Love or Die (Book 1: Live, Love, and Die Series)

LOVE or DIE

  Lana Mowdy

  Copyright 2013 Lana Mowdy

  Cover by Ted Conley © 2013

  Edited by Kelley Birk

  Chapter 1

  “No more fat.”

  “No more fat.”

  Miranda chanted her mantra in time to the movement of her feet as she pushed herself up the hill. Just another quarter of a mile. As she reached the top of the hill, she willed her legs to continue. She could feel her legs trembling with exertion. Sweat poured down her body, and her head was beginning to swim.

  Glancing up, she spotted a small park bench and plopped down before her legs gave way underneath her. She couldn’t feel the bench beneath her. The world was spinning out of control, and she felt as if she were floating on fast moving clouds. Grabbing the edge of the bench with both hands, she closed her eyes and visualized her lungs slowly filling with air.

  She was too tired to take in the breathtaking view that she usually enjoyed. Instead she placed her head down between her knees and visualized the scenery. A long, winding lane made its way through towering trees that danced in the cool breeze. In the distance, a sparkling lake with spots of colors from the early morning canoes sparkled under the rising sun. Spongy grass gave way beneath her feet. Although the early morning dew cooled the air, the July sun would soon rise to push back the clouds and scorch the green foliage surrounding her.

  “You really shouldn’t sit down after you have pushed yourself that hard.”

  Miranda popped her head up, startled by the masculine voice in her ear.

  “You need to cool down. Walk around the bench a few times and allow your heart rate to slow before you sit down.”

  Miranda continued to glare at the cool blue eyes which seemed to stare at her intensely. Her heart continued to race, but she was unsure whether it was from running or the sight of the man beside her. She could feel the heat of his scrutiny looming, hidden behind the cool exterior. She felt her face beginning to burn, and she turned away.

  “Well, since you refuse to listen to my advice, I’ll have to remain here to make sure you don’t pass out or have a heart attack.” His eyebrows furled for a moment before he reached out his hand. “I’m Zach.”

  Miranda scooted away from him quickly then glanced at his outreached hand. Ignoring the hand, she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She replied hesitantly, “Miranda.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Miranda. How long have you been running?”

  “About a month, three miles a day,” she eyed him warily. He was quite a handsome man. Light brown hair fell across his forehead. High cheekbones accentuated a strong jaw, still nicely shaven. His light blue linen shirt barely contained the rippling muscles across his shoulders and biceps.

  She wondered briefly why he was here. His comfortable shoes were not made for running, but they suggested that he would be on his feet for a while. The lack of suit and tie indicated that he wasn’t a corporate man, but he wasn’t dressed for manual labor, either. He was definitely fit, but wasn’t overly zealous about his health.

  “Quite impressive. I would suggest that if you are going to run that far alone, you should take better care of yourself.”

  She scanned the area and noticed that they were alone. The early morning crowd of walkers had dissipated as the sun began its ascent. Sitting in the middle of the park with a strange man is never safe. Get out now, while you still have the chance. She checked her pulse and decided that she didn’t have time to allow it to slow any further.

  “I will. Thank you.” Miranda glanced at her watch. “I really have to go.”

  “Hope to see you again. Be careful.” The edges of his full mouth turned slightly. His eyes swept her body as she stood.

  Without a word, she turned and quickly fled the way she had come. She ignored the pain ripping through her ankle for a few moments before she willed herself to slow down. Peeking over her shoulder, she noticed that the man didn’t seem to be paying attention to her, so she slowed her pace.

  Get a grip Miranda. There is no reason to feel threatened because a guy is nice to you, she berated herself. She had not let bitterness and resentment convince her that all men are bad, but her naiveté had been crushed. It’s a tough world, and she had decided over the past few months that she would not let it destroy her.

  Sure, Ethan may have been controlling, but he didn’t beat me. I won in the end, and I have Elizabeth, now. She smiled as she thought of her young daughter and pushed thoughts of her former husband to the back of her mind.

