Beneath This Man (This Man Trilogy), Page 23

  Sam reaches over and plants a kiss on her cheek. ‘Feeling left out?’

  She bats him away as the waiter places our lunch on the table. ‘No, I’m not!’

  Everyone tucks in, including Jesse, and we chat and laugh between eating. It doesn’t escape my notice that Sam and Drew often flick fond looks over to mine and Jesse’s side of the table.

  My mind starts drifting to Jesse’s reaction to Drew’s comment. His suggestion that it’s a slippery slope after your mid-thirties is a bit over-the-top. Jesse’s physique is melt worthy. I’m suddenly attacked by the very unwelcome thought that is Jesse and dabbling. What if he’s given up on the dabbling and is making do with me. He’s retired, so to speak. Well, that just makes me feel shitty. I feel his hand stroking over my thigh as he picks at his sandwich with his damaged hand. It’s looking a lot better, all the bruising nearly gone, but the red welts on his wrists are still there. They seem to be screaming at me; look.

  My eyes snap to Jesse’s when he nudges my knee with his. He gives me a questioning look, obviously noticing my line of sight and probably my reverie. I’m sure he can tap into my thoughts. I shake my head and smile, but I doubt that satisfies his worry at my daydream.

  ‘I better get back to work.’ I say regretfully. It’s been nice being relatively normal at lunch – as normal as it can be when you’re eating with the owner of a super plush sex haven and two of its members.

  ‘I’m coming.’ Jesse chucks the remaining half of his BLT down on his plate and gets up from his chair.

  ‘It’s a two minute walk around the corner.’ I say tiredly. I halt any further objections when he glares at me, so instead of arguing with him, I make my way around the table and kiss them all goodbye, shoving Kate some money for mine and Jesse’s lunch.

  She trusts it back in my hand. ‘Jesse already settled the bill.’

  He did? I look at Jesse, but he is too busy shaking hands with the boys’ to notice my reproachful stare. He collects me and starts leading me out of the bar.

  ‘Hey!’ Kate shouts to my back. ‘Saturday night, girly drinks?’

  I stop and spin round to face her, flashing a what-do-you-think-you’re-playing-at look. She doesn’t seem to notice my reaction. No, she is too busy watching for Jesse’s reaction to her request. I turn to look up at him. He’s shifting uncomfortably. Oh Kate! Fancy suggesting something so stupid. I see Sam and Drew both watching intently too, waiting for Jesse’s response.

  ‘Maybe next week.’ I say as confidently as I can.

  ‘You can go.’ Jesse says from behind me.

  I can go? What does he mean, I can go? ‘No, we have The Manor anniversary tomorrow. I’ll be knackered.’ I affirm. I do want to go, but I know he’ll prohibit alcohol, the bloody control freak. I don’t get legless all of the time, and the last time I did, it was his fault. I’ve got so much to dump on Kate as well. Both of us have, by the sounds of things. This little lunch has only clipped the corners.

  ‘Hey, he said it’s cool.’ Kate complains.

  ‘I’ll speak to you later.’ I say dismissively, hoping she will take the bloody hint and shut her gob.

  ‘Oh, yes, of course,’ She winks. ‘later.’

  I want to throw my bag at her, but then I feel Jesse tug me slightly, preventing me from following through on my intention. Instead, I toss another dirty look at her before turning and letting Jesse lead me out of the bar.

  We walk out onto Piccadilly into the lunchtime crowd, and I can feel the mild tension between us. He drops my hand and drapes an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side.

  When we turn into Berkeley Street, I stop and face him. ‘If I go out, I won’t be drinking, will I?’

  ‘No.’ he says flatly. I roll my eyes and carry on walking. ‘You can have a drink on Friday.’ He catches me up and replaces his arm over my shoulder.

  Yes, I can have a drink on Friday because he’ll be there to watch over me. The problem is, I’m not comfortable drinking in front of him. It wouldn’t feel right, especially knowing his little issue with control and alcohol.

  ‘Would you get the doormen to spy on me too?’ I grumble.

  ‘I don’t ask them to spy on you, Ava. I ask them to watch over you.’

  ‘And call you if I don’t follow the rules?’ I quip, earning myself a little nudge on the hip.

  ‘No, and call me if you are rolling around on the bar floor,’ he says dryly, ‘with your non-existent dress around your waist.’

