4 Truths That Can Change Your Life, Page 4

  Part 4: HONESTY

  What is that final truth that I want to share with you? We have spoken about wealth, passion and conditioning. This one is the most important truth for me personally. The 'Crème de la crème' of truths! And it is... HONESTY!

  I have done a bit of research in dictionaries, on the Internet and 'Wikipedia' has a great definition; “positive, virtuous attributes, including integrity and straightforwardness...” That's quite a lot of big words! It also refers to a honest person as someone that is not dishonest, that does not steal, or who is not a thief. At the end they say, “Honesty is the best Policy”. In fact William Shakespeare and Mark Twain were people that acknowledged this as well. If you look at today's world, “Is Honesty the best policy?” I think according to any lawyer... No! Honesty is not the best policy, but... insanity is a better defense! Ha, Ha... jokes aside, the world we live in is not so much about honesty anymore, it is about image, about pose, about creating an illusion, something false, in order to sell an end product.

  Even friendships... we try an make out as if we are wealthy and that we live in a big house and we have this good set of morals... but do we have them?” The whole world has changed so radically that it saddens me immensely. Hence honesty is the most important truth in my eyes. When you wake up, or go to sleep at night, do you do so content with who you are? This is the crux of the matter! Once you are content with who you are, only then can you start leading a fulfilling life. The conditioned society I spoke about previously has also added to the fact that we are dishonest with ourselves. To test this, stand in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and you say, “I am happy with whom or what I see”. If you cannot, then you've got to work on your honesty. There are four reasons why you have not been honest with yourself up until now.

  1. Fear of what everybody around you will think and do. You comfort zone! You are too comfortable with where you are now. Without a doubt this is one of the biggest factors holding you back.

  2. That damn comfort zone in everything you do today is a big problem. Basically as humans we become comfortable within a situation far to quickly, and then we don't want to change and try something new.

  3. Couple your comfort zone with a lack of knowledge and the 'Sheeple' in you comes to the fore! Lack of knowledge results in us not knowing any better. That is why I made conditioning the third truth, so that you start becoming aware and make the time to think about your life.

  4. Fear of failure is the biggest reason why people rather live in a live of illusions and deceit! The question most people fear is, “What happens if suddenly I am open and honest and I don't get accepted”! Don't make the mistake of thinking this acceptance refers only to people around you. Most people are afraid of themselves and coming to terms with the past. I have got news for you. If you cannot do this, then you will never learn the true meaning of honesty. You don't have to change overnight. I'm not saying from now... and in ten minutes time you must be a completely different person. Obviously that is crazy, but start with small steps. Start changing a few small things and build up from there. If you have that fear of being honest, it’s as if you cannot look at yourself in the mirror without feeling bad about who or what you see. To me that is far more frightening than being scared of what my friends will think. Be realistic about it... lack of knowledge, hey, that's why I am chatting to you. You are getting the knowledge. If I look at myself in the mirror and I am not happy with what I see, haven't I already failed? Surely that alone should motivate me to go and do something about it?

  Remember, if you are honest with yourself and everyone around you - you don't have to remember anything! I only found out recently that apparently it was Mark Twain that said this, and I' have followed this philosophy my whole life. If I am upfront and tell you how I feel and this is who I am and I am straight forward, I don't have to remember anything, because I am not deceiving anyone, especially not myself! Once you're honest with yourself, your life starts changing. Think of an iceberg! Don't you think that Icebergs are absolutely beautiful? I was fortunate that for many years I did expeditions in the Arctic and Antarctic and I will never forget seeing an iceberg for the first time, it was absolutely awesome! The different shapes, the way they float through the ocean, the height, the flatness, some have waterfalls, some look like little cities, it was absolutely awesome! I was blown away. Strangely enough, about two days later while was standing next to one of the lecturers on the expedition, he said to me, “You realize that is only one tenth of the iceberg that sticks out above the water.”

