DIchotomies: Poetry From Bipolar Disorder
Tony Karas
Contents
A Brave Little Craft6
A Brief Respite Outside Of Time7
A Ghost Who Drifts Among The World7
A New Day Dawns8
A Wanderer8
A World Without Hope9
Above The Mountains I Soar10
Adrift On A Timeless Sea11
After The Rain The Storm Is Spent12
All Between Your Ears12
Alone In The Darkness13
An Angel Came To Me One Day14
Are You Real?14
Conception's Debt15
Conflagration15
Cry Me No More Tears16
Dark The Fate16
Dawning16
Dialing It Up, Dialing It Down17
Dreams And Time17
Echoes Of Silence18
End Of Days18
Eternal Bed19
Eternity19
Evil Little Whispers20
For Today I Will Experience Life20
Few Understand21
Forever Memories21
Freedom Ahead22
Heart Shredded By Razors Of Tears22
Friends23
Gentle Raindrops24
Haiku - Rejection24
Haiku - Conflict24
Have You Ever?25
Heaven Can Wait27
Human Family - Butterfly Cinquain27
High Atop A Crumbling Peak28
Homeless Birds29
Hope30
I Am The Void And The Void Is Me31
I Am Trying To Be A Happier Soul32
I Need....33
I Once Was Sane33
I Sing A Good Song34
I Speak In Code35
I'm On Top Of The World35
Illusion36
I'm Sorry36
In My Darkened Sky36
In A Land Of Darkness Am I Lost37
Insanity38
Joy38
Into The Wind39
Isolation40
It Doesn't Work Anymore41
Just Going Along41
It Is The Cycle Of BP, It Is Your Life42
I've Fought It Before, I'll Fight It Again43
Just One Tiny Clue44
Life Passing By44
Life45
Life Is46
Lost In Time, Lost In Space47
Masks47
Meltdown48
My Walls48
My Life49
My Mind's Meanderings50
My World, My Life51
Mythology Fulfilled52
No Peace For Me Will There Ever Be53
Normalcy54
Out Of Space And Out Of Time54
Normalcy - A Gift From God55
Oh It's A Beautiful Day56
Once I Wandered A Land57
One Day At A Time58
One Single Black Grain59
One Way Glass59
Pain Is Life60
Poetry62
Puffy White Cotton62
Raindrops63
Reach Out And Grab A Star63
Shifting Rules63
Short Circuit64
Silence64
Sometimes You Just Need To Bleed65
Spring65
Swirling Mists Of Illusion66
Take Me Away, Way Over The Moon66
Tears Of Joy67
Thank You God For This Day68
Thank You Lord For These Days69
The Battle Rages Within70
The Beast71
The Beast And The Heart72
The Beast He Is Me73
The Blending Of The Days74
The Blossom Failing (Haiku)75
The Debt Is Mine To Pay75
The Cheshire Cat76
The Dying Of The Light77
The Darkness Within Me78
The Elevator79
The Eternal Battle80
The Eyes In The Mirror80
The Fog81
The Invisible Man81
The Geometry Of The Cycles82
The Hand Of The Fates83
The Land Of The Lost83
The Light At The End Of The Storm85
The Light's Last Fading86
The Maelstrom87
The Man Who Lived In Layers88
The Maze89
The Night Is Dark And Full of Terrors89
The Pane Of Glass That Separates90
The Passing Of The Light91
The Paths We Tread92
The Peace Of A Bee93
The Pit94
The Real, True Power95
The Redoubt96
The Shadows Have Voices96
The Return Of The Light97
The Storm98
The Story The Bards Do Tell99
The Sun Peaks Out99
The Stranger In The Mirror100
The Tide101
The Wings Of Time101
The Unquiet Mind102
The Vortex103
The Walls Keep On Growing103
The Wheel104
The World Tipped And I Fell Off105
Then He Sat Back And Laughed106
There To Peruse The Lands Of Oz Once Again107
There Will Be Not A Trace108
This Moment In Time108
This Time I Made It109
Thoughts110
Through A Glass Darkly111
Through A Raindrop Filtered112
Today Will Remain Ever The Same113
Tonight May God Grant Me Some Sleep114
Treasured Days115
Truthful Honesty At Least In Part115
Wander The Silvery Magical Ethereal Way116
Weeping Heavens - A Quinzane116
When Evil Beastie's Head First Reared117
When My Hearts Stops It's Beating At Last118
Where Have You Gone119
Where Once Upon A Morn So Dreary120
Whispers Of Madness120
Who Am I120
Where There Once Was Dark121
Who Am I? Where Have I Gone?122
Wired123
Yeah....123
You Don't Know...124
You Prayed For Help125
A Brave Little Craft
I'm riding a boat in a wild torrent
A tiny little boat, a valiant craft
It's inundated with waves
From it's very fore to it's aft
Totally adrift, at the sea's mercy
No oars or rudder with which to steer
No way to keep steerage, no way at all
It's fate in the hands of God I fear
Little craft against the waves
I cry out like a little child
Stop it now. Stop it please
