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Blackbird

Molly McAdams



  Copyright © 2017 Molly McAdams

  Cover photograph © MaeIDesign and Photography/www.MaeIDesign.com. Adapted from a design by Letitia Hasser/RBA Designs

  Author photo © Molly McAdams

  The right of Molly McAdams to be identified as the Author of the Works has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  First published in this Ebook edition in 2017

  by HEADLINE ETERNAL

  An imprint of HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP

  Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.

  All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library

  eISBN 978 1 4722 4752 0

  HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP

  An Hachette UK Company

  Carmelite House

  50 Victoria Embankment

  London EC4Y 0DZ

  www.headlineeternal.com

  www.headline.co.uk

  www.hachette.co.uk

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  About the Author

  Praise for Molly McAdams

  By Molly McAdams

  About the Book

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Epilogue

  Look out for Firefly

  Find out more about Headline Eternal

  About the Author

  Molly McAdams grew up in California but now lives in the oh-so-amazing state of Texas with her husband, daughter, and fur babies. When she’s not diving into the world of her characters, some of her hobbies include hiking, snowboarding, travelling, and long walks on the beach . . . which roughly translates to being a homebody with her hubby and dishing out movie quotes. She has a weakness for crude-humoured movies and fried pickles, and loves curling up in a fluffy comforter during a thunderstorm . . . or under one in a bathtub if there are tornadoes. That way she can pretend they aren’t really happening.

  Want to keep up with Molly and her upcoming releases? Subscribe to her newsletter: www.mollysmcadams.com/newsletter, find her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/MollyMcAdams or follow her on Twitter: @MollySMcAdams.

  Get swept away by Molly McAdams’s spellbindingly powerful love stories:

  ‘I’m in awe. This is writing. This is romance’

  Rachel Van Dyken, No. 1 New York Times bestselling author

  ‘McAdams delivers another devastatingly satisfying page-turner . . . that is sure to please her fans and all devotees of searing contemporary romances’

  Booklist

  ‘This story has all the usual McAdams elements: It’s funny, sexy and twisty – not to mention the scenes are wickedly hot . . . And, remember, McAdams loves to throw major curveballs, so plan accordingly’

  Romantic Times Book Reviews

  ‘A story that will undoubtedly touch on every single emotion. No one can paint each page with equal parts triumph and tragedy the way Molly McAdams can’

  Jay Crownover, New York Times bestselling author

  ‘Consuming. Enthralling. Sexy. MIND-BLOWING. From the very first line to the very last page, Blackbird sank into me and didn’t let me go. This is Molly McAdams at her best! A must-read that will have you questioning all your emotions as you fall in love with this unforgettable story’

  A. L. Jackson, New York Times bestselling author

  By Molly McAdams

  Redemption Series

  Blackbird

  Firefly (coming July 2017)

  Thatch Series

  Letting Go

  To The Stars

  Show Me How

  Sharing You Series

  Capturing Peace (novella)

  Sharing You

  Forgiving Lies Series

  Forgiving Lies

  Deceiving Lies

  Changing Everything (novella)

  From Ashes Series

  From Ashes

  Needing Her (novella)

  Taking Chances Series

  Taking Chances

  Stealing Harper (novella)

  Trusting Liam

  Standalone

  I See You

  About the Book

  Briar Chapman is going to be the death of me, and I don’t care. I’ll take every day until that death comes, and I’ll welcome it when it does.

  On the outside, Lucas Holt is what nightmares are made of. A man cloaked in darkness, with sin-filled eyes and an enticing grin. A devil so devastatingly beautiful and cruel that his very presence instils fear.

  But beneath his terrifying, ever-calm exterior is an affectionate man haunted by a past that refuses to stay buried. And Lucas looks at me as though he’s finally found the only person who can make it all go away.

  We’re in a battle of the brightest day and the darkest night – and I want to lie in the wake of our war.

  For Rachel.

  Because I absolutely adore you.

  Acknowledgments

  Cory – None of this would be possible without you. I love you for everything you are and for how you take care of us. Thank you for being wonderful, incredible you.

  Mom – Thank you for being such a champion for this book from the very first day. I love you so much.

  Rachel Elliott – Really, I don’t think this book would’ve ever happened if it weren’t for you. He will always be for you. I love you, seestor.

  A. L. Jackson – I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you to come to. Having you there for me means the world. Thank you for being the best writing partner, rambler, and inspiration.

  Amanda Stepp – I feel like I’ve already said everything so many times before. I love you . . . I’d be lost without my soul friend. Besides, we both know I can’t write a blurb to save my life!

