Their Virgin Secretary, Page 35

  permission? Am I supposed to beg my way in every night?”

  Eric sighed. Kell was going to heap on the drama. “I haven’t asked you to beg before. I wasn’t planning on starting. What’s really making you act like an asshole? Belle told you that you would be welcome. You can come and go as you please. That’s what you wanted. Isn’t it? No strings.”

  He didn’t answer for a long minute. The bar got quiet momentarily as the jukebox shifted from jazz to the blues. The beat thudded through the place, setting the scene for Kellan’s misery.

  With a sigh, he shook his head. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

  Now, they were getting to the real problem. For a control freak like Kell, not understanding his world was bad enough. Not understanding what was going on in his head would be catastrophic. “You don’t have to know this instant. You just have to come home and give it some time. That’s what Belle is offering you.”

  Kellan shook his head. “There’s no time. There’s no way you’re not going to marry her right away. You’ll have her in front of a justice of the peace before she can change her mind.”

  “She’s not going to change her mind.” He knew his Belle. Now that she’d committed, she’d stay that way until the day she died. She would love them all with every breath and every beat of her heart. Now that she had agreed to marry him, he felt a deep conviction that everything would be all right. “We’re still going to marry her as soon as possible. I think we’ve waited long enough. Even when we do, that won’t change our offer.”

  Kell didn’t appear to believe him. “If you say. And what about the firm? You’re just going to throw out everything we worked for in Chicago?”

  It hadn’t been easy, but Eric had made his peace with that. He could find work here. “It’s not as if Louisiana has met its quota for lawyers.” And even if he convinced Kell to stay with them, he didn’t see a reason they couldn’t keep the branch in Chicago going, too. “I know she’s asking us to uproot our lives and careers, and it’s not easy. I think if we pushed her now, she’d return to Chicago with us. At the end of the day, she won’t choose this place over her husbands. That’s exactly why I’m going to move here. I’m going to support her and help make her dream come true, but if you’d rather go back to Chicago, do it. You can come and go from her bed as you please. You can run that office and visit us whenever you like. I’m not going to stop you. As long as Belle wants you around, I’ll say yes.”

  A nasty frown crossed his face. “And what happens when you start popping out kids? She mentioned that would be an issue.”

  Eric leaned forward, getting a little angry himself. There was only so much he was willing to take. “I’m sorry. Did you mean to ask what happens when we decide to start a family?”

  Kellan flushed guiltily. “Sorry. I really didn’t mean any disrespect. I…I just haven’t thought about a family in a long time. The idea of you and Tate starting one with Belle is disconcerting.”

  “You can’t expect us to wait, man. We’re not getting any younger.” He was ten years older than his parents were when they had him. It was time for him to start building his future, and that began with Belle and some kids he could raise, mold, and love.

  Kellan ran a weary hand over his face. “Well, I’m not ready—for any of this. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

  Eric had an easy answer for that. “No one ever is. No one. Do you think I’m ready for kids? It scares the holy hell out of me. What are we going to tell them? How are we going to explain the fact that they have a mom and more than one dad? We’re going to have to try to fit in at PTA meetings and neighborhood block parties. The idea that we could make our kids’ lives hard makes me sick, but that won’t stop me from trying. Because I love that woman and I’m going to love our kids. After that, being ready has nothing to do with it. I’m just going to lead with my heart. But I think everyone who’s ever had a kid worries about being a good enough parent.”

  “It’s more complicated than that,” Kellan shot back.

  “Only if you make it that way. I think it’s pretty damn simple.”

  “You don’t understand what happened to me.”

  Frustration welled inside Eric. “I know exactly what happened to you. You were humiliated. You were betrayed. But most of all, you were embarrassed. And guess what? It doesn’t matter. That’s what you’ve never gotten. It doesn’t change who you are to me, to Tate, or to Belle. You think you looked like a fool. You’re wrong. We think Lila and your father are terrible human beings who didn’t give a shit about you. None of that was your fault. Even if it had been, we wouldn’t give a shit. We just love you. You’re letting a woman who didn’t give two shits about you—not even for one second—win over three people who have always loved you and always will. For a Dom, you sure are giving her all the power.”

