Ash's Letter to Meghan, Page 1Julie Kagawa
I don’t think this letter will ever reach you—I hope it will not—but I’m writing it anyway.
Because you need to know what I attempted; that my oath to you was not in vain,
that my last thoughts, feelings, dreams, everything—were of you.
Meghan Chase. My Iron Queen. I hate the distance that separates us now. The thought
that you are so close, right here in the Nevernever, and I cannot see you, cannot touch you, is torture. I wish it were something I could fi ght; put my sword through its heart and watch it die, but wishing for something, even desperately, doesn’t make it so.
Which brings me to the crux of this letter.
I will not live without you. I knew that, when I made my vow under Machina’s tree.
If you had died—and my hand shakes a little when I write that word—I would have
chased your spirit across the universe, to the place where your soul came to rest,
and demanded the keepers of the gates to let me see you once more. But you,
my stubborn, intractable Meghan, you survived, which makes my task that much
easier. Tomorrow, I will begin the journey to honor my vow; I will fi nd a way to be
with you, and I will not stop until I have succeeded or I am gone.
If I succeed in my quest, then you will never see this letter. I hope that it will never see the light of day. However, if you are reading it now, then it means that I have failed you. And, if I know him at all, it will be Puck who brings this letter to you. I know he cares for you deeply, and if he manages to fi nd a way where I have failed, to survive in the Iron Realm without harm, then you could not do better than Robin Goodfellow.
Eternity is a long time to spend alone, Meghan. Even if I can’t forgive him for what he did, I will not begrudge your happiness with someone else, even Puck. Especially Puck.
And so, as I come to the end of this letter, I will say only this. I belong to you. Forever.
My journey could take me far, farther then I have ever ventured into the Nevernever,
and what I search for could very well be impossible. But know that I will not give up, and that every step of the way, I will be thinking of you. I am yours, Meghan, my love.
I will always be your knight.
Julie Kagawa, Ash's Letter to Meghan
(Series: The Iron Fey # 3.60)
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