Solo

  BLINK

  Solo

  Copyright © 2017 by Kwame Alexander

  This title is also available as a Blink ebook.

  Requests for information should be addressed to:

  Blink, 3900 Sparks Drive SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

  Epub Edition June 2017 ISBN 9780310761907

  Hardcover ISBN 978–0–310–76183–9

  ITPE ISBN 978–0–310–76184–6

  Barnes and Noble edition ISBN 978–0–310–62848–4

  Target edition ISBN 978–0–310–62840–8

  Scholastic edition ISBN 978–0–310–09159–2

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any character resemblances to persons living or dead are coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

  BLINK™ is a registered trademark of the Zondervan Corporation.

  Cover design: Micah Kandros Design

  Interior design: Denise Froehlich

  Printed in the United States of America

  * * *

  17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 /LSC/ 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  For my wife, Stephanie, because you love me — KA

  For Garrett and the boys — MRH

  Contents

  Part One: Hollywood There’s this Dream

  Strings

  Chapel

  Texts from Chapel

  Leaving in Ten Minutes

  The Show

  The After-Party

  Hollywood Report

  Who Am I?

  Are You Sure They Aren’t Coming Home?

  Those Eyes Will Be the Death of Me

  Two Years Ago

  Later, I Bumped into Storm

  Trance

  Chambers

  Relentless

  Excuse Me

  She Melts Right in Front of Me

  Voice Mail

  Salutatory

  I Wonder if Anyone Has

  Close One

  Secret

  I Can’t Say I Blame Him

  Texts to Chapel

  Conversation

  The Bridge

  In my House

  While I’m in

  Uncle Stevie

  For all his Flaws

  October 10, 2007

  Track 1: Thinking of You

  The Song’s a hit! Went for Coffee. Break a Leg, Killer!

  Graduation Day

  Climbing the Steps to Speak

  On the Biggest Stage of my Life

  My Father

  Texts from Chapel after Graduation

  Hollywood Report

  Track 2: When the Lights Go Out

  Dream Variation: Spin a Song

  Hovering

  Texts from Chapel

  Conversation

  Knock, Knock

  Conversation

  When the Limo Arrives

  Phone Conversation

  My Favorite Guitarist

  Soundboard

  Conversation

  Texts Conversation

  Voice Mail

  Texts from Chapel

  Deliver Me

  My Sister is Beautiful

  Phone Conversation

  We’re at Rudy’s

  When Doves Cry

  Finding Robert

  We Pay

  Hearing Robert

  He Finishes his Set

  Track 3: Cross Roads Blues

  Out of Gas

  Crisis at the Pump

  Don’t Fret

  The Beginning of a Song

  I Really Got to Start Locking My Door

  After She Finishes

  Hope

  Today is the Day

  Conversation

  How to Throw a Sick Party (According to Storm)

  After the Dance

  Conversation

  She Takes

  Bliss Interrupted

  Party’s Over

  A stretch Limo Pulls Up

  His Eyes Look Like

  After he Finishes Signing Autographs

  Erase Me

  Family Secret

  White Noise

  I Get in the Car and Drive

  My Phone Lights Up

  Text from Chapel

  Texts from Storm

  Text from Rutherford

  Texts from Chapel

  Under the Cherry Moon

  Text to Chapel

  When the Levee Breaks

  Conversation

  Before

  An Earthquake

  Aftershock

  Taking a Stand

  Devastation

  Shelter

  The City of Palms

  On the Taxi Ride Home

  Perspective

  I’ve Known the Rules

  So I Drive

  It Feels

  Day 1

  All the Songs That Make Me Think of You

  Day 2

  Day 3

  Dream Variation: Soul on Fire

  Funny

  Day 4

  Storm Knocks

  The Sadness

  I Miss You

  Day 5

  A Manila Envelope

  Day 6

  I Search

  Phone Conversation

  The Call

  Conversation

  Track 4: I was Young When I Left Home

  Day 7

  Texts to Chapel

  Conversation

  Down the Hall

  Track 5: Sunny

  It’s Not Enough

  Conversation

  Hollywood Report

  I Pack up What Matters

  Conversation

  A Bit?