  I look up at him and find accusing eyes. Okay, yes, I was on the bar floor, but I wasn’t rolling, and I wasn’t steaming drunk. Not that time, anyway. Kate was and she took me down with her, and as for the dress? Well, that’s a trivial issue, and one that’s now in a dozen strips after neurotic man here shredded the damn thing. I could go out, have a couple of glasses of wine, wear something acceptable and not roll around on the floor. Then, no red alert would need to be issued by the doorman. Maybe I could stay at Kate’s so I’m not rubbing his nose in it. I laugh to myself at my ambitious idea. He will never let me stay at Kate’s.

  I let him hold me close to his side as we carry on our way to my office. ‘You’ve got to let me go now.’ I say as we near. Patrick might be there and I’ve not mentioned any sort of business lunch with Mr Ward. This is painfully difficult.

  ‘No,’ he grumbles.

  ‘What are you going to do for the rest of the day?’ This I really want to know. Please let him say that he’s got a stack of stuff to occupy himself with so I can get to Matt’s and get my stuff without worrying about fobbing him off and lying to him. Withheld information is not the same as lying.

  He pouts. ‘Think about you.’

  That doesn’t make me feel any better. ‘I’ll be back at yours as soon as I finish work.’ I say, realising instantly that I’ve just lied. I use every ounce of energy to stop myself reaching for my hair.

  ‘Ours!’ he corrects. ‘What time?’

  ‘Six-ish.’ Give or take an hour, I add to myself.

  ‘You like that tag on, don’t you? Ish…’ He narrows his eyes on me, and I feel scrutinised. He can’t possibly know my plans. Only Kate knows.

  ‘ish.’ I counter, leaning on him for a kiss.

  He grabs me and leans me back over his arm in a ridiculous theatrical performance before kissing the life out of me in the middle of Berkeley Square. People sidestep us and tut as they pass, but I couldn’t give a toss.

  ‘God, I fucking love, love, love you.’ he says against my lips.

  I grin. ‘I know you do.’

  He pulls me back up to a vertical position and then buries his face in my neck to chew my ear. ‘I can’t get enough of you. Let me take you home.’

  I know he can’t, he’s pretty open on that fact, and I’m so tempted to jump work and let him. I’ve not got a massive amount to see to, nothing that can’t wait, and I’m loving his mood – demands aside.

  My phone starts singing, snapping me from my rebellious brainwave, and I fish around in my bag while letting Jesse stick to my neck. When I lay my hands on it, I hold it above Jesse’s head to see who it is. I groan. Of all the times Mikael could call, he calls now?

  Jesse must detect my uneasiness because he instantly pulls back and looks at me with an enquiring eye. ‘Who is it?’

  ‘Oh, just a client.’ I shove my phone in my bag. I’ll call him back. ‘I’ll see you at your place.’ I go to walk away, but he grasps my wrist.

  ‘Damn it, Ava. OURS! Who was it?’ His sudden change of temper catches me off guard.

  ‘It’s Mikael,’ I grate. ‘Just a client.’ I add, to reinforce Mikael’s status in my life. This might be one side of Jesse that I cannot cure; his insane jealousy and possessiveness. I yank my wrist free from him and start the short remaining distance to my office, leaving Jesse on the pavement. And he called me the green eyed monster?

  My phone starts ringing again, and I retrieve it as I enter the office. ‘Mikael,’ I greet.

  ‘Ava, I’m calling to
confirm our Monday appointment.’ His soft voice seeps into my ears. Jesse might see him as a threat, but he’s not, although his voice is really quite sexy. ‘Would midday suit?’ he asks.

  I collapse in my chair and swivel to face my desk, horrified to find Jesse stood over me, prowling like a raging beast, his chest heaving. He looks incensed. I scan the office and see Tom and Victoria sat at their desks watching intently, making no attempt to hide their interest. Then I glance over my shoulder to find Patrick in his office, but, thank God, he’s oblivious, looking completely wrapped up in something on his computer screen.

  ‘Ava?’

  With the impending drama unfolding before my eyes, I forgot that I’m in the middle of a business call. ‘Mikael, I’m sorry,’ I look up at Jesse questioningly, but he ignores me, continuing with his menacing performance with no regard for our location or spectators. ‘Yes, fine.’ I try and sound professional and assertive. I fail miserably. I sound edgy and nervous.

