Different Strokes: How I (Gulp!) Wrote, Directed, and Starred in an X-rated Movie (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)

  Table of Contents

  * * *

  Introduction

  A Screenplay

  A Diary

  An Interview

  Afterword

  About the Author(s)

  Different Strokes:

  Or, How I Wrote, Directed

  and Starred

  in an X-rated Movie

  John Warren Wells

  Lawrence Block

  * * *

  copyright © 1974, 2012, Lawrence Block

  All Rights Reserved

  Introduction

  A Word From John Warren Wells

  The book you now hold in your hand is in many respects a unique contribution to contemporary sexological literature. It contains in one volume the screenplay for a pornographic movie, a day-by-day production diary kept by the author of the screenplay (who is himself a performer in the film) and an interview with the film’s leading lady.

  The book is thus sufficient unto itself, and surely self-explanatory, and originally no introduction was considered to be necessary. This is no longer the case. Circumstances have since dictated an explanation of why, although you can buy this book, you will very likely never see the movie chronicled herein.

  In June of 1973, shortly after the filming of Different Strokes was completed but before the film had been edited, the Supreme Court of the United States of America did one of two things, depending on your point of view; either the Court struck a great ringing blow for public decency, or it effectively repealed the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States.

  The Court’s decision, in effect, holds that local communities may determine what is or is not obscene, and hence what may or may not be read or viewed in its confines. This would seem to contradict a principle established early in the past century that state and local governments may not take action in violation of the Bill of Rights, but this is hardly a place for a discussion of the legal aspects of the decision. On the practical side, the effects may or may not be far-reaching and long-enduring.

  It is unclear at present just how many erotic efforts will fall victim to the Court’s ruling. It seems certain, though, that the chief victims will be the more expensively produced erotic films, of which Different Strokes had hoped to be an excellent example. Already several theaters throughout the country have wholly abandoned their policy of showing porn flicks, and it seems inevitable that a great many others will follow suit.

  It also seems inevitable that a great many works of more enduring merit will be similarly banned or otherwise deprived of an audience, since this is always the case when censorship is given its head. But here the author’s own bias is showing; I am, as shall be made clear herein, unalterably opposed to censorship in any form, and for a variety of reasons.

  Perhaps this will all blow over. Perhaps Different Strokes will one day be given final processing and cleared for theatrical release. Perhaps one day you will see it. If this never happens, you will not have been deprived of a major artistic breakthrough. You will have missed few major moments in the development of cinema.

  But I do hope you get to see the film some day. And, in the meantime, I hope you find the record of its production interesting and amusing.

  John Warren Wells

  New York City, 1974

  A Screenplay

  1. Close-up of penis on erotic lamp. Hold this shot for a few seconds with only general room tone as background. We hear the sound of a gavel.

  AUCTIONEER

  (OC) Ladies and gentlemen, lot number 453 . . . (Camera pulls back slowly to reveal rest of statue.)

  AUCTIONEER

  (Doubtfully.) . . . a lamp . . . (Camera continues pullback revealing AUCTIONEER.)

  AUCTIONEER

  An unusually fine and rare example of its kind. Please consult your catalogues. May I have an opening bid of one hundred dollars? (Camera continues pullback revealing people sitting and standing in and around the room. The bidding continues as the AUCTIONEER continues calling for higher bids in increments of twenty-five dollars. People raise their hands occasionally to bid. The camera continues its pullback and now the POV has reached the last row. The camera begins a slow dolly to the right and holds steady after AUCTIONEER says:) I have five hundred, will you go five and a quarter. I have five hundred once. I have five hundred twice . . .

  (SOPHIE jumps into frame, wearing a wild hat of bird feathers, etc. We see her from behind, back of head from top of hat to upper shoulders.)

  SOPHIE

  One thousand goddamned dollars!

  2. Exterior of the auction gallery. We pick up SOPHIE walking out with the package under her arm. Also at this point we begin our opening music. We have a montage at this point. Series of shots of SOPHIE walking in the Madison Avenue, Bloomingdale’s, Central Park South area. Then—

  3. SOPHIE at the corner of 59th and 5th. (Medium long shot.)

  4. Shot across the street from SOPHIE’S POV. We see the traffic sign flash “WALK.”

  5. Medium shot from SOPHIE’S side. We see her in frame start to cross the street. She steps off the curb. We see a cab start to turn the corner.