Little craft, adrift in the wild
Rocking, rocking, it's always rocking
To and fro, up and down, all around
I keep looking for landfall anywhere
Looking for it but it's not to be found
The little boat never does stop
No rest for it is to be found
It just keeps shaking, quaking
And rocking all around and round
Up one wave, o'er the bow it breaks
Down the next, down always down
First sliding then running
Down it goes, it can't be found
Faithful little boat never gives up
Riding the waves barely staying afloat
It keeps beating the elements
Keeps winning does this tiny boat
Hooray for this brave little craft
&nbs
p; For without it I'd be dead in the sea
There is no one to provide rescue
So in the end I'm left with just me
A Brief Respite Outside Of Time
Adrift inside the world tonight
A shadow untouched by the light
Separated from discord and unity
Outside of the human community
Deep melancholy peace pervades
Hollow ache weakened o'er decades
All color right now has gone away
Perception bathed in shades of gray
Night's phantoms faintly calling
Foreign thoughts so enthralling
Alone with the self in the dark
Gently nursing the fading spark
A brief respite outside of time
Renews the soul, serene, sublime
A Ghost Who Drifts Among The World
A ghost who drifts among the world
Control inside an iron fist is curled
Stressed and cracked and now eroding
Endless struggle to prevent imploding
In silence screaming to all and none
Lost and wandering until life is done
Not one other permitted ever to see
There's nothing left, there is no me
A New Day Dawns
The sun at last has risen
A golden orb in the East
Magical rays bathing all
A sight for eyes to feast
Cloudless cyan blue sky
Set aglow by golden light
Endless expanse of magic
All the world now so bright
Evil darkness gone at last
Vanquished by mighty sun
It may be just one day
I'll take each and every one
Gloria from on high above
All awash in golden rays
The dark is ever creeping
For now sun fills the days
A Wanderer
A wanderer in an empty world
Deep shadows over all unfurled
Lost and lonely circles of light
Feebly try to push back the night
The stars still twinkle way up high
Among the trees the winds still sigh
On sandy shores waves still roll
Amid the normalcy one lost soul
Amid the darkness thoughts swirled
Endlessly he wanders an empty world
A World Without Hope
So dark and dreary
Not one ray of light
No not even nearly
Not a possibility one
To be found in the land
For without any hope
Live is ever so bland
Good things just will not come
Better days will never be found
If you cannot hope for them
They will never come round
Hope is belief in better things
It is trusting it won't always be bad
It is believing that it will improve
It is knowing you won't always be sad
So give yourself hope for another day
All you must do is to believe
Or the sadness that weighs on your soul today
Will never end, it will never leave
May the good Lord grant me this prayer
A day without hope may I never face
It is an integral part of what I am
A poor member of the human race
Above The Mountains I Soar
I'm running oh so high
When I'm high I'm fast
That's when I feel good
The die has been cast
My thoughts spin so fast
Round and round and again
Remembering everywhere
That I've ever once been
They're spinning away now
Flying this way, that way
I don't know what to do
Or what I should say
Sleep is one thing
That I don't need
When I'm going this way
Running with speed
Good thing too because
It's something I'll not get
When I'm flying this high
I will lay you a bet
The sky's the limit
And the world's my own
There's nothing for which
I think I must atone
Riding hypomanic winds
Above the mountains I soar
It's a joy and a wonder
And it's never a bore
Someday it will end
And to earth I'll return
But for now I'll soar
Like a rocket I'll burn
Adrift On A Timeless Sea
The waves lap gently at the sides
The tiny splash of their passing
Almost unnoticed among the eons
The sails flap ever so lazily
Stirred but slightly by the mild breeze
The wake barely trails us as we drift
so calmly upon this ageless sea
Time passes us but we do not pass it
It stretches out forever both fore and aft.
