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Oh No, Newf!, Page 8

Tui T. Sutherland


  Yeti surged to his paws and blinked at me. He was standing right in the center of Mom and Dad’s bed.

  “WOOF,” he declared like, I claim this bed for the kingdom of Yeti.

  “Get off,” I said, climbing on the bed to grab his collar.

  Yeti was having none of that. As soon as I reached for him, he sprang off the bed, barreled right through Danny’s and Avery’s outstretched hands, and galloped away down the stairs.

  “You guys!” I cried. “Be more helpful!”

  “I’m sorry!” Danny sputtered.

  “We’ll get him!” Avery said, spinning to run downstairs.

  “AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  CRASH!

  “Uh-oh,” I said.

  “I think Ashley’s noticed the dog,” Avery said.

  CRASH! BAM BAM BAM! CRASH CRASH!

  “A BEAR!” Ashley screamed. “THERE’S A BEAR IN THE HOUSE! IT’S KNOCKING OVER THE ART! IT’S TEARING DOWN THE CURTAINS! MOM, I HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK!”

  We ran down the stairs just in time to see a black-and-white blur skid by on the Persian carpet and slalom into the living room. I jumped down the last couple of stairs and crashed into Ashley, running toward us from the kitchen.

  “Did you see that?” she said, panting. “There’s a giant beast in the house! I don’t know how it got in!”

  “Me neither!” said Danny from behind me.

  “Never seen it before,” Avery added quickly.

  “That’s so weird,” Danny said, looking innocent.

  “It is not a giant beast,” I said, giving the boys a dirty look. “That’s my dog.”

  “Your —” Ashley’s mouth opened and closed, but no sounds came out.

  CRASH!

  “Don’t just stand there!” I shouted at Danny and Avery. “Go through the kitchen and chase him back this way!”

  They ran off through the den into the kitchen. Our house loops around the central staircase, with the den and the kitchen and the garage on one side and the living room, sala, and office on the other side. I ran into the living room, hoping we could corner Yeti if we came at him from either side.

  The first thing I saw was that the sala door was still closed, which made me breathe a sigh of relief. All the fanciest, most expensive stuff is in there, with the piano, where I can’t do it any harm. But the living room also has a lot of horribly fragile stuff, and my heart sank as I saw tiny green-and-gold fragments of something scattered across the thick white rug.

  Yeti was sitting on the couch, blinking sweetly and looking as if he really had no idea why there were shattered pieces of a porcelain vase all over the floor. I recognized that vase. I’d been tiptoeing around it ever since Mom bought it at one of those upscale flea markets she always goes to. It used to sit on a side table next to the couch. Now … not so much.

  If you ask me, it wasn’t a very pretty vase anyway. But I had a feeling Mom might not see it that way.

  Yeti buried his nose in the pale green throw pillows and started rolling. He flopped onto his side and gave me a look that said Come on! Come play with me! I call this game Wet Dog on a White Couch! So much fun!

  “It is a dog!” Ashley said in a hushed voice behind me. “Do your parents know about this?”

  “Uh … not exactly,” I said. “I mean, not yet. But they will! I just have to introduce them the right way.”

  “Well, you’re off to a great start,” Ashley said, rolling her eyes.

  Danny tiptoed out of the kitchen and started to sneak up behind the couch. I moved slowly forward, reaching out to the dog.

  “Hey, Yeti,” I said, trying really hard to sound calm. “Hey, good boy. Don’t you want to go back outside? Wouldn’t that be a great idea? Yes, you do, I know you do, good boy.” He was still flopped over, watching me sideways, and his tail was thumping against the arm of the couch.

  As I took a step closer, he grabbed the forest green chenille blanket from the back of the couch in his jaws and yanked it over on top of him. With a delighted grrrruff he started shaking it and digging into it with his paws. I flinched as his claws snagged on the delicate loops of wool.

  “AHA!” Danny yelled suddenly, hurtling over the back of the couch. But as he jumped, his foot slipped on the rug. Also, the triumphant yell kind of gave him away. By the time he landed on the couch, Yeti had launched himself off the cushions and was running around the room barking. His tail swished dangerously close to several expensively framed photos of my family in exotic places.

