A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Page 22

  CHAPTER XIX

  KNIGHT-ERRANTRY AS A TRADE

  Sandy and I were on the road again, next morning, bright and early.It was so good to open up one's lungs and take in whole lusciousbarrels-ful of the blessed God's untainted, dew-fashioned,woodland-scented air once more, after suffocating body and mind for twodays and nights in the moral and physical stenches of that intolerableold buzzard-roost! I mean, for me: of course the place was allright and agreeable enough for Sandy, for she had been used tohigh life all her days.

  Poor girl, her jaws had had a wearisome rest now for a while,and I was expecting to get the consequences. I was right; but shehad stood by me most helpfully in the castle, and had mightilysupported and reinforced me with gigantic foolishnesses which wereworth more for the occasion than wisdoms double their size; soI thought she had earned a right to work her mill for a while,if she wanted to, and I felt not a pang when she started it up:

  "Now turn we unto Sir Marhaus that rode with the damsel of thirtywinter of age southward--"

  "Are you going to see if you can work up another half-stretch onthe trail of the cowboys, Sandy?"

  "Even so, fair my lord."

  "Go ahead, then. I won't interrupt this time, if I can help it.Begin over again; start fair, and shake out all your reefs, andI will load my pipe and give good attention."

  "Now turn we unto Sir Marhaus that rode with the damsel of thirtywinter of age southward. And so they came into a deep forest,and by fortune they were nighted, and rode along in a deep way,and at the last they came into a courtelage where abode the dukeof South Marches, and there they asked harbour. And on the mornthe duke sent unto Sir Marhaus, and bad him make him ready. Andso Sir Marhaus arose and armed him, and there was a mass sungafore him, and he brake his fast, and so mounted on horseback inthe court of the castle, there they should do the battle. So therewas the duke already on horseback, clean armed, and his six sonsby him, and every each had a spear in his hand, and so theyencountered, whereas the duke and his two sons brake their spearsupon him, but Sir Marhaus held up his spear and touched none ofthem. Then came the four sons by couples, and two of them braketheir spears, and so did the other two. And all this whileSir Marhaus touched them not. Then Sir Marhaus ran to the duke,and smote him with his spear that horse and man fell to the earth.And so he served his sons. And then Sir Marhaus alight down, andbad the duke yield him or else he would slay him. And then someof his sons recovered, and would have set upon Sir Marhaus. ThenSir Marhaus said to the duke, Cease thy sons, or else I will dothe uttermost to you all. When the duke saw he might not escapethe death, he cried to his sons, and charged them to yield themto Sir Marhaus. And they kneeled all down and put the pommelsof their swords to the knight, and so he received them. And thenthey holp up their father, and so by their common assent promisedunto Sir Marhaus never to be foes unto King Arthur, and thereuponat Whitsuntide after, to come he and his sons, and put them inthe king's grace.*

  [*Footnote: The story is borrowed, language and all, from theMorte d'Arthur.--M.T.]

  "Even so standeth the history, fair Sir Boss. Now ye shall witthat that very duke and his six sons are they whom but few dayspast you also did overcome and send to Arthur's court!"

  "Why, Sandy, you can't mean it!"

  "An I speak not sooth, let it be the worse for me."

  "Well, well, well,--now who would ever have thought it? Onewhole duke and six dukelets; why, Sandy, it was an elegant haul.Knight-errantry is a most chuckle-headed trade, and it is tedioushard work, too, but I begin to see that there _is_ money in it,after all, if you have luck. Not that I would ever engage in itas a business, for I wouldn't. No sound and legitimate businesscan be established on a basis of speculation. A successful whirlin the knight-errantry line--now what is it when you blow awaythe nonsense and come down to the cold facts? It's just a cornerin pork, that's all, and you can't make anything else out of it.You're rich--yes,--suddenly rich--for about a day, maybe a week;then somebody corners the market on _you_, and down goes yourbucket-shop; ain't that so, Sandy?"

  "Whethersoever it be that my mind miscarrieth, bewraying simplelanguage in such sort that the words do seem to come endlongand overthwart--"

  "There's no use in beating about the bush and trying to get aroundit that way, Sandy, it's _so_, just as I say. I _know_ it's so. And,moreover, when you come right down to the bedrock, knight-errantryis _worse_ than pork; for whatever happens, the pork's left, andso somebody's benefited anyway; but when the market breaks, in aknight-errantry whirl, and every knight in the pool passes in hischecks, what have you got for assets? Just a rubbish-pile ofbattered corpses and a barrel or two of busted hardware. Can youcall _those_ assets? Give me pork, every time. Am I right?"

  "Ah, peradventure my head being distraught by the manifold matterswhereunto the confusions of these but late adventured haps andfortunings whereby not I alone nor you alone, but every each of us,meseemeth--"

  "No, it's not your head, Sandy. Your head's all right, as far asit goes, but you don't know business; that's where the troubleis. It unfits you to argue about business, and you're wrongto be always trying. However, that aside, it was a good haul,anyway, and will breed a handsome crop of reputation in Arthur'scourt. And speaking of the cowboys, what a curious country thisis for women and men that never get old. Now there's Morgan le Fay,as fresh and young as a Vassar pullet, to all appearances, andhere is this old duke of the South Marches still slashing away withsword and lance at his time of life, after raising such a familyas he has raised. As I understand it, Sir Gawaine killed sevenof his sons, and still he had six left for Sir Marhaus and me totake into camp. And then there was that damsel of sixty winterof age still excursioning around in her frosty bloom--How oldare you, Sandy?"

  It was the first time I ever struck a still place in her. The millhad shut down for repairs, or something.