Within the Walls of Westfield - A Diary of Madness
Peter Davidson
Case #357597
Published by Peter W. Davidson
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Copyright 2012 Peter W. Davidson
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Please note: this is a text-only version of a full-colour product I have created.
If you would like access to the PDF of the full work (which is included in the cost of purchasing this ebook) please see my contact information at the end of this ebook.
Publisher note: This transcript was discovered by [anon] after clean-up operations began at the Westfield Psychiatric Hospital on 1st October 2009. At this time we have sufficient reason to believe its contents to be accurate, and true. No other documentation of any kind was recovered from Westfield. Most of the following pages are the original copies – some sections were fragile and worn and so had to be re-typed to our best ability.
[Case Report #357597]
Transcripts of events & multiple interviews concerning J.W.Gray
Notes by Dr. Henry Renholm, Ph.D
Dr. H.R. Case Log - First entry, 24 August 2009
Jonathan Whitehall Gray has been under my observation here at [censored] for several months now. So far he has displayed no outward signs of communication or interaction with the world or any of his fellow inmates at the institution. It is my belief that the events of the few months preceding his incarceration here have left his mind fractured and severely impaired.
Publisher note: [censored] would likely have been the Westfield Hospital name, blotted out to protect the establishment and those working there.
Details of the events of June-July 2009 which consequently saw Mr Gray placed here for treatment by the D[illegible]A are unclear. I still hold a small hope that he will regain some semblance of consciousness and that we may talk about those events together. An understanding of his perspective on things would greatly aid in my attempt to rehabilitate him. For now, we simply make him comfortable and wait for him to, as it were, come back to us.
Publisher note: D[illegible]A could be the DEFRA (Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs) though why, and indeed if, they were involved with Mr Gray’s events is unclear, and unprovable.
01 September 2009
This morning, a guard here monitoring the CCTV observed Mr Gray suddenly spring from his bed and begin removing his fingernails violently using his teeth. By the time an orderly reached the room with aid, it was discovered that he [Mr Gray] was writing on the walls using his bloodied fingers. The orderly stopped him and bandaged his fingers. No struggle was made and Mr Gray returned to his catatonic-like state. Mr Gray appeared to have written “Patient I A.” before being stopped. Given the context and narrow phrase used, I suspect that had he been left to continue he would have written “Patient I Am”. Two possible interpretations of this exist.
“Patient, I Am”, a suggestion of biding time or of waiting for something specific to occur.
“Patient I Am?”, a question about his incarceration or a statement that he understands he is under my care.
Publisher note: Taken as one word, “Patientia” is the Latin word for “Suffering”. I am surprised the Dr did not discover this and include it in this document.
03 September 2009
At around 2am last night, Mr Gray appears to have begun gnawing at his own arm. He was found this morning to have severe flesh wounds to his left forearm, apparently having chewed and swallowed several chunks of his own skin and muscle tissues. Strangely, the video footage from his room shows him pacing the room for several hours after consuming the flesh, staring at the camera intensely for the duration of his activity.
It is a shame that there is no sound recording capability of our CCTV system, as he appeared to be moving his mouth in speaking manner. Our efforts to lip-read his speech on playback of the video footage have been unsuccessful. We should look at installing audio recording equipment in his room for future occurrences.
For now, he has been treated medically and returned to his room. A rotation of guards and orderlies will be placed outside his door to observe him 24/7 from now on.
04 September 2009
It was observed this morning that Mr Gray seems to be showing signs of more outward behaviour whilst around other people. The orderlies have noticed him watching them [staring at them may be a better description actually] while they move around the lounge. He makes sharp, jerky head movements towards the direction of loud singular noises. On occasion he tries to speak, though little more than a rough vocal cough has been heard so far. I am hopeful that these are good signs that he is observing and trying to communicate with us. We will continue to aid him as we have, and see if this improvement continues.
