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Perception or The Oatmeal Cookie & Michelle's Mind

Michelle Hoogwoud




 

  Perception

  Or

  The Oatmeal Cookie

  & Michelle’s mind

  A book of screenplays by

  Michelle Hoogwoud

  This book is dedicated to Mr. Monkey.

  His silent words of wisdom are always inspiring.

 

  The Real Heroes

  Episode 1: Beginners Luck

  Written by Michelle Hoogwoud

  January 17th 2008

  FADE IN:

  INT. Warehouse – Night

  The camera moves from boxes to view the ROBBER. A VICTIM screams.

  VICTIM

  Somebody help me!

  The robber ties up the victim and does victimizing things.

  ROBBER

  Nobody can help you now!

  (Evil maniacal laughter)

  VICTIM

  Noooo-------

  Out from the distance appear ‘The Heroes.’ The robber cannot see them from behind. A volleyball hits the robber.

  ROBBER

  Who did that?

 

  CARTRIDGE

  We did.

  ROBBER

  Who are you?

  CARTRIDGE

  We are the Real Heroes!

  ALL HEROES SPEAK

  And we fight for justice!

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Justice!

  VOLLEYBOY shoves CRAZYMIKALA. She pushes back. They start shoving and pushing each other a lot. The room is silent and only rustling and thuds are heard. The robber looks confused, and then continues to do victimizing things.

  VOLLEYBOY

  Hey! Don’t ignore us!

  GIZMO

  Water for you, Volleyboy?

  All that shoving must’ve given you

  quite a workout.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  (laughs) Already?

  VOLLEYBOY

  Hey! Shut up!

  Volleyboy grabs the bottle of water from Gizmo. Cartridge pulls out a gadget.

  CARTRIDGE

  (yells) Victimizer! Beware!

  Cartridge takes some time trying to work the device. He can’t open or work it properly.

  ROBBER

  Whatever.

  The robber then takes off and leaves the warehouse. Crazymikala and Volleyboy are still arguing. Gizmo is playing with a rubix cube. Cartridge finally gets the device working.

  CARTRIDGE

  Ah ha! Wait... crap.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Good going Cartridge.

  VOLLEYBOY

  It’s not his fault Crazymikala.

  You should’ve been paying attention.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  YOU were relaxing drinking your

  water!

  Gizmo looks startled and stops playing with the rubix cube.

  GIZMO

  Huh? Water for you Cartridge?

  Gizmo pulls out another bottle of water.

  CARTRIDGE

  No thanks.

  The heroes then save the victim. Cartridge unties her/him.

  VICTIM

  Oh thank you so much for saving me!

  CRAZYMIKALA

  No problem!

  VOLLEYBOY

  You didn’t do anything!

  CRAZYMIKALA

  No problem!

  VICTIM

  But, all my stuff is stolen.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  No problem!

  GIZMO

  Water?

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Thanks!

  VOLLEYBOY

  Let’s celebrate!

  GIZMO, VOLLEYBOY, CRAZYMIKALA

  YEAH! (high five or jump)

  CARTRIDGE

  The robber got away. This is no time

  to celebrate.

  GIZMO

  Of course it is! The victim has

  been saved!

  The three cheer again.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Don’t worry victim number one,

  we’ll find your stuff.

  VICTIM

  Why am I victim number 1?

  VOLLEYBOY

  Because you’re the first person

  we’ve ever saved!

  CRAZYMIKALA

  This is awesome!

  All four heroes cheer and the victim looks unimpressed.

  CUT TO:

  Scenes of having fun. All scenes are about 30 seconds in

  film time. Each location at 30 seconds max.

  1. Bowling alley

  2. Park/playground

  3. Drinking/dancing

  4. Gizmo throws confetti from above

  5. Playing video games

  CUT TO:

  EXT. Sidewalk

  The heroes walk while laughing and all smiles. They come across an abandoned bag. They pick it up. Cartridge takes out a cell phone and dials a “home” number.

  CARTRIDGE

  Hi, is this victim number 1?

  VICTIM (V.O.)

  Huh? OH! …uh… yeah. It’s you guys.

  The name’s Alexis.

  GIZMO

  We found your stuff.

  CARTRIDGE

  Yes, we found your stuff.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Stuff.