  Only one good thing had come out of her three year marriage to an abominable man, her daughter. She stopped at the edge of the park and watched her daughter toddle around on the grass, playing with her friend. The tiny blonde girl was the one blessing in her life. When her marriage ended over a year ago, she thought her life was over. Every dream came crashing down, leaving nothing but pain and frustration in its wake.

  The last month of her pregnancy was filled with dread. She did not miss her husband for one moment, but the thought of being a single mother was daunting. It all changed the instant she looked into Elizabeth's tiny red face, and she gripped her finger with the strength of a mouse. She realized suddenly that the tiny life that she held in her arms relied on her for everything. Her heart was filled with unspeakable love that poured forth from her eyes. A year later those same emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

  "Momma!" The peals of laughter pulled Miranda from her reverie. She pushed her way through the park, grabbed her daughter and spun her in circles. Pain shot through her ankle as she sank to the blanket spread on the grass.

  "Thank you for watching her, Carolyn."

  Her best friend smiled sweetly. "We love playing with this beautiful girl." She reached out to tickle Elizabeth. The young child in her lap agreed wholeheartedly. "And Lacey is a great babysitter!"

  "And she is only four years old!" Miranda gasped in mock amazement, sending Lacey and Carolyn into squeals of laughter.

  Carolyn's smile suddenly faded, leaving sadness around her eyes. "She is already four years old."

  Miranda reached out to touch her friend's hand. "I guess the results were negative again? I'm so sorry. I know how badly you have been wanting another child."

  Tears threatened to spill from Carolyn's eyes. "Yet another month goes by without my heart's desire." A sad smile slipped across her face. "But Lacey is a handful. She is my blessing, and when it finally happens, she will be a great help."

  "Yes, she will. It will happen when it's time."

  Carolyn squeezed Miranda's hand then rose. "It's time to go home, Lacey."

  "I have to be at work in an hour. Thanks again. We'll see you tomorrow." Miranda rose and carried Elizabeth across the park to the front of her apartment.

  When she reached her apartment, she flopped on the couch with Elizabeth in her lap. She chose to ignore the pain in her ankle and focus on the beautiful face of her daughter. Golden curls fell around her pale face. Bright blue eyes and a small pointed nose gave her the image of a cherub. She looks just like her father.

  Suddenly, his face flashed in her mind. Gorgeous blue eyes just inches from her own became steely as the hands around her throat began to squeeze. "You will never get away from me. No one will ever want you again. You are used, scarred, fat, and useless." He released her without further threat and left her apartment. She immediately fled her apartment and ran to her friend's embrace. After calming her down, Carolyn escorted her to the police station where she pressed charges and filed a restraining order. Shivers ran down her back as she remembered the fear that clenched her gut.

  Doubt continued to fl
ood her mind. Would the charges and restraining order keep him away? Somehow she remained unconvinced.

  Chapter 2

  As she entered the small building that housed her company, Learning for Life, she veered right, thankful again that she had the foresight three years ago to implement a daycare station for her employees. She held Elizabeth’s hand as she walked into the large room that had been painted in a Noah’s Ark theme. Animals walked two by two, holding hands and smiling.

  Seeing her friends, Elizabeth immediately let go of her mother’s hand. Miranda kissed her goodbye and stood watching her for a moment. She was a social butterfly who enjoyed company and chattered incessantly. She smiled and laughed as she joined the other children playing with blocks.

  Miranda rode the elevator to the second floor. Thinking about her encounter that morning, she decided that she needed to look into self-defense classes. Although she usually stayed at home if she wasn’t at work, she needed to be able to defend herself.

  Stepping away from the elevator, she took a deep breath. She scanned the office, reveling in the soft beiges and greens that created a calming effect. A floor to ceiling window looked over the city street, giving the room an open feel, and creating a sense of connection with the rest of the world. In the middle of the room, her secretary sat gazing at a computer screen. When the elevator doors opened, Emily raised her eyes and greeted her warmly.

