The Tale of Genji, Page 79

  “You are too unkind! How can you talk that way? Why, there would be nothing wrong with her looking after him even if he were a girl, and a boy, however exalted, is perfectly all right!110 Please do not put any such cruel ideas into my lady's head!”

  Genji smiled. “I see I need only leave the two of you to sort things out on your own. What nonsense to imagine I go around putting ideas in people's heads! You seem to be the ones who creep off to hide and say awful things about me!” He swept the curtain aside, and there she was, leaning against a pillar of the chamber, looking very handsome and dauntingly composed. There, too, was the box, which she had felt it would be undignified to conceal in haste.

  “What is that box? It must mean something. You must have a long, long poem from some lover of yours in there.”

  “You are dreadful! You seem to be a boy again, and sometimes you say the most impossible things!” She was smiling, but she and her daughter were clearly upset as well. Genji cocked his head quizzically. “These are records of prayer offerings made and of vows not yet acknowledged.111 They came up quietly from the cave112 at Akashi,” she said, embarrassed. “I thought that I might ask you to look at them if I found the moment to bring them to your attention, but this is not the time, and I should be obliged if you were to leave the box unopened.”

  He understood that she might well feel deeply about the matter. “What practices he must have done! Having lived a long life, he must over all those years have amassed a great deal of merit. Some people in this world may have taste and learning, but however clever they may be, they turn out on closer acquaintance to go after all only so far, being perhaps too deeply mired in the profane world, and they certainly come nowhere near him. What an extraordinarily discerning, far-seeing man! He never put on holy airs or made himself out to be otherworldly, but underneath he seemed to live fully in the realm beyond our senses, and by now, with all the ties that bound him gone, he has certainly renounced this world for good. I would like very much to go quietly to see him, if only I were at liberty to do so.”

  “It appears that he has left his home and withdrawn to a mountain so remote that no birds sing there.”113

  “Then this is his last testament! Have you been in touch with him? I wonder how your mother feels. Her tie with him must be even stronger than a daughter's to her father.” There were tears in his eyes. “The more I learn of him over the years, the more I feel strangely fond of him, and I can imagine how deeply you must be affected, since you were so much closer to him.”

  It occurred to the Consort's mother that her father's account of his dream might explain many things for Genji. “I have a letter from him, so eccentrically written that it might as well be in Siddham,114 and I think that some of it might interest you. I knew when I left that I would not see him again, but it is true that he still means a great deal to me.” She wept decorously.

  Genji took the letter. “Why, the writing has great authority! I see nothing vague or decrepit about it. In calligraphy as in so many other things he could have been called a master; all he lacked, really, were some of the practical skills of life. I gather that something happened during the period of wholly wise and valuable service that the Minister his ancestor devoted to the realm, and that that is why his line died out, although one can hardly say that he had no successor on the female side. All that, I suppose, is thanks to his prayers.”

  He wiped the tears from his eyes and considered the part about the dream. People criticized him for his strangely overweening ambition, he thought, and I myself could not help feeling that I should never, never have done it. It was not until our little girl was born that I knew how powerful the bond between us was, and even then I had no idea what lay behind it in the unseen past. So this was what claimed his faith and fed his improbable hope! It is for him that I unjustly suffered such trials and wandered in exile! What can those prayers of his possibly have been? He took up the papers with great curiosity and also with reverence.

  “I myself have something to add to these for you,”115 he said to the Consort. “I shall let you know about it soon.” He went on, “Now that you have some idea what lies in your past, do not for a moment take lightly the goodwill of the lady in my east wing. A stranger's passing kindness, or a thoughtful word or two, may make more difference than any natural or inevitable tie, and I can assure you that she is no less devoted to you than your mother, even though your mother is now always beside you. It might seem wise to conclude from well-known examples116 that the goodwill of someone like that is all on the surface, but even if that were so, and her intentions were in fact not kind, you could easily make her feel guilty about her treatment of you and so change her mind by ignoring it and being quite open with her. The nicest people in the world have always had their fallings-out, but example suggests that they always manage to get on when one or the other is truly blameless. Someone who is always touchy, someone who makes no effort to please and who spurns other people, is difficult to like and also thoroughly inconsiderate. Not that my experience is that wide, but it seems to me when I consider the way different people are, that they all have something to say for themselves in taste or accom. Everyone has some sort of merit—no one has nothing to offer at all—but you know, when you go seriously about looking for just the right companion in life, it is still not easy to make the choice. When it comes simply to being nice through and through, I think the lady of my east wing here can be described as genuinely good and kind. Some people, though wellborn, are still all too heedless and capricious, and that is a very great shame.” The Consort's mother could easily imagine who that meant.

  Genji lowered his voice to continue, “Now, you seem to understand certain things, and that is excellent. The two of you must be friends and look after our Consort together.”

  “You need hardly say that, because the more I see of her rare quality, the more often I talk about it. She would never have acknowledged me as she has done if she objected to me or was offended by my existence. On the contrary, she is so kind that I am actually embarrassed. It pains me a great deal anyway, when I think what people must be saying, that I who matter so little should still live on, but you know, she always protects me as though there were nothing wrong with me at all.”

