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Trade It All

Ruth Cardello


  With a sideways look, Lance said, “I can handle this, Asher.”

  Asher shrugged, but stayed at his side. “Just be clear about what you want, Lance.”

  Lance looked skyward. “That’s what I’m doing.”

  “Tell him that you understand the risk, but what you feel for Willa makes this necessary.”

  “How do you feel about her?” his father asked in his deep, don’t feed me nonsense tone.

  “I don’t know yet, Dad—”

  “I would have gone with something more definitive,” Asher added dryly.

  “But I know I want to give whatever we have a real chance. I want to lay a strong foundation for it. She needs to know that I care about her. That’s the reason I brought her today. If that upsets anyone, they’ll have to get over it.” Lance ended his impassioned explanation by crossing his arms over his chest. He braced himself for his father’s reaction. Willa deserved to feel valued, no matter where their time together led. He refused to feel badly about bringing her home as a way to do that.

  His father blinked slowly a few times as if processing the scene before him. “Asher’s right, Lance. You’ve always made sensible choices. Willa’s a sweet woman who has been a good friend to your sister. I’m proud of you for treating her as you are.”

  Lance nodded and relaxed. He doubted his father would approve of how he planned to spend the next couple days with Willa, but that was one topic that didn’t require disclosure.

  “Are we good?” Asher asked.

  Dale made a pained face. “I had a question for Lance which was the reason I wanted a moment alone with him.”

  “About?” Lance didn’t like the expression on his father’s face. Something was brewing.

  “Dax had an interesting reaction when he came in with Kenzi and we told him you were bringing someone with you today. He wanted to know who it was. I said I didn’t know, and I could tell he wasn’t pleased with the answer. Kenzi was happy, so I’m assuming she knew it was Willa. I don’t understand Dax’s reaction. Is anything going on between the two of you that I should know about?”

  “Nothing that I know of, Dad,” Lance answered honestly. Unless his nose is out of joint that Willa chose me and not his friend, but it’s hard to imagine him caring.

  Dale laid a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “You know you could tell me.”

  “There’s nothing, Dad.”

  Asher shrugged and said, “I haven’t heard anything.”

  “Okay,” Dale said with a sigh. “Just tread lightly around him today. He might be upset about something completely unrelated to you, Lance, but I don’t want another brawl erupting with you boys. Not here. Not anywhere. I’ve never seen Kenzi this happy.”

  The three men walked farther into the house to the living room where his family had gathered before dinner. Willa was seated next to Kenzi and Emily on a couch just across from his mother. Ian, Grant, and Dax were off to one side, talking. They all turned and looked over as Lance, Asher, and their father entered. Willa smiled, and this time it was a genuine one that lit up her eyes as well. Even here, in his family, Willa fit, and it warmed Lance’s heart.

  He walked up behind the couch, bent to give Kenzi a kiss on the cheek, then gave Willa one as well. She blushed, but looked pleased. He crossed over to greet his mother who was smiling from ear to ear. When he leaned down to kiss her cheek, she said softly, “Good choice, son. I always hoped you would end up with her.”

  He murmured back, “It’s just dinner, Mom.”

  She took both of his cheeks between her hands. “You’ve made me very happy.”

  Lance smiled and straightened. At least someone was happy to see him with Willa. He headed over to where his brothers were standing with Dax. As soon as his eyes met his future brother-in-law’s, Lance knew his father’s instincts were spot on. If looks could kill, Lance would have been lying in a pool of his own blood.

  Asher looked back and forth from Lance to Dax and strode over to stand between them. Asher’s eyes narrowed at Dax in warning. Dax looked back, unimpressed. The smile he shot at Lance was little more than a baring of teeth.

  Grant was the first to speak. “I always knew you had a sweet spot for Willa.”

  Ian added, “I’ll miss watching you pretend not to moon over her. I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did. I know we told you to stay away from Kenzi’s friends, but who knew you’d listen?”

  Dax’s hand clenched on his beer mug. “How a man treats women says a lot about who he is.”