  6. Shot of SOPHIE from inside the cab, driver’s POV. The cab just misses her and we see SOPHIE stumble backward.

  7. Same shot as #5. SOPHIE’S hat is cockeyed on her head. Zoom in to her face as she mouths the words “fuck you” and gives the cab the finger.

  8. Freeze frame on this shot and first credit.

  9. Continuation of montage sequence.

  10. Long shot of SOPHIE with operating pile driver in the foreground. Focus shifts from the pile driver to SOPHIE. Zoom in to her face watching it go up and down.

  11. Freeze frame and second credit.

  12. Continuation of montage sequence.

  13. Medium shot of doorman opening door for SOPHIE outside her apartment building. Pan down to his crotch.

  14. Close on SOPHIE looking down at the doorman’s crotch. She licks her lips and leers.

  15. Shot of penis on erotic lamp in close-up.

  16. Close shot of doorman’s crotch.

  17. Close on SOPHIE’S face licking her lips and leering.

  18. Freeze frame and third credit.

  19. SOPHIE in the hall outside her apartment She is walking down the hall toward her apartment door. Shot from behind.

  20. Reverse of 19. The door of SOPHIE’S neighbor’s apartment opens. We zoom in to see the neighbor’s hand on SOPHIE’S arm. He is IRVING, a seventy-year-old man with a twenty-year-old libido. Dressed in a velvet smoking jacket, rimless glasses, right out of the nineteenth century. You get the type, the kind who wears a bathing suit with socks and shoes. He has a small wrapped gift in his other hand.

  21. Shot of IRVING from POV SOPHIE.

  IRVING

  Sophie, my little rose petal, how about a little . . .

  SOPHIE

  (To herself.) Oh, my God. (To IRVING.) Irving, I can’t begin to tell you . . .

  22. SOPHIE POV IRVING.

  SOPHIE

  What a comfort it is for me to have you watching the hall.

  IRVING

  . . . Come and view . . .

  23. IRVING POV SOPHIE.

  IRVING

  . . . the new French slides I just got for my stereopticon.

  24. Two-shot.

  IRVING

  (Holds out stereopticon. Looks through it, whistles, snorts, moves eyebrows, etc. Offers stereopticon to SOPHIE.)
Ankles, knees, it’s all there out in the open.

  SOPHIE

  Some other time, Irving, when I’m not in a rush. (Pushes him back into his apartment.) And . . .

  25. SOPHIE POV IRVING.

  SOPHIE

  . . . we’ll curl up on your davenport and titillate each other.

  IRVING

  (As door is closing.) Oh

  26. IRVING POV SOPHIE.

  IRVING

  . . . you devil you, you . . . (Door closes.) FADE OUT

  27. FADE IN. SOPHIE, in her apartment. Medium shot of lamp being placed on a shelf. Dolly back to reveal SOPHIE’S apartment. It is basically Victoriana. It is loaded with erotic, suggestive and downright pornographic this and that. As we watch she goes around the apartment dusting, cleaning, etc.

  28. SOPHIE in medium close-up. She undresses a Barbie doll and a Ken doll, arranges them in the missionary posture.

  SOPHIE

  Enjoy yourselves, kids. (She picks up a Little Brother doll, tweaks its cock playfully, sets it down. Then she picks up a Raggedy Ann doll and cuddles it. Music cue of mandolin playing “Those Were The Days.”)

  29. Close on SOPHIE’S face. She is looking and remembering. DISSOLVE:

  30. Same close-up as 29, but now SOPHIE is a thirteen-year-old, stereotyped of course. Quasi Fauntleroy outfit on. Big rouge marks on her cheeks. Pigtails, etc. Fade out “Those Were The Days” and fade in “The Good Ship Lollipop.” Pull back to see SOPHIE in Central Park near the swings in the playground. Music drops and SOPHIE begins humming “Good Ship Lollipop,” cuddling doll, etc.

