Mission Earth Volume 3: The Enemy Within

  Also by

  L. Ron Hubbard

  Buckskin Brigades

  The Conquest of Space

  The Dangerous Dimension

  Death’s Deputy

  The End is Not Yet

  Fear

  Final Blackout

  The Kilkenny Cats

  The Mission Earth Dekalogy*

  Volume 1: The Invaders Plan

  Volume 2: Black Genesis

  Volume 3: The Enemy Within

  Volume 4: An Alien Affair

  Volume 5: Fortune of Fear

  Volume 6: Death Quest

  Volume 7: Voyage of Vengeance

  Volume 8: Disaster

  Volume 9: Villainy Victorious

  Volume 10: The Doomed Planet

  Ole Doc Methuselah

  Slaves of Sleep & The Masters of Sleep

  To the Stars

  Triton

  Typewriter in the Sky

  The Ultimate Adventure

  * Dekalogy—a group of ten volumes

  Galaxy Press

  7051 Hollywood Boulevard

  Los Angeles, CA 90028

  MISSION EARTH: THE ENEMY WITHIN

  Copyright © 1986, 1988, 2011 by L. Ron Hubbard. All Rights Reserved.

  Any unauthorized copying, translation, duplication, importation or distribution, in whole or in part, by any means, including electronic copying, storage or transmission, is a violation of applicable laws.

  Mission Earth is a trademark owned by L. Ron Hubbard Library and

  is used with permission. Battlefield Earth is a trademark owned

  by Author Services, Inc. and is used with permission.

  Original cover painting by Gerry Grace.

  ISBN 978-1-59212-589-0

  This is a work of science fiction, written as satire. The essence of satire is to examine, comment and give opinion of society and culture, none of which is to be construed as a statement of pure fact. No actual incidents are portrayed and none of the incidents are to be construed as real. Some of the actions of this novel take place on the planet Earth, but the characters as presented in this novel have been invented. Any accidental use of the names of living people in a novel is virtually inevitable, and any such inadvertency in this book is unintentional.

  See Author's Introduction, Mission Earth: Volume One, The Invaders Plan.

  To YOU,

  the millions of science fiction fans

  and general public

  who welcomed me back to the world of fiction

  so warmly,

  and to the critics and media

  who so pleasantly

  applauded the novel Battlefield Earth.

  It's great working for you!

  Contents

  Map: Southern Connecticut and Long Island

  Map: Turkey

  Voltarian Censor's Disclaimer

  Voltarian Translator's Preface

  Key to The Enemy Within

  Part 20

  Part 21

  Part 22

  Part 23

  Part 24

  Part 25

  Part 26

  Part 27

  Part 28

  About the Author

  Voltarian Censor’s

  Disclaimer

  The Crown refuses to take any responsibility for the effects that this highly fictional account may have on anyone who is gullible enough to believe that the Planet “Earth” exists or that any of the ridiculous actions occurring thereon have anything to do with accepted fact.

  The pretentious attempt to weave the names of a few actual figures, such as Jettero Heller, into a completely fabricated invention to give it the appearance of credibility is the worst form of dramatic license. That it also claims to be the “prison confession” of an admitted assassin whose entire life was devoted to lying, stealing, blackmail and every other form of criminal mayhem should itself be sufficient warning.

  Therefore, anyone undertaking even a cursory reading of this collusory yarn does so at his own risk.

  The so-called Planet “Earth” does NOT exist and NO one can produce ANY evidence to claim otherwise.

  Lord Invay

  Royal Historian

  Chairman, Board of Censors

  Royal Palace, Voltar Confederacy

  By Order of

  His Imperial Majesty

  Wully the Wise

  Voltarian Translator’s

  Preface

  With all due respect to the Royal Censor, one man’s fact is another man’s fiction. Fortunately, being the Robotbrain in the translatophone I don’t qualify for that quandary.

  Also, to the degree I’ve never visited this place called Earth (which would be hard since it isn’t there), I can’t personally vouch for anything that I was given to translate. All I can do is take what is said and make the best of it.

