Shane watched him warily.
“I was bitten by a sh-shark once,” Shane said haughtily.
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“No you weren’t. You fell off your mama’s kitchen table
when you were little and cut your leg open,” Vic told him with a
laugh. “And you like to tell gullible lawyers that it was a shark
bite so they’ll think you’re tough and scary.”
“Heard that s-story already, huh?” Shane asked with a
grin and a shiver.
“Every time we have too much to drink and you can see
the ocean,” Vic told him affectionately as he rubbed Shane’s
arms harder and they bobbed together in the gently rolling
waves. The flag flying today was a green one or they’d probably
already have been taken by the riptides.
“Why are we out here when it’s this cold?” Shane
practically whined. At least his teeth had stopped chattering.
“Because it’s relaxing. Shut up. And stop shivering,” Vic
told him as he let him go. He kicked off the ocean floor and
relaxed back into a full body float.
Shane stood there shivering, watching him as Vic floated
with his face up to the sky, and smiled blissfully at the peace
offered by the sound of the ocean and nothing else in his ears.
Then, just before Vic sensed the trouble coming, Shane moved,
placing his hand over Vic’s face and shoving him beneath the
calm surface of the water.
Vic flailed and tried not to snort water up his nose as
Shane held him there briefly, and when he popped back up
Shane was laughing merrily and backing away from him with
his hands held out in front of him.
“It’s relaxing, Vic,” he reminded condescendingly.
Vic leapt at him and tackled him, wrapping his arms
around Shane’s shoulders and doing his best to pull the man’s
feet off the sand and drag him under. Shane planted his legs
wide and wrapped his arms around Vic’s torso, attempting the
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same thing and handling it in a much more professional
manner, and within seconds Vic was under water again.
When he came back up he floated with his feet just above
the ocean floor, not even bothering to struggle as Shane held
him close to his body in order to prevent his attacking again.
He blinked the water from his eyes and glared balefully at
Shane as the man snickered and grinned.
“Jackass,” Vic declared as he sputtered water and tilted
his head to avoid banging his nose against Shane’s.
Shane breathed out heavily through his nose as he tried to
stop laughing, and Vic closed his eyes to avoid getting more
saltwater in them. Shane had yet to let him go, and the other
man still shivered slightly as Vic relaxed in his embrace. He
once again let himself fall into the now-familiar feeling of
Shane’s arms around him, enjoying how good it felt and the
little jolt of pleasure in his chest that it caused.
He gasped in surprise when Shane’s nose nudged against
his cheek and the corners of their mouths brushed ever so
slightly.
Was Shane about to kiss him, or had it just been the
passing wave that had pressed them close together? Vic
immediately dismissed the idea as silly. Shane wouldn’t kiss
him, not out here in the middle of the ocean like this. Not
when… they were holding onto each other, their naked chests
pressed into each other like this. Not when Shane had spent
the night holding him to ward off nightmares. Right?
Vic gasped again when Shane’s lips brushed against his,
not a kiss, but certainly a gesture of intimacy that Vic and
Shane had never shared. It seemed like time ceased to be as he
felt the other man’s heart race in time with his and waited for
another move to be made. What the hell was going on here?
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This was Shane. Shane, who he’d known for five years, and
who’d never once displayed a hint of interest.
Shane seemed to be holding his breath as his mouth
hovered right at the edge of Vic’s, barely pressed against the
damp skin. Finally, he tilted his head just slightly, and Vic
thought for certain that he was going to kiss him. He was
slightly shocked to realize that he wanted Shane to kiss him.
There had always been a sort of latent attraction there for Vic,
but he’d always been too caught up in his self-destructive
tailspin with Owen to ponder it. Vic had let anything he felt for
Shane slide into an easy friendship with no regrets. Now,
though, this was definitely not a friendship kind of moment.
Vic parted his lips slightly in expectation of a kiss, but
almost as their lips were about to touch, a swell floated them
up and slightly apart. Shane’s head slid away as they floated
in the trough between the first wave and the next. He didn’t
move to try to kiss Vic again. He buried his face instead into
Vic’s neck and mumbled, “You’re warm,” as he pulled Vic
closer.
Vic inhaled deeply, disappointment ripping through him
quickly before he recovered his wits and murmured, “Told you
it gets better.”
“I can’t imagine how it could,” Shane whispered back to
him.
Then Shane pulled away suddenly and turned to make his
way back to the beach without another word. As he watched
him go, Vic was already in the process of wondering if he had
imagined it all.
