The Year I Became Isabella Anders

  I don't care what Kai says. I'm not giving up on my Kyler dream just yet. I want to see where it goes. If it's an epic fail, then at least I'll know, and then I can finally move on.

  I'VE SEEN A ton of movies that featured high school parties. I figured the rowdy, loud music and tons of people crammed into a house were Hollywood's played-up versions, but when I catch sight of the single-story home the party is taking place at, I start to think the movies nailed it dead on.

  The small living room is jam-packed with a sweaty, unruly, stupidly silly drunk people. Music is booming and vibrates the floors. The smell of sweat, beer, and cigarette smoke laces the air, and I'm pretty sure I just stepped in a puddle that I think might be urine.

  "Ew!" I shiver as I stare down at the yellow puddle on the linoleum floor.

  I'm distracted just long enough by the grossness that when I look up, I've lost Kai in the crowd. I stand on my tiptoes, panicking as my gaze surfs the crowd. There's just too many people to tell who's who.

  "I'm never going to find him." Those old feelings of ridicule sneak up on me, and I hug my arms around myself, noting every glance in my direction.

  They have to be staring at me. And you want to know why, Isabella? Because they know you don't belong here.

  "Hey, I know you, right?" Bradon, Kai's friend, and the guy throwing this shindig, stumbles through the crowd and stops in front of me. He has overly long hair, his eyes are red, and his clothes smell like smoke with a kick. "You're that chick from my school."

  I want to point out there's a lot of chicks who go to our school, but I'm guessing I'll probably just confuse him. "Yeah, sure."

  "You know Kai, right?" He wags a finger at me. "You're that girl who was by his locker."

  Great. I went from being That Chick at School to being That Girl by Kai's Locker.

  I stick out my hand to properly introduce myself, so he'll stop giving me lame nicknames. "I'm Isa."

  He eyeballs my hand then he wraps his fingers around mine, brings them to his lips, places a kiss on my skin, and then licks me like a dog.

  I screech, loud enough to make a scene, and people glance our way. Apparently, drunk people have a short attention span though, because five seconds later, they're all doing their own thing again.

  "Sorry, I couldn't help it." He laughs at me as I wipe my hand on the side of my skirt. "I've never had a girl try to shake my hand before."

  "If it happens again, you should probably just shake it back," I offer him some advice.

  "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." He noticeably checks me out before peering around the crowd. "So did Kai come with you, or what?"

  I inch forward as a guy staggers past me and jabs his elbow into my back. "Yeah, he did. I don't know where he is, though. I lost him the second I walked in here."

  "Yeah, that happens a lot." He looks back at me. "How about I help you find him?"

  I nod, my anxiety going down a drop or two. "That sounds great. Thank you."

  "No problem." He nods for me to follow him as he pushes his way through the crowd. "We can get you a brownie from the kitchen too." He throws me a toothy smile from over his shoulder. "I make killer fudge brownies. They're actually pretty famous."

  "I bet they are," I remark, remembering Kai's warning to stay away from the baked goods. "But I actually don't like brownies that much." Huh. Never thought that sentence would ever come out of my mouth.

  "That's because you haven't ever tasted mine." He raises his voice as an upbeat song blasts through the speakers and everyone gets all riled up. "One bite will change your mind."

  As I get jostled all over the place by the crowd, I thank the heavens that I'm wearing boots; otherwise, I'd be knocked flat on my ass by now. Heels were never my thing, something I learned every time I tried to wear them out to a club. I'd either trip, fall down completely, or my feet would end up hurting so badly that I'd have to sucker Indigo into swapping shoes. The only ones I can tolerate are platforms, but after wearing them to school last week, I've decide they might be as demonic as stilettos.

  I struggle to maintain my balance, and Bradon snags my arm and tugs me out of the room, only letting me go when we make it safely to the kitchen. There are a few people hanging around a keg, but other than that, the room's pretty empty.

  "Brownie time," Bradon announces as he lifts a paper towel off a plate. Underneath it are the most gooey and delicious brownies I've ever seen, and my mouth starts to salivate. Bradon picks up the plate and moves it toward me. "Try one. I promise you won't regret it."

  I literally have to stab my nails into my palms just to stop myself from snatching one and gobbling it up. "I can't."

  "Why not?"

  "Well, because . . . they have pot in them, right?"

  He chuckles at me. "You're adorable. I can see why Kai likes you."

  Before I can even wrap my head around what he said, an arm drops down on my shoulders.

  "There you are," Kai says casually, but I can feel the tension in his arm muscles. "I look away for like a second and you disappear on me. What happened?"