  As Lord Invay points out, Earth does not exist on any astrochart and I have confirmed that. Since Soltan Gris (the narrator of this story) is a confessed criminal and well worthy of doubt (besides, anyone whose heroes are Sigmund Freud and Bugs Bunny also has other problems), I did not rely on his account that Earth is about 22 light-years from Voltar. I thoroughly searched all astrocharts in my data banks, concentrating on everything within 2000 light-years out, but nothing was found to match his description. (Come to think of it, I have no idea why I should have an Earth database if there is no such place. I’ll have to work on that.)

  The subject of light-years brings up a major problem I had translating portions of this into Earth language. There is no accepted vocabulary for hyperluminary phenomena simply because Earth scientists insist that there is no such thing and that nothing can travel faster than light. (This is the same group who also gave Earth other memorable nonsense like the “edge of the world” and the “sound barrier.”) Thus, while most Earthlings have perceived the hyperluminary life-color that in Voltarian we call “ghrial,” they don’t have a name for it since it can’t be reproduced as a shade of nail polish. So I went with “yellow-green” as that is its luminary harmonic. (It is also the word most Earthlings use to try and describe it. Their problem is that they continuously have valid perceptions and experiences that they invalidate and so they get stuck in a very strange view of the world. Reality is apparently determined either by majority vote or government grant, with the latter holding veto power over the former.)

  Similarly with other basics like space, time, energy, motion and self, Earth scientists pursue these concepts like the dog chasing its tail or the man trying to jump on the head of his shadow. None of them—dog or scientist—have caught on as to why the objective eludes them so mysteriously. So I relied on the current vocabulary and made the best of it. (I hope no one back on Voltar catches me talking about “electron rings” or I’ll be laughed out of the Machine Purity League.)

  As to characters, as Lord Invay said in the first volume, Royal officer Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak do exist. Soltan Gris (the narrator who gives me all my circuit-aches) is listed as a General Services officer but there is no further record of worth.

  For others who appear in this volume, I’m providing a Key to describe them as well as a few additional items. I had to rely on Gris’ prison narrative, which isn’t easy. (Gris’ American Southern drawl, spoken with a Northern Voltarian accent, has to be heard to be believed.)

  From there, you’re on your own! There’s only so much a Robotbrain can do!

  Sincerely,

  54 Charlee Nine

  Robotbrain in the translatophone

  Key to

  THE ENEMY WITHIN
>
  831 Relayer: See Bugging Gear.

  Absorbo-coat: Coating that absorbs light waves, making the object virtually invisible or undetectable.

  Afyon: City in Turkey where the Apparatus has a secret base. (See map.)

  Antimanco: A race exiled long ago from the Planet Manco for ritual murders.

  Apparatus, Coordinated Information: The secret police of Voltar, headed by Lombar Hisst and manned by criminals.

  Atalanta: Province on Planet Manco settled by Prince Caucalsia who, per Folk Legend 894M, started a colony on Blito-P3 (Earth).

  Babe Corleone: The six-foot-six leader of the Corleone mob, widow of “Holy Joe.”

  Barben, IG: Pharmaceutical company controlled by Delbert John Rockecenter.

  Bawtch: Soltan Gris’chief clerk for Section 451 on Voltar.

  Bildirjin, Nurse: Turkish teenage girl hired by Prahd Bittlestiffender to assist him.

  Bittlestiffender, Prahd: cellologist found by Soltan Gris, who implanted Jettero Heller with transmitters so Gris could monitor Heller’s sight and hearing.

  Blito: A yellow dwarf star with but one inhabitable planet in the third orbit (Blito-P3). It is about 22½ light-years from Voltar.

  Blito-P3: Planet known locally as “Earth.” It is on the Invasion Timetable as a future way-stop on Voltar’s route toward the center of this galaxy.

  Blixo: Apparatus freighter that makes regular runs between Blito-P3 and Voltar. The voyage takes about six weeks each way.

  Blueflash: A bright blue flash of light used by Voltar ships to render anyone in the vicinity unconscious before landing. Also known as stunlight.

  Bolz: Captain of the Blixo.

  Bugging Gear: Electronic eavesdropping devices that Soltan Gris had implanted in Jettero Heller. Gris uses a video unit to monitor everything Heller sees or hears. The signals are picked up by the receiver and decoder that Gris carries. When Heller is more than 200 miles from Gris, the 831 Relayer is turned on to boost the signal. Gris stole them from Spurk.