  It Feels Permanent

  Gone, Like He was Never Really Here

  Leaving Chapel

  Text Conversation

  I Imagine

  I See

  Van Dewish

  Eight Legs and Fangs

  Crying

  You’re Excused

  The Heart

  I Decide

  Shattered

  Storm and I Stare

  Leaving LA

  Before Takeoff

  Track 6: Welcome to the Jungle

  Part Two: West Africa Cramped

  Regrets

  Track 7: Enter Sandman

  Dream Variation: The Ledge

  Sitting

  Conversation?

  I Wake Up

  The Heat

  Outside

  On the Way to the village, We Pass

  Conversation with Taxi Driver

  Texts from Storm

  Texts to Storm

  Junction

  The Morrisons

  Two Hours Later

  Conversation

  Joy Walks

  Twenty Minutes Later

  No Reception

  It is Impolite

  Her Village

  Track 8: Zombie

  Fufu

  Conversation

  On the Way

  Conversation

  Home

  Conversation

  Orphans

  Portrait of a Woman

  Conversation

  I Dig through my Suitcase

  Text Conversation with Storm

  Zzzzzz

  This Morning

  Foreign Language
<
br />   A Village of Faces

  There must be a Hundred

  Welcome

  Stories

  I Wish

  Texts to Storm

  Goodbye

  The Little, Winking Girl

  Mighty Protector

  Stay

  Conversation

  She Tells Me

  Conversation

  Conversation

  Why I Don’t Play Music Anymore

  Confession

  What Begins

  Purple Rain

  Thunderstorm

  Cleansed

  Rainy Season

  I Watch Joy

  Wordscram

  Texts to Storm

  Bedtime

  Alarm

  Breaking Our Fast

  Joy Says

  Text to Storm

  Holiday

  Undeliverable

  Conversation

  After Watching

  The Moment

  Stare

  Family

  What are You Doing, Blade?

  Someone I’m Trying to Forget

  Conversation

  Thought

  After Four Days

  Conversation

  Rock ’n’ Roll, Baby!

  We’re the Morrisons

  Conversation

  Delayed

  Texts from Storm

  Conversation Continued

  Introductions

  Rutherford Gives

  Twinkle, Twinkle

  Luxury

  Track 9: It’s Only Love (Live)

  Freak Show on Wheels

  Sober Coaches

  Conversation

  Perplexed

  Texts to Storm

  Delayed

  The Next Morning

  Unsettling

  Captured

  Track 10: The Star Spangled Banner (Live)

  Music Lessons

  Conversation

  The Elders

  Acting

  All Day

  By Day’s End

  Mirrors

  In their Language

  Game Night

  People are People

  I Wake Up

  Standing Outside

  Happy Birthday

  A Gift Returned

  Sure, I’ve Missed

  Before I Leave

  When We were Younger

  Track 11: With or Without You

  Parting

  Words

  They Return

  Withdrawal

  Conversation

  Detox

  Cursed

  I Pluck

  Diving Back In

  A Day Later

  Over the Next

  On the Fourth Day

  The Duo

  Texts from Storm

  Texts to Storm

  Konko

  Text from Storm

  Conversation

  While he Teaches

  Sunday Night

  Worth the Chance

  The Next Morning

  9:15 am

  Anxiety

  11:09 am

  Track 12: Right Now

  12:31 pm

  1:30 pm

  1:37 pm

  Conversation

  1:59 pm

  Travis

  2:19 pm

  2:22 pm

  2:43 pm

  2:51 pm

  3:02 pm

  Rutherford’s Moment

  Watching Joy

  Joy’s Prayer

  Revelation

  4:09 pm

  Turn off the Camera

  5:25 pm

  The Peak

  My Mother

  She Runs

  Belonging

  Fade to Black

  Don’t Be Afraid

  Conversation

  Sweet Bread. Fruit. Hot Tea.

  Questions

  Dream Variation: Awakening

  A New Day

  We Walk Outside

  Conspiracy

  Track 13: Landslide

  Lucy Walks us to the Path

  Home

  Chaos

  Diagnosis

  The Mosquito

  What Matters

  Unlikely, but True

  Sia is Sitting Up

  In a Voice

  Tuesday, 2:30 am

  Let us Sit, She Says,

  Track 14: (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman

  Sleepy Serenade

  Dear Blade

  Conversation

  Surprise

  Walking Up the Hill

  Why?