  31. Long shot of SOPHIE. Suddenly in frame appears the back view of a DIRTY OLD MAN. He begins to walk toward her. He is wearing a smarmy raincoat. He is humming a nothing sort of tune to himself in a deep, deep voice. As he gets closer to her, her singing and humming gets louder. SOPHIE notices him.

  32. Shot of DOM POV SOPHIE. She stops humming, and watches the DOM approach. His humming gets louder. He stops.

  DOM

  Why, hello, little one! What a pretty doll.

  33. Close-up SOPHIE. She’s listening, but saying nothing.

  34. Same as #32.

  DOM

  . . . and what a pretty little doll you are. What’s your name, my dear? (Two beats.) What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?

  35. Same as #33. SOPHIE still looking. She sticks out her tongue and gives a Bronx cheer.

  DOM

  (OC) Ahhhh, yes . . .

  36. Two-shot. Dolly around to wind up in a two-shot favoring the DOM.

  DOM

  . . . perfectly lovely.

  SOPHIE

  (Little voice throughout.) I’m not supposed to talk to strange men.

  DOM

  (Shot favoring him here.) That’s no problem, my dear. There’s nothing strange about me, is there?

  37. Pan down DOM’S body from head to crotch. Hold two beats on his crotch.

  38. Close-up on SOPHIE as she reacts.

  SOPHIE

  Well . . .

  DOM

  If you’ll come with me for a little walk.

  39. Two-shot favoring DOM.

  DOM

  . . . my sweet, I’ll give you a lollipop. (Whips five hundred and thirty-six lollipops from his pocket immediately, and just as quickly returns them.)

  40. Close-up SOPHIE as she reacts.

  SOPHIE

  Well . . .

  41. Tracking shot of SOPHIE and DOM walking through the park.

  DOM

  What’s your name, my dear?

  SOPHIE

  It’s Sophie.

  DOM

  Sophie. What a pretty name.

  SOPHIE

  I think it sucks. (At this point they pass the camera and the camera pans as they pass.)

  42. Tracking from the front. Two-shot.

  DOM

  And how old are you, Sophie?

  SOPHIE

  I’m thirteen.

  DOM

  Thirteen!

  SOPHIE

  Is that bad?

  (During the DOM’S next line, we let them pass the camera and pan with them to get a two-shot from the rear. We see that the DOM’S hand is on SOPHIE’S ass.)

  DOM

  It’s fortunate for both of us, my dear, that I’m not the least bit superstitious. DISSOLVE:

  43. Interior of the DOM’S furnished room. We begin our shot on typical children’s-style drawing on the wall. It is obscene but is still obviously done by a child. Hold this for two beats and then pullback and pan to a two-shot of SOPHIE and the DOM.

  SOPHIE

  When am I going to get my lollipop?

  DOM

  First my dear, you’d better take off all your clothes . . .

  44. Medium shot of DOM POV SOPHIE. He is stroking his crotch but catches himself doing it and stops.

  DOM

  . . . you wouldn’t want to drool all over your pretty dress.

  45. Close-up SOPHIE. Pullback after her line to have a medium shot POV DOM.

  SOPHIE

  Now I’ve heard everything. (She takes off all her clothes. Intercut shots of the DOM’S face.)

  SOPHIE

  Well?

  46. Two-shot.

  DOM

  First I’ll have some candy for myself, you little angel. (He puts her on the bed while speaking.) . . . Such a lovely little thing. Aren’t these delightful? Scoops of ice cream with cherries on top. (He works his way down her body with appropriate oohs and ahs, then stations himself between her legs. He is, of course, still fully dressed.) My God, that’s a pretty one!

  SOPHIE

  It’s the only one I’ve got.

  DOM

  What an aroma! Cinnamon crumpets, maraschino cherries, mink musk . . .

  SOPHIE

  Are you going to eat it or write a poem about it? (A good question, which he proceeds to answer with eager tongue.)