  "I stepped in piss and got distracted," I explain, glancing down at my boot. "Or at least I think it was piss."

  Bradon puts a finger to his lip, seeming way too fixated on me. "Seriously adorable."

  Kai gives me a questioning look. "How did you end up with Bradon?"

  I lean in, keeping my voice low. "He found me in the crowd, licked my hand when I tried to introduce myself, then brought me in here, offered me a brownie, and called me adorable when I asked him if there was pot in it. I don't know why. I haven't done anything that could remotely constitute being called adorable."

  Kai presses his lips together as he angles his head so he can look me in the eye. "You asked him if his brownies had pot in it?" he asks, struggling not to laugh.

  "Why is that so amusing?" I feel like the butt of a joke I don't get. "You told me not to eat them, because they have pot in them, right? I just wanted to make sure."

  Kai glances at Bradon, who's still staring at me like I've sprouted a unicorn horn out of my forehead.

  "Can I borrow her for the night?" Bradon asks Kai, with his bloodshot eyes drinking in my every move.

  "I'm not on loan," I quip then shrug. "Sorry."

  Kai chokes on a laugh while Bradon blinks at me, confounded.

  "Okay, how about we go get you something to drink," Kai says to me then steers me across the kitchen and away from Bradon.

  Once we reach the counter lined with all sorts of different shaped alcohol bottles, he lifts his arm from my shoulders. "So, what's your drink?" He holds up his hands. "No, wait a minute. Let me guess. A wine cooler."

  "I've never had a wine cooler before," I admit.

  He reaches for a bottle filled with red liquid that has tiny little flakes at the bottom, picks it up, pulls a face, and then sets it down. "Then what did you drink while you were overseas?"

  "Lots of stuff. Whenever we'd do shots, though, Indigo would always make us do vodka." I shudder, remembering the scorching burn.

  Kai muses over something then moves for the fridge. When he returns, he has a beer in his hand. "How about a beer? I don't think it'll make you pull that face you just made when you mentioned vodka."

  I gratefully take the beer and twist the cap off while Kai grabs a plastic cup and fixes himself a drink using soda and whiskey.

  "Now what do we do?" I ask as he screws the cap back on the whiskey.

  "Whatever you want." He downs a large swallow from his cup.

  I smile artfully at him. "Okay, well if that's the case then I want to chase a unicorn, run on a rainbow, and swim in a lake made of gold."

  He rolls his eyes at me, but a smile plays at the corners of his lips. "We can do whatever you want within the realm of reality."

  "Reality's no fun, though." I pout.

  "That's not true," he says, his gaze drifting across the room. "I bet you've had fun in reality before."

  "Yeah, I guess." I sip my beer, r
emembering the time I probably had the most fun. "I did have a lot of fun on my trip."

  "Okay, that's a starting point." He swishes around his cup. "What did you do on the trip that was so fun?"

  I shrug. "I don't know. I saw a ton of cool stuff and did a crap load of crazy things. You saw the pics on my blog, right?"

  "I saw the pics," he says. "But I want to know about these so-called crazy things you did. Because a lot of those photos were of places. Not you."

  "We did a lot of stuff, but I guess one of my favorite things was when we went clubbing."

  His brows shoot up. "You went clubbing?"

  "You don't have to sound so shocked about it." I chug down half my beer as my social anxiety jumps onstage and takes me over like a puppet. I know it's insane, but it feels like his surprise screams, 'You don't belong here!'

  "I'm sorry," he tells me sincerely. "You just threw me off. I mean, the Isa I knew didn't dance."

  "Well, she can dance now." I straighten my shoulders as the beer swims through my veins. "And let me tell you, she's awesome."

  "Is that so?" he remarks, rubbing his jawline.

  I cringe, seeing where he's heading with this. "Yeah, but only when I'm in clubs."

  He nods his head at the living room where people are packed together like sardines, grinding together like they've been drinking liquid hormones. "This place is kind of club-ish."

  "Not really." I fight back the panic strangling my throat. "Kai, please don't make me dance in front of all these people. I know some of them."

  "It'll be fine. I'll even dance with you." He guzzles down a huge mouthful of his drink, tosses the cup into the garbage, threads his fingers through mine, and then hauls me toward the living room.

  Before we dive head-on into the dancing orgy, Kai lets go of me and walks over to the stereo system in the corner of the room. Bradon is sitting near it, sipping on a drink. When Kai approaches him and says something, Bradon makes a face and promptly shakes his head.

  "No way!" Bradon shouts, standing to his feet and placing himself in front of the stereo. "That'll never happen, dude."

  "Oh, come on!" Kai begs, reaching for the stereo. "Just let me do it."

