The Great Leveller
Joe Abercrombie
Best Served Cold
The Heroes
Red Country
www.gollancz.co.uk
Praise for Joe Abercrombie:
‘Joe Abercrombie’s Best Served Cold is a bloody and relentless epic of vengeance and obsession in the grand tradition, a kind of splatterpunk sword ’n sorcery Count of Monte Cristo, Dumas by way of Moorcock. His cast features tyrants and torturers, a pair of poisoners, a serial killer, a treacherous drunk, a red-handed warrior and a blood-soaked mercenary captain. And those are the good guys . . . The battles are vivid and visceral, the action brutal, the pace headlong, and Abercrombie piles the betrayals, reversals, and plot twists one atop another to keep us guessing how it will all come out. This is his best book yet’
George RR Martin
‘A satisfyingly brutal fantasy quest. Best served cold? Modern fantasy doesn’t get much hotter than this’
SFX
‘Joe Abercrombie is probably the brightest star among the new generation of British fantasy writers . . . Abercrombie never underestimates the horrors that people are prepared to inflict on one another, or their longlasting, often unexpected, consequences. Abercrombie writes a vivid, well-paced tale that never loosens its grip. His action scenes are cinematic in the best sense, and the characters are all distinct and interesting’
The Times
‘Spiked with cynicism, and indeed spikes, Best Served Cold has as much in common with a classic Hollywood caper as it does with the rest of the genre. Moral ambiguity, hard violence, and that weaving of laughter, horror and pathos make it breathe, though the brilliant characters are what really make this soar. This is the highest grade of adult, commercial fantasy we have seen for quite a while’
Deathray
‘Abercrombie is both fiendishly inventive and solidly convincing, especially when sprinkling his appallingly vivid combat scenes with humour so dark that it’s almost ultraviolet’
Publishers’ Weekly
‘Storms along at a breakneck pace. Each character has a history of betrayal and a wobbly moral compass, giving further realism and depth to Abercrombie’s world. The violence is plentiful, the methods of exacting revenge are eye-wateringly inventive and the characters well fleshed out. A fan of Bernard Cornwell’s historical escapades could easily fall for it. Believe the hype’
Waterstone’s Book Quarterly
‘All in all, we can’t say enough good things about Mr Abercrombie’s latest addition to the genre. It’s intelligent, measure, thoughtful, well paced and considered, but retains a sense of fun that has flavoured the rest of his excellent biography. We can’t recommend it enough’
Sci Fi Now
‘This is deep, dark stuff but it’s a mark of that nice Mr Abercrombie’s talent that he can wrap such complex themes in the kind of rip-roaring adventure that is so utterly compelling that, from the first page, it is impossible to put down’
Sci-Fi London
‘Abercrombie weaves a dense plot, but not at the expense of the pace, and casts an ensemble of gritty, odd but always interesting characters to undertake Murcatto’s revenge. Fans of Abercrombie’s work will not be disappointed by his latest offering, which features all his usual hallmarks: cold steel, black comedy, fully realised characters and internecine struggles, both personal and epic’
Dreamwatch
‘Abercrombie writes dark, adult fantasy, by which I mean there’s a lot of stabbing in it, and after people stab each other they sometimes have sex with each other. His tone is morbid and funny and hardboiled, not wholly dissimilar to that of Iain Banks . . . Like Fritz Leiber you can see in your head where the blades are going, what is clanging off what, the sweat, the blood, the banter. And like George R. R. Martin Abercrombie has the will and the cruelty to actually kill and maim his characters’
Time Magazine
Title Page
Praise
Best Served Cold
Cover
Dedication
Title Page
Benna Murcatto Saves a Life
I – TALINS
Land of Opportunity
The Bone-Thief
Fish out of Water
Six and One
Bloody Instructions
II – WESTPORT
Poison
Science and Magic
The Safest Place in the World
Evil Friends
Two Twos
Plans and Accidents
Repaid in Full
III – SIPANI
Fogs and Whispers
The Arts of Persuasion
The Life of the Drinker
Left Out
A Few Bad Men
The Peacemakers
Cooking up Trouble
Sex and Death
That’s Entertainment
What Happened
IV – VISSERINE
Vengeance, Then
Downwards
Rats in a Sack
The Forlorn Hope
Mercy and Cowardice
The Odd Couple
Darkness
The Connoisseur
Vile Jelly
Other People’s Scores
The Fencing Master
V – PURANTI
Sixes
The Eye-Maker
Prince of Prudence
Neither Rich nor Poor
Heroic Efforts, New Beginnings
The Traitor
King of Poisons
No Worse
Harvest Time
The Old New Captain General
VI – OSPRIA
His Plan of Attack
Politics
No More Delays
All Business
The Fate of Styria
To the Victors . . .
So Much for Nothing
Shifting Sands
VII – TALINS
Return of the Native
The Lion’s Skin
Preparation
Rules of War
One Nation
All Dust
The Inevitable
Thus the Whirligig . . .
Seeds
All Change
Happy Endings
Acknowledgements
The Heroes
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Order of Battle
BEFORE THE BATTLE
The Times
The Peacemaker
The Best of Us
Black Dow
What War?
