Earthling Ambassador

  "Well, Earthling, I'm sure he'll do a better job flying the spaceship than you did throwing that freeze-grenade," said Princess Petronella. "Your mistake nearly cost your friend his life."

  Tyler and Nicola exchanged surprised glances at this unexpected show of support. Greta seemed to be struck dumb.

  Tyler cleared his throat. "Right! Well, esteemed passengers, please fasten your seat belts for landing. I'm pretty sure this time we're heading down toward Earth. If you look to your left, you'll see our beautiful planet just beneath us."

  Nicola craned her head and caught her breath.

  There was Earth--silent and majestic, round as a marble, floating in space like an exquisite Christmas tree decoration. That's my planet, thought Nicola, and she was filled with a strange, teary, proud feeling. It was interesting how she'd felt proud of her family before (when they weren't embarrassing her) and proud of her friends. She'd felt proud of her soccer team when it scored a goal and proud of her country when it won Olympic medals--but she'd never ever thought to feel proud of her planet. Katie spoke up, and Nicola was surprised at how strong and confident her friend sounded. "Princess Petronella," she said. "See those patches of blue? Those are oceans.That's what we'll be swimming in."

  "That's an ocean?" said the princess. "It's not like I imagined!"

  "Wait till you see an ocean up close," said Nicola. She tried to think of the right words to describe it. "It's so huge and beautiful, and when the sun shines on the water, it's like a carpet of glittering diamonds stretching out as far as you can see."

  "Really?"The princess sounded excited and bubbly, like a normal girl on vacation.

  "YIKES!" Suddenly Tyler swerved the spaceship to one side as a tiny silver pellet streaked toward them like a bullet. "We only just missed it!"

  "What was it?" asked Nicola.

  "I think it was space junk!"Tyler looked delighted. "It's all this stuff left over from old space missions, like nuts, bolts, and old satellites from fifty years ago! It might even have been an astronaut's old glove! I've read there are over one hundred thousand pieces of space junk. It's like a huge orbiting piece of garb--oh." Tyler bit his lip and stopped talking. He obviously didn't want to say the word "garbage" in front of the princess and remind her of her plans for Earth.There was silence on the spaceship as everybody tried to think of a new, safer topic of conversation.

  The princess spoke again and this time she didn't sound bubbly at all. "Don't think I've forgotten that this is a KIDNAPPING. I've been reading all your minds, and I know you think once I see your pathetic little excuse of a planet, I'll have a change of heart about using it for an intergalactic garbage can. But you might be interested to know, I have never changed my mind about anything in my whole life. Never have, never will."

  CHAPTER 31

  With a few deft twists of the controls and a slight frown between his eyes,Tyler landed the spaceship as gently as a bird gliding to the ground.

  "I think you're just as good a pilot as Plum now!" said Shimlara.

  "Let's see which planet we're on first," said Tyler modestly.

  Sean unbuckled his seat belt and leaped to his feet. He pulled the lever on the door.

  "Welcome to the planet of ... ORTH!"

  "Ha, ha, very funny." Nicola shoved him aside so she could see out.

  Golden sunlight flooded the spaceship.This time, the smell that filled her nostrils was something delicious and familiar. It was a mixture of salty ocean, French fries, and sunscreen. It was the smell of the beach.

  "Check it out, Nic." Sean pointed at a familiar old battered wooden sign in the distance. It had a picture of a smiling lobster with a speech bubble saying:

  WELCOME to buddy BEACH!

  The Berry family had spent every vacation at Buddy Beach since Sean and Nicola were very little.They slept in a trailer that they kept permanently on a grassy patch of land right at the end of the beach. Nicola had always said it was her favorite place in the world. Now, after the horror of Arth, she thought it might be her favorite place in the galaxy.

  "What's the plan?" Sean asked Nicola quietly.

  "I don't know." Nicola brushed some dried Arth mud from her face and lowered her voice so the others couldn't hear. "I just thought we could give the princess a typical Earth experience.Take her swimming, toast marshmallows for her, that sort of thing.Then I'll ask her one more time. I don't know what else to do. Mully said I needed to become friends with the princess, but I don't know if that's possible."

  "You're doing a great job, Nic," said Sean.