  Miranda felt so good to be welcomed by a friendly face. Emily had been a family friend for years. Several years ago, when Miranda opened her company, Emily had been looking for a job and had been perfectly qualified. Over the years, she had proved to be invaluable. Not only was she a great employee, but she brightened the room with her infectious smile. Clients loved her warmth, personal attention, and infallible memory.

  "Good morning, Emily. How was your weekend?"

  Emily blushed, "He proposed!" She flew to Miranda, holding out her left hand. Her small diamond glistened brightly.

  Miranda threw her arms around her. "Congratulations!” Emily and her fiancé, Trey, had been dating for four years. Although they had discussed marriage, Emily was beginning to doubt that he would ever pop the question. Her excitement radiated from her entire body.

  “You'll have to give me the details over lunch.” Miranda returned her brilliant smile. “What do we have today?"

  Emily couldn't wipe the grin from her face. "Your ten o'clock appointment is waiting in the conference room. He's only been here a few minutes."

  "Thank you Emily."

  Miranda strode to her office to throw down her purse and pick up the file for Mr. Corbin. She swept her long auburn hair into a makeshift bun, and ignored the pain in her ankle as her heels clicked along the corridor.

  Mr. Corbin rose and reached for her hand as she entered the room. "Mr. Corbin, I'm pleased to meet you." He took her hand and raised it to his lips. His eyes twinkled in amusement. She withdrew her hand quickly and turned to hide her blush.

  "I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms. Row. This is my son, Jake, and you may call me Lee."

  "Good morning Jake." Miranda smiled across the table at the young boy slouched in his chair. His hair hung over his face, but she could sense his grimacing glare.

  "Mr. Corbin, or Lee, let me tell you a bit about our company. I began my teaching career at an early age. I noticed that although I worked with every child, there were still some that would slip through the cracks. Gaps in learning caused by absences, misconceptions, or other reasons caused students to miss future lessons, letting them fall further and further behind. Most of the students simply needed one on one tutoring in order to fill these gaps. That is simply not possible in the public school system. Three years ago, I decided to begin this company. We use research based techniques in order to find gaps in math and reading knowledge. Then, we focus on filling those gaps and bringing students up to grade level knowledge in a one on one environment. We use teaching techniques that match their learning styles and show them how to utilize those learning styles to hone their own learning in the future."

  "That sounds exactly like what we need, Ms. Row." Mr. Corbin seemed to hang on her every word, following each movement with his eyes as he gazed at her hungrily.

  Miranda ducked her head slightly, embarrassed by such brazen attention. The man was handsome. His dark, unruly hair hung over his forehead and lay on his shoulders. His eyes reminded her of the ocean, dark in the tempest of a storm. A weak jaw minimized full, rosy lips.

  His stance was like that of a tiger. He shifted often, leaning back in his chair trying to look relaxed, then rising to place his elbows on the conference table. He emanated a confusing aura as he shifted between restrained power and relaxed seduction.

  Miranda decided to change her focus, "Jake, how do you feel like you are doing in school?" The young man refused to answer, slumping further in his seat.

  "I'm sorry. Jake is not happy to be here. He is falling behind, and his grades are reflecting it," Mr. Corbin interrupted.

  She turned to Jake again, "Is there something going on at school?" When he still refused to answer, she reluctantly turned her attention back to Mr. Corbin. "First we need to administer a few tests. They are computer based and will immediately tell us where to begin. We can begin these tests today if you would like."

  "That sounds like a good idea."

  "Then I will get Jake set up in the computer room, and I will return to fill out some paperwork."

  After getting Jake started, Miranda hesitantly returned to the room, knowing she would be alone with Mr. Corbin. She squared her shoulders, readying her silent stare that usually intimidated any man. She stepped into the dark room, manly in its décor. Dark wood paneling and bright mahogany furniture heightened her feelings of control.