  Buhlshot: Chairman of the Board at FFBO.

  Bury: Delbert John Rockecenter’s most powerful attorney, member of the firm Swindle and Crouch.

  Caucalsia, Prince: According to Folk Legend 894M, he fled Manco during the Great Rebellion and set up a colony on Blito-P3. Also, the name given to Tug One.

  Cellology: Voltarian medical science that can repair the body through the cellular generation of tissues, including entire body parts.

  Code break: Violation of Space Code a-36-544 M which prohibits alerting others that one is an alien. If this occurs, those alerted are destroyed and the violator is put to death.

  Coordinated Information Apparatus: See Apparatus.

  Corleone: A Mafia family now headed by Babe Corleone, a former Roxy chorus girl and widow of “Holy Joe.”

  Crobe, Dr.: Apparatus doctor and cellologist who examined Jettero Heller for his mission. He delights in making freaks.

  Decoder: See Bugging Gear.

  Empire University: Where Jettero Heller is taking classes in New York City.

  Endow, Lord: Voltarian Lord of the Exterior, member of the Grand Council and Lombar Hisst’s superior in the Voltarian government. Soltan Gris has placed Too-Too in his office to act as a spy.

  Epstein, Izzy: Student at Empire University whom Jettero Heller hires to set up a corporate structure.

  Exterior Division: That part of the Voltar government that reportedly contained the Apparatus.

  Faht Bey: Turkish name of the commander of the secret Apparatus base in Afyon, Turkey.

  FFBO: Fatten, Farten, Burstein & Ooze, the largest advertising firm in the world.

  Flagrant, J. P.: A vice president at FFBO.

  Fleet: The elite space fighting arm of Voltar to which Jettero Heller belongs and which the Apparatus despises.

  Folk Legend 894M: The legend of how Prince Caucalsia fled Atalanta, Manco, to Blito-P3 where he set up a colony called “Atlantis.”

  Gracious Palms: The elegant whorehouse operated by the Corleone family across from the United Nations.

  Grafferty, “Bulldog”: New York City police inspector on Faustino Narcotici’s payroll.

  Grand Council: The governing body of Voltar which ordered a mission to keep Blito-P3 from destroying itself so the Invasion Timetable could be maintained.

  Gris, Soltan: Apparatus officer in charge of Blito-P3 (Earth) Section 451 and an enemy of Jettero Heller.

  Heller, Jettero: Combat engineer and Royal officer of the Fleet, sent by Grand Council order to Blito-P3.

  Hisst, Lombar: Head of the Coordinated Information Apparatus who, to keep the Grand Council from discovering his plan, sent Soltan Gris to sabotage Jettero Heller’s mission.

  “Holy Joe” Corleone: Head of the Corleone family until murdered. He did not believe in pushing drugs, hence his name.

  Hot jolt: A popular Voltarian drink.

  Hypnohelmet: Device placed over the head and used to induce a hypnotic state.

  Inkswitch: Name used by Soltan Gris when pretending to be a US federal officer.

  Invasion Timetable: A schedule of galactic conquest. The plans and budget of every section of Voltar’s government must adhere to it. Bequeathed by Voltar’s ancestors hundreds of thousands of years ago, it is inviolate and sacred and the guiding dogma of the Confederacy.

  Karagoz: Turkish peasant, head of Soltan Gris’ house in Afyon.

  Krak, Countess: Condemned murderess, prisoner of Spiteos and sweetheart of Jettero Heller.

  Madison, J. Walter: A public relations expert and former member of the staff at FFBO. He is also known as J. Warbler Madman.

  Magic mail: Apparatus trick where a letter is mailed but won’t be delivered as long as a designated card is regularly sent.

  Manco: Similar to Blito-P3 and home planet of Jettero Heller and Countess Krak and the source of Folk Legend 894M.

  Manco devil: Mythological spirit native to Manco.

  Mutazione, Mike: Owner of the Jiffy-Spiffy garage who customized, for Jettero Heller, the Cadillac and the vintage cab.

  Narcotici, Faustino “The Noose”: Head of a Mafia family that is the underworld outlet for drugs from IG Barben and is seeking to take over the territory of the Corleone family.

