Trade It All, Page 20

  Stopping within inches of her sculpture, Willa placed Lexi’s hands on one of the figures. Lexi explored it then said, “Is it you? I love it.”

  Willa’s heart pounded joyfully as her sister seemed to genuinely appreciate the work. “Touch what she’s looking at.”

  Lexi ran her hand down the surface across from her and traced the raised image on it. “Is it a mirror?”

  “Yes. I tried to raise the outline of it so it would be three dimensional. What do you feel?”

  “It’s you, but it’s different. So this is how you see yourself?” She felt the scar and followed it down the front of the image then moved back up to the expression on the woman’s face. “Yes, that’s perfect. You should be proud of who you are. You’re beautiful, scars and all.”

  “Now follow her hand.”

  Lexi returned her touch to the figure and traced her arm down to her hand. She smiled as she explored how it was clasping another hand. She followed the other arm up to that figure’s face. “That’s me on the other side of the mirror.”

  “Yes.”

  Lexi ran her hands over both the figure on the other side and its reflection in the mirror. Her voice thickened with emotion. “I don’t know that I’m quite as strong as you think I am, but I try.”

  Lexi’s instant understanding of what Willa had tried to capture, along with her willingness to experience it, gave Willa happy goosebumps. We’re back.

  Willa removed Lexi’s blindfold. “You are every bit as beautiful and strong. If you ever doubt that, look at this. Look at us and know how much I love you and value you in my life.”

  Lexi took a moment to appreciate the combination of painting and sculpture then wiped away a tear and hugged Willa. “I don’t know what to say. This is so beautiful.”

  “Just tell me you love it,” Willa said softly. Her sister’s opinion mattered. It always had and it always would.

  “Now I know where you’ve been hiding lately. I thought maybe you were hooking up with someone again and didn’t want to tell me.”

  Willa hugged her sister back. “We’re beyond that.” As she said the words she realized how much she meant them. Lexi had never meant to hurt her and had simply tried to fix the situation. The past had no hold over them anymore. “Besides, I’m taking a break from relationships for a while.”

  “Have you talked to Lance at all?”

  Willa stepped back and shook her head. “Not since I asked him to stop sending flowers, which he still does—every day—and the bouquets keep getting bigger and bigger. It makes it hard to move on.”

  Lexi pressed her lips together briefly then said, “Do you have to move on? Have you considered picking up the phone and letting him explain?”

  Willa clasped her hands in front of her. I thought she understood. It hurts too much. “He doesn’t need to. I know him. He got scared. We have a chemistry that makes both of us stupid when we’re together, but we also have a pattern I don’t want to go through again. I hand him my heart on a platter, and he runs for the hills. He did it ten years ago. He did it again at Cape Cod. When I’m with him I don’t care about the future or if he’ll leave me. All I care about is how good it feels. But when he leaves me, it hurts so much. I can’t do it again. I can’t put myself through that kind of pain again.”

  Lexi sighed audibly. “I hear that and completely understand. We’re good right now—you and I?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “If I ever screw up again, you’ll forgive me, right?”

  “What did you do, Lexi?”

  “Nothing. Just remember that I love you.”

  Don’t panic. She has learned her lesson. She wouldn’t get involved again. “Please tell me you’re not planning to help me with something. Everything is fine. Work. My life. Don’t do anything.”

  “It’s not me.” She waved a hand in air while looking a little offended. “Kenzi asked if we could fly down to Florida to check out some wedding sites with her and Dax. I told her we would.”

  Willa let out a sigh of relief. “That’s it?”

  Lexi shrugged. “I should have asked you before saying you’d go. Kenzi mentioned you weren’t returning her calls. I know you’ve had a lot on your mind lately, but this will be good for us. We’ve always said we’d go to Florida together. Now we will.”

  A memory of their parents promising to take them on a Florida vacation went through Willa’s mind. She gripped Lexi’s hand. “Let’s go to Disney while we’re there. It’ll be amazing. A dream come true.”

