Keep Me Safe, Page 6

  resignation—that she was feeling now.

  He was controlling her. Not physically. Mentally.

  The day she’d helped locate his victim, when she’d slipped into his mind and the mind of his victim, he’d gotten a lock on her. A reversal of roles because usually she was the one creeping into someone’s mind. Not the other way around.

  What was the extent of his psychic abilities? Was it how he’d controlled his victims in the past? How he’d been able to lure them by controlling their minds? And was that why he was so frustrated by her, because she wasn’t as easily controlled as his other victims? Was it why he viewed her as the ultimate challenge? His ultimate victory?

  And then a horrifying thought occurred to her. He had been able to track her as surely as she tracked others. What if he went after Caleb’s sister, who’d already endured unimaginable horror? What if he went after Caleb or his brothers? Was she putting them all in terrible danger by association?

  “What the hell are you thinking?” Caleb demanded.

  She lifted her startled gaze to his to see he was staring intently at her, a frown marring his features.

  “You look scared to death.”

  “What if I’m bringing pain and death to your doorstep, to your family and the people you love?” she whispered. “You’re risking your sister, your brothers, yourself, by helping me. I’m a reminder of all your sister endured. Is she mentally prepared for that? Isn’t there somewhere safe I can go that’s away from you and your family?”

  It was apparent he had no liking for what she’d said, but one of them had to face reality. She appreciated that he’d responded so quickly, and that he’d taken steps to protect her. But helping her didn’t mean he had to become personally involved.

  She sat forward, her expression earnest. “Think about it, Caleb. You have no idea what he’s capable of. You didn’t see or feel what he did to his victims. I did. I live with that reminder every single day and know that he’s planned a lot worse for me. I could never live with myself if you or your family became collateral damage in his quest for me. Or that he knew by hurting you, he hurt me.”

  Caleb reached across to fold his hand over hers. Warmth traveled up her arm, filling her with undeniable heat. She snatched her hand back, shocked that what she was feeling was . . . desire. She’d felt the same reaction in the hotel room earlier, but hadn’t recognized it for what it was. Now that she was somewhat removed from the hysteria of that moment, she could see that there had been something from the very moment he’d walked through her door.

  Judging by his own reaction, he was just as aware as she had been that something had sparked between them. He frowned over her withdrawal but retreated, moving his hand back to his lap.

  “I need you to trust me, Ramie. And I understand in your position that it’s hard for you to trust anyone. Because you see the bad in people. But you’ve touched me, felt no sign of evil. So I hope that means you can trust me. The very best place for you to be is in my home, where I can be sure of your safety. I have security measures most government facilities don’t have.”

  At her doubtful look he sighed. “Besides, I want you with me. There hasn’t been a day in the last year that I haven’t thought about you. And it’s not just guilt. Or remorse for what I did to you. There’s something between us, something beyond a passing acquaintance. You felt it. I felt it. And I’d like very much for you to trust me and to see what develops between us.”

  Her mouth rounded in shock. He was talking about a possible relationship? He couldn’t possibly mean what she thought he was saying. For one, she didn’t do relationships. It was impossible when she sensed the worst in others, never the best.

  And then there was the fact that they didn’t even know each other. Their only connection was one steeped in blood, violence, a bond she hadn’t wanted but had been forced to endure. It certainly wasn’t the basis for any relationship, much less one that involved her.

  And yet he was right about one thing at least. She had touched him. Had felt the very heart of him and he wasn’t evil. But did that mean she could trust him? That she could ever let her guard down enough to let him truly see her? Could she allow him past her carefully erected barriers to the very heart and soul of her?

  At times she felt as though she’d lost herself years ago. Or perhaps she never truly existed. She wasn’t capable of having relationships. She was too fucked up, and who would ever possibly care about her or love her with all the baggage that accompanied her? Someone would have to be a masochist to sign up for that kind of clusterfuck.

  “I’m not capable of having a relationship,” she said in a low, embarrassed voice. “I have too many issues. Issues that most men aren’t exactly lining up to take on.”

  He gave her an impatient look, mild exasperation in his eyes.

  “I’m not most men, Ramie. And hell, I don’t know exactly where this is headed either. I sure as hell don’t have all the answers. All I know is that when I look at you, when I touch you, something happens to me. I get all twisted up on the inside and it suddenly becomes imperative that I be near you. I have no explanation for it. You have no idea what it did to me when I realized what I’d forced you to do, made you experience every single thing my sister went through. God. That has weighed on my mind for the last year. Knowing that by saving my sister, I hurt an innocent. The very last person who deserved what I did to you.”

  She glanced away, the sting of tears burning her lids. Why couldn’t she just be normal like everyone else? She’d never asked for her gift—or rather curse. At times she wished that each case would be her last, that somehow she’d have a mental overload and burn herself out, effectively ending the ability to track evil.

