Kian

  I burst out laughing and grabbed on to Jake’s arm. “No, no. Fucking hell. I meant to say, ‘Fucking hell.’ Not Keetan. But you know that was all to piss you off back then, right?”

  He started chuckling with me. “I know. He had a thing for Tara during our freshman year.”

  He got out of the car and resumed as we approached my front door, “To be honest, I think he’s the one who screwed us up.”

  I unlocked the door, and we headed for the elevator. “What do you mean?”

  Jake leaned against the wall as I hit the button.

  He folded his arms and shrugged. “I think Keetan asked Tara out. When she told him about us, he told her about you and me. That was why she suddenly wanted to get back together. That’s my guess anyway.”

  The elevator arrived, and we waited until we got to my floor. As we walked to my apartment, I couldn’t shake the feeling of comfort. We seemed like actual friends. When I unlocked my door and we went in, I started grinning. I couldn’t stop.

  “What’s that look for?” Jake helped himself to the refrigerator and grabbed a water. “That’s when I should’ve listened to my instincts, you know.”

  I tossed my bag and keys onto the table. “How so?”

  “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go. I was dumb back then.”

  My eyebrows arched up. “That was seven months ago.”

  He slid into a chair across from me. “Yeah, I was a whole other person back then. I thought I was God’s gift to women.” He tipped his water to me. “Thought I could let you go and get you back with the snap of my fingers.”

  I frowned. “That’s…mildly insulting.”

  He waved that off and winked. “Don’t be. I’m the one with a good kick to my ego. I don’t know who the other guy is, but he’s an idiot. He shouldn’t let you go. You’re going to get snapped up by some guy.” He patted himself on the chest. “I’m not that lucky.”

  “Shut up.” But I was grinning. It felt nice, hearing all of this, even though I knew it was smoke going up my ass. “You’re the one who’s going to be back with Tara by the end of the month.”

  “No.” He scowled and shook his head. “No way.”

  “That’s my prediction. I’m just smart, knowing to get out of the way of your epic love story with her.”

  “No, no, no.” He kept shaking his head. “That will never happen. Never again.”

  “Never again, Jordan.” Kian’s voice sounded in my head.

  He was standing beside Edmund, and he paused, saying those words to me, before he gripped the knife tighter. I knew he was going to do it. I saw it. I felt it. I had a moment to stop him. I could. I knew it. I couldn’t explain how I knew it, but he would stop if I’d utter just one word. I didn’t, and he didn’t. I closed my eyes now, jerking in my chair, as Kian’s arm moved in one smooth motion, slicing Edmund’s throat. It’d happened so quickly, not even in the blink of an eye. It had been faster. Then, it was done. Edmund stood there with a confused look in his eyes. It was like he didn’t realize what had happened. He hadn’t felt it then. One more second, and then he did. I saw the pain fill his eyes. His hands lifted to his throat. He made one gurgling sound, and then he fell to his knees.

  He crumbled to the floor after that.

  “Yo, earth to Jo. Come in, Jo.”

  I shook my head, shoving the memory away. Jake snapped his fingers in front of my face and waved his hand up and down.

  “Hello in there.” He gently tapped the side of my head with his knuckles. “Knock, knock.”

  I shoved his hand away but grinned slightly. “Who’s there?”

  “Uh…” He narrowed his eyes at me in another flirty manner. “Some perv who wants to get in your pants.”

  I groaned, getting up to grab a water bottle. “You have a healthy sense of realism, player, and confidence. You know that?”

  “Like you said,” A second wink at me, “I’m a realist. I might not be in the front, but I’m right behind whoever the guy is. I’m going to be hot on his heels for as long as you’ll let me.”

  “I was just thinking that we were actual friends when we were coming down the hallway.”

  “Coming, huh?” A sly smile spread over his face. “I can make you do a different form of coming, if you get my drift?”

  “I do, and it’s not going to happen.”

  The light banter between us vanished.

  Jake leaned forward, his eyebrows bunching together, and an intense expression flitted across his features. “Jokes aside, I think we should make a pact, hold each other accountable about our exes.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You said it yourself. We’re both trying to forget someone else. Let’s help each other out.”

  I cocked my head to the side. It sounded okay, but I bit down on my lip. Something about it didn’t seem right to me. “I don’t know.”

  He winced. “Tara’s like my Achilles’ heel. She’s a smoking habit that won’t go away. I need help to kick my addiction, and it sounds like you need the same thing.”

  “Jake…”

  “Think about it. Just think about it. No lies. No hiding or avoiding. A hundred percent honesty between us. If we feel like talking to the ex, we call each other instead. We help each other to get the other person out of our heads. There’s a big part of me that doesn’t even want to see her or talk to her. I start remembering the years, the sex…you know how it is.”