06 September 2009
Further improvements in mobility and vocal activity increasing. Mr Gray has not been observed to slip into another comatose state for several days now. This is a good sign.
08 September 2009
Further improvements in mobility and vocal activity increasing. Mr Gray is now able to walk to and from the lounge area without physical assistance from an orderly. His ability to speak appears to have returned, though he does not say much at all. It is my hope that any day now I will be able to conduct a formal interview with him.
09 September 2009
Today there was an incident. While in the lounge area, Mr Gray attacked a fellow patient here, Mrs [censored]. The attack was, by all reports, violent and deliberate, without provocation. Mrs [censored] suffered several broken bones, and bite marks were found around the neck and forearms. She is currently in a stable condition in our medical wing. Mr Gray, having been restrained in his room, shows no signs of remorse or guilt for his actions. He spent several minutes trying to break out of his restraints, causing some minor injury to himself in the process. A short time after being left on his own in his room, he returned to his apparent catatonic-like state, yet seems to become roused when people enter the room or speak to him through the door.
I must admit to being worryingly dumbfounded at present. What is it that this man is going through? What causes a man to slip in and out of a coma like this? And how does it relate to his experiences prior to coming to us? I really need to speak to him, or rather, get him to speak to me.
Tomorrow.
Yes
Tomorrow, I will conduct an interview.
10 September 2009
This morning I spoke briefly with Mr Gray. According to the orderly at his door, Mr Gray had not moved nor spoken since the previous day. Upon my entering the room Mr Gray ‘awoke’ if such a term could be used to describe the event.
Below is a transcription from the audio I recorded. I will need to speak with him again for more information. He seems willing to answer questions, though is struggling with much of his memories of recent events. Despite the restraints he is in, at all times I felt uneasy being in his presence.
Publisher note: Unfortunately, none of the audio or video files which the Dr writes of were found at Westfield during the clean-up operation. It is likely they were destroyed.
[tape starts]
HR: It is 10.30am on the 10th September 2009. Conducting interview one with J.W.Gray.
[sound of door opening and then closing]
HR: Good morning, Mr Gray. Would you prefer I call you Jonathan? John?
JWG: Father called me Jonathan. Mother called me John. Sis called me Jonnie. I never liked my name. Gray. Just call me Gray.
HR: OK Gray, my name is Dr Henry Renholm. I have been taking care of you here for a while now. Do you know where you are?
JWG: Hell. I’m in Hell.
HR: What makes you say that?
JWG: [aggravated] Can’t you feel it??!! Th
e burning inside? The pulling at your every string by unseen demons who force you to do their will?....
HR: John…. I’m sorry, Gray, you are not in Hell, I assure you. You are safe here, and I am here to help you. OK? Now, I need you to relax, and breathe easy. Tell me what you remember about the last few years. Where did you live? Let’s start there.
JWG: I…. I lived…. Outside of Munford…. I had a cottage, next to a river… on Hillview Court…. with my wife and…. daughter.
HR: Do you recall their names?
JWG: [showing visible signs of struggling to remember] Anna… my wife, her name… was Anna.
HR: Was?
JWG: Yeah.. she, she died. She died when…. when….
[silence]
HR: OK Gray, OK. How about your daughter, do you remember her name?
JWG: … yeah… she, her… name was Marie.
HR: Again, um, was?
JWG: She died too. After Anna did. I think… it’s hard… why is it hard to remember?
HR: Don’t push yourself, Gray, it will come back in time. And, well, I’m very sorry to hear of your losses Gray, truly.
JWG: It doesn’t matter, at least [choked sob] at least they’re at peace. Not like me. Haunted, controlled, afraid… pulled in all directions but with nowhere to go… a remnant.. a shadow... condemned.
HR: Gray, I’d like you to do something for me. I’d like you to try and remember what happened a few months ago, this year. Say around, June time. Can you think about that for me, for next time we speak?
[silence]
HR:
