Luna the Autobiography of a Super Cat



  “Luna “

  The Autobiography of a Super Cat

  By

  Luna Challis

  Published and edited by Steve Challis

  Copyright Steve Challis 2011

  ISBN: 978-0-9871585-6-7]

  Index

  Prologue; Birth

  Kittenhood

  The Vet

  Work

  The Mob

  Facebook

  The Bad Boy

  Also published by Steve Challis

  Prologue; Birth

  I was born onboard HMAS Cerberus. My mother’s name is “Batman” but she never told me my father’s name.

  HMAS Cerberus sounds like a ship and I often refer to my mother as a ship’s Cat. HMAS Cerberus is a land base used for the first training of Royal Australian Navy seamen; the cradle of the Royal Australian Navy. It is a ship with a very long and proud history. In both the world wars, one of the first shots fired by any of the allies was controlled from HMAS Cerberus. These were shots across the bows of German merchant ships to force them to return to port so they could be interned until the end of the war.

  Unsinkable

  I think of HMAS Cerberus as an unsinkable ship. But Steve, one of my pet Humans, has written a story about how HMAS Cerberus sinks. Steve is A Bad Boy.

  Kittenhood

  My brothers, Phantom, Spike and I lived in a nice house on HMAS Cerberus. Our mother, Batman, looked after us very well and always had milk for us when we were hungry.

  At first I couldn’t see, but there were a lot of interesting sounds and smells. The nicest smell was my mother’s. There were also many other things, but I didn’t really sort out all of them until I could see.

  When our eyes opened we could see and make friends with all the others in the house. There were two big Humans, and they had a little girl called Lily.

  Lily was nice, but slightly unpredictable; like most Humans.

  At first I was a little worried by the two dogs, especially Chopper who is very big. I soon found that Chopper was one of the nicest of my neighbours, and wouldn’t hurt a fly.

  There was Cat called Cloud, but my mother told us that she was not our father. She was rather aloof, but not really unfriendly.

  Moving On

  One day, Briana, the second biggest Human in the house, put my brothers and me into a little cage. I didn’t like it much, but she gave us plenty of food and water.

  Tom, the biggest of our Humans, took us in a car for a very long way to a different place. The next thing I knew, we were 793 kilometres away and our mummy was not there. This was O.K. for me because I am strong and independent. Phantom didn’t like it. He was sad that he could not suckle on our mummy anymore and took to sucking on my neck. I didn’t like this but I understood that Phantom was just lonely for his mummy.

  We got to know two more Humans, called Erik and Marjorie. They were lovely people and gave us very nice food, but they didn’t have so many warm things to sleep on.

  I liked our new Humans and liked the house but I was still worried about Phantom, Spike was O.K. but Phantom missed mummy an awful lot and it was really annoying for me to have him cuddling up to me like he did. Erik and Marjorie didn’t let us out of the new house at first but one day they went out and forgot to close the back door. I was tired of Phantom being so sad so I said to my brothers:

  “Look! The Humans left the door open, I think I remember the way back to Mummy, Phantom, if you want, we could run back home!”

  Phantom was really excited and ran out the door without saying anything. Spike said:

  “I want to go too! I don’t like being cooped up in this house all day, I want to be free!”

  We ran out the door, over hills and roads, being very careful not to run in front of a car. We got as far as Murray Bridge but found we had to cross a river. We don’t like water. We needed a way across so we ran north up the river towards Mannum and found a man on a boat, getting ready to fish. We jumped in the boat and hid under a seat when the man wasn’t looking. Much to our surprise, we found another Cat there!

  “What are you doing here?” exclaimed Spike.

  The Cat was long haired with matted fur and very fishy breath.

  “I own this Human.” replied the Cat.

  “He goes out every day and Catches fish for me. He cuts them up and gives them to me and I let him keep some for himself. Now, what are you doing here?”

  “We are trying to get home to Mummy” said Phantom.

  “Where is home?” I thought for a moment. “It is about 764 kilometres from here.”

  “Oh my, what a long way! If the Human Catches lots of fish today, I will give you some so you will have the energy to run all that way.”

  “Oh thank you!” We all cried in unison. The Human caught lots of fish and we ate happily. Spike was silent. The friendly Cat made sure the man stopped on the other side by meowing irritably and indiCating the other side of the river. His Human had a poor understanding of Cat.

  We continued on our journey and Spike continued to be silent.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked him.

  “Oh, I was just thinking.” said Spike

  “That Cat had such a nice life getting to travel around on the river; I would like to have a life like that.”

  “But you can’t.” I said “The Humans need us to look after them, they may have put us in a box and sent us away but that’s only because they don’t realize how important we are.”

  “I know…” said Spike, sadly.

  We got all the way to Keith when we met another Cat. This Cat was grey with cream coloured spots, the same colours as me. He was a good looking Cat who seemed to get food from all the Humans in the area.

