Silence, Page 30

I felt sick to my stomach that we were almost back in England. Our perfect holiday was officially over. Cole and I would have to pretend that nothing was going on for a little while.

  I had to figure out how Dad would react when we told everyone. Would he be okay with me and Cole being together? He’d already acknowledged that I was growing up, and he was giving me more freedom. I’d been two years since it stopped. Was he really ready to let me go? I hoped so. I wanted that more than anything.

  Cole watched out of the window with a sad smile. What was he thinking? When it came to the two of us, I had no idea what was going through his mind.

  I sat back in my seat and tried to act as if not knowing what was going on with him wasn’t sending my mind spinning. “I hate the end of holidays,” Mia grumbled, flopping down in Jasper’s empty beside me. “The plane home is the most depressing thing ever.”

  I can’t agree more. Reality was the worst. I would rather live in that holiday state where everything was perfect forever. Nothing was perfect, though. I knew that. I couldn’t even fool myself into believing that I could have that, not even now. I was too damaged to have anything touch me and stay perfect. All I could hope was that I didn’t taint Cole.

  “How’d it go?” Cole asked Jasper, smirking as he sat down on Mia’s seat in the row beside ours.

  I don’t even want to know.

  Jasper’s eyes lit up, and he slammed his fist into his chest. “I just joined the mile high club!”

  Yes, I definitely didn’t want to know. I grimaced and looked past Cole and out of the window. If I had to hear about it I was going to jump.

  “Of course you did!” Mia scoffed. Mia and Jasper argued like brother and sister. She hated his womanising but sympathised with the reason behind it. Jasper gave up on his cheating ex. Mia couldn’t bring herself to do the same.

  “Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Mia.”

  “You think I’m jealous of you screwing some random in a stinking, dirty plane toilet? Wow, you really are up your own arse,” she argued, shaking her head.

  “Firstly, the toilet didn’t smell, and secondly, I got her name first, so she wasn’t random. It was one of the best experiences of my life. The girl could sure—”

  “Thank you!” Cole snapped. “We don’t need your details, man.”

  I pressed my leg against his and smiled, thanking him for stopping my brother talking. Jasper didn’t have a filter for when he was in the company of people who might not want to hear about his exploits.

  For the rest of the plane ride, I cloud watched out of the window. Cole, Jasper and Mia bickered. Occasionally I’d listen in and want to jump again. I loved them all, but they were crazy.

  Cole laughed at Jasper’s stories a few times, and it made me wonder if he wanted to do those things, like having sex outside or on a plane. That really wasn’t for me. Cole had made sex feel normal and beautiful, but I didn’t think I would ever be one of those people that had to have it everywhere.

  I just hoped that I could be enough for him.