  ‘Are you okay?’ His question throws me. Clearly I don’t sound okay.

  ‘Yes, fine, thank you.’

  ‘Good. So, you broke your own rule?’

  My heart skips a few beats. ‘Pardon?’ I squeeze the word through my sudden nervous breathing.

  ‘Jesse Ward. He’s a client, yes?’

  I don’t know what to say. No, he wasn’t a client, not when I was working on Lusso, but I’m not stupid enough to point that out. Mikael knows I’m supposed to be working for Jesse. Supposed to be. I haven’t been back to The Manor yet, and Jesse hasn’t pushed it. ‘Yes.’ It’s the only word I can think of.

  ‘How long you have been seeing him?’

  My blood runs cold as I search my brain for the right thing to say. ‘Urhhh, a month-ish.’ I stammer down the phone. Why is he asking this?

  ‘Hmmm. That’s very interesting.’ he replies.

  My blood runs even colder. Why would that be very interesting? I’m still staring into the green eyes of the man I would die for, and I’ve got another man on the end of the phone sounding like he’s got something to tell me – something that’s going to send me crashing and burning from Central Jesse Cloud Nine, not that I’m on it at this particular point in time.

  ‘Why would it be?’ I ask. I sound terribly nervous, which is fine because I am. What does he know?

  ‘We will discuss that when we meet.’

  ‘Okay.’ I hang up. That was unbelievably rude, but I don’t know what else to do or say. Jesse is crowding my desk, looking like he might rip my head off, but for what? Bloody hell, in the space of five minutes, we’ve gone from cavorting on the pavement to a Mexican stand-off.

  We stare at each other for a while and I flick my gaze over to Tom and Victoria, who seem to have settled in for the show. To be fair, it is pink elephant room territory. He’s not to be ignored, and even if their heads were down, I know their full attention would still be on the brooding man looming over my desk, emanating hostility. Their brazenness could be classed as brave.

  I settle my eyes back on Jesse, but I’m reluctant to make the first move for fear of it all blowing up and Patrick coming to investigate the commotion. I can’t sit here all day looking at him, though. ‘I’m at work.’ I say quietly and tightly. I’ve no faith in my feigned stanchness. He looks fit to burst with rage.

  ‘Who was that?’ He nods at my phone.

  ‘You already know the answer to that question.’ I say, placing my phone on my desk. Was his performance in front of Mikael anything to do with this? Mikael knows something and Jesse knows he does. That much is obvious.

  ‘You won’t see him again.’ he grinds the words out, clearly and slowly.

  Okay, now I’m very worried. ‘Why?’ I don’t bother pointing out that Mikael is a client. He knows that and judging by the look on his face, he doesn’t care.

  ‘You just won’t. It’s not a request, Ava. You won’t defy me on this.’ He starts chewing that fucking lip, still brooding, still shaking with anger.

  I can’t do this here – not in the middle of my office. I also can’t withdraw from the Life contract. I’m totally fucked – completely fucking screwed. I need a drink, more now than ever. ‘I’ll see you at Lusso.’ I say quietly.

  ‘Yes, you will.’ He turns and stalks out.

  I flop back in my chair and release a long rush of breath that I hadn’t realised I was holding. Life with Jesse is a frigging roller coaster and now he’s stropped off, I’m going to be worried about him for the rest of the afternoon. I’m bursting with uncertainties, but I know one thing for certain. I’m not going back to Lusso tonight. I need time, clear thinking space to sort myself out before I’m landed with more shit. He answers a question, then another pops up.

  ‘Gosh, that man can do a sexy brood,’ Tom chirps. ‘Been back to The Manor lately, darling?’ He lowers his glasses, and I know immediately that Victoria isn’t as stupid as we all think she is. Victoria starts giggling for the first time in two days.

  I want to rant at her and accuse her of prissiness, and then tell Tom to get a personal shopper fast, but that would be childish, and I don’t know if I can trust myself to stop there. I feel fit to burst with frustration and stress, so whoever is unlucky enough to tip me over the edge will be copping it in a big way. Luckily for Tom and Victoria, Patrick saves their bacon before I let loose on them.

  ‘Flower,’ he says as he perches on the corner of my desk. It creaks its customary protest, I wince my customary wince and Patrick performs his customary ignorance. ‘Now, Mikael Van Der Haus has been in touch and insisted on a research trip to Sweden.’