  "Ms. Row, may I call you Miranda?" She nodded her head imperceptibly. "There is something going on with Jake, but it's not at school." He paused for a moment. She could hear the catch in his breath. "His mother left us just a few months ago. He doesn't seem to be handling the change very well."

  As he lifted his head, she could see the anguish in the small lines around his eyes. She reached out to touch his hand. "I'm so sorry."

  The corners of his mouth lifted slightly. "We will be fine. It was not a holiday when she was with us, but it has been an adjustment living without her."

  "I understand."

  "Miranda, I can see the pain in your eyes as well. Someone has hurt you deeply."

  She stared at him for a moment before removing her hand from his. "I don't know what you're talking about."

  "You do. You may not want to discuss it now, but even when you smile, I can see the hurt in your eyes." He leaned toward her.

  She began to shake involuntarily. She hurriedly stood up and turned to go. "Thank you for your concern. We will call you to set up an appointment with Jake."

  Lee laid a hand on the small of her back. As she turned to him, he allowed his fingers to trace her body, grazing the scar that ran down her side and across her abdomen. A frightening spark of electricity seemed to radiate from the light pressure of his fingers. "I look forward to seeing you again, Miranda."

  Miranda fled the room. When she reached her office, her body was trembling. Closing her door, she studied herself in the mirror. Her face was flushed, and her hair had fallen to cascading tendrils down her back. She tried to ignore the nausea and dizziness that attacked her by hiding in her office until she knew Mr. Corbin had left.

  She rested her arms on her desk and her head in her hands. You are used, scarred, fat, and useless. She tried desperately to slow her rapidly beating heart. The man was being nice to me, she thought. Yet, her heart continued to flutter with fear and anxiety. There is no way another man will make his way into my life. Besides, once he found out how used, scarred, and fat, and useless I really am… She shook her head to rid herself of the detrimental thoughts, the thoughts that plagued her through each and every day. Tears slid down her cheeks as she waited, hidin
g from her pursuer and the rest of the world.

  Chapter 3

  An hour later, Miranda's head was still swimming as she dried her eyes and made her way to Emily's desk.

  "Emily, I think I am going to head home for the day. I am not feeling well."

  Emily stood and headed around her desk, "Is there anything I can do?" Worry painted lines around the corners of her mouth.

  Suddenly, pinpoints of light rushed in Miranda's eyes. Darkness overtook her, and she grabbed for the desk on the way to the ground.

  When she woke, bright lights pierced her eyes. She shut them quickly to avoid the pain. A kind voice greeted her. "I guess you didn't take my advice this morning." The voice was familiar. A picture of the man sitting on the park bench flitted through her mind, and she opened her eyes to see him standing over her.

  He smiled warmly. Small laugh lines etched from the corners of bright blue eyes.

  A tremor of fear laced through her body as she realized that he wore a white coat. An IV pierced her hand. "Where is Elizabeth?"

  "Don't worry, Miranda. Elizabeth is in the waiting room with your friend Carolyn."

  She tried to pull herself up and out of the bed, but the IV lines held her in place. "Please unhook me. I have to get to my daughter."

  "I'm sorry, but you are going to need to stay put for a while. You are extremely dehydrated. The IV is going to put more fluids in your system. You have also pulled your Achilles tendon. We have it wrapped, but you are going to have to take it easy for a while."

  She fell back against the pillows with frustration. "You don't know what you are saying. I can't just take it easy. I have a one-year-old daughter, a company to run, and I have to keep jogging or all the work will be for nothing." She glared at him with her hardest stare, hoping to scare the doctor into submission. She glanced at his name tag. "Doctor Shannon, I appreciate your concern, but I don't have time to rest."

  "If you don't rest, all your work will be for nothing. Do you realize that you can die from dehydration?"