Imperfect Chemistry, Page 28

“I can’t believe you’re making me film this,” I say.

  “Just shut up and get ready,” Tom says from the driver’s seat. I’m in the front passenger seat of his sedan, sitting next to him with a smart phone in camera mode, trained behind us. They’ve placed Ken in the middle of the backseat, Jensen on one side, Sam on the other.

  Ken’s still miraculously asleep. He’s been this way since he was a child, according to my parents. He’ll sleep anywhere and it’s nearly impossible to wake him once he’s out. Add to that the tryptophan from the turkey and the fact that all my brothers have been drinking since lunch, and you have a recipe for disaster. Or a possibly the best prank ever.

  We start at the end of the street, Sam insisting on gathering as much speed as possible.

  “You guys ready?” Tom asks.

  “Yep,” Jensen says.

  “Ten-four,” Sam says.

  I sigh.

  Tom grins at me and starts driving the car down the road, gathering speed as we go before careening down the driveway and braking suddenly, sending everyone jolting. That’s when we all start screaming.

  Ken is lurched awake to a car full of screaming lunatics, now only inches from the closed garage door.

  “What the fuck!” he yells, his eyes wide and panicked and all caught on film.

  The boys immediately start laughing and as soon as Ken realizes what they’ve done and that the car is no longer in motion, he starts doling out punches to arms and legs. Jensen and Sam attempt to restrain his flailing limbs in between bouts of laughter.

  Then Dad opens the driver’s door. “What are you kids doing?”

  Tom is laughing too hard to respond, so I hold up the phone. “We caught it on camera. Want to watch?”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Science never solves a problem without creating ten more.

  –George Bernard Shaw