  “Yes, it does,” Lance said slowly. Did Dax know about what had happened back in Nantucket all those years ago? Willa might have told Kenzi. Kenzi might have told Dax. Sleeping with Willa back then, taking her virginity, wasn’t something Lance was proud of, but he also didn’t consider it any of Dax’s business. “Which is why I brought her here today. We just started dating, but I don’t want to hide it.”

  “How good of you,” Dax growled.

  Lance threw up a hand. “Do you have a problem with me?”

  “Many,” Dax said, then looked across at where the women were sitting. “But I’m trying to keep them to myself.”

  “Try harder,” Asher said in a low, threatening voice.

  Grant glanced at his father and mother. “This isn’t the place to do this. Dax, if you have an issue with Lance take it up with him later.”

  In his smooth, politician-style voice, Ian said, “There are always two sides to every story. Dax, whatever you think you’ve heard about Lance, it’s probably wrong. As a kid, he wouldn’t even step on ants for fun. So, I’d question your source.”

  His hands clenching at his sides, Dax growled, “My source has no reason to lie, and I don’t have to tell Lance what he did. He knows. What he doesn’t know is that being Kenzi’s brother won’t protect him if he fucks up again.”

  All three of his brothers turned their eyes on Lance as if he were suddenly on trial. Lance wasn’t sure if Dax was referring to Willa, but he intended to find out. “Why don’t we step outside and talk, Dax?” Lance suggested between clenched teeth.

  Dax shook his head. “I’m not sure I could do that without sending my fist down your throat. I don’t want to hear your side, and I don’t need to say anything more, because we now have an understanding, don’t we?” With that, Dax walked away and went to sit beside Kenzi.

  Asher frowned at Lance. “What the fuck did you do?”

  Grant weighed the possibilities, then said, “Kenzi had to have said something to Dax. Did you say something to upset her?”

  Lance didn’t respond. His mind was racing. He and Kenzi were on good terms. This had to be about Willa. It didn’t add up. Why would Kenzi act like she wanted Lance to go out with her friend, but then tell Dax she didn’t want him to?

  Ian pocketed his hands and rocked back onto his heels. “You need to figure it out before it blows up in your face, Lance. Fix it. There’s no winning in this situation. If we side with you, we side against Kenzi. We can’t do that.”

  Asher flexed his hands. “I could take Dax.”

  Grant sighed. “No one is taking anyone. Something obviously upset Dax. Are you sure you don’t know what he’s talking about, Lance?”

  Lance lifted and dropped a shoulder. “Why would I lie?” He looked over and caught Willa’s eye. She had been laughing but suddenly looked concerned when she saw his expression. He forced a smile to his lips. “Willa and I were together briefly, a long time ago. Kenzi might have told him about that, but his reaction is extreme to say the least.”

  Looking as if he was trying to solve a puzzle, Grant added, “Unless Willa said something to him. She works in his office now, doesn’t she? Is she upset with you about something?”

  Lance met Willa’s eyes across the room. He wanted to say no, but he wasn’t sure. He remembered what she’d said about the past being too much for her to be able to deal with.

  Because she was a virgin?

  Because I kissed her sister?

  Was it what I s
aid to her later out of anger?

  She wouldn’t tell Dax any of that, would she?

  And, if that’s it, I will feed Dax’s fist right back to him. He’s no fucking saint, and we welcomed him into our family.

  From Willa’s expression, it was obvious she knew Lance wasn’t happy. He tried to reassure her silently. It wasn’t something he wanted to discuss with her right then, but they’d be alone soon enough.

  Why, Willa? What is it that Dax knows that you haven’t shared with me? You said you were willing to start fresh.

  Dale walked over to join his sons. “Is everything all right?”

  When none of them answered him, his gaze flew to where Dax and Kenzi were sitting. “He’s family now or very soon will be. Whatever is going on, you need to settle it in a way that doesn’t change that.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Willa was relieved when, after dinner, everyone flowed into the living room for coffee. Even though the meal itself had been perfectly executed by the Barrington’s cook, Willa had barely touched any of the courses. There was tension at the table that she couldn’t help feeling she was the cause of.

