Tool

  Lying there with her, my heart feels like it's going to fucking explode.   I feel content, and that's not a familiar feeling.

  She's so quiet that I think she's fallen asleep until she whispers soft in the room, "I love you Gaige. "

  "I love you Delamey. "

  She slaps me hard on the arm.

  I'm hanging out by the pool with Daniel – his idea, not mine, something about needing to get some sun.   The guy is in theatre, so he's in between auditions with nothing to do during the day, and Delaney's working today.   Since I'm still lying low for the next couple weeks, that means I'm at the gym and riding the bike, just not publicly.   And today, it means I'm hanging out at the pool with Daniel, who's pretty cool.

  We're sitting in loungers in the sun and Daniel is telling me about Delaney and what she was like in college.   "Totally type A," he says.

  "Any boyfriends I need to have murdered?"

  "Ooh, possessive," Daniel says.   "I like it.   But mum's the word on boyfriends.   I'm afraid I don't kiss and tell and neither does Delaney. "

  "So you're saying there's someone I'm going to have to kill, then," I say, and I'm about to continue when I hear Anja's voice as she comes down the walk.   "Goddamn it. "

  Daniel peers over the edge of his sunglasses.   "Is that Delaney's wicked stepmother?"

  I groan.   "It's my mother," I say.   As usual, she's dressed in something ridiculous – this time it's some kind of purple sheath dress with weirdly shaped cutouts that expose her body, something no son wants to see.   And shoes with silver spikes along the heels.   Behind her trails the biggest douchebag-looking guy I've ever seen, his dark hair gelled back and an orange spray tan.   He's wearing a half-sheer t-shirt and a pair of stretch pants that look like they could very well be Delaney's.

  I walk out the gate to meet the wicked witch and her evil minion.   "Morning, mother," I say.   "Showing up here in true classy form, I see. "

  "I came to get my things, while your father is at work," she sniffs.

  "I'll tell the housekeeping staff to watch the silverware," I say.

  "I can see your attitude hasn't improved any. "

  "It's improved plenty," I say.   "But with you here, it's quickly souring. "

  "So you haven't come to your senses, then," she says.   "You're still persisting with this disgusting relationship. "

  Anger surges through me, and I struggle to maintain my composure, only because my mother would love more than anything to elicit a reaction from me.   That would be exactly what she wants, and I'm not inclined to give her anything she wants.   "It's ironic that you find mine and Delaney's relationship disgusting when you're obviously with this little troll here. "

  Anja's eyes narrow as she looks at me.   "You leave her now, or you're out of my will. "

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  "Is there anything left?" I ask.   "I'd always just assumed you spent it all on vodka and cigarettes. "

  "You smoke?"  Orange guy, formerly silent, speaks, looking at her in shock.

  "No," she says, her voice terse.

  "Oh, she does a lot of things I'm sure you're not aware of," I say.   "Yoga is only the newest fad.   Mother, I'd appreciate it if you would write me out of the will.   That way I can trust that I'll never have one of these little visits from you again. "

  "You've always been an ungrateful little shit," she says.   "You're nothing without me.   I raised you. "

  "Yes," I say.   "Despite your best efforts to the contrary, you raised a son who through some twist of fate was able to land a girl like Delaney.   And I don't mind telling you to just go fuck yourself. "

  "You don't talk to me that way," she says, but I turn to head back to the pool.

  "I'm calling up to the housekeeping staff now," I say.   "I'm sure it would be best if one of the security guards escorted you while you pack up your things. "

  She unleashes a barrage of curses at me, but I'm not listening as I return to the lounge chair beside Daniel.

  "Well, that was dramatic," he says.

  I settle back against the chair and close my eyes.   "I'm Gaige O'Neal," I say.   "Would you really fucking expect anything less?"

  Later, I sit in the oversized chair in the guesthouse living room.   Delaney sits on my lap, snuggled up with her face buried in my neck.   A year ago, if you'd have told me that I'd be happily cuddling with a girl, much less Delaney Marlowe, I'd have told you to go fuck yourself.   Yet, here we are.   And it feels good.

  "Daniel said he conned you into laying out by the pool with him today," she says.   "He was totally scoping you out. "

  "Well, I'm a hot piece of ass," I tell her.   "Make sure you don't forget it. "

  Delaney giggles.   "I'll try not to," she says.   "So Anja showed up, huh?"

  "With the yoga instructor she's seeing, Paul or something," he says.   "Your poor father. "

  She's silent for a minute.   "I think he might be more relieved than anything, honestly. "

  I pull her away from me and look at her carefully.   "You think there's actually hope for us, then?"

  "Like, happily ever after and all that?" she asks.   "I don't know if it'll work, Gaige. "

  "Well, shit, at least no one can say you're not honest. "  I bristle at her words.

  "No," she says.   "Let me finish.   I don't know what the future holds or anything like that.   I don't know if it'll work.   But I know that when you find someone that makes you think about the future that way, you have to jump with both feet, and give it a shot. "

  "You're such a fucking romantic," I say.

  Delaney slaps me.   "It's not going to be all rainbows and sunshine, you know," she says.

  "God, I fucking hope not," I tell her.

  Two years later

  "Oh my God, Gaige, hurry up!" I yell upstairs.   "We're late for the wedding!  The limo driver is literally standing outside the front door!"