  47. Close on DOM eating SOPHIE. Intercut with shots of her face as she delivers the lines.

  SOPHIE

  A genuine dirty old man. You don’t know what a hassle it is to find a dirty old man these days. The hours I’ve spent in that stupid park, dragging that dumb doll around. And all I saw were cops and muggers . . . that feels wonnnnnddeeerfuuuulllll . . . I’ve tried to do it myself but I couldn’t ever reach . . . When I think of all the years I’ve wasted playing hopscotch and kick the can . . . Johnnie on the pony wasn’t too bad, but stilllllllll . . . The camera stays on SOPHIE’S face for the rest of this.

  SOPHIE

  (Half singing, half talking as she gets closer to orgasm.)

  ON THE GOOD SHIP . . .

  LOLL—EE—POP . . .

  WHAT A GREAT TRIP . . .

  OH . . . DONT STOP . . .

  MAYBE HE’S A BUM . . .

  BUT I THINK HE’S GONNA . . . MAKE . . .

  ME . . . CCUuuMMMMMMM! (And she does just that.)

  48. Two-shot.

  SOPHIE

  I suppose it’s tacky of me to mention this, but whatever happened to that lollipop?

  DOM

  You’ve earned it, my little one. Here it is!

  49. Medium shot of DOM POV SOPHIE. DOM standing as he triumphantly opens his raincoat to reveal that he is naked beneath it, his trousers being merely pants legs cut off and held in place by rubber bands; i.e., typical flasher’s garb. Naturally the actor hasn’t been walking around like this, but the audience doesn’t know this.

  50. Close-up SOPHIE.

  SOPHIE

  You call that a lollipop?

  DOM

  (OC) Play your cards right, my dear . . .

  51. Two-shot favoring the DOM.

  DOM

  . . . and it could turn out to be an all-day sucker. (She gets ready to go down on him.)

  SOPHIE

  But it’s so small . . .

  DOM

  It’s a magic lollipop, my dear. The more you eat, the bigger it gets.

  SOPHIE

  I was thinking .
. . (DOM puts her head in position.)

  DOM

  Eat first. Later, well talk. (As she goes down on him, he delivers all or some of the following dialogue. Some on camera, some off camera.)

  DOM

  Ah, that’s delicious . . . Careful, Sophie, keep your pretty little teeth out of the way . . . that’s much better . . . Oh, that’s much better . . . Are you sure you haven’t done this before? No, don’t answer, never talk with your mouth full . . . a natural talent . . . truly incredible . . . oooh, ah, etc.

  52. Close on SOPHIE’S face. The DOM cums. Her mouth is open and there is a bead of semen on her chin.

  53. DOM POV SOPHIE.

  DOM

  Swallow it, angel. It’s full of vitamins.

  54. SOPHIE POV DOM. She swallows.

  SOPHIE

  You know, I can see this as a turning point in my life . . .

  DOM

  (OC) You missed a drop. (She gets the blob of sperm on her index finger and puts her finger in her mouth.) DISSOLVE:

  55. Close-up the mature SOPHIE in her apartment in the same position, her finger in her mouth. She takes her finger out of her mouth, looks at it, shrugs. She goes over to the lamp she has just bought. She begins to fondle and stroke the penis-spout. After a bit she kisses it. There is an explosion. SOPHIE’S face goes out of frame. Thick red smoke begins to appear from the spout of the lamp. There is another explosion.

  56. Close-up SOPHIE reacting to all this.

  57. The smoke clears and we have a shot of PLUTO JONES POV SOPHIE. He is super straight in a Brooks Brothers suit, sincere tie, slim attaché case in one hand. But he does have a Satanic beard, a pair of cute little horns, and a tail.

  PLUTO

  You rang?

  58. Close-up SOPHIE, reaction shot.

  SOPHIE

  Oh, my God! (She runs away from him.)

  59. SOPHIE runs toward camera. Camera pans as she passes to end up in a two-shot of PLUTO and SOPHIE from behind SOPHIE, PLUTO has changed position.

  PLUTO

  You’re miles away.

  60. Close-up SOPHIE over PLUTO’S shoulder.

  SOPHIE

  What the hell . . . (She runs again.)

  61. Same as #59.

  PLUTO

  You’re getting warmer.

  62. Same as #60.

  SOPHIE

  What the devil . . . (She runs again,)

  63. Same as #59.

  PLUTO