  “I doubt that she really does it for you. I expect she is just concerned about our Consort, since she cannot always be with her herself, so that she leaves her to you. At the same time, though, the way you refrain from putting yourself forward or making any claims of your own does a great deal to make things go smoothly, and that pleases me very much. When someone who lacks proper sense becomes involved with someone else, the result can be unpleasant for the other person as well. It is reassuring that you are both beyond reproach in that regard.” He returned to the east wing.

  Yes, she thought, it is a good thing that I have tried to efface myself. Why, he seems only to think more and more highly of her! There certainly is far more to her than to most people, and it is a pleasure to see how thoroughly she deserves it. As for Her Highness, the honor he pays her is all on the surface; he can hardly be said to visit her often, and that is an affront to her pride. The two are close relatives, but she, poor thing, is after all a step higher. Such musings brought to mind the extent of her own good fortune. Things did not always go well even for them, exalted though they were, while she who could not claim to stand beside them now had nothing in life to regret. The only thing that troubled her was the thought of her father, who had gone into the mountains forever. Meanwhile her mother the Nun put her faith in the line about “sowing seeds in the garden of happiness”117 and absorbed herself entirely in thoughts of the life to come.

  The Commander could easily have aspired to Her Highness himself, and her presence so close at hand thoroughly roused him; he frequented her residence whenever the occasion allowed it, on the pretext of simple civility, and therefore came naturally to know a good deal about her. She was at all times girlishly and obliviously serene, and although His Grace's scrupul
ously correct treatment of her might have set an example for the ages, there was no sign that she actually meant much to him. Few of her women were really grown-up, most of them being young things with pretty faces who did little but primp and preen, and she had such a crowd of them118 that gaiety reigned all around her; the quiet ones would not have wished to betray themselves, and if any had secret cares, such company swept them up into the same untroubled merriment as the rest. They were like children caught up day and night in youthful games, and Genji, whose nature it was to grant that there are all kinds of people in this world, allowed them their way since they so enjoyed it, but it by no means pleased him. He never tried to stop them, but he did very well at teaching Her Highness herself, and he managed to get a little sense into her.

  The Commander gathered from all this that in Murasaki his father really did have someone rare. Her manner and disposition were such that in all these years she had not once started any rumor or drawn attention to herself, for she was prudent through and through; and yet she was kind as well, never stooping to belittle anyone and behaving with enchanting grace. He would never forget that glimpse he had had of her. His wife had no great merit or any particular wit, despite his deep affection for her. Familiarity had dulled his enthusiasm now that all was settled between them, and at heart he still found it hard to turn his thoughts from the varied charms of the ladies his father had brought together—especially Her Highness, of course, since, considering her birth, his father showed no sign of any great interest in her, and he could tell that his father was only keeping up appearances. Not that he had anything untoward in mind, but he did not want to miss any chance to see her.

  The Intendant of the Gate Watch, who often went to wait on His Cloistered Eminence, had seen for himself at length just how highly he valued his daughter. As soon as those deliberations began, he had let his hopes be known, and he had gathered, too, that His Eminence did not find them impertinent. When she went to someone else, he was too bitterly disappointed to have given her up yet, and it brought him a sad sort of comfort still to have news of her through the gentlewoman whose good offices had served him then. He heard that people often said she was overshadowed even now by the mistress of Genji's east wing, and he protested frequently to Kojijū, whose mother's breast Her Highness had shared, “I may presume too greatly, but I would never have caused her that sort of unhappiness! Of course, I realize that I am hardly the man to aspire so high.” Life being ever changing, his enduring hope was that His Grace one day might actually take the step he had planned so long.119

  A man with a short bow

  One mild day in the third month His Highness of War, the Intendant of the Gate Watch, and the rest gathered at Rokujō. Genji came out to converse with them. “Life here is so quiet that I have extremely little to occupy me lately,” he said. “There is simply nothing happening, either at home or at court. How am I ever to get through these days?

  “The Commander was here this morning,” he added. “Where can he have disappeared to? Things are so dull that I had hoped at least to enjoy the usual small-bow archery contest.120 The young men who are keen on that sort of thing were all here—I wish he had not gone.” He was told that the Commander was off in the northeast quarter, watching a kickball game that he was having them play. “It is perhaps rather a rough game,” Genji observed, “but it is lively and requires skill. Well, then, have him come here.”

  The Commander arrived with a crowd of young gentlemen. “Did you have them bring the ball?” Genji asked. “Are so-and-so and so-and-so with you?”

  The Commander said they were.

  “Why not play here?”

  The east front of the main house made a discreet area for the purpose, since the Kiritsubo Consort was at the palace with the young Prince.121 They set off to find a promising spot where the two garden streams came together. His Excellency the Chancellor's sons—the Chamberlain Consultant, the Second of the Watch, the Commissioner, and the others not yet fully grown—stood out among the rest.