  Lance hadn’t left her side, but not in the flirtatious, attentive way that would have left her smiling. He hovered over her protectively, which only put her more on edge. Does he regret bringing me?

  Only the women in the room seemed happy with how the evening was going. The men kept their expressions carefully neutral. Willa didn’t know what had been said, but she prayed Dax hadn’t said anything. The look of disgust in his eyes when Lance spoke made her nervous that he had.

  Why did I ever say anything?

  Who needs enemies when I can sabotage my own happiness?

  Willa wasn’t sure what to think when Emily pulled her off to the side. “Can I ask you a question?”

  I’m not saying anything. I’ve already said too much. “Sure,” Willa answered.

  “Kenzi told me you were reading her aunt’s journal. I wanted to ask you what you thought.”

  Journal? Oh, yes. “I was supposed to, but it never happened. Why?”

  Emily placed her hand on her stomach. “I could be paranoid because I have baby on the brain, but I still get goosebumps every time I think about how obsessed their aunt was with Sophie’s last pregnancy. She hated her so much for having a girl when she’d never had one herself. Then all those numbers. They have to mean something.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “To have a nasty woman like that fixated on your babies and then for one of them to die—” She shuddered. “What if she did something to the baby?”

  “Kenzi’s twin died in the hospital from premature complications.” Even as Willa said it, her stomach lurched. She didn’t want to think about babies, not having them, not losing them.

  “Asher doesn’t want to talk about it. Do you know if they were given the body?” Emily’s eyes were large and round.

  Whoa, that came out of nowhere. “I think Kenzi said he was buried with Dale’s family.” Willa said softly. The last thing she wanted to do was be caught talking about Kent during what was already an awkward evening.

  Emily let out a relieved breath. “Oh, good. That puts my mind at ease. I know how taboo this subject is, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That journal could be used in psychology courses as an example of how a sociopath thinks. She was a nasty woman. I’m glad I never met her.”

  “I don’t know that Kenzi or her brothers ever did, either. Sophie distanced her children from her sister’s family.”

  “She was smart to.” Emily laughed nervously. “I’m sorry I even brought it up, but I didn’t want to say anything in front of Lance. I don’t want anyone to think I’m looking for trouble. They’ve all warmly accepted me, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ll drop this now. If the past holds any secrets, maybe they’re better left alone.”

  Willa smiled weakly. Her eyes darted from Dax to Lance. I couldn’t agree more.

  From across the room, Lance frowned as he watched Emily and Willa have a private conversation. He didn’t know what they were talking about, but it was something that looked like it was making Willa uncomfortable. Lance didn’t like confrontation, but he liked secrets even less.

  In an amused voice, Kenzi said, “You and Willa make a cute couple.”

  “We’re not yet a couple. Not officially.”

  “But you brought her here.”

  “I did,” Lance said. He was a planner who always factored the worst-case scenario into his strategy. When it came to being with Willa, that side of him seemed to turn off. He went from one misstep to the next. “It doesn’t mean what everyone seems to think it does.”

  Kenzi’s eyes darted to his. “What does it mean?”

  “That I like her, and I don’t care who knows. That I want to date her and see where it goes. Does it have to be more than that?”

  Kenzi leaned against Lance and hugged him. “No, it doesn’t. That sounds like a nice place to start.”

  Dax looked over at them then looked away. The way Kenzi tensed beside Lance told him she was aware that there was a problem. Might as well address it. “Your fiancé keeps looking at me like he’d enjoy wringing my neck. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  Kenzi chewed her bottom lip. “Willa said something to Dax last week. I don’t know the details because she asked him not to say anything to me. He almost didn’t, but he was worried and wanted to make sure I knew to check in on her. He wouldn’t tell me why she was upset, but it has something to do with you. I know he doesn’t always show it the way we would, but Dax cares about us. All of us. He’s also very protective, especially after I shared what happened to me. Did you and Willa have an argument?”