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IV
Vic stepped through the open sliding glass door and squinted
into the relative darkness of the little cottage, looking for
Shane. He had watched from the water as Shane had
completely bypassed their chairs and gone straight up the
walkway to the house, and he had known that if things were
left unsaid about what had just happened, or not happened
really, then there would be problems. Vic’s main problem was
that he’d wanted that kiss more than he’d ever known.
“What the hell, man?” he asked incredulously as he
stepped into the cold living room, still dripping wet and gasping
when the air from the air conditioner hit him.
“What? I was coming back. I just got more beer,” Shane
told him innocently as he stepped around the L-shaped
counter and walked toward him slowly, holding out a bottle as
he did so.
“Not… not…. What was that?” Vic demanded in
frustration, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder at the sea
behind him.
What may have been dread flashed through Shane’s eyes,
and he lowered the beer he’d been offering and looked away
uncomfortably. Vic remembered the day in the car when Shane
had so kindly let him off the hook as they’d been talking about
Owen, and he wondered if it wasn’t time to return the favor. He
knew that they could drop it here and now by mutual consent,
and it would never be spoken of again. It would be chalked up
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to too much beer and too much su
n and it would simply fade
into a funny anecdote.
But no… no, Vic couldn’t let that happen. He had wanted
that kiss entirely too much to let an explanation for it not
having happened just slip away. He didn’t want this
opportunity to fade into anything. He took a step closer and
looked at Shane pointedly, silently demanding that the other
man meet his stare. Shane looked at him briefly and winced.
“I’m sorry,” Shane finally said softly. “Don’t know what I
was thinking. Must have been the—”
“Don’t you dare blame anything on alcohol,” Vic said softly
as he stepped closer.
Shane looked almost frightened then, and Vic could
practically read his thoughts. Had he made a stupid move and
screwed up the friendship? Vic knew this was what the other
man was thinking, because he had thought the same thing
after that first reckless kiss he had given Owen five years ago.
They had been drunk on tequila, sitting around the veranda of
some bar in the city late one night after a difficult day in court,
when Owen had confessed to having a slight crush on Vic.
Seconds later, Vic had been holding Owen’s face in his hands,
trying to crawl down his throat and set up camp. Right after
they had parted, Vic knew he’d had the same look in his eyes
that Shane did now.
“Were you… were you going to kiss me out there?” Vic
asked carefully.
Shane flushed and looked away again. “Thought may’ve
crossed my mind,” he mumbled as he looked down, avoiding
Vic’s eyes as best he could.
Vic stepped closer, into his line of sight, and leaned
forward slightly. He knew he should just let it slide, save Shane
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the embarrassment and save his body the torment of
wondering what Shane would feel like next to him. Beneath
him. Inside him.
Shane’s head jerked up and he inhaled sharply as Vic
forced himself into his personal space. “What are you doing?”
he whispered with difficulty as Vic’s nose brushed gently
against his cheek.
“Hoping that it’ll cross your mind again,” Vic whispered,
letting his lips move ever so slightly against the skin of Shane’s
face as he spoke.
Shane was having difficulty breathing as Vic got closer, his
breaths coming in short, quick gasps as Vic tilted his head
slightly and allowed his lips to brush over Shane’s. When Vic
parted his mouth and let his lower lip drag slowly over Shane’s,
Shane quit breathing entirely. His eyes drifted closed and he
tilted his head back slightly, his mouth parting as their lips
met gently for the first time, barely grazing at the edges of their
mouths.
Vic edged forward more, closing his lips finally in a soft
kiss at the corner of Shane’s mouth, and Shane exhaled in a
short little burst of air as Vic’s hand touched his hip gently.
Another soft kiss, and Shane tilted his head back down and
returned the touch to his lips tentatively, his body taut as a
bowstring in case Vic changed his mind suddenly and he had
to beat a hasty retreat.
Vic placed several more light, chaste kisses on the corner
of Shane’s open mouth as the man struggled for breath, his
lips closing gently over Shane’s and tugging coaxingly, trying to
get him to return the kisses. Finally, he let his tongue lick
lightly at the corner of Shane’s mouth, still tentative but
wanting more. Shane reacted almost instantly by tilting his
head to the side suddenly and gripping Vic to him. He crushed
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their mouths together in an openmouthed, hungry kiss, and
Vic moaned in surprise as he was swept up in Shane’s sudden
burst of barely controlled passion.