  I saw him first and started towards him to find out if they could share his food. He ran away but Spike was faster. The three of us chased him into a corner and surrounded him. “What’s the big idea, can’t you see we are young kittens who need food, surely you can spare some!?” I was upset because other Cats we met had all been nice and this one was mean. “Oh..” said the Cat, looking confused. “I thought you were here looking for me.”

  “Why, what have you done?”…

  “You don’t know who I am?”

  “Why, are you some kind of famous traveller?” Asked Spike, excited.

  “Ye..es…” Said the Cat.

  “I’m a traveller. My name is Wonderwoman and I am your father”. “Really!?” Spike was really excited now.

  “I know our Mum, Batman knew a famous Cat but a famous Travelling Cat and he’s my father!? That is so cool!!!!” Spike couldn’t control his excitement and ran around in circles and jumping up on buildings.

  “Slow down there, son!” Shouted Wonderwoman. Spike slowed down then realized he was really high up and suddenly he got scared. He started meowing desperately until a Human came out and rescued him. With the Human came another Cat, a girl Cat. She was Wonderwoman’s girlfriend. She was really happy to meet his children and we all went home to her place. This Cat heard our story but she did not think what they were doing was right.

  “The Humans who put you in a box, did they have other Cats?”

  I said: “Yes, they had our mummy and another Cat called Cloud.”

  “And the Humans at your other place, did they have any Cats?”

  “No, we were there to look after them.” Said Phantom.

  “So why then have you left? Don’t you see, your mummy’s Humans are not your Humans? Your Humans need you back where they took you. I insist that tomorrow you go back.”

  “But I don’t want to go back!” Shouted Spike. “I want to be an adventurer like my Dad!” />
  “Son, I would love to have you with me as we travel around. Phantom, do you also want to join me?”

  Phantom looked at his father, then he looked at me. I was wondering what to do. It was a long way back to Mummy still another 578 kilometres and the other Humans were nice and they needed some Cats to look after them.

  “Phantom, I don’t mind what you do but I am going back the way we came. Those new Humans need us more than the old ones.”

  Phantom nodded. “Well, now that I have had this adventure, I don’t think I need mummy anymore and you need your brother so I will go back with you.” The next day, Phantom and I left Spike with our dad and we left, not just for our new Humans but for home.

  The Vet

  I heard Marjorie saying something about us going to be desexed and micro chipped. One day we were taken in the little cage in a car. This was a much shorter journey. We went through a funny looking door with coloured glass panels in it and introduced to Dr. Catherine Motter. She was nice to us and checked us very well; she was very gentle. She had Cats of her own as well as nice Dogs in the waiting room of the vet clinic.

  After that she gave us little injections we went to sleep. After we woke up I was feeling slightly sore.

  We were taken home and stayed in the house for a few days, but soon we were allowed out to explore again.

  The Bad Man

  One day I was exploring one of the other gardens near where we lived. I discovered some beautiful big birds. I wasn’t going to eat them; there were nearly as big as me and had powerful looking beaks, but I was curious. The birds were in a big cage, and I was looking at them through the front wire.

  Suddenly this idyllic scene was violently interrupted. One of the birds shrieked a warning and I looked round just in time to see a huge brick heading straight at me. I have very fast reactions and jumped. The brick hit the ground where I had been, and then it bounced and hit the cage, bending the wire.

  I ran, pursued by the worst language I have ever heard and several big stones before I was sure I was out of range ten more gardens on.

  It was weeks before I very cautiously explored the garden again. I saw a sight that still gives me nightmares. There was a tree with dead Cats hanging from its branches. I never explored that garden again.

  The Funny Animal

  One day I was exploring a farmer’s field and found an animal with no legs! It hissed at me and a little forked tongue flickered out of its mouth. Then it started to go away. The tail looked like the pieces of string that Marjorie moved along the floor so I could play with it. I hooked the funny animal’s tail with my paw.

  I thought the funny animal was harmless because it had no claws, but it tried to bite me. I jumped back just in time and then watched it cautiously.

  Most mornings I listen to the Laughing Kookaburras. I sometimes wonder what they are laughing about. Now one of these big birds swooped down and grabbed the funny animal in its big beak. It flew back up to its branch and it ate the funny animal. Then the Kookaburra laughed loudly.

  Work

  The BookPost

  There were 4 of us living in the house, but it wasn’t just a house. There was a bookshop, post office and internet café attached. We all did our bit to keep the business running well. Phantom and I had the job of keeping it free of mice. Phantom was better at catching things than me so I was just the assistant mouse catcher. Erik sorted the mail and served the customers while Marjorie was the manager.

  Then we were joined by another 10 animals. These were Hens. Their job was to lay eggs for Erik to sell to the customers.

  We were a big happy family although the Hens were not supposed to come into the house. I used to sleep on the bed with Marjorie and Erik. The Hens had their own little house at the back and in the daytime they were let out onto the lawn under the fruit trees. Sometimes the Hens would help Phantom and me Catch the mice.