  “WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!” Yeti barked delightedly.

  “Stop him!” Ashley shrieked. “The curtains!” Our living room curtains are long and drape elegantly all the way to the floor, which makes them really easy to get tangled up in, as I happen to know from personal experience.

  Danny threw himself off the couch and tried to block the way to the curtains. I ran around the other side of the couch, but Yeti was already galloping to the kitchen door. He knocked over a chair and then skidded to a stop as Avery burst out of the kitchen. With another woof of excitement, Yeti whipped around and dashed back toward Ashley.

  “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” she shrieked. Her blue hair was practically standing on end. She covered her eyes with her hands. “It’s the Hound of the bloody Baskervilles!”

  “He won’t hurt you!” I cried, but Ashley had already flung herself to the floor. Yeti bounded right over her and out of the room. I could hear his massive paws pounding up the stairs again.

  “That dog is insane,” Danny panted, flopping against the arm of the couch.

  “He’s just excited!” I said. “He probably thinks this is a wonderful game. Maybe nobody’s ever played with him before.”

  I looked around at the catastrophe Yeti had left behind. This would take forever to clean up … plus I’d have to explain how so many things got broken. I hadn’t even seen what he’d done in the kitchen and den yet. “Danny, give me another treat,” I said. “I’ll go get him.”

  “You’re lucky your parents won’t be home for a while,” Ashley said, patting her forehead with her sleeve. “Oh, Heidi, this is chaos.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, taking a biscuit from Danny’s outstretched hand. “I’ll clean it up, I pro —”

  Slam.

  We all jumped. Was that a car door?

  “That didn’t come from upstairs,” said Avery.

  “That came from outside,” said Danny. He looked terrified.

  “I’m sure it’s just the pizza,” I said. My heart was pounding. “Right, Ashley?”

  Ashley was peeking out the curtains of the living room. Her face went pale.

  “It’s your parents,” she said. “They’re home early!”

  We’re dead!” Danny yelled. “They’re going to kill us!”

  “We have to hide Yeti!” I said frantically.

  “And me!” Avery said. “They’ll tell my mom! She’ll ground me forever! Hide me!”

  “Me too!” Danny said. They both looked around like they were thinking about diving under the couch.

  “Quick, upstairs!” I said. The boys both ran past me and charged up the stairs. I glanced out the window beside Ashley and saw my parents hurrying up the walk to the front door. They’d left the car in the driveway — so maybe they were only coming back to get something. Maybe they’d leave again without noticing the mess.

  Yeah, and maybe pink schnauzers would fly out of my ears.

  “Please don’t tell them about Yeti!” I said to Ashley. “I want to tell them myself, I promise I will, just not yet. Just distract them until they go away!”

  “Heidi!” Ashley cried. “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “I don’t know! Tell them the broken stuff is my fault! They’ll believe that.” I turned and ran up the stairs. I threw myself into my bedroom just as I heard the keys turn in the front door.

  “Why, helloooo!” Ashley blurted in a too-loud, too-cheerful voice. “Fancy seeing you home so ea
rly!”

  I closed my door behind me. Danny was running around my room looking for a place to hide. Avery had buried his head in his hands. Yeti was the only one who looked calm. He was sprawled across my bed with an extremely contented expression.

  “Yeti, come!” I said. He jumped off the bed and trotted over to me, wagging his tail. I hooked my fingers in his collar and led him over to the closet, hoping I could hide him in there.

  But the closet was full of boxes of my old toys and piles of clothes and shoes. There was no way Yeti would fit in there as well. And neither would the boys.

  “Heidi?” I heard my mom’s voice call from downstairs. Danny gave me a panicked look.

  “Under the bed!” I said. “Both of you! Quick!”

  “I’m not hiding under there with him!” Avery protested.

  “Yeah, same!” Danny agreed.

  “Fine, then you can explain to my mom what you’re doing here with this dog!” I said, exasperated.

  They dove to the floor and scrambled under the bed. Yeti leaned against my hand and looked up at me trustingly.

  “I’m sorry, Yeti,” I said. “But we have to hide you somewhere.” I looked around, my heart pounding. There was only one option.

