My hands tangled in Jackson’s hair as he began to move. He grunted with every thrust, as though he couldn’t handle the pleasure that he was getting from our moment. Being away from Jackson had been complete torture, but this was exactly what made all of our goodbyes worth it. The reunion that we shared, the desire and need to be close with one another, it ate at us until it was satisfied. Jackson didn’t hold back as he pounded into me, my legs linking behind his back as I encouraged him to go deeper. His tongue massaged mine as he moved faster, my orgasm just waiting to be released. I was refusing to let it go, this moment going by too quickly when it was all that I had wanted ever since he left.
Jackson lifted his lips away from mine and brushed some hair out of my face, “Give it to me, Mad. I need it.”
I knew exactly what he meant, and I did as he requested, letting my release envelope me so quickly that I almost forgot to breathe. Faintly, I could hear Jackson calling out and I could feel his release fill me up. If I wasn’t pregnant right now, I definitely would have been after that return sex. My mouth hung open as I tried to catch my breath, my heart racing a mile a minute and my skin feeling hotter than it had ever felt before. Jackson stilled once his release subsided and rolled off to lay beside me. I turned my head, watching his chest rise and fall as though he had just run a marathon. My hand found his and our fingers instantly laced together, Jackson gently squeezing my hand.
“Fuck, I have missed this,” Jackson said, still sounding breathless.
I smiled and watched him as he stared at the ceiling, “I have too.”
My eyes devoured every inch of the man next to me. Sure, we had only been apart for a week, but it felt much longer than that. I had been with Jackson for almost a year, but that didn’t mean that I ever got sick of looking at him. When my gaze settled upon the now fading bruises and cuts on his arm, my heart skipped a beat. The accident that Jackson was in instantly replayed in my head, the fear of losing him tore at my heart.
“Madeline, baby, why are you cryin’?” Jackson rolled onto his side and wiped at my cheek with his free hand. I hadn’t even realized I had actually started crying.
“You’re really here with me, Jack. You’re safe…you’re home,” I whispered, my cheek turning into his touch.
I watched as he nodded and gave me a shy smile, “I’m safe, honey. I will be by your side every day for the next week and a half. Whenever I don’t have a game or anythin’, I will be right here with you.”
“Thank god,” I sighed and snuck my arms around him, holding onto him tighter than I meant.
My Jackson was really home with me. In the meantime, I was terrified of the next three months of my pregnancy. Not just because I was pregnant and emotional all the time, but because I felt an otherworldly connection to my husband. Without him by my side through all of this, I didn’t know if I would make it out alive.
Chapter Twenty-Two
My due date was in two days and I was already over being pregnant. I was a beach ball with legs at this point. I knew that I was going to become even more round during my pregnancy, but no one prepared me for the uncomfortableness that was being pregnant in the summertime. The only positive side was that I could wear flipflops, so I didn’t have to feel bad about not being able to reach my feet. Luckily summer was prolonging itself this year, so November was warmer than usual. It only meant that winter this year was going to be a bitch.
A month ago, we had a huge baby shower that I felt was rather over the top. All of my girlfriends were invited as well as all the females in both mine and Jackson’s families. I was surprised when Jackson had even asked if I wanted to invite his friends’ wives who were at our wedding nearly a year ago. I hadn’t talked to many of them for more than a few minutes because of how many people were at our wedding that we had to talk to, but they all showed up with more than enough presents.
On the weeks that Jackson had home games, we prepared the nursery for Lydia’s arrival. Who knew that painting a room with someone could be so fun? The room was now decked out with pale pink walls and white furniture. Jackson insisted that we get an oversized stuffed puppy for her room which took up a full corner opposite of where the rocking chair sat. I had folded and refolded all of her onesies and organized the outfits hanging in the closet by season more than once. I was definitely getting anxious to meet our little girl.
I looked around the nursery one more time before shutting off the light and walking to the staircase. Taking them one at a time, which honestly killed me because I felt like I was moving as slow as molasses, I finally made it to the bottom of the stairs as Jackson was watching the Vikings game on the television. Waddling over to where he sat on the couch, I stopped in my tracks at a weird pressure that I began to feel. Then I felt the dampness that was currently saturating the sweatpants I had decided to wear today. Holy hell, my water just broke.
“Uh, Jack,” I called from where I stood in the doorway.
“Yeah, baby?” He answered without taking his eyes off the screen.
“We need to get to the hospital,” my voice cracked.
He jumped up and shut off the television before turning and looking at me, “Your water broke. Oh my god, she’s really comin’. We need to go.”
He ran over to me and kissed my lips gently. Embarrassed of even leaving the house like this, I asked Jackson to get a clean pair of sweatpants from the laundry room. He quickly went and fetched my clean pants and helped me into them before running to the mudroom to get my flip flops. Jackson held onto my hand as I slid them on and then led me out to the garage. Lifting me up into the truck, Jackson closed the door and jogged back into the house. He returned with my hospital bag and tossed it into the back of the cabin. Once he was behind the wheel, a contraction started to hit me, and I took a deep breath, attempting not to hold it.
