Broken Heart
Kennie Kayoz
Broken Heart
Copyright 2011 by Coyotes Publishing
Pain
It hurts when I see it.
People with there signifigant others, me without shit.
All that love between the two.
While I sit, bein ignored by all.
I can't do this anymore, I have to find someone.
Even though there is no one out there for me.
I'm destined to be alone forever & ever.
I'm destined to live in the dark & feel the pain.
Maybe I should lay it all on the line.
Maybe I should tell her how I feel this time.
Who knows what I should do, besides continuing to swallow my feelings.
Been doin so for 22 years.
I don't know what else to do, things probally won't go my way if I do tell her that.
- Kennie -
Stomach Filled Of Feelings
Why is it that my stomach hurts so much.
It's probally missing the softness of her touch.
The gleem in her eyes anytime she smiled.
I felt it in my stomach everytime we got together.
It's a shame things had to end this way, but they did.
If I could have changed the outcome I would have.
Guess things had to be like this, just my luck.
Never had a chance with her, even though I wanted.
She said things may progress that way.
But they didn't, what else is for me to do.
Might as well settle with bein alone.
That's all that it's goin to be for me.
Oh well it's not like anythin will ever be different.
I should have known, I should have seen.
That through this whole world.
No one is out there
looking for me
- Kennie -
Wednesday
Wednesday is the day that I'm fearing
Wednesday is the day that will suck.
I'm going to be so depressed.
She isn't going to call, she isn't even goin to come.
I wish things wouldn't go that way.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to say.
What should I do to change the outcome.
Should I not ask, then I won't have to worry.
Should I ask then meet my fate.
Should I just randomly call someone.
Call someone I use to goto school with.
What the hell should I do.
Where the hell should I go.
Guess I'm here to live alone.
Guess i'm here to die alone.
- Kennie -
Inspiration
Always the inspiration of mine but she don't know.
The differences of me makes me worry she's gonna say no.
I worry each day that it maybe the last.
We both share a similar past.
Growin up with almost the same childhood.
Worried about not findin someone, but later I would.
Always there to catch me when I fall.
Always willin to make me feel better when I call.
The sweetest thing to me is she.
Petrafied in many ways she'd find someone better than me.
I know I'm not perfect in anyway.
Seein how most of the time I live day 2 day.
She will always have a place in my heart.
No matter what happens from here on out.
I want to give ******** a special shout out.
I love you baby.
- Kennie -
Chance Of A Lifetime
Shes my chance of a life time, no time to start lying.
Shes e verythin I look for in someone I'd want to be with.
No one has any chance at all to ever get with me.
Without her I have no idea where I'd be half the time.
This is my second time takin the chance to rhyme.
No matter how I end it she will always know.
She's my chance of a lifetime.
Let it be heard through this rhyme.
Even if it takes all my life to to show it.
She'll be the luckiest girl, she knows it.
Once a lifetime chance
One shot at one final dance.
No one else could come close.
Never shall I began to boast.
Lovin her always.
ALways givin her the love she wants.
- Kennie -
In The Rain
In the rain I stand, allowin the tears from above to fall.
Listenin to the cries that surround me, as they look upon the dead.
Sorrows continue to fill the sky as it rains more & more.
As I walk around the casket as if nobody sees me moving.
Wondering why they cry so much over the dead.
Trying to talk to them to show them that they are away from all.
Nobody seems to see me, nobody looks my way.
As I start to shout nothing is changed, It's all still the same.
Why don't they react as I start to panic thinking the worse.
Thinking it was all a dream as I try to calm myself.
I throw open the casket to see myself.
In a shock I slammed it shut, not wanting to believe it.
I look over my should to see the devil himself.
I quickly spin around to see a bright light.
Wonderin which am I goin to be placed upon.
The next thing i know an angel appears before me.
The angel is none other than *******, the love of my life.
I run over to hug her as she whispers to me;
"See baby, I told you we'd be together forever"
- Kennie -
Fake Love
******** met Ken on the internet one day.
She enjoyed everythin he had to say.
Two weeks later she went to a friends party.