  The Kind Farmer

  Early one morning I was exploring the neighbourhood and saw a herd of black and white Cows heading towards a building. I was curious and followed them. The Cows each went into their own little stall and started eating the food in the bin at the end of the stall. An old farmer came along and put a little bar behind each Cow; he attached rubber things on a machine to the udders of each Cow.

  The man started the machine and milk sorted to flow from the Cows through the pipes of the machine. I was fascinated. But my Cat senses were still fully alert and when I saw a little Mouse stealing some food from a bag, I caught it. I had been out all night without catching anything so I quickly eat the mouse.

  I stayed and watched the farmer finishing the milking. When he was free, he came over to me and said nice things to me. He gave me a little sauce of milk. It was very nice.

  The farmer was glad to see me and grateful for me for catching mice in his dairy. After that I started going to the farm quite often. The farmer always says nice things to me and gives me a little sauce of milk. I help to keep down the mice on his farm. It is a good place to go in the mornings when I have been out all night.

  Mass Murder

  Our happy family was shattered by a visit by three Foxes. They killed all our Hens.

  The Englishmen who introduced Foxes in 1845 so they could dress up in fancy clothes and hunt the Foxes were very stupid.

  I don’t like Foxes, but it was not their fault that they were brought to Australia. Cats sometimes get blamed for killing off the native animals, but I think the Foxes are much worse.

  I sometimes kill small native birds and small native lizards, but I have never killed a native mammal.

  The Mob

  One day I was out in one of the fields where the Kind Farmer’s Cows often graze. The Cows were in a different field that night. A mob of Kangaroos were lying down under some Gum trees.

  They are big animals, so I was cautious when I approached them. One of the smaller ones stood up, and a little baby poked its head out of its pouch. It got out and went to see me. The baby was much less frightening than the big adults. We played together for a while, but when it started to get light the Kangaroos moved out of the cover of the trees and started eating grass. I went with them a little way. I sometimes eat a little bit of grass, so I stayed with the Joey Kangaroo I had made friends with and eat a tiny bit of grass with him.

  A big, fat ugly Dog came. I ran up the nearest tree and the Joey went back into its mother’s pouch and the whole mob of Kangaroos hopped off at very high speed. The Dog chased the Kangaroos for a little way but they were much too fast for him. I stayed up the tree until I was sure the Dog was not coming back.

  Now I quite often go and see the Kangaroos and play with the babies. The adult Kangaroos seem to like me as well.

  One morning, as the mob of Kangaroos was starting to move off, the Joey Kangaroo and I had been playing; I had been following him as he hopped around, then he hopped into his mother’s pouch. Without planning it I followed him and we had a ride as the mob moved to its grazing ground.

  The mother Kangaroo was very surprised when I jumped out of her pouch with her baby at the end of the journey. When I got home that day, I told Erik about the adventure, but he did not seem to understand.

  Promotion

  One day, Marjorie and Erik started doing some packing and Erik took his computer apart. They were moving to Sweden!

  I had met Michael before, but now he moved in permanently. Phantom and I were the most senior members of staff. Phantom remained as the Mouse Catcher with me helping him, but I was promoted to manager, with Michael doing the actual work of sorting the mail and serving the customers.

  Now that I was the manager I had to take a more serious attempt to understand the many things done in a multifunctional shop like the BookPost. On the nights that I am inside I go into the shop part of the building and read the books and use the computers.

  I had observed Marjorie when she was the manager and I knew that the most important job
of a manager is to keep up the morale of the workers. When I think Michael needs cheering up, I jump onto his lap while he is working on the computer.

  The Koalas

  In some of the trees near the BookPost there are Koalas. These teddy bear like animals stay in the trees nearly all the time and just eat gum leaves. I tried eating gum leaves, but I didn’t like them.

  One of the Koalas had a little Joey Koala in its pouch. They mother just looks at me when I go to look at her. She is not friendly like the Kangaroos, but also not unfriendly. One day I saw the baby out of the pouch and riding on his mother’s back. This seemed to be a strange thing to do, but it works for them.

  A few weeks later I saw another Koala on the ground. The big fat ugly Dog came along. I think it wanted to eat the Koala, but just in time the Koala got to another Gum tree and climbed up out of the Dog’s reach. The Dog tried to jump and grab the Koala, but the Dog was too fat to jump much.

  The Drought

  Australia was in the grip of a drought which had lasted since before I was born. In many areas there had been a lot less rain than usual. I heard the kind farmer talking to his wife about it. The BookPost where I live is in Charleston in the Adelaide Hills, near the source of the river Onkaparinga and not too far from the source of the River Torrens. These are two of the three most important rivers in South Australia. The drought didn’t affect us as much as some places.

  Then a Heatwave came. I was all right. Michael always makes sure I have plenty of nice clean, cool water to drink. The kind farmer was particularly careful to make sure all his Cows had enough to drink, but remarked that they were drinking much more than usual. No doubt he was right, but it wasn’t just the Cows that were drinking from the water troughs. All the animals of the area would come for their share. The kind farmer knew this and was happy that the wild animals had plenty to drink.