dolphin sleep advantage over, 257
how germs and The Other became entangled by, 83
long strides best avoided by, 206, 207
water as healthiest liquid for, 272
humming, colds prevented by, 1
hummingbird, sugar as sole energy source of, 229
humor:
anti-CR, 19
cab-driver, 287
dermatological, 243
in laughter clubs, 144
presidential, 288
proctological, 134
raw food, 226–27
urological, 279, 280
hunger, as when you salivate at thoughts of lettuce, 271
Hygiene Hypothesis, 80–81
hypertension, 55, 258
see also blood pressure
hypogonadism, 282
hypothermia, ideas for warding off, 310–11
hysteria, vibrators for treatment of, 103
iced drinks, vogue whipped up for, 275–76
Idle, Eric, 152–53
immortality, 111–12
complications of, 155
of Internet, 155
immune cells, 80
immune system, 74, 75–83, 211
germs as allies of, 80
hobbled by sleep deprivation, 258
see also germ debate; germs; infectious diseases
impetigo, 32
Impressionist artists, optical woes of, 327
Incidental Physical Activity (fidgeting), 353
Independence Hall, noise abatement at, 56
infectious diseases, 15
gyms and sports as sources of, 32
as second leading cause of death, 77
see also specific diseases
InForm Fitness, 157–61
ashram-like ambience of, 157–58
Inherit the Wind (film), 26
In Pursuit of Silence (Prochnik), 55, 56
insalubrity, see bad for you
Institute of Medicine, 135
daily exercise regimen of, 33
insulin, 93, 229
intelligence, meritocracy of, 167
Intelligence and How to Get It (Nisbett), 165
intenSati, 127–30
aftereffects of session at, 129–30
ambience of, 128–29
co-creating reality at, 129
International Trepanation Advocacy Group, 8
Internet, 58, 143, 228, 310
AJ’s yellow teeth singled out on, 196
baby helmets researched on, 336
cultural and hygienic taboos sometimes violated on, 16
dental spas listed on, 195
eye exercises on, 329
Fitbit calorie stats on, 108
immortality of, 155
magical thinking aided by, 149
memento mori found on, 154
pro-chewing websites on, 23
psychology of cursing on, 125
quarter-baked ideas on, 8
squat-aiding toilet apparatus found on, 132, 136–37
“iPlod,” 68
IQAir Purifier, 217
Irwin, Greg, 305–7
Jacobs, A. J.:
activity Balkanization once envisioned by, 64
almond as sedative of choice for, 299
American sloth-related maladies of, 10–11
anxiety adored by brain of, 149
arctic water phobia of, 310
aversion to head touching or skull piercing of, 119
balance of optimism and anxiety of, 71
balance of sensible realism and delusional optimism attained by, 130
B-cup pecs wanted by, 34
biceps envy of, 84
bingeing on sugary, salty stuff by, 293–94
brain’s peak performance sought by, 166, 171–73
catches cold despite remarkable health-mindedness, 72, 74
in Central Park meeting with French caveman, 37–43
chewdaism of, 24, 84, 355
consequences of toilet reading by, 134–35
daily menu of, 223–25, 224
digitally aged picture of (HourFace), showing future self, 48–50, 49, 231
disastrous posture of, 313
DNA test results of, 300–301
Dr. Germ gets elbow bump from, 77
EHE report on body of, 10–11
embarrassing taste test errors of, 296
ersatz health food admittedly enjoyed by, 95
facial improvements contemplated by, 238
on finishing the triathlon, 323
fitness equipment cluttering closets of, 98–99
future self accommodated by getting to sleep earlier, 265
germaphobia of, 74, 76–77
gone from quasi-vegetarian to flexitarian, 93
at grandfather’s hospital bedside, 288–89
hand-holding campaign of, 308
health resolutions of, 347–48
heel-heavy stride of, 207, 209
helmet experiment of, 334, 340–42
“honest placebo” of, 124
how waiters are instructed by, 222
on juice fast, 268, 269–72
Julie and her mom saved by magical thinking of, 148–49
lab-rat viewpoint of, 22
lectured by a pack of ill-bred pixels, 168
libido upgrade of, 283–87
listing F-words a challenge to, 172
lost kids as fitness trial for, 331–33
as memento mori fan, 154
“mild case” of sleep apnea in, 263
mild hernia of, 180–81
mild OCD affliction of, 32
mind-expanding activities of, 168
moles removed from back and nose of, 241–44
most relaxing MRI in life of, 218–19
mouth breathing disclosed by, 215–16
muscle soreness pleasing to, 36
as mushy, easily winded, moderately sickly blob, 2–4
natural running in the park by, 30, 39–40, 42
new decisive posture of, 317
new unwelcoming immune system of, 211
number of incorrect breaths taken by, 215
partial list of health-driven tasks of, 155–57
personal record for superfoods eaten in one meal, 244
“Plazibo” soon to be marketed by, 124
Project Libido of, 105–9
restaurant portion-control techniques of, 50