This is where she met up with an old friend named ****
When Ken called her at the party she acted teh same.
But it was as if she was scared to say his name.
When the party ended she walked on home.
Expecting to talk with Kennie on the phone.
When she came home she wasn't alone.
**** was with her, she forgot all about Kennie.
When people asked about him the only thing she said was "who is he anyway"
Her heart quickly turned cold to him.
As she warmed up to **** one night.
They turned on the TV much to there delight.
A man found slain.
Kennie was his name
- Kennie -
The Call
Callin claimin your cell is broken
Actin like you don't know me.
Lay off the drugs you've been taken.
When it's clear to me your a dumb ass bitch.
Who is lookin to find herself dead in a ditch.
Call and act like you don't know who I be.
Stand up, turn & run & count to three.
Now you got a head start.
Don't think your gonna get away.
When I catch you you'll fear the day.
Take a step back to see yourself in the grave.
Runnin around all fake wantin to be brave.
It's time to eliminate you from this world now.
We have realized your an ugly fucking sow.
No one cares bout you, no one will miss you.
Till your in my trunk black & blue.
Step away, run away.
Don't look into the eyes of evil>
- Kennie -
Fake. Ass. Bitches
&
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Theres many of these F.A.B out there.
Running your mind, tryinto get into my head.
But once you enter you wish you were dead.
The door to my mind only swings one way.
You may enter but won't live to see the exit.
Its about time you all entered for the final time.
Get your name entered into at least one rhyme.
If you can live to see the next day.
Without any mental stress catching up to you.
Then you deserve to be rewarded with more pain.
Since thats all I am to you is a ego booster.
Let yourself run rampid as you wish.
You'll run into myself as you beg for the list.
Warned & scorned you shall be.
Light yourself on fire just for me.
Put yourself through the pain you did to me.
Now you can suffer more, just cause you must.
- Kennie -
No Love
Can't write bout things I don't feel.
While everyone around me is finding it, my heart is cold as steel.
Never once has anyone loved me or told me so.
Never once has anyone hugged me showing signs of love.
They all turn a cold shoulder to me.
Some don't think I see it in them but sadly I do.
They're only out to make my life a living hell too.
To spout my mind as they get my pen to write.
Forever a part of my notebook, that lives in the night.
Through my mind you tell me you felt sorry.
Please quit boring me with the bullshit story.
As much as I try to be what you want.
It quickly becomes more clear to me.
That your just lying to yourself.
So be sure to leave me.
I don’t need you, I never do.
My heart cold as steel, my heart black too.
- Kennie -
Pains Me
It pains me to see all those beautiful girls.
Not bein able to talk to them or be with'em makes me hurl.
It gets me so down at times that I never know what to do.
I'm just a shut in tryin to make my way in the world like you to.
Guess it's just my imposing stature that has ya scared.
To build upon it or not to who really cares.
It pains me to be this way.
Even though it's constantly through out the day.
Everytime I see a beautiful girl I feel like this.
They're all hits when I'm just a swing an a miss.
Everyone around me I drag down.
Sinkin ya so far you'll be dead under the ground.
Maybe I should get up an disappear.
I know I'm nothin more than a pain in the rear.
What more do I need to say I can't describe the pain.
Maybe I need a doctor to perscribed some anti-pain
- Kennie -
Explaining Me
Listen I know what it's like to go through.
Even though I have yet to be physically beaten black & blue.
I know I haven't gone through that physical trama.
But I've gone through alot of verbal shit to test my mental stanima.
I know your just tryin to get to know me an perhaps even get close.
Never did anyone attempt that without stabbin me in the back so they can boast.
I know I'm fucked up, It's something I've delt with all my life.
Some how I still continue to go on everyday with this so called life.
I always have trouble unbottlin my emotions so they always are stuck.
But I never know what to do, I always fade into the background.
Since I hate bein the center of attention, it's just me I know.
I also dislike hanging out with groups of people, guess thats cause of my past.
I know that I'm always quiet, I'm always yelled at by people.
For sayin or doin the wrong thing, I mostly keep mysaelf away from others.
Nothin but bad memories in the past is what things reflect.