Having come from nowhere
Taking forever getting from there to here
We have no place to go
And we're in no rush to get there
We have forever to arrive there
We are adrift on an timeless sea
The days pass endlessly
Never the same but ever changing
Always the quiet lap of the waves
The same gently stirring breeze
The hypnotic ripple of our tiny wake
Horizons never changing
Yet never standing still
The sea carries us but we go nowhere
Someday we may arrive there
We pass onward, ever onward
Going nowhere with no undue haste
Slowly, inexorably we pass into the sunset
To glide our way out of the sunrise on the morrow,
the ever unchanging tomorrow
We await the storm, the one we're sure will come
The inestimable fury, the waves lashing at us,
The winds making the sails crack as they whip
Our wake will be lengthened, we'll gather speed
With all haste we will head for home
Across the ageless expanse of the timeless sea
After The Rain The Storm Is Spent
After the rain the storm is spent
Roiling clouds are by rainbows rent
Golden sunbeams their warmth bestow
On raindrop dampened earth below
Once wind whipped air now quiescent
The musty dampness so evanescent
Mother Earth's face washed clean anew
Life refreshed beneath skies now blue
All Between Your Ears
A mind is a traitorous thing
Filled with foreign thoughts
that you know are not your own
Two halves perpetually at war
Each hating the other unto death
Violent confrontation
Unyielding hatred
Despair and self loathing
Suicidal ideations
Twisting, turning
Never resting
Never pausing
Eternally unquiet
All between your ears
Alone In The Darkness
Alone in the darkness, can't you see?
There's nothing left inside of me
I shout and I scream, there's nothing here
Cause the darkness is all, that's what I fear
The shouts echo and rebound all around
There's nothing here, naught to be found
Through the window life is out there
Here I sit lost, alone and nowhere
Give me but a taste of that life
Without the darkness full of strife
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br /> Feel the hatred, the sorrow and pain
Taste the tears that pour down like rain
While all the world passes me by
I sit here alone, my eye's aren't dry
The loneliness is worse it comes from within
There is life all around, if I could only get in
Walls of my making, they're walls of thick steel
Walling me off so I don't have to feel
But they work two ways those walls of mine
Of life and laughter they give no sign
Only darkness and death await me here
But don't you worry, shed not a tear
For I built these walls a long time ago
And of my despair I'll try not to show
Alone in the darkness, can't you see?
This loneliness is all caused by me
An Angel Came To Me One Day
An angel came to me one day
In self pity I pushed him away
He returned with a mighty host
Too late for I was now a ghost
Hold my hand he pleaded with me
I bring caring hearts for thee
Darkness ruled, I could not accept
Leave me alone in hot tears I wept
Self pity does my soul corrupt
From agony does madness erupt
Leave me alone, no love I deserve
From an icy cold grave never swerve
Few friends perhaps did truly care
I cut them all out in deep despair
Earned what I got 'tis really true
By what right do I this end rue?
Are You Real?
Are you real?
Do you feel?
The emptiness?
God won't bless
A heart of stone
That's all alone
In this world
Pain unfurled
Hear the voice
Just no choice
Conception's Debt
Lost in time, lost in space
Never one of the human race
Here today but gone tomorrow
Never let there be any sorrow
At conception each owes a death
A moment comes the end of breath
I hear it counts not how one dies
How you live is what wins the prize
If forever you've been dead inside
Dying's nothing from which to hide
