Score!

  About the Book

  Sir Roberto Rannaldini, the most successful but detested conductor in the world, had two ambitions: to seduce his ravishing nineteen-year-old stepdaughter, Tabitha Campbell-Black, and to put his mark on musical history by making the definitive film of Verdi’s darkest opera, Don Carlos.

  As Rannaldini, Tristan, his charismatic French director, a volatile cast and bolshy French crew gather at Rannaldini's haunted abbey for filming, it is inevitable that violent feuds, abandoned bonking, temperamental screaming, and devious plotting will ensue. But although everyone wished Rannaldini dead, no one actually thought the Maestro would be murdered. Or that after the dreadful deed some very bizarre things would continue to occur.

  Score! is Jilly Cooper’s most thrilling novel to date.

  Jilly Cooper

  SCORE!

  This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  Epub ISBN: 9781409032380

  Version 1.0

  www.randomhouse.co.uk

  TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS

  61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA

  a division of The Random House Group Ltd

  www.booksattransworld.co.uk

  SCORE!

  A CORGI BOOK : 9780552156363

  First published in Great Britain in 2000 by Bantam Pressa division of Transworld Publishers

  Corgi edition published 2000

  Corgi edition reissued 2007

  Copyright © Jilly Cooper 1999

  Jilly Cooper has asserted her right under the Copyright,

  Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

  This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

  Addresses for Random House Group Ltd companies outside the UK can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk

  The Random House Group Ltd Reg. No. 954009

  4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  About the Book

  Title

  Copyright

  About the Author

  By Jilly Cooper

  Dedication

  Cast of Characters

  The Animals

  Don Carlos: The Initial Cast of the Film

  Map

  Overture 1977

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Chapter 79

  Chapter 80

  Chapter 81

  Chapter 82

  Chapter 83

  Chapter 84

  Chapter 85

  Chapter 86

  Chapter 87

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Jilly Cooper is a journalist, writer and media superstar. The author of many number one bestselling novels, she lives in Gloucestershire with her husband Leo, her rescue greyhound Feather and her black cat Feral.

  She was appointed OBE in 2004 for services to literature, and in 2009 was awarded an honorary Doctorate of Letters by the University of Gloucestershire for her contribution to literature and services to the County.

  Find out more about Jilly Cooper at her website www.jillycooper.co.uk

  By Jilly Cooper

  FICTION

  RIDERS

  RIVALS

  POLO

  THE MAN WHO MADE HUSBANDS JEALOUS

  APPASSIONATA

  SCORE!

  PANDORA

  WICKED!

  JUMP!

  NON-FICTION

  ANIMALS IN WAR

  CLASS

  HOW TO SURVIVE CHRISTMAS

  HOTFOOT TO ZABRISKIE POINT (with Patrick Lichfield)

  INTELLIGENT AND LOYAL

  JOLLY MARSUPIAL

  JOLLY SUPER

  JOLLY SUPERLATIVE

  JOLLY SUPER TOO

  SUPER COOPER

  SUPER JILLY

  SUPER MEN AND SUPER WOMEN

  THE COMMON YEARS

  TURN RIGHT AT THE SPOTTED DOG

  WORK AND WEDLOCK

  ANGELS RUSH IN

  ARAMINTA’S WEDDING

  CHILDREN’S BOOKS

  LITTLE MABEL

  LITTLE MABEL’S GREAT ESCAPE

  LITTLE MABEL SAVES THE DAY

  LITTLE MABEL WINS

  ROMANCE

  BELLA

  EMILY

  HARRIET

  IMOGEN

  LISA & CO

  OCTAVIA

  PRUDENCE

  ANTHOLOGIES

  THE BRITISH IN LOVE

  VIOLETS AND VINEGAR

  To Ann Mills,

  dearest of friends,

  with love and gratitude.

  CAST OF CHARACTERS

  JAMES BENSON A very smooth, extremely expensive private doctor.

  BETTY One of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.

  TEDDY BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s head gardener, renowned for his green fingers and
wandering hands.

  MRS BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s long-suffering housekeeper.

  MR BROWN An Australian racehorse owner.

  MISS BUSSAGE Rannaldini’s PA – a gorgon.

  RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK Multi-millionaire owner/trainer, ex-Olympic show jumper and Minister for Sport. Director of Venturer Television. Still Mecca for most women.

  TAGGIE CAMPBELL-BLACK His adored second wife – an angel.

  MARCUS CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s son by his first marriage, recent winner of the Appleton International piano competition.

  TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK Mistress of the Horse for Don Carlos. Rupert’s estranged daughter from his rider.

  XAVIER CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian son.

  BIANCA CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian daughter.

  EDDIE CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s father, five times married and raring to go. A sexual buccaneer of the old school.

  BRUCE CASSIDY Belegauered press officer for Don Carlos. Inevitably nicknamed ‘Hype-along’.

  CHLOE CATFORD Mellifluous mezzo soprano, and compilation queen. Sings Princess Eboli in Don Carlos Significant Other Woman in several marriages.

