Carpe Diem

em

  Michael Loring

  Copyright 2012 Michael Loring

  A quick flash, a crack, and then a loud thud! was all it took to die. James had expected maybe something more. He wasn't much as a religious man with the expectations of a bright light and angels and then God himself. Not at all. But he at least thought there would be some sort of forever peace that settled itself into his heart.

  Right now James felt nothing. Not a numbness, but just...normal. He felt as if waking up from a light sleep. As if he'd gone to sleep, gotten his rest, and woke up like normal.

  But he knew he was dead. James saw the man coming at him, felt the world melt away as the man pulled forth a gun and aimed it.

  James didn't feel the impact. There wasn't any pain, just a flash, banging noise, and the sound of something hitting the ground. Oddly enough, James was fine with that.

  James opened his eyes to find himself on a different plain than Brickell, Miami. The world around him wasn't white and fluffy, like he had secretly hoped, filled with beautiful women playing instruments waiting for him. It was mostly gray. The ground was flat, nothing marring its surface, while the sky was vast and seemed to extend into forever. James felt as if he was in a desert, but without the sand and the intense heat.

  The atmosphere was cool. His skin prickled from the cold air wafting over him and down into the distance. It was relaxing. Everything about this place was rather relaxing. Except a part of him felt annoyed, for a small part of him felt betrayed by the men and women who constantly preached that the afterlife was so beautiful. That God would bring him eternal serenity and quell any and all of his humanly worries.

  Instead, he stood here alone in this desolate plane without a true sense of peace. He felt the aches and pains of mortality pulling back on his soul like it did everyday on Earth.

  What a rip-off!

  James started to wander. What else was there to do? Stand and wait for something to come to him? James was a man of action, someone who'd rather go to you than have you come to him. Standing wasn't something he was patient about.

  If ever in his life he felt alone; it was now. James imagined this must be hell. The unending landscape of nothingness seemed unnerving, and James could see himself going insane here. Maybe the fire and brimstone theory was exaggerated. The unbelievable agony of all that's evil was nothing more than-

  “You look thoughtful.”

  James whirled around so fast that it took an extra second for his brain to follow. Behind him was a man. A man with dark hair that was combed perfectly to the side, a dense beard with a perfect point, plaid shirt, and jeans. He smiled at James pleasantly, showing rows of white teeth.

  “Who are you?” James asked instinctively, unsure of what to expect next.

  The man was silent for a second, just smiling at James to a point of awkwardness. A moment later, the man perked up as if just hearing the question for the first time. “Oh, I have no real name,” he said at last.

  James frowned in disappointment. Probably the only guy he'd ever get to see for the next millennia and he didn't have a name?

  Wait...

  “Hold up, are you-”

  “Ssh!” The man put his finger to his mouth and gave a stern look. “No, I am not who you think. But you can call me Bud.”

  “Bud?”

  “Bud,” he repeated. “Like buddy. Makes me seem friendlier you know?”

  James couldn't help but agree. It did make him seem nicer. “So...where are we?”

  Bud smiled again, this time giving an all-knowing presence. He took a few steps around James, sizing him up with a contemplative look.

  James felt suddenly self-conscious. Who was he to this man? Nothing stood out about James other than maybe he was tall. He had short dark hair, a medium build, and was skinny. He glanced down at what clothing he wore and saw he still donned the button blue T with fresh jeans and white Nikes. The clothes he had apparently died in. What a way to go.

  Bud stopped his staring and yet again smiled. “So, ready to go?” he asked.

  “Go where? Where are we now?” James asked again.

  “We're in the Before Place. Think of it like...um...” Bud fought to find the words. “What is it you humans call the place before you go to your assigned plane?”

  James racked his head for the answer, scanning through the religious teachings his parents and teachers had shoved down his throat for so many years. “Purgatory?” he said after a moment's hesitation.

  “Yes!” Bud snapped his fingers. “That's it! Think of this as purgatory. The Before Place I call it to keep it simple.”