  Kellan flushed, his mouth firming to a hard line. “I’m not giving her power. That’s such a fucking simplistic thing to say. This is about more than just Lila.”

  “You’re right. This isn’t really about Lila at all. This is about you. You can walk away from what Lila did. You can even walk away from your father. You think it’s Belle you don’t trust.”

  Kellan slapped a hand against the bar, the sound jarring. “I trust Belle. I don’t trust me.”

  Finally, he was being honest. “You blame yourself for everything, but it wasn’t your fault.”

  “I should have seen it coming. I should have seen through her.”

  “You have to forgive yourself. God, Kellan, do you really think this self-flagellation hasn’t affected the rest of us? You seem to think you’re the one on the outside, but you’re wrong. You are and have always been a part of this family, and we need you. You think your choice won’t hurt anyone except you. You’re wrong. And Tate and I will miss you. Belle will regret losing you until the day she dies. Here’s what you really don’t understand: our kids are going to miss you too because you would be a spectacular father.”

  Kellan closed his eyes, but not before Eric saw a sheen of tears there. He swallowed it down. “I don’t have any idea how to be a father. Mine was such a crappy example.”

  It was easy to see he wanted it though. Eric relaxed. This wasn’t a case of Kellan being stubborn. He was scared, but that wouldn’t last forever. The situation called for a little patience and kindness. But then, he’d learned the hard way that patience and kindness were two requirements to make a functional, happy family.

  “My dad was an asshole, too. He wanted to live through me. He expected me to do all the things he wasn’t able to and he didn’t care if I got hurt in the process. My last concussion put me in the hospital. My dad was there when I woke up, calling me a pussy and telling me to get my sorry ass back out on the field. I refused. He won’t talk to me anymore. He didn’t want a son, just a star athlete. He was a horrible role model. He taught me nothing about being a good parent. But he showed me exactly what not to do. I can figure out the rest because I’m going to love that kid like I love his mother.”

  Kellan set the beer down. “I don’t know what to do. I…I care about Belle. I really do. You and Tate are the brothers I never had. I don’t want to lose you all, but I don’t trust it either. I couldn’t make a lasting relationship with one person. How do I do that with three of you? If it falls apart, it will happen in spectacular fashion because of me.”

  Eric couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “This will work because we all want it to. We’re stronger than you think. Yeah, we’re all broken, but we need each other. We prop each other up. Where one of us fails, the others take over. Belle needs all three of us. This family needs all of us, but you have to be willing to try, put some faith in yourself and us. More than anything, you have to forgive yourself or you will never move forward.”

  “I don’t know that I can. How did I miss the signs? Hell, I knew the marriage wasn’t normal. I knew I didn’t even love her. I didn’t even want to. Maybe that’s the worst part; I wanted an easy marriage. We had the same goals. I wanted her to be a good political wife. I wanted her to be a good mom, but I expected any kids we had would be raised by nannies and likely go to boarding schools. I wanted us to have good sex. In exchange, I was willing to support her career goals. I thought we’d make a good team.”

  Eric couldn’t imagine such a cold exchange of loyalties. He’d always known he wanted a real marriage, even if it was messy and hard. Before he’d really understood what love was, he’d wanted caring and kindness in his life. “I know you think you wanted that, but I firmly believe you would have found it empty and left anyway in the end.”

  “What if that kind of marriage is all I’m capable of? This is the first time in my life I’ve ever had a relationship with someone who wants something real from me. Not money or power. Not connections or my family name. Belle doesn’t want a teammate. Belle doesn’t care that I can take care of her financially. I sure as hell don’t think Belle is going to want the same kind of childhood I had for our kids.”

  Eric ached for his friend, but he had to be utterly honest. “None of us wants that, man. What Belle requires from you is simple. She wants love and honesty. She wants to love you back and won’t accept anything less than your all. But here’s the thing: she’ll give you everything she has in return. Always. She won’t ever leave us. She won’t cheat or stab us in the back. She would never whore herself for money or fame or anything the rest of the world can give her. Belle will love you for you. She’ll do it whether or not you’re brave enough to try. Just because you walk away, doesn’t mean Belle will love you less.”

  “The sharing thing could make us all outcasts,” Kellan countered.

  Eric was done with that argument. “I don’t give a shit what others think. We’ll make a great family. There will always be people who don’t understand. I won’t live my life by their standards. I want to live my life so fully that I have no regrets at the end. If you leave now, do you honestly think you’ll never regret it.”

  “And if I fail? What if I’m only really built for the type of one-sided relationship my parents had?” Lines of worry creased Kellan’s face as he spoke, the heavy weight of his fears apparent.

  “How many close friendships does your father have?” He had to get Kellan to see he wasn’t his dad. It was the only way they had a shot at moving past this problem. Kellan wasn’t his father any more than any of them were the sum of their parents.

  Kellan suddenly found his glass infinitely fascinating. “None. My father believed in allies and he would be loyal until he no longer needed them. Then he would walk away and never look back.”

  Rather like Kellan had done after law school. He’d found the woman he thought would be a perfect mate and he’d left Eric and Tate in the dust. He hadn’t even invited them to his wedding. They had been the best of friends in college until Kellan had found a new life.

  He would have been alone from that point on if Eric hadn’t reached out to him after the divorce because Tate had found the article about it online. Tate hadn’t called because he’d assumed that if Kellan needed him, Kellan would say something. Eric had known better, so he’d been the one to reach out. The two of them had worked together to help Kellan in his time of need.

  Friendship was a delicate balance. Today proved it all over again.

  “Is that what you’re planning on doing? Walking away and never looking back?” Eric knew the answer, but Kellan needed to figure it out for himself. Then what?

  After a long pause, Kellan turned his way. “I might not be able to live the kind of life Belle needs, but I can’t just walk away. Whatever you need, all you have to do is call me. I’ll stop whatever I’m doing. If I’m somewhere else, I’ll come to you. I will never let you down. I’m done with that.”

  Because they were family. “Come home with me. If we’re all committed, we’ll work it out. Just give it some time.”

  Kellan finally nodded. “All right.”

  * * * *

  Belle answered the door, eager to get the evening’s meeting over with. The contractors had come and gone, and nothing had been settled. No one had tripped the cameras, so they still didn’t have any evidence. Belle found the not knowing so frustrating, especially when all she wanted to do was bask in the glow of her new future, glimmering just over the horizon.

  Of course, that future would be dimmer if she couldn’t have all of her men.

  Eric had left a while back. Perhaps he would find Kellan and bring him home. Then they could talk everything out. Or maybe she would just make love to the man until he couldn’t walk. She could completely exhaust him so he couldn’t run. That would be one way to keep him close.

  “Annabelle Wright?” The woman was younger than she’d seemed on the phone. Somehow, Belle had thought she would be more like her mother’s age. The face that stared back was perhaps a year or two older than her own. She was dressed in a business suit and carried a briefcase. Her blonde hair was in a careful bun.

  All in all, not what she’d thought a medium would look like.

  “Yes. Won’t you please come in?” The faster she got this started, the quicker she could set the scene for Kellan. Seduction might be the best way to go. She’d been honest with him about what she wanted. He knew the score. She could see if an enormous amount of really filthy sex would help him see that she could be his kind of woman. Now that she knew exactly what she wanted, she found herself eager to start making a home with her men.

  The medium stepped through, her nose wrinkling delicately. “I’m Helena Rhodes. So you’ve been having issues with the house. I’m really not surprised. It’s a bit infamous. Rumor is, there’ve been several suicides here, and some people who owned the house afterward complained of disturbances and unexplained activity.”

  Belle was fairly certain some of her issues were entirely human, but she couldn’t ignore the feelings she got in the house. There was no way the shadow that had passed through her the night before had been human. There was definitely a presence or two in the house. Hopefully between the nanny cam Tate had set up to catch whoever was trying to scare her away and Helena, she could finally get some help on the ghost front. “Yes, we’ve had several incidents. There are cold spots all over the house and I can hear whispering at night when I sleep in the master bedroom. It always stops the minute I get out of bed. Did Tate explain what happened last night?”

  Helena looked around the foyer, one brow elegantly arched. “I was told you were visited by an entity. It doesn’t surprise me. I can feel it from here. There’s a lot of darkness in this house. Do you know the full history of the house?”

  Belle nodded as the medium walked into the hallway. “I’ve done some research. I know two young women supposedly killed themselves here. Two sisters.”

  Helena turned back, her eyes slightly narrowed. “Supposedly? You think you know something different?”

  “I think they were murdered by their father.” She’d seen it over and over again in her dreams. She’d even read some reporter’s theories on the incidents. Her grandmother had also written about the house being haunted in her journals. She had never had the place cleansed because she’d attempted to communicate with the entities. Her grandmother had believed that all the women in her family had a touch of psychic power and owed it to the world to help the dead to move on.

  Of course, her grandmother had also said that the ghosts of this house were terrifically stubborn.

  Belle really hoped the medium knew what she was doing.

  Sir scampered into the room, giving a little yip at her feet.

  Helena stared down, then lifted her nose in the air. “No one mentioned an animal.”

  Belle frowned. Apparently, Helena wasn’t a dog person. “He’s actually been really helpful since we moved in. I’m pretty sure he knows when the entities are around. I think there are a couple of ghosts here. One is really nasty and likes to hang around the library. Sir won’t go in there. He just stands outside the door growling sometimes. Sir here seems to like the one who drifts around. That one he follows around most of the day. It concerned me at first, but he’s happy enough. There’s a place upstairs he doesn’t like, right in front of the master bedroom. He’ll bark at it from time to time. I think it might be the spot where the girls were murdered. They were found hanging from the third floor staircase.”

  “Well, he’s a dog. I think I should be the one to decide how many entities and what they’re like. I’m the one with experience.” With a sigh, she set her case down and pulled out her cell phone. She flicked her hand across the screen, either texting someone or writing an e-mail. “I have an associate coming with the rest of my equipment. I wanted to get a feel for the place before I set up. Is everyone gone? I was told you live with several men.”

  Belle was starting to think she should handle this herself since the medium seemed awfully judgmental for someone who talked to the dead. “It’s just me, Tate, and Sir tonight. The others are out for the evening.”

  Tate chose that moment to step out of the kitchen. He smiled and looped an arm around her shoulders. “Hey, are you the one who’s going to de-ghost us? Because we could use it. I just got that blast of cold air thing. It’s freaky. It’s unseasonably hot. I shouldn’t be scrambling for a sweater. Also, I’m pretty sure one of the ghosts keeps patting my ass. That weirds me out a little, but I do understand it. I really work on these glutes.”

  The medium stared at them, looking just shy of annoyed. “You should have told me there were extra people here. I explained that I need the house cleared. This is going to work best if there are no disruptions.”

  Tate seemed utterly unfazed by the woman’s obvious irritation. He simply smiled. “This is as cleared as we get. Trust me, this is quiet for us. It’s usually a madhouse. I’m surprised we don’t scare off the ghosts. I turned all the ringers off on our phones so we shouldn’t have a ton of noise.”

  Helena was texting again, her fingers moving in an almost angry fashion.

  The hair on the back of Belle’s neck started to stand up. Something was off about the medium. She seemed stiff, and there was something about the way her eyes darted around that made Belle wary. Helena kept looking from her phone to the door as though she couldn’t wait for her assistant to show up.

  Perhaps the house was overwhelming her?

  “Can I get you a drink? Anything while we wait?” She had to give the woman the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes the house seemed oppressive to her, and she wasn’t even psychic.

  Helena’s jaw tightened. “No. Perhaps Tate here could take the dog for a walk. It really would be better if we were alone. I -->