  “Let’s hope it lives up to expectations,” Lexi said vaguely. Then smiled. “So, you’re in?”

  “I’m in,” Willa said and thought of something else. “Are you up to the flight?”

  “For something like this, I guess I have to be. Besides, we’ll be in Dax’s private plane. I’m sure they serve martinis.” Lexi studied Willa’s face for a moment then asked, “You do want to go, don’t you?”

  “Of course.” Willa did, but she couldn’t help but think about the last person she’d spoken to about that trip. Lance. Willa was relieved to be in a good place with her sister again—and excited they would finally take the trip they’d talked so much about as children—but a part of her wished she could share it with Lance.

  Stop.

  He’s not part my life.

  Not anymore.

  And I’m okay.

  Kind of.

  In a courtyard of Disney World’s Grand Floridian Resort, Lance paced back and forth. He double-checked that the two-carat engagement ring was still in his suit breast pocket. Thank God. It is there. At least I didn’t screw that part up. He took a deep calming breath. The actual proposal wasn’t what he was having second thoughts about, but rather the delivery.

  After the discussion with his family, he’d decided to ask Willa to marry him in a place she’d told him she’d always wanted to go. He’d felt it was important to bring Lexi. Willa’s dream had been to go to Disney with her, so he wanted to make that happen. He also wanted them to move forward together. First, Willa’s dream. Next, helping Willa heal her family.

  My family.

  After he married Willa, Lexi would be family.

  I hope I don’t fuck this up.

  No, Lance was certain he’d chosen the right venue.

  What he questioned was his decision to tell “Uncle” Alessandro about his plans. Asher had said they’d truly appreciated being there when he’d proposed to Emily, so Lance knew it would be a kind gesture to invite them to this too.

  Two people became fifty. Fifty became one hundred. Lance had imagined a simple event. Simple. Small. Now it included a ballroom full of guests, a Cinderella-style horse-drawn coach Alessandro had commissioned—despite Lance’s protests—a patio where, if everything went perfectly, he would propose . . . while fireworks went off in the background. Not simple.

  Alessandro Andrade had most of his family with him and what appeared to be every child in the New York area. They were well dressed but running wild on the lawns and taking turns going around the property in Cinderella’s coach.

  Lance’s father came to stand beside him. “I’m glad you invited the Andrades. Your mother has grown closer to them this past year. She’s always felt she didn’t have family beyond us, but her sister’s children adore her. This was good.”

  “It’s not quite how I imagined it,” Lance said, loosening his tie with one finger. “I hope it’s not too much.”

  “The coach might be,” Dale said with a smile. “None of this matters or will determine her answer.” He tapped his son’s chest. “What’s in here will. Tell her you love her. Willa’s no stranger to loss. She needs to know you’re in this for the long haul. No matter what. Don’t do this if there is any question in your heart if she’s the one for you. But if you know she is, let yourself enjoy this. Today is a day you’ll describe to your children, and God willing, your children’s children. Make it a good story.”

  Lance looked around with fresh eyes. Every single person t
here, all one hundred of them, had come to celebrate Willa being asked to join his family. He smiled.

  Alessandro came over to join them. “The waiting is the hardest part, no?” He shook hands with Dale and then Lance.

  Lance nodded. His stomach was still doing flips. “I hope she says yes.”

  Alessandro clapped a hand on his back. “Don’t worry, if she says no, we’ll do this again and again until she changes her mind.”

  Dale laughed. “He’s serious.”

  With a carefree shrug, Alessandro said, “The secret to a lasting marriage is to not give up on each other no matter what.” He snapped his fingers. “And always please her first.” He smiled. “Forget that and you’ll be down the hall wondering how you got your own bedroom.”

  Lance exchanged a look with his father then burst out laughing, and his nervousness fell away. “I feel prepared for marriage now. Thank you, Alessandro.”

  “Uncle Alessandro,” the old Italian man corrected with a huge smile.

  Nodding, Lance repeated, “Uncle Alessandro.”

