Xavier Cold

  “Kid, calm down. We’re not finished. We’re just done for the day. I think you’ve got something, and while I’m here, I’ll work with you.”

  His eyes light up. “You will?”

  I nod.

  Corey jumps in the air and pumps his fist. “Hell yeah! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He runs off toward the locker room, and I smile.

  Cole nudges my shoulder. “You’re doing a good thing. This means a lot to him.”

  I shrug. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

  “It is to him. Remember, little things mean a shit-ton in this neighborhood.”

  He’s right about that. I was all too happy to accept the handouts Bishop had offered even though what he demanded in return turned me into a thug.

  I don’t want Corey to end up in that same boat.

  After a shower, I head out of the gym with Corey flanking my side, asking me a million questions about what it’s like to be a part of Tension.

  I’m about to answer another question for Corey, but I stop when I spot Kai leaning against the front of the same SUV he was in once before.

  “Fuck,” Corey mumbles next to me. “They’ve been coming around more and more, wanting an answer from me about doing some work for them.”

  I turn to him and say, “You fuck with the Block, and our training days are over.”

  “That won’t happen,” Corey says. “I’ve been doing my best to avoid them, but those fuckers are relentless when they want something.”

  I want to say, Tell me something I don’t know, but the less people who know about the threats Bishop’s crew has made toward me and Anna, the safer Anna will be. God knows I don’t need anyone getting any ideas to join in on the action in order to prove loyalty to Bishop.

  I know it makes me a fucking asshole for not taking Anna’s calls, but I’m doing it for her own good even though it’s killing me to let her go.

  Chapter 23

  Anna

  It’s been two days since I’ve found out about being pregnant, and the shock hasn’t worn off yet. The days passing by also means it’s been two additional days since I’ve heard from Xavier.

  I guess my warning of the certain demise of our relationship if he doesn’t call me back wasn’t enough to motivate him to reach out to me.

  A tear slips down my cheek, and I quickly bat it away as I finish curling my hair. Xavier warned me from the beginning that he wasn’t a good guy, and that I shouldn’t trust him, but I didn’t listen.

  I thought through it all there was a good guy who had a heart of gold beneath that exterior level of toughness. Seems my gut was wrong about him because here I sit in a hotel room, alone, across the country from the city I call home now, and Xavier doesn’t even have the decency to call and check on me. He’s the only person in the world I want to talk to about this baby, and all the emotions I’m feeling—happiness, sadness, fear—but he’s making that impossible.

  It crushes me that he could be so cold. Why would my heart allow me to fall in love with someone who didn’t really care about me like I thought? Turns out, he’s an excellent actor in and out of the ring.

  I’ve talked to Quinn, and I’ve almost confided in her about the baby, but it won’t be right if she knows about the baby before Xavier does.

  My cell rings and I answer and put it on speaker. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Anna. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes. Would you like for me to come to your room to escort you to the vehicle?” Jorge asks, his manners ever present.

  “That’s sweet of you, but I’ll meet you downstairs because they charge an arm and a leg to park at this hotel because it’s downtown.”

  “You sure?” he asks with a bit of skepticism in his voice. “It’s really no trouble for me to come up and make sure you’re safe.”

  “I’m positive,” I reply as I shut off my curling iron and double check my makeup. “This hotel is perfectly safe.”

  “All right. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  We end our call, and it finally hits me that I’m about to face Jorge after the way I ran away from him. A jitter passes through me, but I quickly shake it off, reminding myself it’s okay to be tough and live life the way I want.

  I double check the modest, black cocktail dress I’m wearing and hope I’m not overdressed for wherever Jorge is taking me for dinner.

  After waiting in the lobby a few minutes, Jorge’s blue Audi rounds the drive in front of the hotel. I grin, elated to see a friendly face, as I step outside, and Jorge appears on the other side of the car.

  He rounds the front of the car in a few long strides as he makes his way over to me. His black hair is a touch longer than the normal crew cut he usually sports, but it’s not out of place with the gray suit he’s wearing. If anything, it makes it appear more stylish.

  Jorge’s dark eyes roam over me before moving back up to lock on my face. “Wow, Anna. You look amazing. You’re practically glowing.”

  I smile, knowing he really means the compliment because Jorge isn’t one to stray from the truth. “Thank you. You as well. I love the hair. It’s really working for you.”

  He grins and his perfectly white teeth practically sparkle as he runs his fingers through the strands on the top of his head. “Thanks. It’s the longest it’s been in years. My father hates it.”

  I laugh, knowing that Jorge’s father is the pastor of my family’s church and has some pretty strict rules when it comes to the appearance of his children. Jorge rebelling a bit with the hair has to be getting under his skin.

  Jorge reaches down and opens the door for me. “Ready?”

  I nod and slide inside the seat.

  Jorge puts the transmission in drive and we set out onto the busy downtown Seattle streets, making small talk until we pull up next to a fancy looking steak house, where Jorge gives his keys to the valet. He extends an elbow to me as we head inside.

  The place is posh, dressed head to toe in expensive looking curtains and table linens, and it’s clear it will cost a pretty penny to eat here.