  "Um ... thank you."Wow. Even if they didn't save the world, one good thing to come out of this was that her big brother actually seemed to respect her now.

  "Oh no, look over there!" Sean grabbed Nicola's shoulder. "It's the guards from the palace and a pack of Arth-Creatures!"

  "What?"

  Nicola spun in the direction he was pointing, banging her elbow against the side of the spaceship.

  Sean fell about laughing. "Ha! Made you look, made you look!"

  Hmmm. Maybe not much had changed after all.

  "Come on, everybody," she said. "Let's go have a swim and wash off this mud."

  Everybody unbuckled their seat belts and stood up.

  "Actually," said Nicola carefully. "I think the princess should go first."

  "Hmmmph," sniffed the princess. She tucked a curl of limp, muddy hair behind her ear, straightened her dirty tiara, and even though she was wearing muddy pj's she walked regally to the door as if she were at a ball.

  This is it, thought Nicola. This is our last chance to save the planet.

  She stood back and gestured toward the open door.

  "Princess Petronella ..." She spoke in a loud, formal voice. "Welcome to our planet.Welcome to Earth."

  CHAPTER 32

  The sun was warm on their clammy, muddy skin. They could hear waves gently thumping on the sand and the shrieks of seagulls.The sea was a giant glittery curve stretching out to the horizon. It was perfect. Nobody could resist Buddy Beach.

  The princess walked slowly down the stairs of the spaceship and onto the rippled gold sand.

  "I bet she loves it!" whispered Katie behind Nicola. "This was such a good--"

  "AAAAAAAUUUGGH!"

  The princess jumped madly from foot to foot. "Hot, burning, hot, hot, hot! What is this horrible yellow dirt?"

  Oh great, the sand was boiling hot, and of course, the princess was the only one of them with bare feet. Couldn't things go right for just a second?

  "Stand on this!" Greta, who was still half frozen but had thawed enough to walk, stiffly pulled a raincoat from her schoolbag and threw it down onto the sand in front of the princess, who jumped on it, her face screwed up in pain.

  "That hurt! Did you do that on purpose? After I saved all your pathetic little lives? I'm going to get the palace torturers to add special foot-torture to your treatments!"

  This was not going well at all.

  "We didn't do it on purpose," said Nicola as the rest of the Space Brigade joined her on the beach. "I'm sorry. I just forgot the sand would be hot. See, it happens to everybody!"

  She pointed to a surfer in the distance who was dashing along the beach on his tiptoes.

  "Well, even if you didn't do it on purpose, what sort of planet has a ground so hot you can't walk on it?"

  "It's only the sand," said Nicola. "Grass is fine to walk on."

  "Unless there are bindi-eyes," said Greta.

  "What are bindi-eyes?" asked the princess.

  "They're sharp things that stick in your feet. Like glass."

  "Thanks very much, Greta," said Nicola.

  "I'm just being truthful. Gosh, I'm so itchy!"

  A little boy's voice piped up in the distance.

  "Mommy, Mommy, I just saw a spaceship land on the beach over there! Come and see!"

  A woman's voice answered, "Very imaginative, darling."

  "No, no, I saw it!"

  "Oh dear," said Nicola. "I don't want us a
ttracting huge crowds of people."

  "That's okay," said Shimlara. "The mini spaceships are great because they're portable. Look."

  She went to the side of the spaceship and pressed a row of buttons.The spaceship began whirling slowly around in circles. It spun faster and faster until it was just a blur of color, like a cake mixer on full blast.Then suddenly it stopped and seemed to disappear completely. Sitting on the sand was an unassuming silver briefcase with the words MINI EASY-RIDE SPACESHIP written discreetly on the side. Shimlara picked up the briefcase in one hand. "See?"

  "Fabulous!" said Tyler.

  "Yes, fabulous, a run-of-the-mill cheap-brand mini spaceship," said the princess. "So am I stuck on this raincoat forever?"

  "You can borrow my shoes," offered Shimlara. "I think we're about the same size."

  "I won't be borrowing them. I'll be confiscating them! Hand them over, now!"

  Shimlara snapped, "Not if you ask like that! May I remind you that we're the kidnappers and you're the hostage, and by the way, that mini spaceship was a present from my mom and dad!"