“Breathe, Madeline. Take my hand. I’ll get us to the hospital in no time,” Jackson said in his most soothing voice and I took his hand as he offered it.
As the receptionist picked up her phone, Jackson returned back to my side coaching me on the breathing that we learned in birthing class. It was one thing to do it in class when you were all healthy and not in pain, it was another when you just wanted to scream out every swear word known in the English language. A nurse in pink scrubs showed up with a wheelchair and I felt much more relaxed once I was sitting. We were whisked off to the labor and delivery unit and the nurse told us that Dr. Oliver was notified and on his way. You’d think that would have calmed me a bit, but it didn’t.
Jackson helped me change into my hospital gown and get into my bed before I was hooked up to an IV. Machines were being turned on left and right and I had no idea what they were all for. When Dr. Oliver showed up, that was then the relief finally came about. Well that, and another contraction.
“How are you feeling, Madeline?” Dr. Oliver asked as he put on a pair of rubber gloves.
“You want the honest answer, or the sugar coated one?” I asked with my eyebrow raised high.
Dr. Oliver chuckled, “Honesty is the best policy.”
I gripped onto Jackson’s hand as another contraction had come along, we were still waiting for the approval to get the epidural. The nurses refused to give it to me until Dr. Oliver showed up and gave his opinion.
“I feel like my body is being ripped in two because a large human being is trying to make its way out of a not so large opening,” I said matter-of-factly.
Jackson pursed his lips to keep from laughing. Oh, at least someone found this fucking funny.
“That is usually how most wome
n feel. Let’s take a look and see how far along you are,” Dr. Oliver answered as he sat at the foot of my bed.
He instructed me to bend my legs and that there would be a little pressure. Yeah, a little pressure my ass. When the check was finally done, I sighed a breath of relief.
“You are actually at about six centimeters which is really quick because you said your water broke about an hour ago,” Dr. Oliver said as he stood up from his chair.
“Does that mean I can finally have my epidural? I’m dying here, Doc.”
He nodded and spoke quietly with one of the nurses before turning back to me, “Yes, Madeline. The nurse will get you all set up. I have a feeling that we will be seeing your newest addition sooner rather than later.”
Dr. Oliver said his goodbyes and soon the nurse was giving me my epidural. Twenty agonizing minutes later, and I started to feel so much more relief that I almost felt like crying of happiness. Jackson stood by me the entire time, letting me squeeze his hand as much as I wanted to. When his phone started ringing from his pocket, I almost lashed out at who the hell would be calling in the middle of my labor. Then again, we hadn’t exactly told anybody that I was in labor because it progressed so quickly.
Jackson took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen, “Mad, it’s your mom.”
I took a deep breath and silently nodded my head that he could answer it. He stepped outside to take the phone call.
“I’m amazed you haven’t blown up on him yet. Most women have already ripped their husbands a new one by six centimeters,” the nurse, Hannah, smiled from beside me as she tended to something on my IV pole.
“If I’m being honest, I can’t even bring myself to lash out at him. Sure, we both know that I wouldn’t actually mean whatever I said because of the pain. But that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt. I love Jackson very much and truth be told, I’m just happy that he’s as supportive as he is.”
Hannah put her hand on one of the bars of my bed, “He’s lucky to have you as a wife.”
I giggled for the first time in an hour and shook my head, “No, I’m lucky to have him as my husband.”
Jackson came back into the room, tucking his phone into his back pocket, “Okay, both sets of parents are notified about the labor. Do you want me to tell Alex you’re here?”
I thought for a moment. I had told her that when I went into labor, I would tell her. That was before I actually knew how fast my labor would progress and how much pain I would be in.
“No, Jack. We can tell her and O when the baby is born. Right now, I’m just happy that you are here,” I reached out for his hand.
He took my hand and laced our fingers together, bringing my hand to his lips, “Every step of the way, I will be here.”
Hannah excused herself and finally it was just me and my husband. I looked like a mess because I had been getting ready to turn in for the night. This pregnancy had made me far more tired than I had ever been before. The one thing that calmed me down was when Jackson would play with my hair, and it didn’t hurt to ask him if he would.
“Can I ask you a favor?” I questioned, looking up into his gorgeous caramel colored eyes.
“Anythin’, Mad. What do you need?”
“In my hospital bag, I have some hair ties tied around the handle of my hairbrush. Do you think you could braid my hair for me?”
This was something that I had discovered about Jackson very early on. Apparently he was very good at doing a woman’s hair. He had gotten suckered into helping Shelby with her hair when they were growing up. His mom showed him how to braid her hair and put it up for her. After their mother passed away, Jackson would braid Shelby’s hair for her just like their mother did. It was something that bonded them and now it was something that bonded us. Especially when I had been far too exhausted during this pregnancy to do anything with my hair.
“Of course,” Jackson didn’t even hesitate as he released my hand and sought out my hospital bag and hair ties.
He brushed his fingers through my hair before giving me some pigtail braids. His braids always turned out far better than anything I could do myself. Yes, there was a hint of jealousy in there. But then again, now that we were going to have a daughter, I knew that she would never have a bad hair day when Jackson was in charge of getting her ready.