  Kevan Lyon – Thank you for letting me have this. Your support means the world to me. I couldn’t have asked for a better agent to be on this journey with.

  Molly Lee – I’m so thankful to have found the other half of my Molly Squared. Thank you for everything—the calls and endless messages mean the world to me.

  Letitia, Marion, Karen, and Julie �
€“ Thank you, thank you, thank you! A million times thank you for helping me through this transition period. You’ve all made it such a wonderful experience.

  My Readers – I absolutely adore all of you, and I hope you’ve enjoyed finally getting this story . . . I know it has been such a long time coming. There has not been a single day in almost three years where someone hasn’t asked for this story, and I love that I could finally give it to you.

  Prologue

  Briar

  “Trust me.” His voice was low, his tone barely hinting at his plea as he placed the material over my eyes, wrapping it around my head and tying it in a knot. Making it so the darkness and his voice and the terrifying memories were all I was aware of.

  His mouth passed across my cheek then my lips . . . lingering there as he spoke. The ache in his whispered words nearly bringing me to my knees. “I’m sorry I have to force you to relive those days, but I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

  I wanted to reach out for him when I felt him move away from me; I wanted to cling to him and his voice and his words . . . but memories began to grip and suffocate me. I could no longer move. No longer breathe.

  A shuddering breath finally burst from my chest and my body began trembling. My lips automatically began moving out of fear as a song begged to be freed.

  My entire being thrashed and rebelled against the memories that flashed through my mind as I stood in the enforced darkness. Memories that felt so real as if they were happening now instead of all those months ago.

  My body shook harder, and I nearly screamed, “How can this be happening to me?”

  But it wasn’t real. Not anymore.

  I’d lived a life made up of rules and appearances. I was told what to wear, how to act, and when to speak—or sing.

  Even when I’d found the man I thought I wanted to spend my future with, nothing felt like it was my own. But I’d been happy with our life and excited for the days to come.

  Until they didn’t.

  Until I was forced into a world I’d been blind to and came face to face with the devil.

  A man cloaked in darkness—a man who would set me free.

  A man hidden in a world I vowed to destroy with him by my side.

  “Briar.”

  I whipped my head to the left when his voice sounded from across the room, barely loud enough to hear. My shaking grew stronger, and when I felt his dark, dark presence slip behind me, the song I’d been trying so desperately to hold back bled out as a whisper.

  “I know him. I know the man behind me,” my mind screamed. But those screams couldn’t be heard while I was consumed with memories he wanted me to surrender to.

  His breath stirred the loose hair on my neck, and just before his arms wrapped around me, he spoke in a low, sinister tone that sent chills up my spine. “Fight me.”

  Chapter 1

  The Dark Room

  Briar

  I didn’t know day from night, or how many hours or days had passed while I was unconscious. I only knew the nausea and headache when I awoke, and then the awful stench soon after.

  It smelled like human waste and bile, and soon I added to it as my stomach forced up any trace of food it held. Hard sobs wracked my body as I tried to free my hands from where they were zip-tied behind me, but it didn’t give.

  Oh God. Where am I? I need to get out of here.

  “Help,” I croaked then gagged again. “Help.” I repeated it louder and louder until I was screaming it.

  “Stop.”

  I froze at the hushed word and strained to hear anything in the dark.

  “Hello?” I asked hesitantly.

  “Stop,” the feminine voice pled again.

  “Who are—?”

  “Hush.”

  I heard the rustling of a body—bodies. I couldn’t tell how many, but it sounded like a lot.

  “If you don’t stop, they’ll come in here.”

  I wanted that. I needed to get out of wherever I was. “Someone help,” I screamed. “Help me!”

  More women were hushing me, some in languages I didn’t know, but I didn’t stop.

  A metal door slid open and slammed shut, and I paused as unease crawled through the room and made its way to me, fear sliding over me like oil. I didn’t know what had just entered the room, but I bit my lip to keep from making another sound.

  The room was dark enough that I couldn’t see the floor, and I hoped the darkness would hide me from whoever was here with us . . .

  The sound of heavy boots grew closer and closer, every now and then hitting what sounded like a puddle or squishing something. My stomach rolled.

  Just when I thought the boots would pass by me, a hand pressed my head roughly against the floor.

  “No, no, n—” I thrashed against the strong hold, screaming when something pinched my neck.

  My loud sobs tore through the room, echoing back to me as the heavy boots moved back in the direction they’d come. When the metal door screeched open, I pled for someone to help me. But my words were soft and slurred.