  GIUSEPPE CAVALLI Capricious Italian bass, the ghost of the Emperor Charles V in Don Carlos. The inamorato of Granville Hastings, he sings like an angel and drinks like a fish.

  LADY CHISLEDON A pillar of Paradise.

  CLIVE Rannaldini’s sinister leatherclad henchman.

  MISS CRICKLADE Paradise village busybody.

  HOWIE DENSTON Artist’s agent and ghastly creep who runs London office of Shepherd Denston, toughest music agents in New York.

  DIZZY Rupert Campbell-Black’s comely head groom.

  DETECTIVE SERGEANT KEVIN FANSHAWE Rutminster CID smoothie and new-style catcher of villains.

  FLORENCE Hortense de Montigny’s ancient retainer.

  CHRISTY FOXE Indefatigable PA during recording of Don Carlos.

  DETECTIVE SERGEANT TIMOTHY GABLECROSS Old-style catcher of villains.

  BERNARD GUÉRIN Battle-scarred veteran. First assistant director, Don Carlos, Tristan de Montigny’s droit-hand man, who acts as sergeant major keeping order on the set.

  DAME HERMIONE HAREFIELD World-famous diva and Rannaldini’s mistress. Seriously tiresome, brings out Crippen in all.

  BOB HAREFIELD Her charming, mostly absentee husband, longterm lover of Meredith Whalen.

  LITTLE COSMO HAREFIELD Hermione’s fiendish nine-year-old son. Could give lessons to Damien in The Omen.

  EULALIA HARRISON A frumpy feature writer.

  GRANVILLE ‘GRANNY’ HASTINGS English bass, singing the Grand Inquisitor in Don Carlos. Outwardly cosy old pussy-cat.

  LYSANDER HAWKLEY Formerly a man who made husbands jealous, now happily married to Rannaldini’s third wife Kitty. Rupert Campbell-Black’s assistant.

  THE REV. PERCIVAL HILLARY A portly parson, who confines his pastoral visits to drinks time.

  GEORGE HUNGERFORD An extremely successful property developer, chief executive of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra. Live-in lover of Flora Seymour.

  JANICE Rannaldini’s head groom.

  JESSICA Ravishing production secretary, Don Carlos.

  BEATTIE JOHNSON A seductive, totally unprincipled journalist.

  SEXTON KEMP An extremely fly East End film producer. Chief Executive of Liberty Productions, who are making Don Carlos.

  LUCY LATIMER Make-up artist on Don Carlos. Still centre and agony aunt to entire cast and crew.

  CLAUDINE LAUZERTE Actress and Gallic goddess, married to a French government minister.

  DETECTIVE CONSTABLE LIGHTFOOT Eager young constable, traumatized by steamy stint at the 1991 Valhalla orgy.

  ISA LOVELL A brilliant, obsessive jump jockey. A Heathcliff of the gallops.

  JAKE LOVELL His father, ex-world show jumping champion. Now National Hunt trainer.

  TORY LOVELL Isa’s mother and Jake’s wife – loving and super-efficient, a hard act for a daughter-in-law to follow.

  MARIA An ace cook.

  DETECTIVE CONSTABLE DEBBIE MILLER A pulchritudinous policewoman.

  COLIN MILTON Once-great tenor now playing Count Lerma, the Spanish ambassador in Don Carlos. Old sweetie, eminently bullyable.

  ÉTIENNE DE MONTIGNY France’s greatest painter and national hero.

  ALEXANDRE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s pompous eldest son, a judge.

  HORTENSE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s sister – a blue-blooded battle-axe.

  SIMONE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s granddaughter and Alexandre’s daughter. In charge of continuity, Don Carlos.

  TRISTAN DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s youngest son and Rannaldini’s godson. Director, Don Carlos.

  DETECTIVE CONSTABLE KAREN NEEDHAM The belle of the Bill.

  OGBORNE Chief grip, Don Carlos.

  LORD (DECLAN) O’HARA OF PENSCOMBE Recently ennobled television megastar, managing director of Venturer Television and Rupert Campbell-Black’s father-in-law.

  VIKING O’NEILL Golden boy and first horn of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra.

  OSCAR Deceptively indolent director of photography, Don Carlos.

  FRANCO PALMIERI Vast and vastly famous Italian tenor, playing the title role in Don Carlos.

  MIKHAIL PEZCHEROV Lovable but rather base baritone, playing the Marquis of Posa in Don Carlos

  LARA PEZCHEROV Mikhail’s adored wife.

  DETECTIVE CHIEF INSPECTOR GERALD PORTLAND Admin king and limelight hogger, Rutminster CID.

  ROZZY PRINGLE Exquisite-voiced soprano playing Tebaldo the page in Don Carlos. Worn down by overwork and importunate family.

  GLYN PRINGLE Rozzy’s husband – an accomplished drone.

  PUSHY GALORE An ambitious and irritatingly good-looking member of the Don Carlos chorus. Real name Gloria Prescott.

