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Without Regret, Page 81

R. L. Mathewson

Page 81

 

  “Why the hell not, Chris? You love kids,” Joshua reminded him as if he’d somehow forgotten.

  “I love you guys and I’ll no doubt adore and spoil whatever little demons you have, but I don’t want any kids of my own, Joshua,” he said, giving his brother his back as he loaded up, pulling a Kevlar vest of his head and trying not to wince when it brushed against his sore ribs.

  He didn’t have to ask to know that he was a lucky son of a bitch. He remembered how f**ked up his ribs and lung were last night or rather this morning. There was no question in his mind that he should be dead.

  “What about her?” Joshua demanded.

  “What about her?” he asked, not bothering to look over his shoulder.

  “Does she want this baby? She’ll never forgive you if you push her into getting rid of a baby she wants,”

  Joshua pointed out unnecessarily.

  “It doesn’t matter if she forgives me or not. She’ll be on the island where she belongs,” he said, loading up on weapons and wondering how badly his father wanted to pull over the van to rail into him about this.

  “You’re still going to send her away?” Joshua asked hollowly.

  “Yes,” he said with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever.

  “But-“

  “There are no buts, Joshua. We have no future together,” he said firmly, hating who and what he was for the first time in years. He hated having to make a choice between Izzy and his family. He hated this f**ked up situation and he f**king hated knowing that he had to send his mate off to a f**king island just so he could sleep at night, knowing that she was okay.

  For the first time since he found out that he was different he wondered what it would be like to be a regular man, with a regular job and a normal life expectancy. Would he have turned out like the loser that so many people predicted? Or would he have proved them all wrong and straightened out and made something of his life? Would he even be good enough for Izzy?

  No, he wouldn’t. He knew that without question. Hell, he wasn’t even good for her now and he was supposed to be her soul mate, her other half. He was supposed to protect her and be there for her and he couldn’t even do that without f**king up and leaving her vulnerable.

  The best thing he could do for her was to send her where someone could.

  “As soon as we reach the compound she’s leaving,” he said, ignoring the way his heart ached at the thought of being without her. He’d only known her for a few days, but already she’d become his entire world and he couldn’t allow that, not if he wanted to keep her and his family safe.

  “That’s not your choice. ”

  He chuckled without humor. Why did it not surprise him that his little mate was still being stubborn?

  “Yes, you are,” he said evenly, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder and soak up the image of her and burn it into his memory.

  “No, I’m not,” she said firmly as the van rolled to a stop.

  He ground his jaw and kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to fight with her. They didn’t have much time left and he wasn’t about to waste it on petty bullshit, besides he needed to keep his mind on the job ahead.

  They needed to get her inside the compound and soon.

  “Izzy, no!” Joshua yelled, the same time something black flashed in his peripheral vision.

  He turned around just in time to see his little mate trying to make a run for it. She had the back door open and was desperately trying to pull herself out of the van, but thankfully his brother had her by the ankle, her bare ankle. Chris swore roundly as he looked his mate over and when he did he sent a murderous glare at his brother who had the balls to smile ruefully as his mate’s bare ass swayed back and forth as she tried to kick Joshua’s hand off.

  Throwing his brother one last glare, he grabbed the hem of the large black tee shirt, Joshua’s tee shirt and the knowledge that she was wearing it didn’t piss him off, not at all, and yanked it down to cover her adorable little ass before he yanked her back and slammed the door shut.

  He threw his brother a glare as he said, “Get up front with dad. ”

  Joshua grabbed another gun and a box of ammo. With a put out sigh, he unlatched the privacy barrier’s door and slid it open and moved through it.

  “I think your son’s pissed because his mate wants me,”

  Joshua said, chuckling.

  “You noticed that too, huh?” his father said, sounding amused.

  Bastards.

  Joshua threw him a wink as he slid the panel closed and locked it, leaving him with his half-naked and really pissed off mate.

  “Let me go!”

  “Nope,” he said, letting the word pop as he grabbed her shirt and yanked it off, hoping his brother hadn’t worn it. He needed it to be completely enveloped in her scent.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she practically screeched as she reached up and covered her br**sts, well tried to. They were large after all. The reminder had his c**k stirring in his pants.

  He released her so he could pull his vest and shirt off.

  He tossed them to the side and grabbed the shirt he’d taken off her and pulled it on. It was a tight fight, but he managed. When she lunged for the door, he didn’t bother stopping her. He knew his father probably disabled the lock from his end.

  “Damn it!” Izzy snapped, trying to shove the door open.

  “Were you really going to run buck na**d through Boston?” he asked as he carefully laid back down on her makeshift bed.

  She threw him a glare over her shoulder. “Yes!”

  Her glare instantly turned into a frown when he gestured for her to come to him.

  “What?”

  “If we’re going to get you into Boston safely then I need you to do a little something,” he explained, feeling his patience fray. They needed to haul ass and get this over with.

  “Do what?” she asked cautiously, hugging herself even tighter as she looked around small space.

  “To rub all over me of course. ”

  Chapter 39

  “I’m sorry, what’s this now?” she asked, already knowing that she’d misheard the man.

  “I need you to rub all over me,” he said, opening his arms and gestured for her to come to him. “Now get your cute little ass over here and commence with the rubbing. ”

  “Why?” she asked cautiously as folded her arms over her chest, well aware that it was useless trying to cover the damn things up with only her arms. Then again it was kind of pointless trying to cover up in front of the man who’d spent the better part of yesterday licking and touching every part of her body.

  “Remember that fun little experience in the clearing the other night?” he asked.

  Her eyes narrowed to slits on him as she hissed out a, “Yes. ”

  “Well, there will be a lot of those in human form as well as demons waiting for a chance to hunt you down. I just need your scent to confuse them for a few minutes. ”

  If possible her eyes narrowed just a little more. “Why?”

  “So that I can get you into the compound,” he said in a tone that indicated that she was slow, something she didn’t appreciate at all.

  “No, I meant, why do you want my scent. You’re not planning on doing any stupid, are you?”

  “Of course not. It’s just a distraction,” he said, but the way he shifted his eyes made her feel a little uneasy.