Retin-A tried with some success by, 237–38
as “reverent agnostic,” 201
self-improvement projects of, 4–6
self-righteous health fundamentalism of, 191–92
shoulder hurt while kayaking on Wii, 113–15, 127
in slow fitness workout, 157–61
smell and taste tests taken by, 295–97
stomach-breathing a life changer for, 217–18
story of his glowing teeth told by, 196–97
sugar-free for two weeks, 229–32
on this loud, loud world, 54
three sons of, 3, 4; see also Jacobs, Jasper; Jacobs, Lucas; Jacobs, Zane
torso studied nightly for progress by, 83–84
treadmill accepted by Julie, not neighbors, 60
treatment for shoulder pain of, 117–21
triathlon of, 250–52, 309, 314, 319–24
tropical pneumonia of, 2–3, 4
TSA pat-down of, 153–54
uncontainable sumo laughter of, 146–47
visits to grandfather by, 24–26, 44–47, 69–71, 93–94, 125–26, 178–80, 219–21, 266–67
wacky neurobic exercises of, 170–71
Week of Maximum Safety for, 339
what a trained, sharp-eyed journalist notices, 248
what he could have achieved had he been breastfed, 300
on what his colonic felt like, 135
where his testosterone clocked in, 282
why estrogen injections could improve his writing, 287
why more sleep is needed by, 258
w
hy sleep is hated by, 257
at work, in dark and depressing dungeon, 210
as world’s most mindful eater, 22–24
Zeo’s effect on sleeping of, 265–66
Jacobs, Arnold J., Sr., 332
Britannica read-through attempted by, 5, 233
in workout with AJ, 233
Jacobs, Beryl, 288–89
Jacobs, Ellen Kheel, 300
AJ told about med student first-year panic by, 27
at her Pilates studio, 233
steamer purchase advised by, 364
in visit to grandpa’s apartment, 345–46
Jacobs, Jasper, 13, 22, 112, 124, 138, 163, 192, 319
AJ’s concerns about the crowd he hangs out with, 82
anole lizard named by, 152
birth and heritage of, 5
breathing mantra taught to, 218
father’s public pull-ups embarrassing to, 65
holding hands with, 308
Julie questioned on smoking by, 214
lost in the park, 331–33
playing his Super Mario game defended by, 331
source of food discussed with, 23
Jacobs, Julie Schoenberg:
aerobics ardently defended by, 160
age-guessing dermatologist told off by, 239
AJ asked if he has a schmuck gene by, 303
AJ defended from Siren song of his mangoes by, 231–32
AJ in ten-thousand-stepathon competition with, 99–100
AJ’s brain-enhancing disputes with, 170
AJ’s helmet ridiculed by, 340
AJ’s hold-that-thought finger shown to, 24
on AJ’s immortality scenarios, 111, 112
AJ’s Project Libido joined with skepticism by, 105–9
AJ’s snoring noted by, 259, 261
AJ’s weight-loss progress as measured by, 27
aphrodisiac roller-coaster iPhone app squelched by, 108
boundless pop culture knowledge of, 206
dorky, noise-canceling headphones disparaged by, 58
Dr. Germ as viewed by, 77, 81
furry pet allergy of, 152
genetic testing of, 302
gym attendance urged by, 29, 31, 36, 47
hand-holding project worn thin for, 308
Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle illustrated by, 59
household safety check as eye roller for, 339
how “pumpkin” became her new pet name, 232
on Hygiene Hypothesis side of germ debate, 80, 81
immunological pansies decried by, 76
intenSati principles applied at home by, 129–30
juice fast broken for leftover Indian food by, 270–71
married down the immune system ladder, 72
mindfulness at Momofuku cruelly urged by, 171
modified Bass Method learned by, 198
Nature’s Platform given a test drive by, 137
neti pot misused by, 73
odor workouts aided by, 297–98
pushy Areca palm ordered out by, 28
puts kibosh on electronically heated wet suit for AJ, 310
as a rapturous sleep hobbyist, 257–58, 266
Retin-A borrowed from AJ by, 237–38
saved by AJ’s magical thinking, 148–49
on sex frequency revelations, 105, 286
sunscreen surfeit derided by, 240
superheroes led by, 200
tearful reaction to the removal of AJ’s mole of forty-two years, 243
as toxic-free and safe for AJ to keep, 186
triathlon suggested by, 250, 251
typing while walking questioned by, 68
untold story behind Alison’s dinner with, 161–62
in visit to AJ’s grandfather, 219–21
what her crossed arms portend, 128
what her reaction to natural chocolate reminded AJ of, 16
on where to begin living forever, 18
on why people smoke, 214
withering glances of, 162, 169
worry about AJ’s antiworry plan inspired by, 150
Jacobs, Lucas, 22, 57, 249, 277, 278, 318, 340
on D-word matters, 110–11
logic puzzles created by, 168–69
missing stuffed elephant of, 99–100
neti pot misused on soft-boiled egg of, 73
postmeltdown stupor of, 270
Spongebob Band-Aid’s magical effect on, 122