  It made her selfish. Isn’t that what Caleb had accused her of in the beginning? Of being selfish for not being willing to help him find his sister? But she couldn’t continue doing this forever. Not when every single victim still burned brightly in her mind with no way to rid herself of the terrible memories.

  And her dreams. God, the dreams. Not only did she have a maniac taunting her in her sleep, but there were also all the others, a litany of blood, pain and death. When would it end? Would it ever end?

  She glanced helplessly back at Caleb, not even knowing what to say to him, how to respond to his impassioned statement. Did he merely need absolution for what he considered his sin against her? Was it guilt driving him?

  “I won’t push you, Ramie,” Caleb said in a low tone. “I just want the chance to prove to you that we may well have something worth exploring. We weren’t brought together by the best of circumstances, but it doesn’t mean that the future isn’t what we make it.”

  “I’m broken,” she choked out. “On the inside. I’m broken where it counts. I’m not even sure I’m capable of love or even like. I have no concept of what lovers do. How they’re supposed to act. All I’ve ever known is violence and death. Those are things I understand. Everything else? A normal life, a normal relationship? I can’t give you those things. And it’s not that I don’t want to. God, I’d give anything to be able to enjoy what everyone else takes for granted. Happiness, love, relationships, dating, for God’s sake. I don’t know how to act in social or intimate situations. Why the hell would you sign up for that?”

  He moved from his seat and knelt down in front of her so they were eye level. Then he simply curled his hand around her nape and pulled her toward him, his lips pressing against hers.

  It was an electric shock to her system. She was assailed by desire, lust, all the things she’d never before experienced. It was overwhelming. She had no idea what she was supposed to do in return.

  It turned out she didn’t need to know. Caleb took over, brushing his tongue over her lips, coaxing them to open. When they did, his tongue flitted inside, sliding erotically over hers.

  He fed hungrily at her mouth, deepening the kiss until she couldn’t breathe. She put her hands on his chest, intending to push him away, but instead they remai
ned there, her palms against the muscled wall.

  Heat scorched her hands, the very hands she used to tap into the minds of others. But all she felt was answering desire—and determination—that she not push him away. Her fingers flexed, pressing into the solid wall of flesh. Never had she been able to enjoy something as simple as touching another person.

  She found herself caressing him in light flutters with her fingertips. He tightened beneath her fingers, telling her without words that he was enjoying her touch every bit as much as she was enjoying touching him.

  She should push him away. He was dangerous to her. She knew it instantly. That he had the power to connect to her in a way no one had ever been able to before. The question was, did she want him to? Did she want a chance at normalcy? Things that she’d always been denied? Desire. Sex. Flirting. Intimacy. Fun.

  But no matter what her mind told her, her heart was saying something else entirely. Instead of pushing him away and severing the ever growing bond between them, she leaned farther into him and tentatively responded to the brush of his tongue with her own.

  When he finally pulled away, his eyes were half-lidded and glowing with desire. She immediately felt bereft of his touch, the warmth that had held her in its embrace disappearing, replaced by the chill of loneliness. Something that to now had never bothered her. She’d lived and survived in isolation her entire life. And now Caleb had her wondering for the first time what other alternatives were possible.

  He gently cupped her chin, forcing her gaze to his. His eyes burned with sincerity, truth a warm light in them.

  “Why don’t you let me worry about what I’m signing up for,” he said, determination etched in his every feature. “I’m a big boy. I can take a hell of a lot when it’s something I want.”

  She studied him, not responding to his impassioned statement. She felt as though she were balancing on a high wire and one wrong step and she’d plummet thousands of feet to the ground. Dizziness assailed her and she sucked in her breath, knowing that she had to tread very carefully.

  “And what exactly do you want?” she whispered.

  “You, Ramie. I want you.”

  ELEVEN

  RAMIE still wasn’t used to warmer climates. It baffled her that it was still so hot in Oklahoma in October. She’d always chosen cooler, dryer areas. Colorado had been nice even if she’d known she couldn’t have sustained the winter in the ramshackle cabin she’d stayed in when Caleb had unearthed her.

  So she was unprepared for the humidity when Caleb ushered her from the plane just outside of Houston. It hit her like a freight train, oppressive, and made it difficult for her to breathe.

  When she paused, just trying to suck in a more steadying breath, Caleb also stopped, his hand firmly curled around her arm. He looked at her in concern.

  “What’s wrong?” he demanded.

  She gave him a weak smile. “It’s October.”

  His expression grew puzzled and then more concern entered his blue eyes. He likely thought her last link to sanity had finally snapped.

  “It should be cooler,” she continued, still a little dizzy from the humidity. “It’s hard to breathe here.”

