A lover’s eyes will gaze an eagle blind;
A lover’s ear will hear the lowest sound,
When the suspicious head of theft is stopp’d:
Love’s feeling is more soft and sensible
Than are the tender horns of cockled snails . . .
I get to live there. Because of my job. An accident of employment.
I couldn’t be like that all the time – I’d get nosebleeds in shops – but to the best of my ability I can visit. And when I first read that, when I first heard that, I knew I want that – and I have it. Because someone wrote it and left it for me to find. I have it. You have it. We have it. And the only way I can lose it is if you steal my education, steal my time, steal my quality of life so that it pains me to wake – because that stuff will wake you.
But I don’t think you’ll let that happen. Because you’re here. We’ve just spent all this time together with nothing but us and words – who knew you could still do that? People ask me why I do this show – you’re a writer, you should just write. Well, I do it so I can reach this point and I can say . . . Don’t let anyone give you toothache unless you need it – don’t let anyone steal your delight, not even yourself. The words are yours – for wishes, dreams, hopes, jokes, news, gossip, poems, stories, swearing – I haven’t sworn in all this, but I could. They can be good words. Strong words.
But there’s not a word we have that’s weak – and every one of them for nothing but our use – without us they fade, without them we are nameless, we are silence, we are the lies and blurs and slogans of other people’s minds – when there shouldn’t be a beauty we can’t sing, there shouldn’t be a love we can’t declare, there shouldn’t be a truth, a hope, a justice, a new reality we can’t name and start to make with words. They give us the no and yes of everything, immortality in a mark, a breath. And if you’ve ever been alone, if you’ve ever been confined, if you’ve ever been frightened like a child, then they will hide you. They will save you. And they can, they always can and always will, keep safe your joys and lift you Up to the Love of your own life and this world and any other you wish to make. They will light you, no matter where you have to go. If you let them, they will make you shine.
Acknowledgements
‘Does That Make Sense?’ was first published in The Cambridge Companion to Creative Writing, edited by David Morley and Philip Neilsen.
All blogs first appeared at www.guardian.co.uk in the Guardian Online, some have been slightly altered for this edition. All other pieces have appeared on A.L. Kennedy’s website www.a-l-kennedy.co.uk and/or have been performed at various festivals nationally and internationally.
INDEX
The page references in this index correspond to the printed edition from which this ebook was created. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.
The following index is in no way exhaustive and may simply provide a sobering commentary on the author’s life.
accommodation, strange I, II, XXII, XXIII, XXIV, XXXV
actors X, XVI, XXV, 259, 291–2, 303–4, 331, 336, 345
arts, working in the 251–75
being stuck XXXII
chair, mine VIII, XX, 249, 348
character LIII, 284, 291–2, 297–309
death IV, V, VII, 261, 262, 273, 331, 333–5
despair XXIV
emotion LIV, 307, 339–40
encouragement XXXVIII, XLIV, XLVIII, LVI
fear 241–3, 308
festivals II, III, IV, VIII, 318, 332, 352
gannets IV, V, XXXVII
illness II, VIII, IX, XIII, XVII, XL, XLIX, L, LII, LIV, LV, LVI, 247–9, 273, 278
insomnia 245–50
inspiration II, III, IV, V, VI, X, XVIII, XIX, XXI, XXVII, XXXVI, XLVI, L, LV, 265, 285, 290, 291, 292, 293, 299, 307, 308, 331
lifestyle choices III, IV, XII, XIV, XVI, XVII, XX, XXI, XXV, XXVI, XXVIII, XXXVIII, XLIV, XLVII, L, LVI, 245–50, 251–75
loneliness XXIV
misconceptions relating to writers and writing VI, XIV, XV, XVII
new writers I, XII, XVII, XLIV, LVI
New York XXXIII, 248
novel XIX, XX, XXI, XXIII, XXVII, XXIX, XXXII, XXXV, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, LI, 249, 266–7, 332, 339, 340–1, 344
research VIII, 298, 306, 341
reviews VIII
rewriting XVII, XXII, XLVI, LVI, 263, 303, 308, 352, 356
Santa Fe XXXV
Sark X, XI, XII, XVII, XXVII
self-maintenance, general lack of VI, V, VIII, XVIII, XIX, XXV, XXX, XXXIII, 245–50
sex VII, XIII, XV, 326, 340, 350, 352, 355–6
Shakespeare III, XXV, 258, 315, 345, 356
short story XV
theatre 252–3, 254, 343, 344
tiredness I, XXIV, XXXIX, XLVI, 246, 284, 319, 353, 354
travel, laborious and/or Steampunk II, VI, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XVI, XXI, XXV, XXVII, XXXIV, XXXVII, XLIII, XLV, XLVI, 260, 352
voices V, IX, XXX, XLIX, 259, 260, 266, 278, 279, 281, 285, 291, 298, 303, 304, 311–37
word usage V, XVII, XXXI, 339–58
workshops III, VII, XVII, XXXI, 251–4, 255, 267, 277–96, 314, 319, 326, 329, 347
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Epub ISBN: 9781448130344
Version 1.0
Published by Jonathan Cape 2013
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Copyright © A.L. Kennedy 2013
A.L. Kennedy has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
First published in Great Britain in 2013 by
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