  Volleyboy then shoves Crazymikala. They push and shove each other.

  GIZMO

  It’s in a bag.

  VICTIM (V.O.)

  Is everything in it? Mainly, are my

  office keys in there?

  CARTRIDGE

  Hmm.. (scrummages through bag)

  No.

  VICTIM (V.O.)

  (screams) OH MY GOD! NOO!!!

  VOLLEYBOY

  Listen lady/man! We have your bag.

  Aren’t you happy? Ingrate.

  Cartridge hangs up the phone.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  We were awesome!

  The heroes give high fives to each other. The scene freezes at that moment. Scroll end credits.

  FADE OUT.

 

  The Real Heroes

  Episode 2: Finding Evil Doers

  Written by Michelle Hoogwoud

  June 17th 2008

  FADE IN:

  INT. Head Quarters

  The heroes play TWISTER. Cartridge spins and falls down. He stands on the side of the mat and watches the other three play the game. Cartridge looks sad and sighs.

  CARTRIDGE

  We need to actually get to work you

  guys.

  VOLLEYBOY

  Whatever.

  They continue to have fun on Twister. Cartridge stands with his arms crossed. In the distance the plastic phone RINGS and the camera zooms in on the phone. Everybody stops to stare at the phone.

  GIZMO

  WHAT?! But the phone NEVER rings!

  CRAZYMIKALA

  What do we do?

  The phone rings again. Close-ups on individual roles begin as they are still on the Twister mat.

  VOLLEYBOY

  Do we have voicemail?

  GIZMO

  No.

  The phone rings again.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  (screams)

  Oh my God! Make it stop! Stop the

  insanity!

  GIZMO

  (screams)

  Doom is near!

  Volleyboy screams in terror. End individual close-ups. The phone rings. The three heroes scream while still on the Twister mat. They keep screaming while Cartridge says th
e next line:

  CARTRIDGE

  (shouts at heroes)

  What the hell you guys!

  Cartridge answers the phone and the other heroes stop screaming.

  CARTRIDGE

  (to phone)

  The Real Heroes. Cartridge speaking.

  How do you need saving?

  (pause)

  Oh, ok. No problem.

  Cartridge hangs up the phone.

  GIZMO

  Who was it?

  CARTRIDGE

  Wrong number.

  [INSERT INTRO THEME]

  White text on black when narrator speaks.

  NARRATOR (V.O.)

  In today’s episode, The Real Heroes

  use the phonebook to find criminals.

  INT. Head Quarters

  Clip scenes

  1. phonebook slammed on table

  2. phonebook being opened

  3. Cartridge’s finger pointing at a name.

  4. Crazymikala looks over Cartridge’s shoulder

  5. Zoom in on the name “Heeza Killhue.”

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Heeza Killhue?

  VOLLEYBOY

  Heeza definitely killhue!

  GIZMO

  Heeza gotta be a criminal.

  CARTRIDGE

  He has an evil name.

  The other three heroes look unimpressed at Cartridge.

  CARTRIDGE

  What?

  Cartridge dials the number into the plastic phone. The entire time Cartridge is on the phone, Gizmo brings out a case of water while walking towards VolleyBoy and CrazyMikala. This happens in the background.

  CARTRIDGE

  (to phone)

  Hello, is this Heeza Killhue?

  HEEZA (V.O.)

  Yep.

  CARTRIDGE

  (to phone)

  Criminal! We shall stop you and your

  evil plans!

  In the background, Gizmo, VolleyBoy, and CrazyMikala cheers/toast their bottles of water (or have it in champagne glasses).

  HEEZA (V.O.)

  I have no idea what you are talking

  about.

  CARTRIDGE

  (to phone and yells)

  Don’t play dumb with me boy!

  HEEZA (V.O.)

  Prank call someone else.

  A click is heard through the phone and Cartridge is speechless.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  I want ice cream.

  EXT. Ice Cream Shop – DAY

  The Heroes are riding in the car/on bikes/some weird transportation. Video clips of them buying ice cream. Photo montage of them eating ice cream and having fun times 

  INT. Head Quarters

  The heroes sit around and playing stella stella old or duck duck goose OR just skip to this next line:

  GIZMO

  (looking at phonebook)

  Hey, Heeza’s address is listed.