  Sophie appeared at Dale’s elbow. “They’re here. Kenzi texted that they’re parking now. Don’t forget to call Asher so he and Emily won’t miss this. I tried to call Andrew, but he’s not available. This is so exciting.”

  Lance turned to Alessandro and said, “I love that you’re all here. I promise I’ll introduce Willa to all of you, but I need to talk to her alone first.”

  “Asher did it his own way, too,” Alessandro answered then shrugged. “But it worked out for him. So, yes, go have your talk first. Then the Grand Gesture.”

  Not sure what the hell his “uncle” was talking about, Lance agreed simply to appease him.

  Dale put a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

  Sophie stepped forward and hugged Lance. “He doesn’t need luck. We all know she loves him. Now get out there and get me another daughter.”

  Lance stepped back and chuckled at his mother’s playful demand. Playful. She was happy finally, and he felt a sense of ease seeing his mother healing along with the rest of them. “I will.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Bridezilla Kenzi was taking Florida by storm. Her tour of potential wedding sites had not only started in Tampa and extended to Orlando but Kenzi also requested all four of them wear formal attire for their food tasting at the Grand Floridian. Willa hadn’t brought anything Kenzi had considered up to par, so the trip had also included a quick shopping spree—thankfully on Kenzi’s card.

  Willa didn’t feel the need be to dressed in an expensive gown to help decide if the cake at the Grand Floridian was better than the cake at Clay’s Beachside Hotel. But it was important to Kenzi that everything be perfect, so Willa obliged her friend.

  Lexi had been unusually quiet all day, but Willa attributed that to residual nervousness from the flight. Dax didn’t seem at all worried that his bride-to-be was already going a little over the top.

  As they stepped out of their limo—Kenzi’s choice of vehicle, of course—Willa wondered if there was a wedding here today. So many cars. “It looks like there’s a wedding here today. I wonder what they’re like here.” She spotted something white in the distance that was coming closer and exclaimed. “Oh my God, is that Cinderella’s coach? How cool is that? Is it full of kids? It can’t be.” As it came closer Willa gasped. It was full of kids. Happy, cheering children. “Now that is fun.” She turned to Lexi. “Disney is just as magical as Mom described it. Remember? She used to tell us that this was where happily-ever-afters were born.” Willa sighed. Seeing such wonder, she struggled against the disappointment and yearning she felt for her own happily ever after.

  Not everyone gets a happy ending.

  That’s why we pay to come to places like this where we can experience what it would be like—even if for a moment.

  Willa gave herself a mental shake. This was about Kenzi, so she quickly squashed her feelings. “This place . . .” She pushed back her disappointment in her own love life and focused on Kenzi’s. “This place has my vote, Kenzi. Even before we taste the food.”

  Kenzi’s smile widened. “If you like this, you’ll love what comes next.”

  Lexi, Kenzi, Dax, and Willa walked toward the entrance of a large building that housed several ballrooms. The door to the building opened and Lance stepped out. He didn’t stop until he was standing directly in front of Willa. “Hi, Willa.”

  She swayed and took a step back. “Lance. I didn’t know you were meeting us.”

  Kenzi, Dax, and Lexi excused themselves and headed inside the building. Willa almost bolted to go with them, but Lance blocked her escape. “I was an idiot in Cape Cod.”

  Willa raised her hand. “Please. We don’t need to rehash this.”

  Lance took her hand in his and held it even though she tried to pull it free. “We do because I need to explain. I thought you were about to tell me that you loved me, and I didn’t want you to.”

  A cold swept through Willa. “Let go of my hand.”

  Lance didn’t. He grimaced. “That came out wrong. Let me start over.”

  “Please don’t.”

  “I love you. I’ve loved you most of my life, but it took me until now to be able to say it.”

  Willa’s legs wobbled beneath her. She wanted desperately to believe that she’d heard what she thought she’d heard, but she was afraid to. “I’m sorry?”

  Lance dug in his coat pocket. “I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” He dropped to one knee. “Marry me, Willa. I’m a work in progress. My whole family is. I know that. But we need you. I need you.”