  Then I started thinking about life and how most of us try to show only one tenth of who we really are to the outside world. That which we are in control of! This is how we paint the image we want to portray to everyone out there. It's like a tenth of that iceberg. However, in the meantime nine tenths of who you really are is below the water. Isn't that the most beautiful, powerful and majestic part of that iceberg? Why are you hiding it from the rest of the world? Even more so, why are you hiding it from yourself? Be open and show that to everyone! Can you see that life will start being a lot more fun and have way more meaning? Be in control! Be honest enough to say, “Some things I will accept, some things I won't.” As soon as you open yourself up and show your entire being for whom you are, you become at peace with yourself.

  There's an interesting saying that goes, “If you tell a lie don't believe that it just deceives those outside your circle.” By telling a lie long enough, you deceive yourself as well. If you constantly lie, if you constantly show a false image to the people out there, after a while you start believing that is who you are! Come on! That's why I said, “Look in the mirror!” Can you look yourself in the eyes and say, “I'm happy with whom or what I see?” When you can do that, then your life starts having more meaning.

  The most powerful saying for me is, “A person's true character is revealed when now one else is watching.” Don't you think that's awesome? In other words the real you, only comes to the fore when you are alone - when no one else is looking! Are you a different person when you are alone, to when you're out there? I pride myself in the fact that as you see me now, you will always see me. Whether I'm on my own, my family or friends - this is who I am. It's not easy, it takes a lot of hard work, but... it makes a difference to YOUR life! I repeat... you don't have to remember lies; you don't have to remember pretences! You can just BE... and when you can just BE you've got a different energy streaming out of you. You attract different things to you. Be the same person when you are on your own as when you are out there, because only then can you lead an honest life.

  Can you imagine a world where we're all honest with each other? The world will literally change overnight. When you do become honest you make yourself vulnerable. I think it was Mother Theresa that said something along a similar vein of, “By being honest you open yourself up and you become vulnerable.” She was one of the most vulnerable women in the world, but she was also one of the most powerful women in the world. Look at what she did and what she left behind in this world! Simply because she was open and vulnerable! Makes you think, huh?

  Did you know that when you make yourself vulnerable, you become authentic?

  Seven months ago, from the day that I recoded this insight on video (6 June 2012) I had a heart attack. At the age of 48, I had a heart attack! Luckily I was at home and luckily my wife saw what was coming and got me to the hospital in time. I remember lying there with my wife and two daughters looking over me, with fear in their eyes. I was more worried about their fear than my fear. I survived! I had no muscle damage. My wife realized what was happening and I survived. Today I have two stents as a reminder to appreciate every moment in life. When I reflect back on the time I was lying in the hospital I had to ask myself, “Hang on, am I going to live or not, and if I do live, what am I going to change in my life?” This made me realize that I need to be more honest. You see! I was tolerating a lot of baggage in my life at the time. Are you the same?

  One of the first
things about being honest is being straightforward. Are you trying to be politically correct and polite because it is expected of you? I've got these friends, I don't call then friends, I call them...'energy vampires'. They come up to you with all their problems and they literally suck you dry. You know the type! (If you don't... it's you!) The first promise I made to myself after my heart attack was that I am going to be more straightforward! I'm going to get rid of all that excess baggage. The people that don't add value to my life, and please do not misunderstand me, I'm not saying I want you as a friend only if you can add value.

  Friendship is about giving and sharing, but it is not about giving 100% from your side only. I find that in life, many people just take, and I've decided that part of being honest is to get rid of all the takers. The soul takers that just take the whole time! Just simply saying, “Hang on, this is not working! Every time I say something to you, you don't listen anyway and you keep on sucking my energy dry. You're wasting my time! Either come right, or leave!” It's weird, when you give them that choice they all leave. Think about it, why are you reading this transcript? Because you want to learn, you want to change your life! You want to do something about it. There is a big difference between wanting to do something and actually doing it! If you want to find happiness, if you want to find truth and you really want to live the life you deserve to live, you've got to take that first step!