Blackbird
Molly McAdamsCopyright © 2017 Molly McAdams
Cover photograph © MaeIDesign and Photography/www.MaeIDesign.com. Adapted from a design by Letitia Hasser/RBA Designs
Author photo © Molly McAdams
The right of Molly McAdams to be identified as the Author of the Works has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
First published in this Ebook edition in 2017
by HEADLINE ETERNAL
An imprint of HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library
eISBN 978 1 4722 4752 0
HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP
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Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
About the Author
Praise for Molly McAdams
By Molly McAdams
About the Book
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Epilogue
Look out for Firefly
Find out more about Headline Eternal
About the Author
Molly McAdams grew up in California but now lives in the oh-so-amazing state of Texas with her husband, daughter, and fur babies. When she’s not diving into the world of her characters, some of her hobbies include hiking, snowboarding, travelling, and long walks on the beach . . . which roughly translates to being a homebody with her hubby and dishing out movie quotes. She has a weakness for crude-humoured movies and fried pickles, and loves curling up in a fluffy comforter during a thunderstorm . . . or under one in a bathtub if there are tornadoes. That way she can pretend they aren’t really happening.
Want to keep up with Molly and her upcoming releases? Subscribe to her newsletter: www.mollysmcadams.com/newsletter, find her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/MollyMcAdams or follow her on Twitter: @MollySMcAdams.
Get swept away by Molly McAdams’s spellbindingly powerful love stories:
‘I’m in awe. This is writing. This is romance’
Rachel Van Dyken, No. 1 New York Times bestselling author
‘McAdams delivers another devastatingly satisfying page-turner . . . that is sure to please her fans and all devotees of searing contemporary romances’
Booklist
‘This story has all the usual McAdams elements: It’s funny, sexy and twisty – not to mention the scenes are wickedly hot . . . And, remember, McAdams loves to throw major curveballs, so plan accordingly’
Romantic Times Book Reviews
‘A story that will undoubtedly touch on every single emotion. No one can paint each page with equal parts triumph and tragedy the way Molly McAdams can’
Jay Crownover, New York Times bestselling author
‘Consuming. Enthralling. Sexy. MIND-BLOWING. From the very first line to the very last page, Blackbird sank into me and didn’t let me go. This is Molly McAdams at her best! A must-read that will have you questioning all your emotions as you fall in love with this unforgettable story’
A. L. Jackson, New York Times bestselling author
By Molly McAdams
Redemption Series
Blackbird
Firefly (coming July 2017)
Thatch Series
Letting Go
To The Stars
Show Me How
Sharing You Series
Capturing Peace (novella)
Sharing You
Forgiving Lies Series
Forgiving Lies
Deceiving Lies
Changing Everything (novella)
From Ashes Series
From Ashes
Needing Her (novella)
Taking Chances Series
Taking Chances
Stealing Harper (novella)
Trusting Liam
Standalone
I See You
About the Book
Briar Chapman is going to be the death of me, and I don’t care. I’ll take every day until that death comes, and I’ll welcome it when it does.
On the outside, Lucas Holt is what nightmares are made of. A man cloaked in darkness, with sin-filled eyes and an enticing grin. A devil so devastatingly beautiful and cruel that his very presence instils fear.
But beneath his terrifying, ever-calm exterior is an affectionate man haunted by a past that refuses to stay buried. And Lucas looks at me as though he’s finally found the only person who can make it all go away.
We’re in a battle of the brightest day and the darkest night – and I want to lie in the wake of our war.
For Rachel.
Because I absolutely adore you.
Acknowledgments
Cory – None of this would be possible without you. I love you for everything you are and for how you take care of us. Thank you for being wonderful, incredible you.
Mom – Thank you for being such a champion for this book from the very first day. I love you so much.
Rachel Elliott – Really, I don’t think this book would’ve ever happened if it weren’t for you. He will always be for you. I love you, seestor.
A. L. Jackson – I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you to come to. Having you there for me means the world. Thank you for being the best writing partner, rambler, and inspiration.
Amanda Stepp – I feel like I’ve already said everything so many times before. I love you . . . I’d be lost without my soul friend. Besides, we both know I can’t write a blurb to save my life!
Kevan Lyon – Thank you for letting me have this. Your support means the world to me. I couldn’t have asked for a better agent to be on this journey with.