  The hostess dressed in a white button-down shirt and black vest smiles at us from behind a podium. “Welcome to Alma Maria. Name on the reservation?”

  “Elizondo.” Jorge’s name rolls off his tongue with ease.

  The woman nods after scanning a list of names. “Ah, yes. Here you are. Elizondo, table for two. Right this way.”

  Jorge pulls out my chair when the hostess stops at a small table and lays thick, book-like menus down for us. “Enjoy.”

  Jorge slides into the seat across from me and unfolds the white cloth napkin onto his lap.

  Before we even have a chance to speak, a man approaches the table with a white towel draped across his forearm and is holding a bottle of wine. “Good evening. I’m Matthew. I’ll be your waiter tonight. May I start you off with a sample of our finest house wine?”

  “Absolutely,” Jorge says as he slides his empty wine glass toward the edge of the table.

  “And for you, miss?” the man asks and begins to tip the bottle to pour some for me, but I quickly hold my hand over the glass’s opening.

  “None for me, thanks. Can I just have water instead?”

  “Not a problem, miss. I’ll have that right out to you.”

  He disappears, and once he’s out of earshot, I glance up at Jorge who is watching me suspiciously. “No wine? I figured now that you were away from Simon, you’d be partying it up.”

  “Being able to drink and have fun isn’t the reason I ran away from home, Jorge.”

  He licks his lips. “Was it being engaged to me then that freaked you out?”

  “No . . . yes . . . I mean, it wasn’t you per say, but the idea of being with someone who I didn’t have a fire with scared me.”

  He raises his eyebrows and sighs. “I see.”

  Suddenly, I feel bad about being so open with him. It obviously hurt his feelings. I may not be in love with him, but it doesn’t mean I want to hurt him either.

 
“I didn’t mean it like that.”

  His brow furrows. “Then what exactly does it mean when you say you felt no fire with me?”

  I rub my forehead. This is harder than I thought. I don’t like it when people are upset with me because it rattles me.

  My goal in meeting with Jorge tonight was to be honest with him—to eliminate any hard feelings he may have against me because I know our fathers are still close.

  “I apologize for how I chose to end things with you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but we both know deep down that we weren’t right for one another—that we were never really in love.”

  “No. We were. In fact, I think I still love you despite what you did.”

  “But how do you know you love me?”

  “I just know.”

  “That’s not a good answer,” I tell him honestly, hoping what I say next will make him understand that he simply loves me out of obligation, and not because a passion inside us pushes us together. “Did you miss me when I left?”

  His face softens. “Of course, I did.”

  “Did it kill you? Did it crush your soul to think we will never be together again?” That takes him off guard and I can see the wheels turning when he doesn’t say anything for a moment. “If you have to think about it, that’s how you know. If you’ve ever truly had your heart shattered, you’d know it. It’s a feeling that won’t go away.”

  Jorge nods. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

  My mind wanders to Xavier and how it’s been days since I’ve heard from him and how much it hurts.

  “I am,” I whisper. “And getting your heart broke hurts like a bitch.”

  Jorge’s eyes widen, and he nearly chokes on the red wine he was sipping. “I never expected profanity to ever come out of your mouth.”

  I laugh. “I’ve changed, Jorge. Leaving Portland a few months ago has really made me grow up and see the world in an entirely different light. Growing up the way we did, it’s really sheltered us, Jorge. The world outside of the church isn’t so bad. There are a lot of different types of people in the world.”

  He sighs. “Was our life so bad?”

  “No,” I answer simply. “But if I’m being honest, I wasn’t happy.”

  He eyes me over the wineglass. “And are you happy now?”

  His question is meant to have a simple answer, but it’s still difficult for me to answer. On one hand, I’m ecstatic about the freedom I’ve gained since I left home, but on the other hand, I’m dealing with the loss of Xavier and the cruel reality I might end up being a single mother, struggling to take care of a baby all by myself. All in all, I’m happy, with a whole lot of scared shitless mixed in, but I don’t regret making the decision to leave home.

  “Yes. I’m happy.”

  He raises his glass to me. “Then that’s all that matters.”

  The rest of our evening is far less intense. We made small talk, and he even fills me in on how Mother and Father were doing since they haven’t spoken to me in a while.

  “You should visit them while you’re in Portland next week. It will mean the world to your mother to see you. She’s missing you like crazy.”

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Father and I didn’t exactly part on good terms.”

  Jorge nods. “I heard. Your new boyfriend got in his face?”

  I twist my lips. “That’s not exactly what happened, but yes, they did have some heated words. But Xavier wasn’t wrong for standing up to Father.”

  He sighs. “Simon can be hotheaded, but he really does love you, Anna.”

  My eyes burn at the thought of my parents, and how if we keep fighting like this, they’ll never know their grandchild. None of that matters, though, because Father will never accept me, especially after getting pregnant outside of wedlock.

  “Don’t cry, Anna.” Jorge hands me the cloth napkin he unfolded. “If you miss them so much, go see them—fix things before they get too out of control to be made right again.”

  I sniff as the fear of facing Father again races through me. “I’ll think about it.”

  Jorge smiles. “Let me know if you want to see them. I’ll be happy to chauffeur you around.”