  "Who are no doubt being captured by my guards right now!" said the princess.

  There was silence for a moment and everybody looked at Nicola expectantly.

  Sometimes, when Nicola's dad was trying to cook dinner and everything was burning and he kept running out of ingredients, he said that he felt like his head was going to explode. For the first time, Nicola understood exactly what he meant.

  "Ummmm," she began. "Ahhh."

  She really had no idea what to do or say next. It was all getting to be too much.What she really wanted to say was, "Can I have a break from being the boss now?"

  Luckily, everybody began to speak at once.

  "Well, I'll run over to the trailer and get some spare flip-flops for the princess," said Sean.

  "I'll come with you and collect swimsuits and towels for everybody," said Katie.

  "I'll get boogie boards," said Tyler. "The surf looks great!"

  "I'll come and help you," said Shimlara. "I've never seen a trailer, or a boogie board. Can you fly them?"

  "Well, I'm just going to sit here and thaw and itch." Greta plonked herself down on the sand in a puddle of water.

  The princess sat down on Greta's raincoat and rubbed her feet. "I'm going to enjoy planning individual torture treatments for each of you."

  "Take your time," said Nicola.

  For the first time in ages, she looked at her countdown watch.

  Hooray! This is it! Your last day before the DREADED DEADLINE!

  Now is the time for any last minute finishing touches!

  Finishing touches! She was trying to save the world, not prepare for a dinner party!

  "You've got no idea how hard this is," she hissed at her watch.

  "Talking to yourself, are you?" sneered the princess. "That's the first sign of insanity."

  Nicola sighed. Making friends with this girl was going to be about as easy as making friends with Mrs. Zucchini.

  CHAPTER 33

  Twenty minutes later, everyone was standing on the hard, cool sand at the edge of the surf.

  Luckily there were plenty of spare old bathing suits in the Berry family trailer, and Greta had packed her Honeyville Primary swim-team uniform in her schoolbag. Shimlara and the princess were wearing suits belonging to Nicola's mom because they were both about her height. Katie had helped Shimlara wrap a plastic bag around her cast, using an elastic band to hold it in place.

  Nicola kept sneaking looks up at the princess. It was funny, Nicola's mom's simple, one-piece bathing suit made the princess look like such a normal girl. Well, nearly a normal girl--except that she was extraordinarily tall and she still insisted on wearing her tiara, even though they had all told her it would surely fall off in the surf.

  The princess had white, freckly skin, and Nicola said that she had to wear sunscreen or she'd get badly sunburned and that would hurt even more than the hot sand.

  "So you only have one sun on this planet, and the one you have burns your skin?" the princess said with disbelief, while Nicola briskly rubbed sunscreen onto her back.

  Now the princess shaded her eyes as she looked out at the ocean. "Why does the water move up and down like that?"

  "It's the wind," explained Tyler. "They're called waves."

  "So, how do you swim around them?" Shimlara looked worried. "Don't they get in your way?"

  "I would think they must be very annoying," said the princess imperiously.

  "Nah, they're great! You just dive under them," said Sean. "I'll show you."

  He ran straight into the water and dived under a wave. He came up with his hair plastered flat against his head, grinned, and dived under another one.

  "Oh, no, I can't do that." Shimlara held her palms up and started backing away from the water.

  "You don't have to dive under them," said Katie. "You can jump over them, or you can kick your legs and float gently over the top of them."

  "Or if they're too big to jump over, you can hold your nose and duck," said Tyler.

  "Come on,Tyler and Greta, let's do a demonstration," said Katie.

  "Yes, well, I was just about to suggest that myself," said Greta.

  They ran into the water. Greta ducked under a wave pointing at her head, while Katie floated over it with her arms up like a ballerina, and Tyler jumped through the middle of it.

  "The way the nice Earthling did it looks quite easy," said the princess thoughtfully.

  Aha, thought Nicola, so the princess thinks Katie is nice--that's something.

  "Oooh!" Shimlara squealed and gurgled as a bigger wave splashed up past her knees. It is like taking little kids to the beach, thought Nicola. Just really, really tall little kids.

  "Let's all go in together," she said.

  "Okay!" Shimlara grabbed Nicola's hand and, after a second's hesitation, the princess grabbed the other one.

