The Complete Adventures of the flea, fly, Floo

WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID:

  Prince Smartie says:

  ❝Flea23, As soon as I started reading this I screamed "Wow!" out loud! What fun! This is wonderful. Kids would love all the internal rhyming and tongue twisting repetitive sounds.

  I think you are really onto something. I can definitely see it published. They say there's no money in poetry and that it's hard to publish poetry, but this is the first poetry I've read that looks like a marketable commodity. I see it in an illustrated book with one stanza below each picture and separate books. You may have just written a future children's classic.❞

  Lark says:

  ❝That is CUTE! And for all its wackiness it couldn't have been easy. You created your own special world here, populated by creatures most of us couldn't conceive of.❞

  The wordmaster says:

  ❝It all began with an idea. I wrote the first Book in the series. Then my daughter begged me have them get arrested, then begged me to have them break out of prison. I don’t have an excuse for Book four. Book five began before the Book one was finished. Then I remembered an old song........ It was time to let the series rest. Some friends said that this series was perhaps the only chance I had of being published.❞

  DEDICATION

  This is dedicated to my daughter, Annie, and to my sons, Toby and Nicholas. Without her, the flea, fly, or the Floo would not exist. She kept insisting that I broaden the scope of the tale and make it more challenging with each installment. The boys enjoyed the stories as much as Annie did.

  My biggest fans were my own children, who kept encouraging for me to finish the stories and do something with them. They introduced their friends to the half-lit zoo and to the towns of Boogaloo, Yulamatoo, Beauregard Stew, and Kalamazoo. It was pleasing to me that they also became fans.

  This fable, then, as told in five “books” is dedicated to them and my wife, who is a constant inspiration and companion.

  ✥✥✥

  BOOK ONE

  The Day of the Flea, Fly, Floo

  Now listen here folks and you will see,

  And I'll tell you a tale of history.

  The year is uncertain, the day twenty three,

  In the peaceful little village of Chim-Pan-Zee.

  When from the South a thing appeared,

  A strange red bird, and growing a beard.

  A huge umbrella was how he steered.

  He was black and blue and his eyes were teared.

  He walked to the center of our little town.

  He seemed so sad and looked so down.

  He braced his shoulders and smoothed his crown

  And began his tale with a trace of a frown.

  "How do you do, my name is Floo.

  I flee from a fly and a flea named Boo.

  I'm so tired now, it's all I can do

  To flee from a fly and a flea named Boo.

  "We robbed a bank in Kalamazoo:

  The flea on the fly and the fly on Floo.

  The cops heard us and away we flew:

  The flea, the fly, and a bird named Floo.

  "We planned it all and no one knew

  But me, the flea and a fly named Shoo.

  But I found that they were both untrue;

  Not me, but the flea and a fly named Shoo.

  "So we fought for the money and even the brew,

  Just me, and the fly and a flea named Boo.

  There raged such a battle you ain't never knew,

  The bird on the fly and the fly on Boo."

  Even as he spoke in Chim-Pan-Zee

  A dust cloud came for all to see.

  It settled near town and close to a tree,

  And when the fly spoke made history.

  "How do you do, my name is Shoo.

  I fly from a flea, and a bird named Floo.

  We robbed a bank in Kalamazoo,

  A flea on the fly, and the fly on Floo."

  But before anyone knew what to do

  About a flea, the fly, or even Floo,

  Shoo flew from the sound of a mighty brew

  Of a flea for the fly and the fly for Floo.

  Then Boo strode the town as if he knew

  Where stood the fly and where stood Floo.

  But Boo saw the folks and then he knew

  To tell of a flea, and a fly and a Floo.

  "How do you do, my name is Boo,

  I look for a bird, and a fly named Shoo.

  They took my money, and they took my brew,

  So they fly from a flea, both Shoo and Floo."

  The folks saw the flea and the bird with a beard

  And thought about how they first appeared,

  Then thought of the flea and the fly and jeered

  At the lines they used and the rhymes they smeared.

  They chased that flea out into the blue -

  The flea on the fly, and the fly on Floo.

  There's not any doubt my tale is true:

  The fly's on me, but the flea's on you.

  BOOK TWO

  Flip the Flop-eared Flea Flicker

  In the shadows of time in Boogaloo

  Came a strange young man from Kalamazoo.

  Something about the way he buckled his shoe

  Made a person want to dare to trust him true.

  When the mayor asked "just who are you?"

  The man smiled slowly and took his cue.

  "I'm just a Flea-Flicker looking for Floo,

  And both of his buddies named Boo and Shoo.

  "My name is Flip and I'm Flop-eared too;

  I came all the way to Boogaloo

  Just to flick this flea they all call Boo.

  I'm gonna flick 'em all back to Kalamazoo.