  “We should get into the car,” he said, ignoring her pithy comments on the weather. “You’re too exposed here.”

  He urged her forward and thankfully as soon as she slid into the car, much cooler, dryer air washed over her. The air-conditioning was on full blast and she sighed audibly in relief.

  Caleb landed beside her, giving the order to his driver as soon as his door was shut. She stared out the window as they pulled away, looking at her surroundings but not really seeing them. She listened as Caleb made several calls, one obviously to one of his brothers, but she tuned even that out.

  She wouldn’t have thought it possible, but she must have fallen asleep because suddenly Caleb was gently shaking her awake.

  “Ramie, we’re home,” he said.

  She roused sleepily, blinking away the fuzz as she took in their surroundings. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting but it all looked so . . . normal.

  They stepped into the sun and Caleb herded her toward the front door. They’d parked in a circle driveway that took them right up to the front entrance to the palatial home. It was a large house, two stories, and it sprawled over the land like a giant invader.

  There was nothing but woods around them. No other homes. It was private and secluded, but all Ramie could think was that there were too many places for intruders to hide. How would anyone ever know if someone got close?

  Unease gripped her and she wondered if she’d been a fool to place her trust in Caleb Devereaux. She’d acted in a moment of panic. There’d been nothing else she could have done. But now that the preliminary panic had passed, she feared she’d made a huge mistake.

  “Ramie?”

  She realized she’d halted, resisting his effort to get her into his house. She dug in her heels, tugging her arm free of his hold. Panic gripped her and she recognized the signs of an impending anxiety attack.

  “It’s not safe here,” she managed to get out in a garbled tone. “It’s too secluded. Too private. How would you ever know if someone was in the woods?”

  Her vision blurred and she swore violently under her breath, what little breath she could take. Enough with the damn crying. She wasn’t a crier. And yet she’d done little else since Caleb had stormed back into her life. Emotional upheaval was the very last thing she needed. It was all she could do to manage what little sanity she had left.

  To her absolute shock, Caleb didn’t argue. He didn’t try to talk her down. He simply swung her into his arms and strode resolutely the remaining distance to the door. It opened just as they approached and Caleb swept by a man she could only assume was one of his brothers.

  “Caleb, stop,” she gasped out. “Put me down. Please.”

  He ignored her, carrying her into a spacious living room that housed two large couches, a smaller love seat and two armchairs. He set her down on the love seat and then grasped her shoulders firmly, forcing her to look him in the face.

  “Breathe, Ramie.”

  He wasn’t as gentle as he’d been before. Not as understanding. He looked . . . pissed. Impatient. Haggard from lack of sleep. Shame crowded into her mind. She knew she sounded ungrateful. And mistrustful.

  “Pull it together,” he ordered tersely. “You can’t fall apart now. You’re safe. Breathe, damn it.”

  His words were like a whip, snapping over her and bringing her sharply into focus. Calm descended and the loud buzz in her ears abated. He shoved a cool washcloth into her shaking hands and she buried her face in it, breathing deeply.

  When she finally pulled the cloth away she saw two men standing just beyond Caleb, their expressions indecipherable.

  Great. Her first face-to-face meeting with his family and she was a complete basket case.

  “Okay now?” Caleb asked, his tone gentler than before.

  She nodded, closing her eyes in embarrassment.

  “Ramie, stop,” he said in a low voice. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “What is she doing here?”

  Ramie yanked her gaze to the doorway where the stricken, female voice had come from to see a young woman standing there, staring in horror at Ramie. Her words were shrill, almost to the point of hysteria.

  Ramie didn’t need an introduction to know who she was. Ramie knew her on sight. Tori Devereaux. Caleb’s sister. A woman whose mind Ramie had been in. A woman Ramie had suffered with.

  “You said you were helping her, not that you were bringing her here,” Tori said, her voice rising. “What is she doing here? She can’t be here. You have to make her leave.”

  Tears ran in rivulets down Tori’s face as she stared at Ramie, shame burning brightly in her eyes. Ramie closed her eyes, unable to bear looking at Tori a moment longer.

  It was obvious that Tori’s brothers had been completely unprepared for their sister’s outburst. An
d before they could react further, Tori turned and ran from the room.

  Caleb looked as though he’d been punched in the stomach. His two brothers were equally stunned.

  “I’ll go after her,” one of his brothers said in a low voice.

  He departed the room leaving Ramie alone with Caleb and the other brother. Ramie knew the names of the family, just not who was who. Caleb was the oldest and Beau and Quinn were younger while Tori was the baby.

  Her guess was that Quinn had been the one to go after Tori and that Beau, the second oldest Devereaux, had remained behind. The moment Tori’s outburst had registered, Beau’s expression had become unwelcoming. He stared at Ramie as though she were an unwanted intruder. She could hardly blame him.