  Together they walked into the ocean.As the water frothed around her waist, Nicola tried to imagine what it must be like for Shimlara and the princess. It was probably like the first time she went cloud-swimming: an entirely new experience that had been both incredibly exciting and incredibly scary.

  Luckily, the first wave was a small, gentle one. Shimlara and the princess both obediently held up their arms like ballerinas, exactly as Katie had done, and Nicola tried to keep a straight face.

  "That was fun!" Shimlara trod water, a huge smile on her face.

  "I suppose it's an interesting sensation," said the princess coolly as they floated over another one. "Oooh, this one looks big!" She clutched Nicola's arm, nearly pushing her under.

  An unexpectedly huge wave was coming their way. Before it reached them, it curled over and broke into a frenzy of white water.There was no way they could float or even jump over it.

  "You're going to have to duck under it!" shouted Tyler.

  If the princess gets dumped, thought Nicola, it will be the last straw. The mission would be lost.

  "Take a breath! Curl up like a ball!" she yelled. "You'll be--"

  There was no time to say "okay." Just before she ducked, she caught a glimpse of Shimlara and the princess both holding their noses tightly, their eyes big with fear.

  Nicola ducked down as low as she could.The water grabbed hold of her and shook her back and forth and around and around like a shirt in a washing machine. She opened her eyes and all she could see was white, swirling water.Which way was up? What was happening to the princess and Shimlara?

  She popped back up and the water was calm and sparkling. She looked around frantically.Where were they?

  "WHOA!" Shimlara's head broke through the water and she gasped for air. "I ducked straight under that gigantic wall of water! Did you see me, Nicola?"

  "Umm--well--"

  "WHOA!" It was the princess, her wet hair plastered over her face like seaweed, but her tiara, amazingly, still on her head. She pushed her hair out of her eyes impatiently. "I did it! Did you see me? Did you see
what I did?"

  "I saw you both! You were fantastic!" Katie was swimming up to them. "You did it perfectly!"The princess and Shimlara beamed and Nicola understood that they both had wanted to be praised. It must have been Katie's experience with her little brothers that helped her know the right thing to say.

  "You were both great!" she agreed.

  "Yep, I think you're ready to try catching a wave now." Sean and Tyler appeared next to them, paddling on the boogie boards they'd picked up from the trailer.

  "Catch one?" said Shimlara. "How could we catch one? And what would we do with it when we caught it?"

  "I don't think they're ready to try boogie boarding yet," said Nicola, giving Sean a warning look. No need to rush things.

  "Why? Is boogie boarding just for boys?" asked Shimlara.

  "No!" cried Nicola, Katie, and Greta all at the same time, in the same horrified tone of voice.

  "Then I shall try it," said the princess. "I was very good at wave-ducking. I expect I will be outstanding at boogie boarding. Demonstrate it to me, Earthling Boy."

  "Actually, you can call me Sean, Alien Girl," said Sean.

  "Oh!" Nicola spoke quickly, hoping that the princess hadn't heard the Alien Girl part over the crashing of the waves. "You don't even know our names! We were so busy kidnapping you, we forgot to introduce ourselves. How rude!"

  "I'm Katie," shouted Katie as they all jumped over a wave. "I'd curtsy, but it's a bit hard while we're swimming."

  "You may kiss my hand instead."The princess graciously held out her hand.

  "Come off it!" exploded Sean. "I'm not kissing any girl's hand, even if you are a princess. I'm Sean, that's Tyler, Greta, Shimlara, Katie, and Nic-the-boss.We're pleased to meet you and we're pleased to kidnap you. Now do you want to try boogie boarding or not?"

  Nicola was going to murder Sean. She hoped he suffocated under a huge pile of garbage, because if this mission failed it would be his fault.

  The princess narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Yes, I do want to try it, Sean."

  "Good! Tyler can show you what to do. On you go." Sean slid off the board and helped the princess lie down on the board and adjust the ankle strap.

  "Nicola, you should put a stop to this," hissed Greta. "She'll fall off and she'll be mad and the mission will fail."

  "Do you think?" said Nicola vaguely, but she knew there was nothing she could do to stop them. It didn't matter how much she yelled at them, the princess and Sean were both too stubborn to listen.