Forever Violet

  I nod, but part of me wants to reach out and grab Legend’s arm as he walks away, wants to plead with him to stay with me.

  Legend has been my security blanket for the last year, and without him, a piece of me feels like it’s missing. But another part of me keeps me frozen where I stand, knowing I need to talk to Jules about what happened. Not just about my attackers, but about how my eyes shifted violet the day of the attack.

  Something was getting stolen from you both.

  He needs to know about it, right?

  “I want to talk to you about what happened … explain myself,” Jules mumbles before I get the chance to speak. “I never should’ve let Slate get that close to my house. We almost had him captured, but as we were tracking him through the forest, we lost his scent. By the time we found it again, I knew he was heading here. I tried to get here in time, but …” He drags his fingers roughly through his hair. “I was on the stairway when he said what I’m assuming set you off. I ran up, but you’d already stabbed him and were kicking him in the face, on the verge of shifting.” He closes his eyes. “I didn’t want you to have to deal with that—with seeing him again. You shouldn’t have had to be that close to him, to hear him say that. I should’ve protected you better. I should’ve protected you better ten years ago.”

  His speech knocks the wind out of me.

  “Stop blaming yourself.” Unsure what else to do, I wrap my arms around him like he did to comfort me. The wolf inside me purrs. So strange. “If I learned anything during my time in the Common Realm, it’s that not everything is in our control. Shit happens sometimes that you can’t change no matter what. It just is. And, as for me having to see Slate, I’m sort of glad I did. I don’t know how this is going to make me sound, but hurting him like that was sort of therapeutic. I do feel a bit guilty, though, for acting so savagely.” The sound of the fire poker cutting through his skin haunts my mind, making me cringe.

  What is wrong with me? How can I be so vicious?

  “That was your wolf.” He nuzzles his face in my hair. “I don’t want you to be afraid of our kind, but you need to know that, when we shift, we sometimes are savage. We don’t normally go around killing or anything like that. Well, except for the incident with Shade and the bunnies. We give in to our animal instincts, and sometimes act animalistic.”

  “I felt animalistic,” I confess. “Still sort of do … Truthfully, I haven’t felt normal since I drank that silver drink.”

  “It’ll get better the longer you’re here.” He kisses the top of my head.

  My wolf sighs. Yeah, she’s definitely a weirdo.

  “I hope so.”

  “I know so.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Of course. I know everything.”

  I giggle as something occurs to me. “We’ve said that to each other before.”

  He curls his fingers around my shoulders and directs me back, only to look me in the eye. “You remember?”

  I half-shrug. “Not the memory, but the words. It kind of happened a couple of times. I really wish I could actually see the memories.”

  His intent stare makes me self-conscious.

  “Tomorrow, after training, I’d like to take you to a witch who lives here and see if she knows why you can’t remember things. I’ll probably have to bargain with her, but with a little bribery, I’m sure she’ll help us.”

  “Why do you have to bribe her?” The answer comes to me all on my own. “Wait. Is she the witch your father stole?”

  He gives a hard nod. “She is. She’s been trapped here ever since, bound by a binding spell that my father tricked her into doing. Until he releases her, she can’t return to her realm. I’m not sure why he keeps her trapped in our kingdom, but as far as I can tell, he has no plans of letting her go anytime soon.”

  “You think she’ll help us, then? Since you’re the king’s son?”

  “With the right amount of bribery, she will. Plus, she knows I hate my father. And that, if I could free her, I would.”

  “Still, why would he trap a witch here and bind her to him? What does he get out of it?”

  “She has to cast any spell he demands.”

  “Oh.” My gaze wanders to the window where vines cover the fields just outside. “You don’t think …” I zip my lips, not wanting to cross a line.

  “I’ve thought about it,” he mutters, staring out the window, as well. “But Ava, the witch, wasn’t bound here until after the vines began to plague our lands. She also assured me that a spell isn’t what caused them to grow to begin with. Although, my father could’ve easily bound her to secrecy.”