  CECILIA RANNALDINI Italian soprano and world-famous diva. Rannaldini’s feisty second wife.

  SIR ROBERTO RANNALDINI Mega maestro and archfiend, with musical directorships in Berlin, New York and Tokyo. Co-producing Don Carlos.

  LADY (HELEN) RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s fourth wife and Rupert Campbell-Black’s first wife, devoted mother of Marcus and less so of Tabitha. A legendary American beauty.

  WOLFGANG RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s son from his first marriage. Little Hitler exterior hides heart of gold. Former boyfriend of Flora Seymour.

  SALLY Another of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.

  FLORA SEYMOUR Soprano and viola player and former wild child, traumatized by teenage affaire with Rannaldini, now living with George Hungerford.

  ALPHEUS P. SHAW World-famous American bass, singing Philip II in Don Carlos. Splendidlooking, but pompous sexual predator.

  CHERYL SHAW Alpheus’s justifiably jealous wife. Great tree and social climber.

  DETECTIVE CONSTABLE SMITHSON A very PC DC.

  BABY SPINOSISSIMO Dazzling Australian tenor and sexual buccaneer of the modern school.

  CHIEF CONSTABLE SWALLOW A Rutshire god, and friend of Lady Rannaldini and Dame Hermione.

  SYLVESTRE Sound engineer, Don Carlos. Man of few words but countless deeds.

  SYLVIA Glyn Pringle’s housekeeper.

  VALENTIN Charismatic camera operator, Don Carlos. Oscar’s son-in-law.

  LADY GRISELDA WALLACE Wardrobe mistress, Don Carlos. Nervous-breakdown van always on call during production.

  SERENA WESTWOOD Record producer of Don Carlos. Cool, competent beauty.

  JESSIE WESTWOOD Serena’s four-year-old daughter.

  MEREDITH WHALEN Set designer, Don Carlos. Highly expensive interior designer. Known as the Ideal Homo, because he’s so much in demand as spare man at dinner parties.

  THE ANIMALS

  THE ENGINEER Tabitha Campbell-Black’s event horse.

  GERTRUDE Taggie Campbell-Black’s mongrel.

  JAMES Lucy Latimer’s rescued lurcher.

  PEPPY KOALA An Australian wonder horse.

  THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS Rannaldini’s vicious and generally victorious National Hunt hors
e.

  SARASTRO Rannaldini’s cat.

  SHARON Tabitha Campbell-Black’s yellow Labrador, later has walk-on part as the Grand Inquisitor’s guide dog.

  TABLOID Rannaldini’s Rottweiler.

  TREVOR Flora Seymour’s rescued terrier.

  DON CARLOS

  THE INITIAL CAST OF THE FILM

  PHILIP II, KING OF SPAIN Alpheus P. Shaw

  DON CARLOS, INFANTE OF SPAIN ‘Fat Franco’ Palmieri

  ELIZABETH DE VALOIS, PRINCESS OF FRANCE Hermione Harefield

  TEBALDO, ELIZABETH’S PAGE Rozzy Pringle

  PRINCESS EBOLI, A SPANISH LADY-IN-WAITING Chloe Catford

  RODRIGO, MARQUIS OF POSA FRIEND OF DON CARLOS To be filled

  THE GRAND INQUISITOR Granville ‘Granny’ Hastings

  THE GHOST OF THE EMPEROR CHARLES V Giuseppe Cavalli

  COUNT LERMA, THE SPANISH AMBASSADOR TO FRANCE Colin Milton

  OVERTURE 1977

  Many men hated Roberto Rannaldini. Many women, after loving him passionately, hated him even more. To be regarded at twenty-eight as the most exciting conductor since the war had necessitated brutal trampling on the way up. But at least Rannaldini could count on the unqualified love of his ten-year-old godson, Tristan de Montigny. To Tristan, the dashing maestro, with his suave, catlike smile, his deep, caressing voice, and his recklessly fast cars, was the most glamorous person in the world.

  Most importantly Rannaldini had been a friend of Tristan’s mother, who had died when Tristan was a baby, and was the only person prepared to satisfy the boy’s craving for information about her.

  ‘She was so beautiful, so sweet, so proud of you, Tristan, and she love you so much. Her death happen in moment of madness, when she feel she cannot cope, and was unworthy of your father.’

  Tristan’s father, Étienne de Montigny, was France’s most illustrious painter. He was revered for his portraits and landscapes but most famous for his erotic paintings, many of which, Salome’s Ecstasy, The Rape of Lucrece and more recently David and Jonathan, hung in the great galleries of the world, elevating near-pornography to an art form.

  Étienne, outwardly a laughing giant of a man, had spawned a pack of children from three wives and numerous mistresses. Twelve years ago, when he was sixty, he had met Rannaldini, newly arrived in Paris to make his fortune as a conductor. The two had struck up a rapport, and Étienne had taken the handsome, impossibly precocious teenager under his wing. In return Rannaldini had not only milked Étienne’s contacts but also posed for him.