Old Hands
New Hands
Reachey
The Right Thing
DAY ONE
Silence
Ambition
Give and Take
The Very Model
Scale
Ours Not to Reason Why
Cry Havoc and …
Devoutly to be Wished
Casualties
The Better Part of Valour
Paths of Glory
The Day’s Work
The Defeated
Fair Treatment
Tactics
Rest and Recreation
DAY TWO
Dawn
Opening Remarks
The Infernal Contraptions
Reasoned Debate
Chains of Command
Closing Arguments
Straight Edge
Escape
The Bridge
Strange Bedfellows
Hearts and Minds
Good Deeds
One Day More
Bones
The King’s Last Hero
My Land
DAY THREE
The Standard Issue
Shadows
Under the Wing
Names
Still Yesterday
For What We Are About to Receive …
The Riddle of the Ground
Onwards and Upwards
More Tricks
The Tyranny of Distance
Blood
Pointed Metal
Peace in Our Time
The Moment of Truth
Spoils
Stuff Happens
AFTER THE BATTLE
End of the Road
By the Sword
The Currents of History
Terms
Family
New Hands
Old Hands
Everyone Serves
Just Deserts
Black Calder
Retired
Acknowledgements
Red Country
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
I: TROUBLE
Some Kind of Coward
The Easy Way
Just Men
The Best Man
All Got a Past
The Stolen
II: FELLOWSHIP
Conscience and the Cock-Rot
New Lives
The Rugged Outdoorsman
Driftwood
Reasons
Oh God, the Dust
Sweet’s Crossing
Dreams
The Wrath of God
The Practical Thinkers
The Fair Price
III: CREASE
Hell on the Cheap
Plots
Words and Graces
That Simple
Yesterday’s News
Blood Coming
The Sleeping Partner
Fun
High Stakes
Old Friends
Nowhere to Go
IV: DRAGONS
In Threes
Among the Barbarians
Bait
Savages
The Dragon’s Den
Greed
V: TROUBLE
The Tally
Going Back
Answered Prayers
Sharp Ends
Nowhere Fast
Times Change
The Cost
Last Words
Some Kind of Coward
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Copyright Page
BEST SERVED COLD
JOE
ABERCROMBIE
Table of Contents
Dedication
Title Page
Benna Murcatto Saves a Life
I – TALINS
Land of Opportunity
The Bone-Thief
Fish out of Water
Six and One
Bloody Instructions
II – WESTPORT
Poison
The Safest Place in the World
Evil Friends
Two Twos
Plans and Accidents
Repaid in Full
III – SIPANI
Fogs and Whispers
The Arts of Persuasion
The Life of the Drinker
Left Out
A Few Bad Men
The Peacemakers
Cooking up Trouble
Sex and Death
That’s Entertainment
What Happened
IV – VISSERINE
Vengeance, Then
Downwards
Rats in a Sack
The Forlorn Hope
Mercy and Cowardice
The Odd Couple
Darkness
The Connoisseur
Vile Jelly
Other People’s Scores
The Fencing Master
V – PURANTI
Sixes
The Eye-Maker
Prince of Prudence
Neither Rich nor Poor
Heroic Efforts, New Beginnings
The Traitor
King of Poisons
No Worse
Harvest Time
The Old New Captain General
VI – OSPRIA
His Plan of Attack
Politics
No More Delays
All Business
The Fate of Styria
To the Victors . . .
So Much for Nothing
Shifting Sands
VII – TALINS
Return of the Native
The Lion’s Skin
Preparation
Rules of War
One Nation
All Dust
The Inevitable
Thus the Whirligig . . .
Seeds
All Change
Happy Endings
Acknowledgements
For Grace
One day you will read this
And be slightly worried
Benna Murcatto Saves a Life
The sunrise was the colour of bad blood. It leaked out of the east and stained the dark sky red, marked the scraps of cloud with stolen gold. Underneath it the road twisted up the mountainside towards the fortress of Fontezarmo – a cluster of sharp towers, ash-black against the wounded heavens. The sunrise was red, black and gold.
The colours of their profession.
‘You look especially beautiful this morning, Monza.’
She sighed, as if that was an accident. As if she hadn’t spent an hour preening herself before the mirror. ‘Facts are facts. Stating them isn’t a gift. You only prove you’re not blind.’ She yawned, stretched in her saddle, made him wait a moment longer. ‘But I’ll hear more.’
He noisily cleared his throat and held up one hand, a bad actor preparing for his grand speech. ‘Your hair is like to . . . a veil of shimmering sable!’
‘You pompous cock. What was it yesterday? A curtain of midnight. I liked that better, it had some poetry to it. Bad poetry, but still.’
‘Shit.’ He squinted up at the clouds. ‘Your eyes, then, gleam like piercing sapphires, beyond price!’
‘I’ve got stones in my face, now?’
‘Lips like rose petals?’
She spat at him, but he was ready and dodged it, the phlegm clearing his horse and falling on the dry stones beside the track. ‘That’s to make your roses grow, arsehole. You can do better.’
‘Harder every day,’ he muttered. ‘That jewel I bought looks wonderful well on you.’
She held up her right hand to admire it, a ruby the size of an almond, catching the first glimmers of sunlight and glistening like an open wound. ‘I’ve had worse gifts.’
‘It matches your fiery temper.’
She snorted. ‘And my bloody reputation.’
‘Piss on your reputation! Nothing but idiots’ chatter! You’re a dream. A vision. You look like . . .’ He snapped his fingers. ‘The very Goddess of War!’
‘Goddess, eh?’
‘Of War. You like it?’
‘It’ll do. If you can kiss Duke Orso’s arse half so well, we might even get a bonus.’