  White text on black when narrator speaks.

  NARRATOR (V.O.)

  And now the Real Heroes go to the

  criminals house to stop him from

  future criminalizing things.

  EXT. Heeza’s house

  The heroes stand outside the front door. Cartridge goes to ring the doorbell. Heeza opens the door.

  CARTRIDGE

  Hi, are you Heeza Killhue?

  HEEZA

  (looks confused)

  Yeah, why?

  Volleyboy then screams a battle cry and runs towards the front door. He runs past Heeza and goes into the house.

  HEEZA

  What the hell?

  CARTRIDGE

  Volleyboy!!

  Everyone then runs into the house.

  INT. Heeza’s house

  Clips:

  1. Volleyboy runs into a closet. Door SLAMS. Inside he screams in horror as a strobe light flashes at him.

  2. CrazyMikala has nun chucks and then hits herself in the head. She falls over.

  3. Gizmo is in the kitchen and raids the fridge.

  4. Cartridge does karate chops and kicks and misses Heeza.

  5. Volleyboy screams.

  6. Cartridge is beaten up by Heeza.

  7. CrazyMikala is on the ground crying. The nun chucks lay next to her.

  8. Heeza takes the sandwich from Gizmo, and gizmo whimpers.

  9. Cartridge reaches to grab a phone.

  CARTRIDGE

  9-1-1.. must call for h-help.

  HEEZA

  This is MY house! YOU invaded MY

  house!

  EXT. Heeza’s house

  Heeza stands next to his front door.

  HEEZA

  (to police)

  Get these weirdo’s outta here!

  Clips:

  1. police lights flashing

  2. hands being cuffed

  3. a police car driving away.

  INT. POLICE CELL

  The heroes are in the police cell.

  GIZMO

  We suck.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  I don’t.

  VOLLEYBOY

  (pushes crazymikala)

  Why do you have to say that?!

  Volleyboy and CrazyMikala push and shove and Cartridge sighs and puts his hands on his face. Gizmo plays with the rubix cube.

  FADE OUT.

 

 

  The Real Heroes

 

  Episode 3:

  Finding Heroes

  By Michelle Hoogwoud

  February 4th 2010

  INT. BATHROOM

  CARTRIDGE looks into the mirror combing his hair. The camera MOVES to the side to reveal CRAZYMIKALA in the mirror.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Nice haircut.

  [Insert Intro]

  INT. HEADQUARTERS

  Crazymikala reads a comic book. Cartridge enters the room.

  CARTRIDGE

  Where’s Gizmo?

  CRAZYMIKALA

  School.

  CARTRIDGE

  Volleyboy?

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Kidnapped

  CARTRIDGE

  Hmm… let’s recruit!

  BLACK SCREEN with text:

  NARRATOR

  Today the Real Heroes put up audition

  flyers looking for new heroes to help

  with heroing things.

  EXT. STREET – DAY

  Crazymikala & Cartridge put up posters on posts. They high five each other.

  EXT. SuperStore area parking lot – REALLY LATE @ NIGHT

  Cartridge puts up the last flyer.

  CARTRIDGE

  There, that’s all of them.

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Great job Cartridge!

  HOODED MAN in a mask, similar to the power rangers, jumps out and CACKLES. He RIPS the poster off the wall and runs.

  CARTRIDGE

  HEY!!

  CRAZYMIKALA

  Get him!!

  They pursue after the man. Cartridge runs faster than Crazymikala and she falls behind.

  The man stops, turns around, and sees Cartridge.

  HOODED MAN

  Hey.

  Hooded Man charges towards Cartridge.

  Cartridge screams like an 8 year old girl.

  Cartridge turns around, and then passes Crazymikala.

  CARTRIDGE

  Run back! … Get to the headquarters!

  Crazymikala yells out a shocked scream, and follows Cartridge.

  Distance shot of them running and turning into an alley.

  INT. HEADQUARTERS

  The two wait near the phone.

  CARTRIDGE

  Someone will call.

  BLACK SCREEN TEXT:

  NARRATOR

  Crazymikala pulls out important papers.


  OFFICE

  Crazymikala pulls out papers and straightens them on desk.

  BLACK SCREEN TEXT:

  NARRATOR