Little by Little



  Little by Little

  By

  Palvi Sharma

   

  Copyright© 2015 by Palvi Sharma

  All Rights Reserved

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living or dead or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.

   

 

  Other Books from Author

  Published by Club Lighthouse Publishing:

  Repeated Lives

  Repeated Lives Book II: Talia’s Return

  Francesca and Eliza

  Awakened One Night

  Unraveling the Darkness

  Her First Dance

  The Bell Tower

  Tina’s Gimmick

  Broken Glass

  The Last of Him

  A Seasonal Moment

  Wings ePress

  Author's Blog: https://youngadultebooks.blogspot.ae/

  Little by Little

  Dear Diary

  It’s my sixteenth birthday today and what do I get? Not a new phone, not a clutch or even the charm bracelet I showed my parents at the mall. No, I get a stupid old grey leather-bound diary to write all my thoughts in feelings in. Yeah, really really love this. Not!

  Why am I even writing this entry to you? There’s no one called Diary. I’m writing to you as if you can talk or listen. Nope, you’re just a boring old diary with lined yellow pages. I can understand if you were a colorful little book that would slip easily into my purse. But no, you’re large and boring and you have this weird odor that I can’t place.

  Anyway, Mom and Dad were really excited to give you to me. Like this was the one thing I always wanted. It’s not like I have a laptop where I can type my thoughts in a word processor and save it. Nope. I have to write in you by hand. There isn’t even a lock on this thing. I bet Nina can’t wait to read this diary. Why are ten-year old kid sisters so annoying!

  I think my parents have me this stupid diary on purpose. So that they could find out what’s going on with me. That would explain why there’s no lock on this. Like I would ever tell them all my secrets.

  I’m never writing in this thing again. Ever!

  Dear Diary

  Yesterday I broke Mom’s favorite serving plate and blamed it on Nina. Phew! It feels so good to get that out. Of course I’ll never tell anyone that I was the one who did it. It’s not my fault that Mom keeps all the good treats on the top shelf and her favorite plate write underneath.

  I know I should feel bad for Nina, but hey, what else are little sisters for if not to take the blame for their big sisters?

  Dear Diary,

  Alright, it’s been a month since I confessed to breaking the plate in my diary and Mom has still not scolded me for it. I guess maybe she isn’t reading the diary after all. Or Nina for that matter.

  Obviously I didn’t break the plate. Just testing on whether my family would be reading my diary or not. Maybe I should just find a good hiding place for you. Under the pillow is too obvious right? Under the bed?

  Maybe I’ll just hide it in my closet underneath a pile of clothes. I think it would be safe there.

  Oh, unless Mom decides to clean my closet for me. Would she? In that case, I’ll just hide you in one of my old teddy bears. I saw it in a movie once. I’ll cut the seams of the teddy at the back, remove some of the stuffing and put the diary inside. That should work!

  Dear Diary

  That did not work. Ugh! Mom decided that it was time I gave all my toys to Nina and she took my teddy. I had to wait until she went out to play with her friends to creep into her room and steal my diary back.

  I think this is too risky. I don’t think I want to write all my secrets and troubles in you.

  I guess I’m never going to write in you again.

  Dear Diary

  So something happened at school and I can’t tell anyone. Not my parents and definitely not Shelly who was parading as my best friend. That backstabber!

  I just don’t know what to do or how to handle this. I’m sixteen and I should be able to handle my own problems. But I can’t figure out how to solve this problem.

  Dear Diary

  It’s the weekend and everyone has plans! Except me of course.

  Even Nina has plans!!! She’s off to her best friend’s birthday party. Speaking of best friends…I mean EX- best friends!

  Now that I’m not friends with Shelly anymore, I have no one else to hang out with. All my classmates are siding with her after what she said about me. Whatever!

  I guess I’ll just do something. Homework I think. I do have an assignment to submit next week. So much to do, so little desire to do it.

  Dear Diary,

  The only reason I’m writing in you is because Nina spilled her apple juice all over my laptop and I can’t use it anymore. Dad says I can use his, but until he’s done with his work, I’ve nothing much to do.

  I know I’m supposed to find a way to get over my problems at school, but it’s so difficult. I know I should talk about this, but how can I expect my parents to understand what it feels like to be betrayed by someone you trusted so much.

  Mom and Dad have their happy childhood stories. No one betrayed them. Their best friends didn’t try to poison everyone’s minds against you. They would never understand what it’s like to feel like an outcast and have no one to talk to or hangout with.

  I know I can get through this. But I don’t know how…

  Dear Diary,

  Landed a C in my assignment. Mom says I can do better, Dad thinks I didn’t conduct a good enough research and showed me informative sites on the internet. Nina paraded around the house with her test paper that had a huge gold star on it. My parents were so proud of her- as if she had won a gold medal in the Olympics or something.

  When I was her age, I got two gold stars on my math test once. And it was a surprise math test. Let’s see her score that high when she’s not prepared for it.

  In other news, Shelly is throwing herself a birthday party and invited my whole class. Guess who’s not invited?

  Me.

  Dear Diary

  It’s Shelly’s birthday today. While everyone is at her birthday, here I am, all alone at home while my parents have taken Nina out shopping for a new dress, because she has so few of them apparently.

  Last year when it was Shelly’s birthday and I was still her friend, I made such a big deal about it. I gifted her a small necklace with a small locket that had the words “BFF” engraved on it. Then we went for coffee and watched a movie together before heading to her house for cake. We even had a sleepover and we gossiped the whole night.

  I wonder what she did with that necklace? Probably chucked it in the ocean.

  Dear Diary,

  This is hard, but I was watching a show and the doctor said that if we can’t talk to anyone, we can write down our feelings in a journal. So here goes….

  Six months ago, when Shelly and I were still friends, we were hanging out in the cafeteria and gossiping about the new guy in our school.

  Shelly turns suddenly and squeals: Look Olivia, it’s Mark! Is he coming towards us?

  I should have known it then, by the excitement in her eyes and her high-pitched voice. How did I never notice how annoying her squeaky voice was?

  Anyway, he passes by us and gives me this wide smile. I smiled back and told Shelly how cute he was. Shelly quieted and I still didn’t get what had happened then.

  A week later, I finally reveal to Shelly how I had a major crush on Mark and was planning to tell him about my feelings. That was when it happened.

  I was planning to talk to Mark after the weekend and when it was over, I found my best friend with Mark right outside the school. They were
talking and before I could make my way over and see what was going on, Shelly stands on her tiptoes and kisses him.

  I must have looked like an idiot, standing there with my mouth dropped open. With tears in my eyes, I turned and ran to the bathroom. Once I had cried my heart out, I wondered if I had misread the situation and decided to talk to Shelly.

  The minute I enter the class, Shelly pushes past me and goes to sit next to Mark. They were holding hands!

  Shelly ignored me the whole day and when it was lunchtime and I was about to go sit with her, she raised her voice (so that the whole damn school could hear) and tells me that she couldn’t sit with me anymore.

  Mark wasn’t there or my humiliation would have been complete. I walked away with my head held high and tears burning my eyes. I was back in the bathroom and crying my eyes out. When some girls from my class entered, I hid in the stalls and that was when I heard that Shelly had proposed Mark before the weekend had begun.

  Then they talked about how “poor” Shelly was being bullied by me and how I had threatened her to stay away from Mark. Those two vapid idiotic girls gushed about how happy they were for Shelly who