  Gaige walks down the stairs dressed in a tuxedo, looking so hot I swear my panties should be melting off.   If I were wearing any panties under this dress.   But I'm not, at Gaige's request.   It's totally inappropriate, but then Gaige and I were never really all that appropriate, I guess.   He gives me that cocky grin of his, and wolf whistles.   "Whoa.   Look at you. "

  "Good?"  I spin around in the dress, a wine-colored floor length gown with an off the shoulder neckline.

  "Great," Gaige says, sliding his hand around my back and dipping me back as he kisses me.   I slap him on the arm, and he pulls me back up.

  "Don't mess up my hair," I tell him.

  "I'm thinking of taking you back upstairs so I can mess up a lot more than your hair," he says.   He flicks his tongue over my earlobe and I swat him away.

  "You're going to have lipstick all over you, and you know Robyn will kill you," I tell him.   "And my father will kill you if you make us late for their wedding because you're debauching me. "

  In the car, I swat Gaige's hand away again as it roams my dress.   "You're terrible. "

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  "Are you naked under that dress?" he asks, his voice low in my ear.

  "Yes," I say.   "But you have to keep your hands off me until after the wedding. "  My father is getting remarried.   His fiancé is wonderful – she's smart and successful, a corporate litigator.   She doesn't take shit from my father – and he's never been happier.   And we're late for their wedding, which is in precisely thirty-three minutes.

  "Cruel and unusual punishment," he says.

  The wedding is beautiful, small and appropriate for my father's third marriage, just family and friends in a church in downtown Dallas.   Anja is not invited, obviously, and my mother isn't there.   My mother hasn't spoken to any of us since the scandal when Gaige and I first were discovered, even thought the scandal itself faded away pretty quickly.   Gaige was able to get back into racing a month later.   His string of victories on the track brou
ght him an even larger public following.   The scandal still loomed over him somewhat, and even though it was brought up every so often by an over-zealous reporter, Beau and Anja's divorce made it pretty much a moot point.

  I hug my father and Robyn before we leave the reception.   "I'm so happy for you both," I say, and before I know it, I'm tearing up.   "I'm sorry," I sniffle, cursing my hormones for making me cry.   "It's just such a beautiful day. "

  In the limo, Gaige slides his arm around me.   "It's nice to see your father so happy. "

  "The wedding was beautiful," I say.   And I feel myself tearing up again.

  Gaige cups my chin and studies my face.   I flush under his gaze, and I know I need to tell him.   I've just been waiting for the right time.   "I don't think I've ever seen you tear up so much in one day," he says.

  "Gaige, I –" I start, but he interrupts me, kissing me lightly on the lips.

  "Wait.   I have something to show you. "

  "I have something I need…" To tell you, I want to finish, but before I can, he's pulling me out of the limo.   I almost drop my purse as I walk, but Gaige picks it up and I want to show him what's inside it, but I don't.   "Why are we at my father's house?"

  "You have to come with me," he says.   "No questions. "

  He holds my hand, and one of the staff nods at us as we walk through the hallway.   "Everything is set, Mr. O'Neal. "

  "What?" I ask.   "What's set?  What are we doing here?"

  "No questions," Gaige says softly.   "Just come with me. "

  He leads me up to the sunroom on the roof, and opens the glass door.   The setting sun bathes the entire room in warm pinks and reds.   Strings of little white lights hang from the roof and down the sides of the glass walls.   The furniture has been cleared away from the middle of the room, everything except for a small table with a white cloth.   And a little eggshell blue box in the middle.

  Before I can say anything, Gaige has the box in his hand and he's down on one knee in front of me.   Tears stream down my face as he opens it.   "I loved you before I knew what it even meant to love someone," he says.   "I want you, forever.   Marry me. "

  I'm saying yes over and over, and Gaige laughs as I pull him to his feet to kiss him.   "Those are good tears, right?"

  "Yes, yes, yes," I say.   "They're very good tears. "  Then I'm laughing hysterically, and Gaige is looking at me like I'm crazy.

  "What did I say?" he asks.

  I shake my head.   "It's the hormones," I say.   "I'm a mess.   I was about to tell you in the car, but you had all of – this planned and –"

  "Tell me what?" he asks.

  I open my purse and hand him my own eggshell blue box, watching his brow furrow.   "Here," I say.   "Open it. "

  "You got me a ring, too?" he asks.

  "No," I say.   "Just open it up. "

  He slides off the lid and holds the tiny spoon in his hand.   "A silver spoon?"

  "They didn't have any rattles," I say.

  I watch as his expression changes and a look of realization passes over his face.   "Really?"

  "Really. "

  "You're fucking serious," he says.   "You're pregnant?"

  I nod.   "You're happy?"  I ask.   "I can't tell.   Are you happy?"

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  He scoops me up in his arms, spinning me around until I'm dizzy, before he puts me back down.   "Are you kidding?" he asks.   "I can't believe you're even asking me that.   Am I happy?   We're going to have a baby?  I'm going to be a father?  I'm going to be a dad!"

  He yells, and one of the housekeepers pokes her head into the sunroom.   "Is everything okay?"

  Gaige walks over to her and hugs her, spinning her around before he kisses her cheek.   "I'm going to be a dad, Marta!"

  Then Gaige bounces back to me.   I don't think I've ever seen him so crazy-happy. I didn't think Gaige got crazy-happy.

  Gaige kisses me full on the mouth.   "I love you, you know. "

  There are few things in life I know with certainty, but that much, I definitely know.