  Oh fuck. I didn’t see that coming.

  After being awarded the design contract at Lusso, Mikael’s partner had insisted on genuine Italian everything, so I was sent to Italy on a research and sourcing trip. Mikael has stressed his desire for sustainable materials on Life, but I didn’t anticipate this.

  The complexity of this proposal hits me hard in the stomach. The fact that the trip will be in aid of Mikael’s project will probably send Jesse to the grave, and if I go by what has just transpired, I will probably be in that grave with him.

  ‘Is it really necessary?’ I ask. Please say no, please say no.

  ‘Absolutely, Mikael insisted on it. I’ll look at flights.’ He creaks his way back up from my desk and takes himself back to his office.

  Mikael insisted? I’m in trouble here. There is not a chance in hell that I’ll get to Sweden, not with Jesse to stop me, and then where will that leave me? I know where…job-less, that’s where. I break out in a sweat.

  ‘Coffee, Ava?’ Sally appears from the stationary cupboard, looking as miserable as she did earlier. I need wine desperately.

  ‘No thanks, Sally.’ I answer.

  I look up and see Tom and Victoria with their heads down. Good. I can spend the rest of the afternoon worrying about my life drama in peace. I suddenly wish I didn’t have to pick my stuff up after work. Seeing Matt is the last thing I want to do.

  ‘Here you are, flower. Some flight details. Let me know what suits.’ He hands me a print out of scheduled flights and I shove it in my bag. I’ll think about that later. He leaves me in peace and I feebly try to carry on with my work.

  Chapter 14

  Six o’clock approaches and I start clearing my desk. Everyone else has left, so it’s down to me to do the office checks and lock up. Kate pulls up in Margo Junior and I jump in.

  ‘I can’t believe you suggested a girls night out in front of Jesse!’ I fire at her immediately as I settle and put my belt on. In my huffy state, I begrudgingly marvel at the comfort of Kate’s new van.

  ‘Nice to see you too.’ She pulls into the traffic. ‘He said you can go, so what’s the problem?’

  ‘The problem is, he won’t let me drink because he has this unreasonable worry that if he’s not there to look out for me, I might end up dead or something.’

  She laughs. ‘How sweet.’

  I scoff . ‘No, it’s not. It’s unreasonable.’r />
  ‘Pah! He’ll never know. Let’s be rebels!’

  ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’ I laugh, although I really feel like being a rebel at the moment. I feel like getting drunk, but that would just be thoughtless. ‘He’s just thrown a rage over a male client. He actually hijacked my meeting with Mikael Van Der Haus and marked his territory. It was mortifying.’ I blurt it out, still racing through reasons for Mikael to find my relationship with Jesse interesting.

  ‘Yikes!’

  ‘On the plus side, though, I do know how old he is now.’

  Kate swings her blues to me with a look of excitement. ‘Really?’

  I nod. ‘Really.’

  ‘Come on then. Reveal the mystery of ages.’

  ‘Thirty seven.’

  ‘No!’ she says dramatically. ‘Really? He doesn’t look it. How did you find out?’

  ‘I introduced Jesse to the truth fuck yesterday morning.’ I don’t know why I have completely, unashamedly admitted that because I know she’ll be pumping me for more information. Do I care?

  ‘You’ve known a whole day and not told me?’

  ‘Sorry.’ I shrug. There’s a lot more than his age. A lot more, but I need wine to delve into that shit. I need a night out to off load it all on Kate.

  ‘What’s a truth fuck?’ She frowns.

  There we are. ‘It involves Jesse handcuffed to the bed and me with a vibrator,’ I look at her. ‘He doesn’t like sharing me, even with a machine.’ I add dryly. She bursts into laughter and the van swerves. I grab the door. ‘Kate!’

  ‘Sorry,’ she splutters. ‘Oh, I love it!’

  I’ve got so much to push on her, but her own situation is worrying me. ‘What’s going on with you and Sam?’

  She stops laughing immediately. ‘Nothing.’

  I roll my eyes on a dramatic sigh. ‘Nothing. Of course.’

  ‘Hey, what the hell are you wearing to this big bash?’ she asks, in an obvious diversion from my enquiries.

  I inwardly groan. Am I even going now? ‘I don’t know, Jesse is supposed to be taking me shopping.’

  ‘Oh? He is, is he?’ she muses. ‘Make the most of old money bags.’