  “Alright, so this is purgatory. Where am I going? Heaven or Hell?” James asked, steeling himself for the answer.

  Bud laughed, surprising James. “What's so funny?”

  “Heaven and Hell is nothing more than figments of a human's imagination.” Bud explained, still giggling to himself. “Where you are to go right now is something even more complicated than white clouds or raging fire.”

  As the words were spoken; James felt suddenly dizzy. The gray world suddenly blurred together, a few new colors mixing in with the powdery gray such as vivid blues and reds and greens. He felt his balance loosen, and then hit something that made him stumble.

  A glaze clouded his vision for a few seconds as he felt himself sturdy yet again. He wiped at his eyes and focused to find himself in a completely new world.

  Where James stood now had dirt. The ground panned out just like the previous plane, but with dark brown dirt. He saw the outline of a large tree off in the distance, its branches spanning out at least a kilometer. Along the way to the tree were shapes that James couldn't determine from this distance. He could tell though there was an abundance of different shapes of all sizes.

  “Where are we now?”

  “Your mind.” Bud appeared next to James without warning.

  “My...what?” James turned to Bud with awe.

  Bud smiled his smile and began to trek forward, indication for James to follow. “This is where you go when you die. Your own mind.”

  “So...I'm in my head?” Bud laughed again, irritating James. “Stop that!”

  “Sorry,” Bud grinned. “You humans think that your mind is in your head though?”

  James felt a bit apprehensive of answering that. “Yeah?”

  Bud burst out laughing again. “No matter how many times I hear it, it's still funny! You guys just don't learn do you?”

  “So then where is my 'mind' then?”

  “Answer me this first: Where is Heaven?”

  James blinked. How could he answer that? Especially since this man had just told him there was no heaven or hell. What possible answer could he give?

  It wasn't until right now that it sunk in. There was absolutely no Heaven or Hell. The teachings he had received as a child about being pure and about sins were all false. It hurt to think so many have dedicated their lives to falsehoods, many who were 'saved' by the idea of going to Hell. James, for the first time since dying, wished he was alive again just so he could spread the word around. But who would believe him? He'd be dubbed an insane person the second he spouted out this information. Maybe he'd even be attacked by religious zealots, killed in the name of God.

  At least, James suspected, there may still be an omniscient being.

  “I don't know...in the sky?” He shrugged. In all the stories James has heard about Heaven is that it was in the sky, beyond the clouds and space, just pass oblivion. Technically saying it was in another dimension all together. That's what he was taught to believe.

  “EEEEEH! Wrong, my boy.” Bud waved his hand in front of James' face for dramatic effect. “Try again,”

  James gave a gruff sigh, agitated. “You can't just tell me?”

  Bud shook
his head. “And ruin the fun? No. Now guess,” he urged.

  James took a moment to consider it, but only came blank. It was either the sky or...he didn't even know. “I don't know alright? There's no way to-”

  “Ding! That's right!” Bud cheered, snapping his fingers, his smile broadening if possible.

  Wonder if his face is wrinkly under that beard.

  “Say again now?”

  “You don't know. It's the same here. No one knows. It's just here.” Bud said.

  By now James could see the odd shapes in contrast. They passed by what looked to be a few boxes full of oddly familiar toys, a television set, a rundown car with its wheels stripped, and a flight of stairs that seemed to go nowhere.

  James furrowed his brow in confusion. What were these strange items doing in his mind? Was he crazy or something? “What's with the weird stuff here?”

  Bud looked around, looking just as baffled as James was. “Well, I believe these are things that you yourself conjured up.” He took a step forward to investigate one of the boxes of toys. “See this? These boxes represent your childhood. The toys are your way of interpreting that fact. It varies from person to person, but you picture the idea of your early years as the toys you had once played with.”

  James took a closer look. These were toys he used to play with as a kid. He reached in and took out an old, run-down G.I. Joe action figure. Its arms were missing, and a piece of its head was terribly scratched.

  James remembered how this toy ended up like this. His older brother's dog – a big mutt with slobbery lips and sharp teeth – had stolen it from