  No one hushed me again, and no one came to save me as darkness engulfed me.

  “Beautiful,” a familiar voice whispered into my ear. A pair of warm arms curled around my waist, pulling me back against his chest.

  I bit down on my bottom lip, abruptly cutting off the song that had been flowing from my mouth. Despite my sudden unease, I couldn’t stop my smile as my fiancé’s lips ghosted along my neck.

  “Don’t stop,” he pled just as gently.

  My smile slipped even as a hum of appreciation slid up my throat from the feel of Kyle’s teasing lips on me, but I didn’t continue singing. He knew I wouldn’t.

  When seconds ticked by with nothing, he laughed against my shoulder. “You’re so confusing, Briar Rose.”

  My body stilled, already knowing what he would say next.

  “Never heard a voice like yours, but you won’t let anyone hear it.”

  “That’s not true.” I turned in his arms when another breath of a laugh left him and worried my bottom lip as he studied me with a challenging expression. “I just . . .” I lifted one shoulder when I couldn’t find the words to explain it.

  “Won’t let anyone hear you,” he provided, echoing his previous statement.

  “You’ve heard me . . .” I blinked quickly as I tried to think back, then sputtered out, “countless times.”

  “And you stop singing every time you realize I’m listening. Is there anyone you don’t stop for when you realize they’re close enough to hear you?”

  Not anymore I thought as stabs of pain and betrayal sliced through my anxiousness.

  My nanny’s face flashed through my mind, and I heard her words as clearly as if she were whispering them to me. “Every fear and every worry fades to nothing when you sing, Briar Rose. Your voice is your comfort and your security . . . don’t let anyone take it from you.”

  My parents had attempted to do exactly that years later. It was the first time I could remember them paying attention to me, pretending to be the loving parents they always should’ve been.

  It took a few years too long to realize their love was conditional.

  Ever since, I’d been leery of anyone who pushed me to further my future with my voice, and eventually anyone who wanted me to sing for them.

  I tried to ignore conversations with Kyle when he asked instead of pushed, and kept telling myself one day he would understand. But that day had still yet to come.

  “What could you be afraid of with a voice like yours?” he asked when I didn’t respond. “People would crawl over each other to be able to listen to you. Others would fight to represent you if that’s what you wanted.”

  My lips curved at the corners in the faintest of smiles, and I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m not scared,” I said, soft enough so he wouldn’t detect the tremble in my voice. “I grew up in a world where nothing was my own. I want my voice to remain mine. Not something on display . .
. not something my parents try to control.”

  “This? Where we are? It’s no one’s world but ours, Briar.” Kyle’s head dipped low so his mouth could brush across mine. “Confuse me. Just don’t stop singing around me.”

  After four years, he still couldn’t understand, and I was beginning to doubt he ever would.

  I forced a smile when I pulled away from the kiss and tried to change the direction of his thoughts and the conversation. “Technically this house is only yours for two more weeks.”

  “My ring is on your finger, your clothes are in the closet, and I came out to find you making coffee, wearing nothing but my shirt. Ours.”

  “And what would the governor say if she found out about that?” I asked with a wry smile and raised brow. He lifted me onto the granite island countertop—his hands slipping under the shirt I was wearing.

  “I’d like to see her try to say anything.”

  I inhaled sharply when Kyle’s fingers moved over my breasts as he pushed the shirt up, up, up—

  And exhaled just as fast when his phone began ringing.

  His light eyes flashed with annoyance, but he and I both knew who was calling at this time on a Sunday, just as we knew he had to answer her call.

  “Speak of the devil,” he muttered under his breath as he released the shirt and grabbed the phone from his jeans pocket. Irritation leaked through his tone when he answered. “We’ve never forgotten a brunch before, Mom, we’re not going to forget today— Because you aren’t calling at the best time.” Kyle’s grin was slow and mischievous. “Yeah, she’s here— Yes— I’m sure you’re extremely surprised.” His free hand traced up one of my thighs and forced them apart when I tried to squeeze them shut.

  “You are on the phone with your mother,” I hissed, low enough that my voice wouldn’t carry through the phone.

  “Mom, I need to go. We’ll see you at brunch.”

  I bit back a whimper when he ran his fingers over where I was bare and ready for him, and slapped at his chest when I noticed the hungry, yet amused, look on his face.

  “You can tell me this at brunch. I really need to go— Mom— Mo— Never mind. Bye.” He hung up and tossed his phone on the island countertop next to me, and grinned wolfishly when I smacked his chest again.