die in an indefensible position, a miscarried raid

      does she lose the family face at last

      pressed into a gully above two rivers, does Shenandoah or Potomac

      carry her

      north or south, will she wake in the mining camps to stoke the

      stoves

      and sleep at night with her rifle blue and loyal under her hand

      does she ever forget how they left, how they taught her leaving?

      1988

      ONE LIFE

      A woman walking in a walker on the cliffs

      recalls great bodily joys, much pain.

      Nothing in her is apt to say

      My heart aches, though she read those words

      in a battered college text, this morning

      as the sun rose. It is all too

      mixed, the heart too mixed with laughter

      raucousing the grief, her life

      too mixed, she shakes her heavy

      silvered hair at all the fixed

      declarations of baggage.
    I should be dead and I’m alive

      don’t ask me how; I don’t eat like I should

      and still I like how the drop of vodka

      hits the tongue. I was a worker and a mother,

      that means a worker and a worker

      but for one you don’t pay union dues

      or get a pension; for the other

      the men ran the union, we ran the home.

      It was terrible and good, we had more than half a life,

      I had four lives at least, one out of marriage

      when I kicked up all the dust I could

      before I knew what I was doing.

      One life with the girls on the line during the war,

      yes, painting our legs and jitterbugging together

      one life with a husband, not the worst,

      one with your children, none of it just what you’d thought.

      None of it what it could have been, if we’d known.

      We took what we could.

      But even this is a life, I’m reading a lot of books

      I never read, my daughter brought home from school,

      plays where you can almost hear them talking,

      Romantic poets, Isaac Babel. A lot of lives

      worse and better than what I knew. I’m walking again.

      My heart doesn’t ache; sometimes though it rages.

      1988

      DIVISIONS OF LABOR

      The revolutions wheel, compromise, utter their statements:

      a new magazine appears, mastheaded with old names,

      an old magazine polishes up its act

      with deconstructions of the prose of Malcolm X

      The women in the back rows of politics

      are still licking thread to slip into the needle’s

      eye, trading bones for plastic, splitting pods

      for necklaces to sell to the cruise-ships

      producing immaculate First Communion dresses

      with flatiron and irresolute hot water

      still fitting the microscopic golden wires

      into the silicon chips

      still teaching, watching the children

      quenched in the crossfire alleys, the flashflood gullies

      the kerosene flashfires

     


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