  "I'm Flip, the Dog-Faced Flop-Eared Flea-Flicker from Kalamazoo.

  Don't stand in my way I've got a job to do.

  If you're in my way when I take my cue,

  You'll find yourself getting flea-flicked too."

  He was the Thin Man, The Shadow, Perry Mason too:

  He was Bond, Clousseau, dressed all in blue.

  With a blazing red S on his chest and shoe,

  Smoked a crooked pipe, an elementary clue.

  The mayor just didn't know what to do

  About a Flea-Flicker fresh from Kalamazoo.

  Then through the crowd came a lady in blue,

  And she told that Flea-Flicker what he could do.

  "My name is Flo, the mother of Boo,

  The wife of Shoo, and friend of Floo.

  You tell me what I can do

  And I'll whip them boys pure black and blue.

  But you ain't takin 'em to Kalamazoo,

  And no flea-flicken's gonna happen in Boogaloo.

  So if you know what's good for you,

  You'll go on back to Kalamazoo."

  Flip and Flo stared and glared in the dew

  Til Flip finally said "They're in a stew."

  Flo firmly said "Your business is through,

  And you can take that back to Kalamazoo."

  Just when Flip was going to arrest her too,

  The crowd gave way to another two.

  The two just glared and stared through the dew,

  And then told Flip a thing or two.

  "My name is Bo, big brother of Boo,

  Son of Shoo, and friend of Floo:

  This here's Sho, the father of Floo

  Friend of Shoo, and friend of Boo.

  "We love to flick Flea-Flickers from Kalamazoo,

  And this dog-faced flop-eared's gonna get it too."

  Then through the crowd gathered round that zoo,

  There came the flea, the fly and Floo.

  N
ow Flip just smiled at that motley crew

  And said "This is what I have to do.

  I'm gonna flick this flea they all call Boo,

  And I'll flick ‘em all back to Kalamazoo."

  Then Bo, Sho, Flo, and the flea, fly and Floo

  All came at Flip at the count of two.

  But Flip flopped in the air upon that cue,

  And flicked those fleas with the tip of his shoe.

  He flicked so fast that no one knew

  Just what had happened or what to do.

  But there lay six in the dust and the dew

  And he rested awhile with a cold Mountain Dew.

  The mayor asked what he was gonna do

  With Bo, Sho, Flo, and the flea, fly, Floo.

  Flip flippantly answered as he unbuckled his shoe

  "They'll be flicked for years at Kalamazoo."

  "I'm Flip the Dog-Faced Flop-Eared Flea-Flicker from Kalamazoo.

  Don't stand in my way, I've got a job to do.

  If you're in my way when I take my cue,

  You'll find yourself gettin’ flea-flicked too."

  So he packed them up and away he flew

  With Bo, Sho, Flo, and the flea, fly, Floo.

  People stared in awe at this man in blue:

  At Flip, the flop-eared Flea-Flicker from Kalamazoo.

  ✥✥✥

 

  BOOK THREE

  Flick, the Freckle-Faced Flea-Flicker-Flayer

  One fine day in Kalamazoo

  In a prison so dark and dreary too,

  There sat a crime king of a flaxen hue

  Who took an interest in a bird named Floo.

  He sent for the bird and all that crew

  Of the flea, and the fly and even Floo.

  He said "I'm lookin for Flip and I'll get him too,

  But we gotta get out of this prison and zoo.

  "I'm Flick the freckle-faced Flea-Flicker-Flayer from Beauregard Stew,

  The meanest place in the country too.

  We train from birth so we can start out true,

  To flay flea-flickers from Kalamazoo.

  "Now here is what we have to do

  To pay Flip back for what he's done to our crew:

  We'll have to get help from our cronies too

  And whip Old Flip til he's black and blue."

  So out went the word and some messages too

  For the fleas and the flies in Beauregard Stew,

  To bust out of jail with the flea, fly, Floo,

  And go after Flip and the tip of his shoe.

  When the day finally fell at a quarter to two

  The freckle-faced-flayer was playin a kazoo.

  And when he stopped, it was then that they knew

  That a big bad battle was about to ensue.

  The sky was dark with wings black and blue:

  With flea-flicker-flayer-fledglings headed straight for the zoo.

  The fleas and the flies and the birds all knew,

  It was time to escape at the count of two.

  The air grew chill and took on a dark hue,

  As all those fledglings flew in from the blue.

  And the battle that raged and waged in the zoo,

  Left both sides lots of things they could rue.

  Fleet flea-flicker-fledglings engaged in that brew

  With flicker-flayer-fledglings hoping for a coup.

  Flies flecked the face of flickers who knew

  That without Flip the flop-eared they were in a stew.

  Flip finally got a message from an old Cockatoo

  And left family and friends in fair Kalamazoo.