  Odur: See Oh Dear.

  Oh Dear: Nickname for Odur, a clerk in Soltan Gris’ Section 451. He, along with Too-Too, is forced by Gris to get information on Voltar and courier it to him on Earth.

  Raht: An Apparatus agent on Blito-P3 who, with Terb, was assigned by Lombar Hisst to help Soltan Gris sabotage Jettero Heller’s mission.

  Receiver: See Bugging Gear.

  Rimbombo, Bang-Bang: An ex-Marine demolitions expert and member of the Corleone mob.

  Rockecenter, Delbert John: Native of Blito-P3 who controls the planet’s fuel, finance, governments and drugs.

  Roke, Tars: Astrographer to the Emperor of Voltar, Cling the Lofty. Roke’s discovery that Earth was destroying itself prompted the Grand Council to send Jettero Heller on Mission Earth.

  Section 451: A section in the Apparatus headed by Soltan Gris that is responsible for just one minor star, Blito, and one inhabitable planet in the 3rd orbit (Blito-P3) known locally as “Earth.”

  Silva, Gunsalmo: Former bodyguard to “Holy Joe” and believed to be the one responsible for killing the Corleone boss.

  Simmons, Miss: A teacher at Empire University who has promised Jettero Heller she will flunk him out of school.

  Slahb, Gyrant: A famous Voltarian cellologist whom Soltan Gris impersonated in order to persuade Dr. Prahd Bittlestiffender to help him on Blito-P3.

  Snelz: Apparatusplatoon commander at Spiteos, who befriended Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak when they were prisoners there.

  Space Code a-36-544 M Section B: Section of the Voltarian Space Code that prohibits landing and prematurely alerting the population of a target planet that is on the Invasion Timetable. Violation carries the death penalty.

  Spiteos: The secret mountain fortress and prison run by t
he Apparatus on the Planet Voltar where the Countess Krak and Jettero Heller had been imprisoned.

  Spurk: Owner of “The Eyes and Ears of Voltar” company, which sold Bugging Gear on Voltar and who was killed by Soltan Gris.

  Stabb, Captain: Leader of the Antimanco crew that piloted Tug One.

  Sultan Bey: The name Soltan Gris assumes in Afyon, Turkey.

  Swindle and Crouch: Law firm that represents Delbert John Rockecenter’s interests.

  Tavilnasty, Jimmy “The Gutter”: Mobster who gave to Soltan Gris a list of criminals who will want face-change operations at Gris’ hospital.

  Tayl, Widow Pratia: Nymphomaniac on Voltar.

  Terb: Apparatus agent on Blito-P3 who, with Raht, has been assigned by Lombar Hisst to help Soltan Gris sabotage Jettero Heller’s mission.

  Too-Too: Nickname for Twolah, a clerk in Soltan Gris’ Section 451. He and Oh Dear are forced by Gris to get information on Voltar and courier it secretly to him on Earth.

  Tug One: Powered by the feared Will-be Was time-drives, this spaceship is used by Jettero Heller to travel 22½ light-years to Earth. Heller renamed it the Prince Caucalsia.

  Tup: An alcoholic beverage on Voltar.

  Twiddle, Senator: US Senator and supporter of Delbert John Rockecenter.

  Twolah: See Too-Too.

  Utanc: A belly dancer that Soltan Gris bought.

  Vantagio: Manager of the Gracious Palms, the elegant whorehouse across the street from the United Nations, operated by the Corleone family.

  Voltar: The home planet and seat of the one-hundred-and-ten-planet Confederacy that was established 125,000 years ago. At the time of Jettero Heller’s mission, it is ruled by Cling the Lofty as the Emperor, through the Grand Council in accordance with the Invasion Timetable.

  Will-be Was: The feared time-drives that allow Jettero Heller to cover the 22½-light-year distance between Blito-P3 (Earth) and Voltar in a little over three days.

  Wister, Jerome Terrance: Name that Jettero Heller is using on Earth.

  Zanco: Cellological equipment and supplies company on Voltar.

  PART TWENTY

  To My Lord Turn, Justiciary of the Royal Courts and Prison, Government City, Planet Voltar, Voltar Confederacy