  “So, you’re saying you think your father might’ve had something to do with the vines?”

  “It’s hard to say for sure. My father is a violent, cruel werewolf, who thrives off power and instilling fear in others, so I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that.” He stares down at his blood-stained hands. “After tonight, I think I might be more like him than I thought.”

  I suddenly comprehend why he feels guilty about his violent act and why everyone has said he doesn’t have the killer instinct. His father beat him, forced him to don those silver rings. His father is a violent man. He hates his father. He doesn’t want to be like his father.

  “I don’t even feel guilty about hurting him. Only that you saw it.” He bares the truth quietly. “What kind of a wolf does that make me?”

  The answer is a mystery to me. Or is it? I’m uncertain whether I know Jules or not. Sometimes I feel like I do. My wolf sure as hell thinks she does. Seriously, I let her loose one time and she’s already trying to convince me to think like her.

  I really need to ask Jules if it’s normal to be so connected to the wolf inside me.

  “You’re not like your father.” I flatten my palms on his chest, feeling his heart thrash. “You slashed that wolf for me because he helped take something away from us. He deserved to have his face cut up for it, and deserves whatever awaits him tomorrow when Shade goes out to that shed.”

  His brows knit. “What do you mean, he took something from us?”

  I retract a palm from his chest to massage my star-marked temple. “Legend told me something earlier tonight before Slate showed up. It was something I didn’t know about that happened the day I was attacked.”

  “Okay …?” He waits patiently for me to go on.

  It takes me a minute to gather the strength to spill the words between us.

  “This is really hard to say,” I admit. “I mean, for ten years of my life, I thought I was completely ordinary, but I never wanted to be, never wanted to be human. I hated living in foster homes. I hated high school. I hated how people looked at me.” A faltering exhale fumbles from my lips. “Then, a year ago, werewolves attacked me, and I was grateful that I wasn’t a paranormal. I was so convinced that every single one of them—besides Legend—was a monster. Particularly wolves.”

  “Lake, I’m so sorry you had to go through—”

  I press my finger to his lips, shushing him. “Just let me get this out, okay? And then you can say whatever you need to say.” When he nods, I let my finger fall from his lips. “When I smelled moonlight that night in the club when I first met you, I freaked out. I wanted to run, and eventually I did. Sometimes, I still feel like I want to. Like today, when I felt that undiluted rage toward Slate. I didn’t think I was capable of such violence, but apparently, I am.” I frown. “But I’m not sure that it was violence, you know. I think I was just reacting to the pain, something I’ve never done before. And apparently, my wolf needed to react, too, which really sucked for Slate because I’m pretty sure she was the driving force between the fire poker stabbing. The kicks to the face were mostly me.

  “But what I think I realized is that, wolf or not, I would’ve wanted to hurt Slate. Now, if I were just a human, I probably would’ve just gotten myself killed. But unfortunately for Slate, I’m a werewolf, just like he’s a werewolf, just like you are and Shade and Rune and Libert
y. And the four of you aren’t so bad. Slate’s the bad one. Just like some humans aren’t good and some are. I’m sure the same goes for vampires and every other creature out there.”

  “So, you’re saying not all werewolves are evil?” He seems a tad lost.

  I nod. “And that I shouldn’t be afraid of werewolves anymore. That there are good and bad out there everywhere, and I should be grateful that I have the strength that will eventually help me protect myself.”

  “You will be able to do that sooner rather than later.” His hand molds around mine. “Shade was right. We doubted your skills too much. There’s still a lot of fighter left in you.”

  Pride swells my chest. “Thanks for saying that, but I’m still not done with my speech just yet.”

  He sucks a lip ring between his teeth, biting back a grin. “Please do continue with your speech, then.”

  “Thanks. I’m glad I have your permission.” I roll my eyes, but then bounce with jitteriness as I go over what I need to tell him. “Honestly, my speech was more directed at me, to give myself the confidence and assurance for what I need to tell you about what Slate took away from us.” And because I’m procrastinating.

  Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like I’m about to admit I like him. I’ve never told a guy that before, and Jules isn’t even a normal guy. He’s a werewolf prince who will one day be king of the Violet Mountain pack!

  Just rip off the damn Band-aid, Lake! You just stabbed your attacker in the leg, for wolf’s sake. This should be a piece of yummy cake.

  “The thing is … Legend told me that, right before he jumped down and saved me that day, my eyes … briefly turned … violet.”

  His nostrils flare as he inhales sharply. “You could feel the connection?”

  I shrug unsteadily. “I don’t know. Maybe deep down underneath the pain I could. Legend assured me, though, that my eyes didn’t go violet for Slate or his friend. That if it did, I’d know.”

  “Have you ever …?” His lips part then close. Part then close. “Have you ever felt a spark with any other werewolf?”

  “No.” I pause, debating whether I dare tell him the entire truth about the first time I saw him. Will it mean anything? Does it mean anything to me? “The first and only time I felt something other than hatred for a werewolf was when we first made eye contact. I didn’t feel like crazy lust or anything, but I wanted to hug away your sorrow. You looked so sad and heartbroken.”

  “That’s how I’ve looked for the last decade, since I lost you.” His hoarse voice cracks with a flurry of emotions. “You looked so much like Elora, but I couldn’t smell her scent, and I thought I was being punished for letting her—you—die. That the wolf gods were punishing me by sending an Elora look-alike to torment me.” Tears well in his eyes.

  I splay my fingers across his cheek, desperately wanting to comfort him. “You can’t beat yourself up over what happened to me.”

  He presses his nose against my palm. “Whether I can blame myself or not is beside the point. I’m going to spend forever making sure you get that decade of your life back.”

  Forever?

  “Do you think …? Why do you think my eyes went violet that day?”

  “I’m not positive yet, but I guess we’ll find out in time.” He caresses his lips along my palm then up my arm to my shoulder. When he reaches the crook of my neck, he nuzzles against my pulse and groans. “I want to kiss you so fucking badly right now,” he murmurs, tracing his fingers along the speck of flesh between my shirt and the waistband of my shorts.

  My heart beats wildly in my chest, intoxicating fear and want combusting through me.

  “Then, why don’t you?” I ask, or more like purr.

  The wolf inside me purrs, too.

  He lets out a husky chuckle. “Because you just purred, that’s why.”

  I lean closer to him and shut my eyes, breathing in his violet moonlight scent. “Why is that so bad?”

  “Because it means your wolf is still partly controlling you. And considering the last time we kissed and you stopped it, I don’t think I should be kissing you until we’re both positive you want it.” He traces a gentle path along my scarred waist. The shiver that courses through me is both thrilling and petrifying. “Besides, I want to give you time to heal. Emotional scars, they take time. Sometimes more than physical wounds.”

  I wonder if it’s possible to actually fall in love with someone based upon a few beautifully broken words.

  “Okay.” I grip the front of my shirt as my wolf starts putting up a fuss. “What do we do now, then?”

  “Now we go to sleep.” With a gentle suck on my neck, he lifts his head. The violet glow of his eyes doesn’t really throw me off like it used to. “Then tomorrow, we’ll train and go see Ava.”

  I nod, but the wolf inside me yaps, demanding one more question be asked. “When will I learn to shift?”

  His eyes spark in surprise. “You want to learn?”

  “I think so. I mean, I can feel her inside me, and she’s demanding I learn … Is that crazy?”

  He shakes his head. “It’s perfectly normal to be so connected to your wolf after your first shift.”

  “But I didn’t shift.”

  “You almost did.”

  “So, you think I should completely shift now?”

  “Only if you want to. I think it’d be wise if you did, or else she’ll probably keep hounding you.”

  “You said it would be painful.” I cringe, recalling how my bones started to snap during my almost shift.