  The Procession

  Solo

  I Sing

  Acknowledgments

  Part One:

  Hollywood

  There’s this dream

  I’ve been having

  about my mother

  that scares

  the holy night

  out of me,

  and each time I wake

  from it

  I’m afraid to open

  my eyes

  and face

  the world that awaits, the

  fractured world

  that used to make sense,

  but now seems

  disjointed—islands of possibility

  that float by—like

  a thousand puzzle pieces

  that just don’t fit

  together anymore.

  So I think

  of Chapel

  and grab hold

  of the only other thing

  that matters.

  My guitar.

  Strings

  Mom used to play

  this game

  on the tour bus

  to help us

  go to sleep:

  Who’s the best?

  We’d go through

  every instrument:

  piano, drums, horns.

  Our favorite was guitar.

  My sister, Storm, always said

  Eddie Van Halen

  was her favorite,

  probably ’cause

  he once made her

  pancakes

  at 4 am

  in a Marriott kitchen.

  Ask Rutherford and

  he’d say,

  I’m the best in the world,

  I’m outta this world.

  Electric soul brother interstellar man,

  which is ironic

  because he was trying

  to quote

  Lenny Kravitz, who

  Mom would say

  was in her top three

  along with Jimi Hendrix

  and me,

  just to piss him off.

  Chapel

  is the great song

  in my life.

  The sweet arpeggio

  in my solo.

  Her lines bring

  color and verve

  to my otherwise

  crazy life.

  Without her

  I’d be a one-man band,

  with a played-out sound

  and no audience.

  The magic

  we compose

  is endless,

  immortal.

  We could play

  together

  for centuries.

  If I’m lucky.

  And I love

  the music

  our bodies

  make

  when we’re dancing.

  But there is one thing

  about my girlfriend

  I don’t understand.

  She says

  she doesn’t believe

  in sex

  before marriage,

  but she never

  wants to get married.

  When I ask her, Where is this all going, then?

  she likes to

  get real close,

  eyelash close,

  and say things like

  Let’s live in the moment, babe

  or we don’t need labels,

&n
bsp; and then

  she kisses me

  like we own the world

  and nothing else matters.

  It’s funny how

  going nowhere

  feels like it’s

  going someplace

  fast.

  Texts from Chapel

  7:37 pm

  On your way stop by

  Best Buy pls. Headphones broke.

  Red or purple. K?

  7:47 pm

  They finally left. I

  hate hiding. Wish my dad

  wasn’t so CRAY. He

  7:48 pm

  thinks all the things

  the tabloids say

  about your family

  7:48 pm

  are true. He doesn’t know

  you’re different, Blade.

  He says

  7:48 pm

  you’re going to

  drag me into sex

  and drugs.

  7:49 pm

  Hurry up and get here.

  They’re at Bible study

  ’til 10 . . .

  Leaving in ten minutes

  Sorry. Working on a song.

  Beats or Bose?

  And tell the Reverend I

  only did drugs once.

  The Show

  My father,

  Rutherford Morrison,

  can’t stand

  to be away

  from the stage.

  He has always craved

  the spotlight,

  needs it

  like a drug,

  posing, posturing, profiling

  before millions—

  an electric prophet, or so he thinks,

  capturing concert worshipers

  in the vapors

  of his breath,

  as if his voice

  was preparing them

  for rapture.

  My sister and I

  have always lived

  under the stage,

  beside it,

  behind it.

  The After-Party

  There was always

  another party.

  More loud music.

  More loud groupies.

  Booze

  and still more groupies.

  I was nine.

  He grabbed me

  and held

  a sizzling cig

  in front

  of my face.

  Only it wasn’t a cig.

  He blew smoke

  circles around me

  and laughed.

  My boy.

  The band uncles got

  in on the joke too,

  and I stuck my tongue

  in a shot glass

  full of whiskey,

  soaked it up

  like a dirty sponge.

  I loved making them laugh.

  The whiskey hurt

  my throat and

  stung my eyes.

  But the laughs

  were epic.

  Before I knew it

  I was taking my finger

  and dragging it

  across powdered

  sugar that looked

  like ant snow trails

  on the table.

  Rutherford was too busy

  kissing his ego

  to notice.

  I tasted it once,

  twice, and

  a few more times,