  There were fifty flea-flickers feeling flayed by the crew

  When Flip flopped on the floor and buckled his shoe.

  "I'm Flip the dog-faced flop-eared flea-flicker from Kalamazoo.

  Don't stand in my way, I got a job to do.

  If you're in my way when I take my cue,

  You'll find yourself gettin flea-flicked too."

  Flip flicked so fast that no one knew

  That he'd finally feel fraggled and feel fully blue.

  And when he met Flick the flea-flicker-flayer from Beauregard Stew,

  He needed to fight fresh and finish fully through.

  Flip flopped in the air and Flick suddenly knew,

  That to win this war, he'd have to get that shoe.

  But then Floo flipped into Flick and Flip finally threw

  Flick onto the floor and broke his kazoo.

  Now Floo was a Dodo, I'm sure that you knew,

  And when he fell into Flick, they lost the whole coup.

  And Flip's forces finally found their just due

  For flea-flicker cops who wear that shoe.

  What happened to Flick and the flea, fly, Floo,

  Or Flip the Flop-eared and their whole entire crew?

  The flayers got twenty years more in the zoo,

  While Flip and friends . . . got a brand new shoe.

  ✥✥✥

  BOOK FOUR

  Flippety Floppety Flew

  Here is an adventure, I'll give you a view

  Of a Flea-Flicker fledgling and how he flew.

  The son of a hero, I know that it's true,

  For he's the son of Flip, from Kalamazoo.

  For one to live under that famous shoe

  Is sure to make the heart truly blue,

  So to Leroy the lop-eared, a Lollapalooza he knew

  He went for advice on just what to do.

  There in the danks of a forestry view,

  Was the world's smartest bird, with a tremendous I.Q.

  All over the world people walked through his zoo

  Just to seek his advice and to learn what to do.

  Then when Leroy the lop-eared thought through and through

  He said "Dear Flippety, here's what to do . . . "

  He walked and he talked for an hour or two

  And he got so excited that Flippety Floppety Flew.

  Now when Fleet, the son of a flayer from Boogaloo

  Came teasing young Flippety about a shoe,

  Flippety faintly foundered then said "It's true,

  My father is Flip the flea-flicker from Kalamazoo.

  "But he only whipped six in the dust and the dew,

  And this flea-flicker-fledgling can even whip you.

  But just to show my heart is true,

  I'll forget what you said and we'll start out new."

  (This is what Leroy had told him to do

  With his worldwide wisdom and his high I.Q.)

  But Fleet was floundered and began to spew,

  "I'll go ask my famous father in Beauregard Stew."

  The flea-flicker-flayer-fledgling's father

  turned an ugly hue,

  When Fleet told Flick what Flippety could do.

  He boiled and roiled and took a miscue,

  And said "Dear son, here's what we'll do . . . "

  "We'll get the original flea, fly, Floo

  And Bo, Sho, Flo, and the rest of the crew.

  Then we'll show Flippety two by two

  You don't forgive the crowd of the flea, fly, Floo!"

  And deep in the town of Beauregard Stew

  They figured out next what they would do.

  Well the scene of the crime and the derring do

  Was when Flippety was visiting a half-lit zoo.

  Then Freddy the Frump came and blocked his view

  And said "Hey buddy, this thing is true -

  You don't tell us what you're gonna do

  And we're still gonna pester you about that shoe."

  "Well sir", said Flippety, "I really feel blue,

  For I can't imagine what's it to you."

  Then all at once comes out of the hoo,

  A whole lot of others and a very motley crew.

  There was a bee in a tree, and a Chimpanzee with Boo,

  There was a gnat in a hat (an aristocrat) with Shoo,

  There was a thr
ee legged Nertz, driving a Hertz for Floo.

  There were twenty three not counting me, verdous?

  Well Bo, Sho, Flo, and the fly and Floo

  All flew at Flippety with Flip's famous shoe.

  Flippety finally floundered and began to rue:

  Was this what Leroy had helped him to do?

  Without that shoe, what could he do

  Against twenty three demons in a half-lit zoo?

  Did it mean they'd sent Flip to a heaven so blue

  And would do the same to Flippety Floppety too?

  The turning point came when they showed Sweet Sue

  And asked Flippety if it was his girlfriend true.

  "Well yes," said he, "and at the count of two

  I'll fight you all for my dear sweet Sue."

  Then Slewfoot Slim came out of that crew

  And reached down and kissed the pretty Sweet Sue.

  How Flippety Floppety flipped in the face of that crew

  Will never be forgotten in Kalamazoo.

  When Freddy the Frump and Fleet turned blue

  Then Flippety flicked 'em with the tip of his shoe.

  Flootsie Von Tootsie and his fiddlers two

  Fell facing their fellows in the dust and the dew.