  “I’m sorry,” Caleb said in obvious bewilderment.

  Ramie shook her head. “Don’t apologize. Her reaction isn’t surprising.”

  Beau’s brow furrowed. “Why do you say that? You sound as though you expected such a response.”

  Ramie stared directly back at him, her voice calm. “Because I know. Because I saw everything. Because I’m the one person apart from her and her kidnapper who knows exactly what she went through. You and your brothers didn’t see. You know only what she’s told you or chosen to share. She’s embarrassed and ashamed because I saw her at her worst and I experienced it with her. You can hardly expect her to roll out the welcome mat for me. Because as long as I’m here, I’m a constant reminder of everything she’s tried so hard to forget. And she doesn’t get to console herself with the fact that I don’t know everything as is the case with you and her other brothers.”

  “Jesus,” Caleb said, running a hand through his hair. “I never even considered . . .”

  “I should go,” Ramie said, rising abruptly from her perch on the couch. “It’s obvious I don’t need to be here. I’m doing her harm. I should have never called you. I’m sorry.”

  “I disagree,” Beau said bluntly, surprising her with his response. From the way he’d been looking at her ever since Tori’s outburst, Ramie would have thought he couldn’t get rid of her quickly enough. “I think you being here is exactly what Tori needs. You’re right. We don’t know what all she went through. We can’t possibly understand. But you can and do. And no, she won’t like it, but we’ve babied and coddled her for the last year and I think we’ve done her a huge disservice even though our instincts are to do just that. Protect and coddle her. Maybe it’s time that the gloves come off.”

  “This family has used Ramie enough,” Caleb said icily. “I won’t have her used anymore. Not as a crutch for Tori. Not for anything. I promised her protection and safety, so yes, she will remain here. But not because we’re going to use her as some kind of healing measure for Tori.”

  Beau looked surprised by the vehemence in Caleb’s voice. His gaze narrowed as he glanced back and forth between Ramie and Caleb.

  “She’ll hate me,” Ramie said softly. “She won’t be able to bear being in the same room with me. Because every time she looks at me, she’s going to know that I know. That I know things she’s tried to forget. Things she didn’t share with you—or anyone. And she’ll resent me with every breath.”

  “Good,” Beau said savagely. “At least then she resembles something of a human. Right now I’d take any emotion from her. Even hatred or anger. Anything but this lifeless apathy that has taken over my sister’s soul for the last year. You don’t deserve her anger, Ramie. But this is the first time I’ve seen so much as a glimmer of life from her. She’s lived in a fog for the last year and me and my brothers have been helpless to do anything but watch her die a little more each day. If having you here makes her feel anything at all then I don’t want you going anywhere.”

  Caleb shook his head, his frustration—and grief—palpable in the tension-filled room. “That’s not why I brought her here. We owe her. We all owe her. There’s some maniac out there who’s been stalking her for a year and a half. He almost got to her yesterday. She’s not here to be some punching bag for Tori, goddamn it. We owe her better than that. So you and Quinn keep Tori away from Ramie.”

  Beau went silent, his lips stretched into a thin line. Caleb put his hand on Ramie’s shoulder and gently pushed her back down onto the couch. Then he turned back to Beau.

  “Ramie doesn’t think it’s safe here. The seclusion worries her. The woods. She thinks we’d never know if someone was out there.”

  Ramie could tell Beau was startled by Caleb’s words and then he glanced toward Ramie as if seeking confirmation of Caleb’s assessment.

  “So before we show Ramie to her room, where she can get some much-needed rest,” Caleb continued, “you and I are going to show her why she has nothing to worry about.”

  TWELVE

  RAMIE’S head floated effortlessly down onto the pillow, her eyelids fluttering closed. She felt swallowed up by the bed, wrapped in its comforting embrace, and she purposely shut out everything but the sensation of safety and well-being.

  Because if she allowed herself to think of anything else, she’d lose her tenuous grip on her sanity.

  Caleb and Beau had taken her into a room on the main floor that housed all kinds of electronics and television monitors. Every angle of the house was displayed in real time. Remote sensors dotted the entire landscape and would sound a warning if anyone ventured near the house. For that matter if anyone entered the wooded area surrounding the house, alarms would be triggered.

  There was a safe room on the main floor of the house. Fireproof, impenetrable, stocked with enough food and water to withstand a natural disaster. Or the zombie apocalypse.

  She suppressed the sudden burst of laughter that bubbled up from her chest. There was certainly nothing amusing about her situation, nor having absurd thoughts like withstanding a zombie apocalypse. Even if it was appropriate.

  The important thing was that this house was bulletproof. Or crazed, homicidal maniac proof. No one could as much as fart in the woods without Caleb and his brothers knowing. That should ease her worry, and yet here she was, lying on one