in visit to great-grandfather, 266–67
Jacobs, Zane, 22, 53, 214, 277, 323
cotton candy offered to AJ by, 348
decibel levels recorded for tantrum of, 59
D-word used in negotiations by, 111
fallen cucumber slice restored to, 81
fallen ice cream lapped up by, 76, 81
fate of smiley face on cheek of, 202
lost in the park, 331–33
on what the seas await, 23
Jacobs apartment:
AJ’s fear of slow death in, 18
clean sweep of sweets in, 230
fat-fighting design of, 22
Marti’s roundup of toxic hazards in, 183–86
safety-violation scan of, 337–39
wearing bike helmets for safety in, 334, 30
Jacobs boys, 3, 4, 7, 50, 301, 344
AJ’s dozing while reading to, 258
AJ’s health project questioned by, 110
Band-Aid as panacea of first choice for, 122
at Benihana, 53–54
discussing the D-word with, 110–12
dungeon chosen as refuge from, 210
at (or near) family dinner, 22–24
food swiped from plates of, 28
full-time, nonstop healthy living given up for, 346
germaphobia totally lacking in, 76
incomprehensible loudness attained by, 53
“monkey shoes” of, 203
ordering them around with backbone, 317
Purim costumes of, 199–200, 201
sneezing and wheezing of, 211
in sweet-free home, 230
synagogue joined for benefit of, 201
topics given a scatological twist by, 23, 133
what could happen if AJ’s testosterone gel rubbed off on, 284
see also Jacobs, Jasper; Jacobs, Lucas; Jacobs, Zane
Jacobs twins (Lucas and Zane), 22, 263, 266–67
improvised fairy tales performed by, 277–78
responding to D-word questions of, 110–12
Jane, aunt, 69, 125, 178, 267
at Kheel’s hospital bedside
Japan, sex frequency in, 105, 286
Jeanne-Claude, 69
Jefferson, Thomas, meat as the condiment of, 362–63
Jeter, Derek, 99
Jewish Community Center pool, swimming at, 277
jock itch, 32
jogging, 33
shoelessly, 203–8, 204
John (friend), 58
Jordan, Michael, ill-advised career switch of, 296
Journal of the American Medical Association, 104, 284
Judaism, new ways tried on Sabbath in, 171
Judson, Olivia, 66
juice fast, 268, 269–72
AJ’s assessment of, 271–72
Julie’s exit after nine hours of, 270–71
three effects of, see crankiness; hunger; spaciness
juicers, auger-geared, 225–26
jumping jacks, problems solved with, 176
Kafka, Franz, 24
kale eating contests, 60
Kardashian, Kim, 316
Kate, Aunt, 178
Katz, David, 229
Katz, Jeffrey, 317–18
Kawashima, Ryuta, 169
Keep Your Brain Alive (Katz and Rubin), 170–71
Kellogg, John Harvey, 363
Kevin (friend), 31
Kheel, Ann Sunstein, 45–47
as honorary Generation X member, 126
Ted Kheel’s relationship with, 45–46, 47
Kheel, Theodore:
age and appearance of, 24–26
age denialism of, 125–26
athletic background and equipment of, 44–45
Christo documentary and, 69–70
death and funeral of, 288–91
failing health of, 266
family dietary rift negotiated by, 93–94
favorite Africa story of, 178–80
flower-print shirt as AJ’s keepsake of, 346
happy marriage of, 45–46, 47
hospital visits to, 287–89
key to longevity of, 70–71
mass transit projects of, 219–20
on preference for sticking around, 291
raised-fist salute of, 178, 180
Ribot’s Law illustrated by, 178
visit to empty apartment of, 345–46
King, Martin Luther, Jr., 25
kitchen safety, 338
knee problems, 315
Know-It-All, The (Jacobs), 5, 21
Krebs cycle, 159
Kuczynski, Alex, 238
Kurzweil, Ray, 112
Kutcher, Ashton, why Vibrams are unsuited to, 206
lacrosse teams, above-average students on, 175
lactic-acid buildup, 309, 310
LaLanne, Jack:
death of, 311
lifestyle of, 254–55
weight training of, 254
Lamb, Charles, 72
Lambroza, Eileen, 242, 244
Lametti, Daniel, 136
Langer, Ellen, 329
Lasik surgery, 329
Late Show with David Letterman, 21
laughter, typology of, 145
laughter clubs, see laughter yoga
laughter movement, world peace as goal of, 147
laughter yoga, 142–47
contagious sumo laughing at, 146–47
criticism and competition at, 146
as easiest room in New York, 143
“Fake it till you make it” as precept of, 144, 145
laughs, not jokes exchanged at, 144
laundry, sun-dried, 82
LDL, HDL vs., 7
Le Corre, Erwan:
caveman philosophy dispensed by, 39, 40–41
as Caveman Workout leader, 37–43
on how cuts and scratches promote health, 42
log carrying led by, 41
Legionnaires’ disease, prevention of, 82
Lewis, Juliette, 149
liberals, germ debate as seen by, 83
Liberman, Peter, 83
life extension movement, 112
Life of Brian (film), 152–53
life spans:
Big Pharma as big booster of, 187
of cavemen ancestors, 37
of health saints vs. sinners, 30–32
increased by exercise, 32
in New York, 221
see also longevity
Lipitor, 10, 33
lipstick, reversing application of, 171
Lisa (friend), 14
Lister, Joseph, 78