Molly Lee – I’m so thankful to have found the other half of my Molly Squared. Thank you for everything—the calls and endless messages mean the world to me.
Letitia, Marion, Karen, and Julie �
Thank you, thank you, thank you! A million times thank you for helping me through this transition period. Youâve all made it such a wonderful experience.
My Readers â I absolutely adore all of you, and I hope youâve enjoyed finally getting this story . . . I know it has been such a long time coming. There has not been a single day in almost three years where someone hasnât asked for this story, and I love that I could finally give it to you.
Prologue
Briar
âTrust me.â His voice was low, his tone barely hinting at his plea as he placed the material over my eyes, wrapping it around my head and tying it in a knot. Making it so the darkness and his voice and the terrifying memories were all I was aware of.
His mouth passed across my cheek then my lips . . . lingering there as he spoke. The ache in his whispered words nearly bringing me to my knees. âIâm sorry I have to force you to relive those days, but Iâll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.â
I wanted to reach out for him when I felt him move away from me; I wanted to cling to him and his voice and his words . . . but memories began to grip and suffocate me. I could no longer move. No longer breathe.
A shuddering breath finally burst from my chest and my body began trembling. My lips automatically began moving out of fear as a song begged to be freed.
My entire being thrashed and rebelled against the memories that flashed through my mind as I stood in the enforced darkness. Memories that felt so real as if they were happening now instead of all those months ago.
My body shook harder, and I nearly screamed, âHow can this be happening to me?â
But it wasnât real. Not anymore.
Iâd lived a life made up of rules and appearances. I was told what to wear, how to act, and when to speakâor sing.
Even when Iâd found the man I thought I wanted to spend my future with, nothing felt like it was my own. But Iâd been happy with our life and excited for the days to come.
Until they didnât.
Until I was forced into a world Iâd been blind to and came face to face with the devil.
A man cloaked in darknessâa man who would set me free.
A man hidden in a world I vowed to destroy with him by my side.
âBriar.â
I whipped my head to the left when his voice sounded from across the room, barely loud enough to hear. My shaking grew stronger, and when I felt his dark, dark presence slip behind me, the song Iâd been trying so desperately to hold back bled out as a whisper.
âI know him. I know the man behind me,â my mind screamed. But those screams couldnât be heard while I was consumed with memories he wanted me to surrender to.
His breath stirred the loose hair on my neck, and just before his arms wrapped around me, he spoke in a low, sinister tone that sent chills up my spine. âFight me.â
Chapter 1
The Dark Room
Briar
I didnât know day from night, or how many hours or days had passed while I was unconscious. I only knew the nausea and headache when I awoke, and then the awful stench soon after.
It smelled like human waste and bile, and soon I added to it as my stomach forced up any trace of food it held. Hard sobs wracked my body as I tried to free my hands from where they were zip-tied behind me, but it didnât give.
Oh God. Where am I? I need to get out of here.
âHelp,â I croaked then gagged again. âHelp.â I repeated it louder and louder until I was screaming it.
âStop.â
I froze at the hushed word and strained to hear anything in the dark.
âHello?â I asked hesitantly.
âStop,â the feminine voice pled again.
âWho areâ?â
âHush.â
I heard the rustling of a bodyâbodies. I couldnât tell how many, but it sounded like a lot.
âIf you donât stop, theyâll come in here.â
I wanted that. I needed to get out of wherever I was. âSomeone help,â I screamed. âHelp me!â
More women were hushing me, some in languages I didnât know, but I didnât stop.
A metal door slid open and slammed shut, and I paused as unease crawled through the room and made its way to me, fear sliding over me like oil. I didnât know what had just entered the room, but I bit my lip to keep from making another sound.
The room was dark enough that I couldnât see the floor, and I hoped the darkness would hide me from whoever was here with us . . .
The sound of heavy boots grew closer and closer, every now and then hitting what sounded like a puddle or squishing something. My stomach rolled.
Just when I thought the boots would pass by me, a hand pressed my head roughly against the floor.
âNo, no, nââ I thrashed against the strong hold, screaming when something pinched my neck.
My loud sobs tore through the room, echoing back to me as the heavy boots moved back in the direction theyâd come. When the metal door screeched open, I pled for someone to help me. But my words were soft and slurred.
No one hushed me again, and no one came to save me as darkness engulfed me.
âBeautiful,â a familiar voice whispered into my ear. A pair of warm arms curled around my waist, pulling me back against his chest.