  I didn’t. Bringing my water bottle up, I pressed it against my head. Maybe the condensation would clear my thoughts because he was starting to make sense to me.

  “I don’t know, Jake.”

  “Okay.” He shoved back his chair and held his hand up. His little finger was extended to me. “Pinkie swear. If we start dealing with our people, we tell the other. That’s the only way this is going to work. You need help, too. You wouldn’t have come to see me today if you didn’t.”

  My gaze jumped to his, and I saw the knowing look there.

  He lowered his hand. “It didn’t take a genius to know you were running from some dude today. You never drop by. You never even did that when we were actually dating before. And you don’t skip out on Erica. You’re a good friend. You’re loyal. You never lie either, Jo.”

  Oh, boy. He was so wrong.

  His hand extended to me again, his little pinkie just waiting to be shook. “Come on. What do you say?”

  I had no idea what this was going to entail. “This is the worst idea in the world.” I reached up and wrapped my pinkie around his, and we shook.

  His smile grew. “Let’s kick these bitches together.”

  I scowled.

  Jake and I were hanging out until my phone started going off. I had it on the side table beside me since we were in the living room and grabbed for it, not wanting to think about him. I hesitated before picking it up. Was I ready to get a text from him? My stomach double-knotted and then lurched to the bottom of my throat.

  Here goes.

  I picked it up and looked at the screen.

  Wanker’s name was lighting it up.

  I frowned and then answered, “Wanker? What’s up?”

  A burst of loud music came from his end as he shouted into the phone, “I need backup!”

  Ice plunged through my veins. I jerked upright on the couch and pressed the phone tight against my ear. “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s Erica.” The loud music faded abruptly, and his voice grew clearer. “She called me hours ago. She was already at Sids, and she’s going crazy. I’ve never seen her this upset.”

  “Oh, no.”

  His voice gentled. “She’s not even making sense anymore. Something happened at the interview today.”

  “This is all my fault.”

  “What? She didn’t say anything about you.”

  My head went back up. “Say what?”

  “She’s upset about Susan.”

  “She didn’t say anything about me?” I needed to make sure. “Like, not a peep about me?
”

  “She said something about a panic attack, and she felt bad, but that was it. She’s been ranting and raving about Susan. I’ve never seen this side of her. Jo, I’m concerned. She goes from laughing hysterically to almost crying to planning Susan’s murder. I don’t know exactly what Susan did to her, but this isn’t the normal Erica or even the normal pissed-off Erica. Can you come and help?”

  I gestured at Jake and then to the door. “Yeah, I’m coming. You’re at Sids?”

  “We’re in the back left corner by the big booths. I got her back there since she was yelling. I figured she could go nuts there. It’s more private, you know.” He let out a sigh. “I have to head back. I went into a closet, so I could call you.”

  “Okay.” I grabbed my bag and keys.

  Jake had already gone out the door and was waiting for me.

  “We’re on our way.”

  Right before I hung up, Wanker said, “We?”

  Hanging up, I shut the door and locked it. I said to Jake, “Susan did something to screw Erica over. We have to go and calm her down.”

  “I’ll drop you off. If she sees me, she might get all vengeful. We both know she’s not a big fan of mine.”

  I didn’t think Erica cared about Jake much anymore, but I didn’t say anything.

  When we got there, the line was around the corner again. I wasn’t a regular. They’d let me in that one time because of Erica. I didn’t think I’d have the same luck.

  When Jake was going to drop me off, I asked, “You come here a lot, don’t you?”

  “Uh…” His eyebrows bunched together. “A fair amount. Tara and Susan know people who work here.”

  “You’re going to have to come with me. I need you to get me in.”

  He did, nodding to the bouncers, and we were allowed to walk past them.

  He hunched closer to me as we went through the door. “This is not going to help the situation. Erica really won’t want to see me.”

  “Come on.” I scanned the nightclub.

  It was just like the last time—dark with techno music playing and neon lights flashing everywhere while crowds of people were packed inside.

  I spotted the big black booths in the back and grabbed Jake’s hand, tugging him behind me.

  He turned his hand upside down to lace our fingers together. He pulled me to a stop and stood close as he peered down at me. “You know she’s not going to approve of me.”

  I murmured, “One dilemma at a time.” The first one to deal with, my roommate and when I spotted Erica, her hands were flying in the air as she was talking. She was trying to punch a hole in the table with her finger when we got to the booth and was glaring at Wanker, who sat across from her. “That’s what she thinks, but she’s wrong.” Her lip curved up into a menacing glare. She punched the table again with that one single finger. “She’s wrong, Wanker. Wrong.”