One of the beer bottles Shane held in his hands fell to the
ground as Vic wrapped his arms around Shane’s body, and
Shane did the same to him, holding him tightly as their
tongues met in slow, languid laps over and over, teeth nipping
at salty lips as they tried to get closer and closer to each other.
The other bottle fell to the ground and clanked against the leg
of the coffee table as it rolled and spewed beer all over the floor.
Shane’s hands slid up Vic’s body to trap his arms where they
were and tangle in his hair as he pulled Vic closer.
There was no battle of wills, as Vic would have expected
from his headstrong friend, but rather a give-and-take back-
and-forth that thrilled him beyond anything he had felt in quite
some time. Shane’s arms around his were strong and yet
somehow intriguingly unconfident. Vic let his hands run over
the smooth, slightly burnt skin of Shane’s back tentatively,
wanting so much more even as his mind reeled over what they
somehow found themselves doing. They both pulled back
slightly after what seemed a delicious eternity of contact and
clung to each other, each breathing hard and unwilling to
release the other.
“I don’t… know what to say,” Vic gasped as he hid his face
against Shane’s cheek and held Shane close to him to keep him
from being able to look him in the eye.
Shane breathed heavily against his neck and nodded
silently.
“I had no idea,” he said with a little laugh as Shane tried to
These were the types of conversations that should be had in
the dark, lying in bed where you can stare at the ceiling and
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hide your embarrassment from all but the night. “How long
have you…?” He searched for the right word and failed.
“Wanted you,” Shane supplied breathlessly. Vic nodded.
“Years,” he answered in a pained voice.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Vic asked in disbelief.
“I knew you were hung up on Owen,” Shane admitted. “I
didn’t want to complicate things. Vic….” He pulled away a little
more forcefully, and Vic looked down at his sandy feet in a
momentary panic as Shane held him at arm’s length and
looked at him. “You okay?” Shane whispered, and Vic looked
up at him through his lowered lashes.
“You’re a damn fine kisser,” he murmured with a weak
smile.
Shane’s hand rested against Vic’s cheek briefly and then
he smiled crookedly and began to chuckle.
Vic couldn’t help but grin a little at the unexpected
reaction. He snorted incredulously just before Shane kissed
him again. Vic moaned in surprise and allowed Shane to
control the kiss this time, distantly observing that the other
man was more confident in his actions now.
Vic sighed brokenly into Shane’s mouth and Shane’s
breath hitched slightly. When he pulled back it was just
enough to allow them to speak, their lips still brushing together
as they did so.
“What the hell are we doing?” Vic whispered in confusion.
“I don’t know,” Shane answer
ed in the same tone of voice.
“I know what I want to do,” he added in a barely audible
whisper.
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Vic would have thought he imagined it once more if he
hadn’t been able to feel Shane’s lips moving and his breath
gusting across his own lips.
“But… this shouldn’t….” Shane trailed off and backed
away slightly as he tried to formulate his words.
Vic couldn’t help himself, and before Shane could
continue, Vic pressed their mouths together with just a little
nudge of his chin.
Shane’s breath hitched again, a delightful sensation in
Vic’s mouth, and Vic let his hands slide slowly down the sides
of Shane’s rib cage until his fingertips rested just beneath the
wet waistband of Shane’s bathing suit. He half-expected the
intimate touch to scare Shane away, but instead Shane’s kiss
became even more heated and hungry.
Their bodies leaned into each other, damp skin pressing
into damp skin, and by the time Shane finally grudgingly
pulled away, Vic’s mind was already trying to chart the most
direct path to the bed.
Shane leaned his forehead against his as Vic’s dazed mind
tried to catch up with the abrupt halt, and he stepped away
before Vic could stop him.
He cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked down at
the floor as Vic swayed. Vic watched him lick his lips slowly as
he bent over and retrieved the two bottles of beer he had
dropped.
“I’ve made a bit of a mess,” he murmured, as if talking to
himself as he bent over the little puddle of spilled beer.
Vic opened his mouth to question why they were no longer
groping each other, but Shane seemed to have taken Vic’s
tongue with him when he pulled away and Vic couldn’t utter a
sound.
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Shane turned and walked slowly away, and Vic watched
him toss the now-sudsy quarter of a beer into the trash can
and put the bottle that hadn’t yet been opened back into the
refrigerator. He closed the door and then stood there in front of
it, his hand still on the handle as he kept his head down, as if