I bit down on my bottom lip, abruptly cutting off the song that had been flowing from my mouth. Despite my sudden unease, I couldnât stop my smile as my fiancéâs lips ghosted along my neck.
âDonât stop,â he pled just as gently.
My smile slipped even as a hum of appreciation slid up my throat from the feel of Kyleâs teasing lips on me, but I didnât continue singing. He knew I wouldnât.
When seconds ticked by with nothing, he laughed against my shoulder. âYouâre so confusing, Briar Rose.â
My body stilled, already knowing what he would say next.
âNever heard a voice like yours, but you wonât let anyone hear it.â
âThatâs not true.â I turned in his arms when another breath of a laugh left him and worried my bottom lip as he studied me with a challenging expression. âI just . . .â I lifted one shoulder when I couldnât find the words to explain it.
âWonât let anyone hear you,â he provided, echoing his previous statement.
âYouâve heard me . . .â I blinked quickly as I tried to think back, then sputtered out, âcountless times.â
âAnd you stop singing every time you realize Iâm listening. Is there anyone you donât stop for when you realize theyâre close enough to hear you?â
Not anymore I thought as stabs of pain and betrayal sliced through my anxiousness.
My nannyâs face flashed through my mind, and I heard her words as clearly as if she were whispering them to me. âEvery fear and every worry fades to nothing when you sing, Briar Rose. Your voice is your comfort and your security . . . donât let anyone take it from you.â
My parents had attempted to do exactly that years later. It was the first time I could remember them paying attention to me, pretending to be the loving parents they always shouldâve been.
It took a few years too long to realize their love was conditional.
Ever since, Iâd been leery of anyone who pushed me to further my future with my voice, and eventually anyone who wanted me to sing for them.
I tried to ignore conversations with Kyle when he asked instead of pushed, and kept telling myself one day he would understand. But that day had still yet to come.
âWhat could you be afraid of with a voice like yours?â he asked when I didnât respond. âPeople would crawl over each other to be able to listen to you. Others would fight to represent you if thatâs what you wanted.â
My lips curved at the corners in the faintest of smiles, and I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck. âIâm not scared,â I said, soft enough so he wouldnât detect the tremble in my voice. âI grew up in a world where nothing was my own. I want my voice to remain mine. Not something on display . .
. not something my parents try to control.â
âThis? Where we are? Itâs no oneâs world but ours, Briar.â Kyleâs head dipped low so his mouth could brush across mine. âConfuse me. Just donât stop singing around me.â
After four years, he still couldnât understand, and I was beginning to doubt he ever would.
I forced a smile when I pulled away from the kiss and tried to change the direction of his thoughts and the conversation. âTechnically this house is only yours for two more weeks.â
âMy ring is on your finger, your clothes are in the closet, and I came out to find you making coffee, wearing nothing but my shirt. Ours.â
âAnd what would the governor say if she found out about that?â I asked with a wry smile and raised brow. He lifted me onto the granite island countertopâhis hands slipping under the shirt I was wearing.
âIâd like to see her try to say anything.â
I inhaled sharply when Kyleâs fingers moved over my breasts as he pushed the shirt up, up, upâ
And exhaled just as fast when his phone began ringing.
His light eyes flashed with annoyance, but he and I both knew who was calling at this time on a Sunday, just as we knew he had to answer her call.
âSpeak of the devil,â he muttered under his breath as he released the shirt and grabbed the phone from his jeans pocket. Irritation leaked through his tone when he answered. âWeâve never forgotten a brunch before, Mom, weâre not going to forget todayâ Because you arenât calling at the best time.â Kyleâs grin was slow and mischievous. âYeah, sheâs hereâ Yesâ Iâm sure youâre extremely surprised.â His free hand traced up one of my thighs and forced them apart when I tried to squeeze them shut.
âYou are on the phone with your mother,â I hissed, low enough that my voice wouldnât carry through the phone.
âMom, I need to go. Weâll see you at brunch.â
I bit back a whimper when he ran his fingers over where I was bare and ready for him, and slapped at his chest when I noticed the hungry, yet amused, look on his face.
âYou can tell me this at brunch. I really need to goâ Momâ Moâ Never mind. Bye.â He hung up and tossed his phone on the island countertop next to me, and grinned wolfishly when I smacked his chest again.