  Willa shook her head as she tried to make sense of the sudden shift in Lance. “You really hurt me.”

  “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

  Although a part of her wanted to cry, “Yes. Yes. Yes.” Another part of her was still recovering from the last time she’d believed in him. “I don’t know, Lance.”

  Lance rose back to his feet and took both of her hands in his. “I do. I didn’t before and I’m sorry, but I know now. We belong together.”

  “You didn’t call me at all after Cape Cod. Nothing. Not for a week. Why?”

  Lance’s expression was contrite. “I went to Aruba. I wish I could say that was the only reason, but I also needed to sort out how I felt about you.”

  Willa swallowed hard, keeping a part of her heart protected. “And you’ve done that now?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know if I believe you, Lance. I want to, but I don’t know if I can.”

  Lance blanched. “I deserve that. I should have let you say it that night, Willa. I was just so afraid I wouldn’t say the right thing and I’d lose you again.”

  What Willa had held in for so long came rushing forward, and she knew she couldn’t say yes or no to him until she told him the truth. “I wasn’t going to say I loved you that day. What I needed to say was about what happened after that summer night ten years ago. After we were together.” She closed her eyes briefly for strength, then opened them and plowed forward. “I was pregnant, Lance. Pregnant with your baby, but I was too afraid to tell you. I considered all possibilities, even abortion, then finally decided to keep it.” Her eyes blurred with tears. “But I miscarried. I lost our baby, and it was like losing you all over again. It nearly destroyed me.”

  Lanced cradled her to his chest, shattered by the news. “Willa, I don’t know what to say. I had no idea.”

  Willa breathed in the scent of him, not sure if she would ever be so close to him again. “I know you didn’t. No one did.”

  He released his hold and raised her head by placing a finger beneath her chin. Looking in her eyes, he said, “I was young. I was stupid, but I would have been there for you. You have to know that. I am so sorry you went through that alone. I would do anything to be able to go back and shoulder that pain for you, or to stand with you as you went through it. I should have checked on you. I knew the condom broke. It’
s my fault you were alone through that. I let you down. No wonder you couldn’t look at me. I should have been there for you, Willa. Give me a chance, and I’ll be there now and every time you need me from this moment on. I swear to you I will.”

  Willa searched his face and the love she saw in his misty eyes melted away the wall she’d erected to protect her heart. She’d known him for over twelve years, and he wasn’t one to lie. He hid his heart, but he was a good man. She understood what others would have seen as his flaws. It was habitual, instinctive for him to pretend, hiding away his true emotions. But . . . he wasn’t hiding his feelings from her. He meant every word he’d said. The truth was in his eyes. He looked as devastated now as she had felt when she knew she was losing the baby. She reminded herself of what she’d acknowledged in her sculpture. I don’t need Lance to be okay. I am stronger than anything that can happen to me or anyone who can leave me. I’m not more or less than Lexi. I’m simply Me. And, I don’t have to hide anymore. I may be afraid, but my fears will no longer rule me. I won’t throw away this chance of happiness because it can be torn away from me. My ability to love and forgive is my strength, not my weakness.

  His face contorted with pain and he didn’t hide the tear that spilled over. “I would do anything to be able to go back and be the man you thought I was. I should have been at your side through everything. I will be from now on, Willa. I love you.”

  He loves me.

  Believing him, believing in him is my choice. I could walk away and protect my heart, or I can take this leap of faith.

  I choose him.

  She would always feel the loss, but now she wasn’t alone in that loss. “I love you, Lance Barrington.” I always have. “Lance, I do love you.”

  He laid his forehead on hers. “Does that mean you’ll marry me?”

  “My head is spinning. I need a minute.” Things with Lance were always full speed, and she simply needed to take a breath before agreeing.

  Lance took a piece of paper out of his pocket. It was a design for the City Complex. In the middle of it was a spot circled with her name written on it. “I knew there was something missing in my designs and my life, Willa. It was you. I want you to be part of this project. You can choose what the centerpiece of the complex will be or you can design it yourself.”