  “I’ll have to think about it.”

  “Please do. With Tension staying so close, it may just make more sense to go stay in the Pacific Northwest for a while. Use the next couple of weeks to spend time here with your family.”

  What he says makes sense. With no word from Xavier, what would be the point in rushing back and forth for only a couple of days in Detroit, unless it was to check on him and make sure he’s all right?

  My mind instantly begins to turn at the thought. What if Kai hurt him? What if he’s not answering because he can’t?

  Panic shoots through me, and I pop up from the table in such a quick manner that it startles Jorge and causes heads to turn in my direction.

  “You all right?”

  “Yes. Fine. I need to make a phone call. I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay . . .” The confusion on Jorge’s face morphs into concern, but I don’t explain the situation any further before I turn and rush away from him.

  My fingers fly over the buttons on my phone as I search for the number for Nettie’s Diner and then quickly hit call as I pace back and forth in the hallway leading to the restrooms.

  The phone rings three times before it’s picked up. “Nettie’s.”

  “Hey, Nettie. It’s Anna. I know this may sound strange, but have you seen Xavier lately?”

  My heart pounds as I await her answer. If she’s seen him, it means he’s fine and is truly ignoring me, but if she hasn’t, another type of panic will set in.

  The chatter of the people in the restaurant sound in the background as she answers. “I sure did. He stayed here last night.”

  My heart drops as I receive my answer. Guess it was silly of me to worry about his safety when he’s clearly able to take care of himself. This information really tells me where we stand.

  I grip the phone tighter in my hand and lift my chin. “Can you please deliver a message to him for me?”

  “Sure, honey.”

  “Tell him I got his message loud and clear and I won’t bother him ever again.”

  “I swear, that boy . . .” Nettie tsks, and I’m about to tell her good-bye when she says, “Don’t give up on him, Anna, even if you want to.”

  I sigh, understanding what she’s asking, but I won’t allow my heart to keep going through this. “I can’t do that, Nettie. Not anymore.” I lip quivers and I can feel the tears coming on, and I don’t want to cry on the phone to her. “I’ve got to go.”

  “No, Anna. Wait—”

  I don’t give her time to finish her sentence before I end the call and lean back against the wall, shutting my eyes to hold in the tears.

  This is the last sign I need to give up on Xavier. You don’t treat someone you love like this. I need to find the strength down deep to move on with my life.

  Somehow, I manage to make it through dinner without completely breaking down. Jorge knew there was something was bothering me, but in typical Jorge fashion, he didn’t pry into my business for fear of being rude.

  We don’t say much on the way back to the hotel, so when the car comes to a stop in front of the door, I fully prepare to end our evening, but Jorge opts to have the attendant park his car.

  I give him a curious look as he opens my door. “What are you doing?”

  He extends his hand to me and helps me out. “You look like you need a friend.”

  That’s so like him, always giving. It’s in his nature. “It’s not necessary. I’ll be okay.”

  He gives me a pointed look. “Anna, I know you. You’re hurting and even though we are no longer together, I still consider you one of my best friends. Talk to me if it will make you feel better.”

  I bite my lower lip, unwilling to part with what’s truly bothering me. I don’t want my parents to find out I’m pregnant from someo
ne other than me. Talking things out with Jorge is dangerous. I need to keep this to myself a bit longer, no matter how badly I want some advice on what to do in this situation.

  My lips pull back into a tight line. “I’m sorry, Jorge. I can’t tell you about this.”

  He swallows while his eyes search my face. “I’ve really lost you, haven’t I?”

  I nod as a tear rolls down my cheek. Loving Jorge would be so simple—a natural fit in the life I used to lead—but I’m a different person now, and I can no longer settle for lukewarm love. I want full-on passion or nothing at all.

  He swipes away my tear with his thumb. “It’s okay, Anna. I always knew I would someday. You have more zest for life than anyone I’ve ever known, and I’m not the right guy for you to find adventure with, but I’ll always be your friend.”

  His sweet words cause a sob to rip out of my throat, and I throw my arms around his neck, hugging him as I cry. It’s then I finally realize how much I’ve changed. No matter what happens from this point on, I can no longer go back to the perfect church girl Father always groomed me to be—not with a baby on the way. I have to figure out how to stand in this world on my own two feet.

  Chapter 24

  Xavier

  My cell chimes with a new text, and I motion to Corey to continue practicing the drills I gave him while I check my phone.

  I swipe the screen and Deena’s name pops up with an attachment symbol next to it. I roll my eyes and click on the button.

  This bitch doesn’t fucking give up.

  I probably shouldn’t even look at whatever she’s sent because it’s most likely going to piss me off.

  Curiosity wins out, and I open the attachment. It’s a photo, and when it loads, my heart nearly stops dead in my chest.

  There, plain as day, is Anna hugging another man, and it’s not just a polite hug. She’s clinging to him while her face is buried into his chest. I shake my head as if to clear my vision and then lean in for a closer look.

  Fuck.

  She’s in a nice dress and has heels on, and he’s in a suit. Were they on a fucking date?

  I curl my fingers around the phone and fight the urge to chuck it across the room and shatter it into a million pieces.