  “I said it could be painful.” His grin is all sorts of impishness. “But that I could take away the pain, if you want me to.”

  I literally have no clue how he could take my pain away, but I find myself blushing at a few very vivid ideas.

  He strokes my cheek. “Legend is right. It is fun embarrassing you.”

  I stick out my tongue, and he laughs.

  “What? You’re the one who blushed,” he says innocently. “I didn’t do anything but say I could take the pain away. You must have a dirty mind or something.”

  I roll my tongue in my mouth. “Whatever, wolf boy. I’m going to bed.” I turn for the door, but then I note the trail of dried blood on the door and stop.

  After I was attacked, Legend usually stayed over at my house. I hated being alone. Hated the nightmares. The fear. And while I want to be strong, I don’t want to be alone now, either. I could always go wake up Legend, but Jules is here, and he has the ability to pull me into sleepy cloud dreams inside of haunting, bloody nightmares.

  I stare at the door, knowing if I look at him, I’ll lose my nerve. “Jules?”

  “Yeah.” He’s closer than I thought.

  “Can I …?” I wet my chapped lips with my tongue as I turn around. “Can I sleep in here with you, and can you try to do that little dream thing with me so I won’t have nightmares?”

  He nods with zero hesitancy, almost appearing relieved. “Of course. I need to take a shower first, but you can get into my bed now if you want.”

  “Okay.” My stomach coils with nerves as I climb onto his bed and pull the covers over me.

  He grabs some clothes out of the closet. “Are you hungry?”

  I fluff the pillow. “I’m starving, actually.”

  Smiling, he snaps his fingers. “Food will be here soon. Just open the door when you hear a knock.” He disappears into the bathroom, leaving the door cracked.

  As the shower turns on, images of him shirtless race through my mind, and my wolf howls in delight.

  What a little pervert!

  I do my best to block out the dirty mental picture and lay in bed until a knock sounds on the door.

  Throwing the covers off me, I get up and answer it. No one is out in the hallway, but a platter of fruits, vegetables, crackers, and steak is on the floor.

  What the shit? Does he have little elves or something that make him food?

  I guess I’ll have to ask Jules about it.

  Collect
ing the tray, I kick the door shut then climb back into bed. After stuffing my belly full of yummy food, I lie down and shut my eyes.

  I figure between the adrenaline lashing through my body and the fact that I slept for nearly three days straight, that I’d stay awake for quite a while. But I fall asleep before Jules even makes it out of the shower.

  Chapter 21

  “So, what did you have in mind?” Jules asks as he joins me in my dreams.

  We’re standing in the field that encompasses the kingdom, but glimmering violets take the place of the vines. The stars and the moon paint the night sky with shimmering pulses of light.

  “I’m not sure yet.” I hike through the field with my hands out to the side, the petals of the flowers melting into my touch. “Is this what your kingdom looked like before the vines took over the land?”

  “It is. It used to be a beautiful place, wasn’t it?” He walks beside me, observing the petals whispering against my fingertips. “It’s your kingdom, too, you know. Not just mine.”

  “It’s more yours than mine. I mean, you’ve lived here longer, and you’re the prince.”

  “And you’re the princess.”

  “But not the princess.”

  “We’ll see.” His eyes mimic violets. “The land seems to like you.”

  The violets are practically stretching to greet my fingertips. “Don’t they always do that?”

  When he extends his hand toward the ground, the flowers only sway in the breeze.

  I run my finger along a velvet soft petal and the flower flitters. “Why is it doing that?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Maybe it’s just because we’re in a dream.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Doubt weighs in his tone. “We can find out more about it when we visit Ava tomorrow. She’s a naturist witch. She might have knowledge about something like this.”

  “Doesn’t it seem strangely suspicious that she is? I mean, she’s trapped here, she’s into nature, and suddenly your land is taken over by poisonous vines.”

  “There’s a ton of naturist witches. And like I said, Ava wasn’t here when the vines took over.”