When Dr. Oliver returned for another check, my hair was done, and I was far calmer than the first time he saw me that evening. After a little more pressure for yet another check on how I was progressing, he said it was finally time to push. He got up and crossed the room, getting all of his staff ready for the delivery. I looked up again at Jackson who hadn’t let go of my hand since he finished my hair.
“You’re doin’ great, Mad. Now you just gotta push then Lydia will be here,” he smiled before placing a gentle kiss against my lips.
“I wouldn’t have been able to get this far without you, Jack. Thank you for being so supportive and amazing,” I confessed.
“I love you, Madeline,” he whispered.
“And I love you, Jackson,” I smiled and kissed him again.
The doctor finally took his place and soon I was surrounded by other medical staff members. Jackson held up one of my legs for the doctor, his other hand holding onto mine. Hannah, the nurse that I had become friendly with, held my other leg and kept adjusting a cool washcloth on my forehead. Twenty minutes later, the sounds of Lydia’s screams filled the room and I finally felt like my life was complete.
“It’s a girl!” Dr. Oliver announced and soon Jackson was cutting the cord and our baby was being placed on a blanket on my chest.
Tears of joy spilled down my cheeks as I took in the chubby cheeks of my beautiful daughter. Jackson’s face lit up brighter than I had ever seen it before. We had a few minutes with her before the nurses took her away for evaluations and Dr. Oliver was having a hushed conversation with another doctor in the room. By the time they were finished talking and said it was time to deliver the placenta, I was feeling more lightheaded than I thought was normal.
“Jack…” I turned my head towards Jackson.
“It’s alright baby, it’s almost over,” he cooed, kissing my forehead.
“I don’t feel so good…” I said softly, my sentence being cut off quickly as my body finally gave into the blackness that loomed over me.
My eyes slowly opened, the soft sound of something beeping finally waking me up. How long had I been out? Where was everyone? Shit, where were my husband and daughter? I raised my hand and wiped it over my face, only for my hand to snag on an oxygen tube that was under my nose. Okay, seriously, was this a prank? Because that would not be a cool prank to play on a brand new mother.
The large door to my left opened and a figure appeared, the backlight too bright to determine who it actually was. Finally, they came closer and I could see Jackson, his hair standing up a little more than usual. It was his sign that he had been running his hands through his hair a lot. Was something the matter with Lydia?
“Jackson? Is Lydia okay?” I asked after softly clearing my throat that felt almost too dry.
“Oh, thank god. You’re awake,” he raced over to the bed and put his hand on my cheek.
My brows furrowed, “Of course I’m awake. I must have been really tired after pushing our baby out that I fell asleep.”
Jackson quietly laughed and shook his head, “That’s my girl, rationalizin’ like it’s nobody’s business.”
“What am I rationalizing? That’s what happened.”
“Mad, you didn’t fall asleep. Dr. Oliver said you lost a lot of blood durin’ the birth, that you started to hemorrhage and that’s what caused you to pass out. You were rushed into surgery to remove the placenta and stop the bleedin’.”
“Jack, I’m not finding this funny at all,” my heart pounded in my chest and tears stung my eyes.
“Shh,” Jackson whispered, kissing my lips carefully, “I’m not makin’ this up, darlin’. You were in surgery for awhile and had t
o get a blood transfusion. They were worried that you weren’t gonna make it. I was worried that you weren’t goin’ to make it.”
Now it was my turn to comfort my husband, “I’m right here, sweetheart. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
He gently took me into his arms and buried his face in my neck. I could feel his tears against my skin and I tried to hold myself together as I shushed him and rubbed his back. My lips pressed against the side of his head as I tried to comfort him as best as I could.
“Is Lydia alright, Jackson? She’s not in here with us…” my voice trailed off.
Jackson sat up and I wiped away his tears as he answered, “She’s perfect, Madeline. She looks so much like you.”
“Where is she?” I ran my hand through his hair, trying to tame the mess he had made.
“In the nursery. Dr. Oliver and some of the other physicians here wanted to make sure you were stable and awake before we brought her back in.”
“But she’s all alone in there,” I whispered.
Jackson took my hands in his, “I’ve been with her every second since you were rushed into surgery. Right now, she’s bein’ watched by the nurses so that I could come and check up on my wife.”
I looked at the way our hands fit so perfectly together, “Can I see our daughter? I only got that quick glimpse of her after she was born.”
Jackson leaned in and kissed the top of my head, “Definitely. Let me go get her and I’ll tell the nurses that you are awake as well.”
I smiled at him and watched as he left the room, a pep in his step that was not there before. As I waited for him to come back with our daughter, nurses and doctors flooded the room to check my vitals and ask me how I was feeling. How was I supposed to be feeling? The only feeling that I had was that I wanted to see my daughter. The little person that I carried around inside of me for nine months. After all of Dr. Oliver’s checks came up normal, he said he would send in Jackson and that he would be back in to check on me in a little while.