  The sun was beginning to sink when the perfect, windless day proved to be too much for the Chamberlain Consultant, who could no longer resist joining the game.122 “You see?” Genji said. “The Consultant could not contain himself. Senior nobles or not, why should you young guards officers not have a bit of fun, too? At your age I hated just to sit by. It is undignified, though. Just look at them!”

  The Commander and the Intendant went down into the garden, where they, too, looked very fine, roaming about in late-afternoon sunlight beneath the gloriously blossoming trees. Kickball is hardly a stately sport, being quite boisterous and rough, but much depends after all on where it is played and who plays it. Mists shrouded the park's lovely groves, while beneath trees abloom in many colors or just putting forth new green, young men vied for the chance to excel, forgetting that it was only a game. Each face shone with the resolve not to be bested. The Intendant of the Gate Watch stood head and shoulders above the others in skill, even though he joined them only briefly. He was a very handsome, graceful man, polished in manner and therefore all the more amusing to see when animated. Both Genji and His Highness came out to watch from the corner of the railing. There beside the cherry tree at the foot of the steps they were so intent on their sport that they had forgotten all about the flowers.

  Skill told more and more, and as round followed round,123 the ranking gentlemen became very lively, and their headdresses slipped back a little from their foreheads. The Commander well knew that for a man of his standing he was letting himself go, but to the onlookers he seemed younger and more delightful than the rest in his rather soft, cherry blossom dress cloak and with his trousers, somewhat full at the bottom, hitched up just a trifle. When cherry petals fell like snowflakes on his comely figure, spirited but not in the least unkempt, he looked up, picked off a broken branch, and sat down with it on the middle step.

  The Intendant followed him. “The blossoms are scattering fast, aren't they,” he said. “Like the wind, we should keep our distance.”124 He darted a sidelong glance toward where Her Highness lived, and detected presences bustling about there as usual; the many colors visible through the blinds, or peeping out beneath them, reminded him of the gods' bright offerings in spring.125

  He noted that they had casually moved the standing curtains aside and were indecently close to the veranda. Just then a very small and pretty Chinese cat darted out from under a blind, pursued by a somewhat larger one and followed by a practically deafening rustle of silks as the women inside rushed about in alarm and confusion. The cat must not have been quite tame yet, because it was on a long cord in which it became entangled, and its struggle to escape lifted the blind to reveal the space immediately beyond. No one moved quickly to mend the gap. The women who had just been near the pillar seemed flustered and a little frightened.

  There was a curtain against the blind, and a step back from it stood a young woman in a gown.126 In that position, on the east side of the second bay127 west of the steps, she was in perfectly plain view. Her many layers of darker to lighter color—red plum blossom, perhaps—like the pages of a book set her off sharply, and she seemed also to have on a cherry blossom long dress in figured silk. Her hair, rich all the way down and nicely trimmed, swept cleanly and most beautifully to the floor seven or eight inches behind her. Slender and slight as she was, her skirts were quite long, and her hair and figure seen from the side had an inexpressibly elegant appeal. However, the light was failing, and the Intendant was deeply disappointed not to see more clearly into the shadows of the room. Her women must have been intent on watching the young men absorbed in their game, oblivious of the falling petals, because they did not immediately notice that they were exposed. Her look and movement when she turned to glance at the loudly mewing cat conveyed charming and utterly guileless youth.

  The shocked Commander could not possibly take the liberty of going to help, and he therefore confined himself to clearing his throat in warning, at which the lady slipped ba
ck out of sight. He, too, would actually have been glad to see more of her, and he found himself sighing once the cat had been freed. The Intendant's heart, which was hers anyway, naturally all but stood still: for who else could it have been? Dressed as she was, there was no mistaking her among the others, and the sight remained graven in his heart. His expression betrayed nothing, but the Commander could not believe that he had failed to notice, and he felt sorry for her. To relieve his powerful feelings the Intendant called the cat and cuddled it, and with its delicious smell and its dear little mew it felt to him naughtily enough like its mistress herself.

  Genji looked over at them. “That is no place for senior nobles to be sitting. Come with me,” he said, and he went in at the front of the east wing. Everyone followed. His Highness remained with him, and they continued their conversation. The privy gentlemen had round mats put out for them on the veranda. Camellia cakes, nashi,128 tangerines, and other such things then appeared, quite informally, mixed together in box lids, and the young men ate them merrily. Then there was wine, accompanied by the appropriate dried seafood.

  The thoroughly pensive Intendant gazed vacantly for the most part at the blossoming cherry tree. The Commander, who knew him, had no doubt that he was remembering the figure they had so unfortunately glimpsed beyond the blinds. He must be thinking that it was silly of her to be so near the veranda, he told himself. Why, the lady here would never do a thing like that! That is why she really interests my father less than her worldly standing suggests she should. This girlish obliviousness of hers, toward herself as well as others, is certainly charming in its way, but it is obviously worrying, too.

  However, her shortcomings meant nothing to the Intendant, because through that chance gap he had actually seen her, however indistinctly, and this was a joyous omen that what he had so long desired was really to be. All he wanted was more.