  I threw open the chest and flung everything out of it onto the floor. Stuffed dogs bounced and rolled across the carpet. Yellow rain boots landed on striped sweaters. I discovered that I had way more socks with no matches than I’d realized. I heaved the last pile of shirts out of the bottom and pointed to the chest.

  “Yeti, in!” I said. The dog stared at the trunk, then looked at me like, You can’t be serious.

  Thump thump thump. Footsteps on the stairs!

  I waved the biscuit in Yeti’s face. “Quick!” I said. “Get in!”

  He looked at the chest doubtfully, and then he shook himself so all his fur fluffed out and jumped right in. I gave him the biscuit and he flopped down. Quickly I stuffed a couple of shirts along the top edge to leave a gap. I closed the lid and leaped onto my bed just as my door flew open.

  “Heidi?” my dad said. “What’s going on? Did I hear voices in here?”

  “Nope,” I said. I nearly had a heart attack as I spotted the bottom of Danny’s foot sticking out from under my bed. Dad was looking around the room with a confused expression. Carefully I sidled sideways and kicked Danny’s foot. It vanished quickly.

  “What are you guys doing home?” I said. “Wasn’t the party fun? Do you need to go back? You probably need to hurry back, well, it was great to see you, have fun —”

  “We came back to find those bowls for the raffle,” Dad said. “I really thought I heard something….”

  “Did you check the garage?” I said quickly. “Maybe you should check there again. Maybe behind something. Maybe you just missed it. I bet that’s it.”

  “That’s where your mom is looking,” Dad said. Hope flooded through me. If Mom was in the garage, maybe she wouldn’t even come back inside — maybe she wouldn’t see the mess —

  Ooorrrrroooorrrrrrorrooorrooo.

  A muffled whimper came from the chest.

  Dad blinked. And blinked some more. “Did you —”

  “Ooooooorrrrroooooo,” I said, clutching my stomach. “Did you hear that? Man, I am so hungry.”

  “HEIDI!” my mom bellowed from downstairs. “GET DOWN HERE THIS MINUTE!”

  Uh-oh. I was definitely in trouble now. On the other hand, at least it would get Dad out of my room.

  But just as I stood up, the worst possible thing happened.

  The doorbell rang.

  Ding-dong!

  Immediately the chest went, “ROWRF ROWRF ROWRF ROWRF ROWRF!”

  If it hadn’t been so terrible, I would have laughed at the expression on my dad’s face. He looked as surprised as if a giraffe had just poked its head out of my closet.

  “Um,” I said. “I can explain.”

  My mom must have flown up the stairs. She was standing behind my dad a heartbeat later. “Did I just hear what I think I heard?” she demanded.

  Downstairs I heard Ashley open the door and pay the pizza guy. Of course it was my luck that he’d shown up at exactly the wrong time.

  “Heidi,” my dad said really slowly. “Is there a dog in this room?”

  “ROWRF!” the chest announced cheerfully. My mom widened her eyes at it in horror.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. I lifted the lid of the chest and Yeti sat up, beaming all over his sweet shaggy face. “Mom, Dad — this is Yeti.”

  “Oh my,” my mom said faintly. “That … is a very big dog.”

  “He’s a Newfoundland,” I said. “Isn’t he wonderful? He’s really very good, I swear! He didn’t mean to break your green vase.”

  Mom pressed her hands to her heart. “He broke my green vase?”

  Whoops. I guess she hadn’t made it into the living room yet.

  “It was my fault,” I said. My words tumbled over each other. “I just wanted to give him a bath because he was so sad and I thought you would like him better if he was clean but he got away from me and he didn’t mean to be bad, he really didn’t! He’s a good dog — he just doesn’t know how big he is! It was an accident! He doesn’t mean to make a mess. He just wants to be loved. Look how sweet and good he is.” I knelt beside Yeti and wrapped my arms around his furry chest. “He’s just bigger than he realizes. He wants to be good, he really does.”

  “Sounds like someone else we know,” Dad said, giving my mom a meaningful look.