  I moved within eyesight of her, but I was still cautious. Was she mad and hiding it?

  Her eyes grew bright and then went out of focus. Squinting, she shook her head and tried to focus again on me. As she did, the recognition lit up her face. A smile stretched from ear to ear. “My roommate!” She held her arms out wide but fell backward against her seat and started to pitch to the side.

  Wanker shot over the table and grabbed her right arm. I jerked forward and grabbed her left arm. We steadied her, and then I slipped in next to her. Jake sat next to Wanker.

  Erica gazed at Jake. Her lips stuck out in a pout. “You.”

  Jake sighed. A server went past, and he lifted his hand in the air. “Drink, please.”

  “You.” She started to get up, rising to stand where she sat in the booth. Her finger pointed across the table. “It’s your fault.”

  Jake lowered his hand and shot me a look. “Told you my presence would be a bad idea.”

  I waved that off and pulled Erica’s hand down. “Stop. Whatever’s going on has nothing to do with Jake.”

  “Yes, it does!” She closed her eyes, lifted her head, and shouted, “I’m drunk, Jo! I’m drunk. Drunk. And you…you had a panic attack, and I didn’t know.” She patted my arm, still with her eyes closed. “I’m so sorry you had a panic attack. I didn’t know. Did I know?”

  I caught her hand and held it. “You didn’t know.”

  “Okay.” Her eyes opened, and when she saw Jake, they lit back up. “You!”

  Her hand started to go up once again, but I caught it and snapped my fingers in front of her face.

  I said, “Right here. Over here. I’m here.”

  “You’re here. Oh, Jo! You’re here. Are you feeling better? I was worried, but I couldn’t leave, and you had a panic attack. Where did you go? I sent Dickhead to look for you.”

  “Uh…” I remembered Bob had been in the lounge. “Oh, yes. We must’ve missed each other. I went home, or I was going home. I started to feel better, and then I went to Jake’s house. I thought he could…” What was I going to say here?

  Jake lifted an eyebrow, a slight grin peeking at the corner of his mouth.

  I rolled my eyes at him and said to my roommate, “I thought he might have special medicine for my anxiety.”

  Jake lifted a hand in frustration and muttered, “Oh my God.”

  Erica’s eyes got big again. “He does. He has drugs. I knew it!” She pointed at him again. “You’re the type to have those steroids and shit. Wait, does Susan know? I could use that against her. Does she take steroids, too?”

  Jake’s hands spread out, palms upward. “I don’t have steroids. No one has steroids. Jo wanted booze. I had booze, but we left and went to your place instead.”

  Erica sucked in her breath. “You brought steroids to our place?”

  I started laughing. I couldn’t help it.

  Jake shot me a look. “Thanks. This is probably the only thing she’s going to remember from this night.”

  “You…” Erica rose from her seat. “You gave steroids to my roommate. Is she on steroids, too?”

  “Oh, for God’s sake,” Wanker burst out, standing. He grabbed Erica’s hands and pushed her back down, and then he shot a look at Jake and me. His eyes were beady under his glasses. “You two are not helping. You were supposed to come and help her.”

  Jake frowned. “She’s drunk. What else do you want us to do?”

  “Five minutes before you arrived, she was planning murder. Said it’d be a double exposé since they just interviewed that killer guy.”

  Jake’s frown deepened. “That killer guy? What killer guy?”

  Erica grumbled, sliding down in the seat so that her feet were almost in Wanker’s lap, “That hot killer guy. You know who I’m talking about. I am sober enough to admit that I’m drunk enough not to remember his name. That guy.”

  “Oh.” Jake nodded. “That guy. I remember.” His tone was sarcastic. His hand lifted in the air, and his fingers spread out. “It all makes perfect sense now.”

  Erica glowered at him as she hunched down, and stuck her bottom lip out. “I don’t appreciate your tone. I don’t know what it is right now, but I don’t appreciate it.”

  I wanted to hit my forehead. This was my roommate. This was Wanker, who was fine. And this was—I gazed at Jake—my friend and accountability partner. This was my team, whom I’d chosen to hide away with in my new life, and they were arguing over…I had no idea what they were arguing over. For some reason, I was fed up, and my patience was gone.

  I started to stand up. I wanted to deliver some lecture, and again, I had no clue what I was going to deliver, but Wanker beat me to it.

  He jerked forward in his seat and spread his hands in the air. His movement was dramatic, as was the look of disgust on his face. He looked from Jake to Erica and back again. “You two, shut the fuck up.”

  Erica’s bottom lip popped back out in a pout.

  Jake rolled his eyes.