  “No. We’ve actually been getting on really well.” Lance’s thoughts did a tailspin. He went over the past couple of days with her. Was it possible that she wasn’t enjoying their time together as much as he was? It was a question he’d never had to ask himself with other women, but with Willa he wasn’t sure.

  Confused, Kenzi shook her head. “He might have misunderstood something she said. I haven’t had the chance to talk to her about it yet, and as she had asked Dax not to tell me, I don’t feel I can ask her yet. She’s a private person, Lance.”

  But she opens up to Dax? “I don’t understand Willa.”

  Kenzi’s expression turned sympathetic. “Give yourself time. Give her time. When she’s ready, she’ll open up and let you in.” She looked across to Dax. “And I’ll talk to Dax.”

  Lance wanted to storm over and demand that Willa tell him what she’d said to Dax, but he didn’t. He’d repeatedly asked Willa why she was still upset with him. They could go around and around that subject a hundred more times, and he was sure she wouldn’t tell him.

  But apparently she told Dax.

  He looked down at Kenzi and remembered how he’d felt the day he’d heard what had happened to her in high school. She’d hidden that pain from everyone, and it had nearly destroyed her.

  Willa had said her feelings ten years ago had been real. Was that the pain festering within her? Had he hurt her that badly?

  She came to me that night. I didn’t pursue her. Maybe I wasn’t ready to jump out of bed and into a relationship, but how long do I have to fucking apologize for being twenty and stupid?

  I don’t need this. Let her keep her secrets and her grudges.

  Things were a hell of a lot simpler without her.

  His eyes were drawn to where Willa was talking to Grant and his parents. She said something that made them laugh. Emily walked over with Asher, and it looked like Willa was asked to start the story over. He could watch her forever and never get bored. The way she tipped her head to listen. The huge smile that came easily to her sweet lips. Images of how she’d look, freshly fucked, spread across his bed surged through his mind.

  No other woman had ever compared to her.

  He doubted any ever would.

  I’m going to fucking end up like Neil. He made a frustrated growl
deep in his chest. I need to slow down before we crash and burn again.

  “I hope I didn’t make the situation worse.” Kenzi hugged his arm.

  Lance laid his hand on his sister’s. “You didn’t.” He noticed Dax watching them and asked, “I need to talk to Dax, though.”

  Kenzi looked across at Dax with love in her eyes. “I think that’s a good idea, but don’t sugarcoat anything. He’d rather know the truth, even if it’s not pretty.”

  Finally, something Dax and I are in complete agreement over.

  Before Lance had a chance to do anything, though, Willa came over to join him. Her cheeks were flushed from laughing with his family, and it was difficult to think about anything past how he felt when she smiled and laced her fingers through his. “I was telling your parents about the first apartment Lexi and I rented together. Do you remember it, Kenzi?”

  Kenzi smiled and made a small square with both of her hands. “It was so tiny you used to joke that people had to take numbers if more than one wanted to visit.”

  Willa chuckled. “I had this old trunk I’d bought at a yard sale. I thought it would be the perfect post-college storage solution until we couldn’t find a place for it in the apartment.”

  “So you tried to wedge it in the closet,” Kenzi said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

  Laughing harder, Willa met Lance’s eyes. “And I got my arms stuck between it and the wall.”

  Drawn into the fun of the memory, Lance let everything else fall away. “What did you do?”

  “My cell phone was in my back pocket.”

  “So, she hopped up and down until it fell out,” Kenzi added.

  “Which was not an easy feat, but I did it,” Willa said with pride. “Then I kicked off my shoes and socks—”

  “And called me,” Kenzi finished, laughing so hard she was gasping for air. “I think I still have that photo saved somewhere.”

  Waving a finger in warning, Willa warned, “What kind of friend takes a picture before they rescue you? Your sister, Lance, that’s who. Bring it on, Kenzi. Payback will be fun. I have quite a collection of blackmail photos of you.”