  Yeti went hrrruff like he was agreeing with me. He put his front paws up on the side of the chest and hopped over onto the floor. Wagging his tail, he trotted over to my parents to sniff them.

  “Oh, no you don’t,” Mom said, backing up and flapping her silver purse at him. I hurried over and grabbed his collar before he could shed on their nice clothes.

  “Where did he come from?” Dad asked.

  “I found him,” I said. “He was lost and all alone, Dad. He was so sad. He didn’t have a collar or anything.”

  “You found him?” Dad echoed. “You don’t know who he belongs to or anything?”

  “Arthur, we have to get back to the gala,” Mom said. “We’ll deal with this later.”

  “Did you find the bowls?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she said. “They were in the garage, right where I said they were.”

  “Really?” Dad scratched his head, and I felt a pang of guilt. I had to tell the truth. It was better to confess everything all at once.

  “Um,” I said. “That was my fault, too. I maybe … borrowed them. For a little while.”

  Mom looked at Yeti, closed her eyes, and put one hand on her forehead. “I don’t want to know, do I?” she said.

  “I knew they weren’t there before,” Dad said. “Thanks for being honest, Heidi. I thought I was losing my mind.”

  “We’ll talk to you about this when we get home,” Mom said, waving her purse at me. “This is very serious, young lady. I don’t know what you were thinking.”

  “I know,” I said. “I promise I’ll clean up while you’re gone. I’ll put new sheets on your bed and everything.”

  Mom closed her eyes again like the world was too much for her. “It … was on our bed?”

  Oops. “Only for a minute,” I said. “Don’t worry, it was after his bath so he was very clean and only a little wet. By the time you get back, everything will be all cleaned up. I promise.”

  Yeti wagged his tail.

  “A dog,” Mom muttered as she started back down the stairs.

  “I told you this would happen eventually,” Dad said, following her.

  I held my breath until the front door closed behind them.

  I couldn’t believe it! I guess I’d half expected Mom and Dad to throw Yeti right back out on the streets. At the very least I thought there would be yelling. Well, maybe there’d be yelling later. But for now, I didn’t have to stuff Yeti back in Avery’s shed. He could stay with me until Mom and Dad came home.
r />   I ruffled his fur. “That wasn’t so terrible,” I said to Yeti. “No thanks to you and your awesome powers of destruction. Maybe we still have a chance.”

  “QUIT SHOVING!” Avery hollered from under the bed.

  “You quit shoving!” Danny grumbled back.

  They wriggled out from either side of the bed.

  “I thought your mom would be way more mad,” Avery said as he got to his feet.

  “So did I!” I said. “Maybe she didn’t see everything he did.”

  “You know, I thought my house was crazy,” Danny said, “but this place is nuts.”

  I gave them both a big smile. “So … who wants pizza?”

  “Me!” Danny said.

  Avery frowned. “I know that look. This is a trick.”

  “It’s not a trick,” I said. “More like … a bribe. Free pizza — if you stay and help clean up.” I tried flapping my eyelashes at them the way Tara and Natasha do when they want something. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  “All right,” Danny said. “I can do that.”

  Avery sighed heavily. “Fine. But only because of the pizza.”

  Danny and Avery were about as useful at cleaning as they were at catching Yeti. Ashley and I did most of the work while they ate pizza and made rude comments at each other and patted the dog. But I thought the house was looking pretty presentable by the time they left. You’d never know a furry hurricane had blown through.

  I walked Yeti outside while Danny got his bike. Avery kicked a stone up and down my driveway until Yeti pounced on it and I had to take it away so he wouldn’t eat it.

  “Thanks for your help,” I said as Danny wheeled his bike toward the street. “And the dog food and leash and stuff.”

  “Sure,” he said, fiddling with his bike chain. “Hey, if you want to bring Yeti to the park tomorrow, I’ll probably be there with Rosie and Buttons.”

  “That would be so awesome!” I said. “I guess it depends on whether I still have Yeti tomorrow. I don’t know what my parents are going to say.”

  “They’ll definitely say no,” Avery said, kicking the grass beside the driveway.

  “Nice. Thinking positive,” I joked, but inside I was pretty worried. “Thanks for your help, too, Avery.”