I don't know what more to say, this all seems like nothin.
But it's just stupid shit that have made me so fucked up.
- Kennie -
Tough Times
I know no life can be easy in this world so please don't give up.
Although you maybe pregnant with an unwanted child, thanks me on the heads up.
Tough times is never an easy thing to go through.
I felt as if I had to write to release the pain in my stomach continues to drew.
No idea at what it maybe, but I don't like it.
Keepin me awake late at night thinkin bout nothin but you.
I hope you do come out to dinner with us it'll do ya good.
You may not like me for some reason but deep down ya should.
Know that I can't stop thinkin bout you.
Images flash through my mind of you gettin assaulted too.
You may not know how I feel cause i probally don't got the courage.
To show you what I have written.
But if what I feel is love, than I was bitten.
I don't know how you feel bout me, maybe I'll never know.
But through these tough times I'm here for you so.
If you want to talk you got my number.
Even though I'm up late I can't help to wonder.
As well as worry bout you, perhaps your my angel.
I've just been too stupid to see it till now.
- Kennie -
You On My Mind
No matter what I do, no matter what I try.
You are always on my mind most of the time.
Even though I'm scared to tell you cause of what your goin through.
I just want nothin but the best for you.
Although you may not get the chance to read this.
Only cause my mind seems to be in an eternal bliss.
I wish you nothin but the best.
You can give me the rest.
I don’t know if it means anythin to you that I'm here.
It's sometimes like I'm lookin through a mirror.
No matter how much I try I can't stop.
The bad things from happening to you.
The pain in my stomach continues to grow.
With each devistating strike that life lands with each blow.
With me waitin by my phones constantly for replies.
Your the only thing it think of as time creeps by.
I'm sorry if I'm not what you want.
If I'm not just please tell me.
Once I'm told I'll disappear into the night.
Never to bug you anymore.
- Kennie -
What To Do
Now I don't know what to do.
It seems as if I have lost contact with you.
Shall tonight even happen I don't know.
As I sit here an write I feel things sink down low.
Will you ever have a chance to read what I wrote.
I hope, these are emotions from me so take note.
What I write may not always rhyme, but I hope the words are here.
Lossin contact with you is my worse fear.
I know I have a hard time with emotions, expressin'em and all.
But what can I say it's perhaps one of my biggest down falls.
Be it as it may, you haven't left my mind since monday.
Maybe I'm too retarded not to see if anythin exsists.
No matter how much I write bout you it always hurts.
I know as I write this I'm in pain.
If you don't come tonight it'll be nothin but the same.
As of this moment I don't know what to do.
Other than deep down I feel like sheddin tears over you.
- Kennie - br />
Tomorrow (April 22 2005)
Tomorrow is the day in which i tell her how I feel.
The anticipation got me worried that imma get shocked after a big deal.
Too stupid to realize it till now, what will she say.
Someone I can talk to an someone tryin to get through to me each day.
Perhaps tonight is when I should tell her.
No way in hell do I know what to expect.
This is the first time for me to say somethin like this.
Will response be positive like a kiss or negitive like a diss.
No time like the present to find out as I just read.
Apart of Jumpsteady's "The Chaos Theory" he states.
"Tell the girl how you feel, it's a chance to add to your book
The book in which you'll come to see in the after life."
So here goes nothing, positive = win
If somethin bad than, negitive = loss
Got everythin to gain in this one.
Nothin to loose expect part of my life.
As it'll be somethin that'll be in my book.
But if begitive I'll want to forget.
1 Chance
1 Shot
1 Time
1 Girl
- Kennie -
Message Sent
Well now the message has been sent.
We shall see if I end up regrettin.
What I said, will she read it.
Will she reply.
She's had a tough week.
Her life lately has gone through alotta trama.
I sit here on my bed awaitin drama.
Good or bad is up to her.
As for me I've had nothin but bad.
Which is really sad.
Although many say you can't have bad all your life.
It shall run out at sometime, so I might as well try.
If response is negitive I shall time time to heal.
It'll make me realize what truly is real.
Time shall say, but who knows she may not read it.
- Kennie -