  Bradon swats his hand away. "You know I don't take request like that unless it's from a hot chick."

  Kai throws a quick glance at me then leans in and says something to Bradon. I don't know what he's saying, but I have a feeling he might be using me to get his song request past Bradon.

  Bradon frowns but reclines back over the table and presses a few buttons before he sits up. The room grows quiet and people immediately start complaining.

  "Turn the fucking music on!" A lanky guy not too far away from me hollers.

  "Bradon, quit begin a dick!" a girl wearing a flowing floral dress shouts, red-faced and pissed as hell.

  "You owe me, dude," Bradon grumbles as Kai struts back toward me.

  He gives him a thumbs up without turning around, walking right for me. "All right, it's dancing time," he says, rubbing his hands together.

  "What'd you get him to turn on?" I ask, but then a song clicks on and I have my answer. I giggle. "You picked a Katy Perry song?"

  "What? She rocks!" he replies, owning his song choice. He snatches hold of my hand and drags me through the people who've started dancing again. "Now come on. You owe me a dance."

  "How do you figure I owe you a dance?" I stumble after him as he shoves his way to the center of the room.

  He elbows people out of the way to clear some space then his fingertips press down on my wrist and he spins me around so my back is aligned with his chest. "Because you never gave me the wand you promised me."

  I start to laugh, then stop myself. "You never gave me a chance to give you the wand. Three days after I promised you I'd make you one, you decided you were too cool to walk home with me anymore."

  "I came to your house after that happened," he says. "You could've given it to me then."

  I tip my chin up to look at him. "When did you come to my house?"

  "After I told my friend you were stalking me." Remorse fills his eyes. "I wanted to say sorry. I know it wouldn't have meant much, since I wasn't planning on telling people the truth, but I felt bad."

  "Why didn't I know that you stopped by my house?"

  "Probably because Hannah answered the door and I chickened out."

  The mention of Hannah painfully reminds me of the birth certificate and how she put it on my bed for me to find. If she's trying to get rid of me then that's probably the tip of the iceberg. Who knows what other kinds of mean games are waiting for me at home?

  "Stop overthinking and dance." He grinds his hips against my backside and I laugh, finding it funnier than I probably should.

  But this is Kai, not some random stranger at a club who Indigo roped into dancing with me. Kai, who used to walk home with me, who secretly shared my love for magic, superheroes, and zombies. Who teases me constantly and who pisses me off sometimes.

  He seems pretty adamant about dancing with me, though, upping his moves as he grips my hips and pulls me closer.

  "Okay, I guess we're doing this then." I down the rest of my beer, knowing I'm going to need it, then set the empty beer bottle down on the floor.

  Giving one final panicked glance at the people around me, I sway my hips and rock to the beat of the music. I don't move slowly either. That's not my style. I may have social anxiety, but give me a drink and some loud music, and I'll go wild. I'm talking freak out, lose your mind, whip it, shake your groove thang kind of dancing. I blame it on Indigo and the first time we went out clubbing.

  Kai's hand slides around to my stomach, his fingers dipping under the hem of my shirt. When his knuckles graze my bare skin right above my hipbone, I have a hard time focusing. And breathing. Suddenly, I no longer think dancing with him is that funny. I find it. . . . well, sexy.

  His fingers trace circles on my skin as he grinds his hips against me. I fight to keep moving the way I was before all the touching started, but I keep spacing out and forgetting how to function.

  His breath caresses my ear as he chuckles. "You seem tense. I thought you said you could dance."

  He's so doing this on purpose. To distract me.

  "Yep, I sure can," I say, and then really start dancing, ignoring everything around me like I did when I was overseas.

  I lift my arms, sway my hips, and rock out, matching the beat of the song. Kai lines his body up with mine and we move together perfectly. Song after song, we keep going, practically having sex with our clothes on. I'd be embarrassed--and maybe I will be, come morning--but right now, I'm having fun.

  I'm not sure how long we dance or how long it would've gone on, but then Kai ruins the moment by licking the side of my neck.

  I squeal, whirling toward him while I wipe his slobber off my neck.

  He gives me an innocent look. "What? That's how I thought all the cool kids were greeting each other tonight."

  I keep my hand cupped over the side of my neck for protection. "First of all, you weren't trying to greet me. And second of all, it creeped the hell out of me when Bradon licked me."

  His chest shakes as he fights not to laugh at me. "I don't think I'm as creepy as Bradon."

  "You know what? You're right." Which means I can pay him back. I let my arm fall to the side, lean forward, and lick his neck like a dog.

  He jumps back, startled, and then busts up laughing, hunching over as he grasps his side. Unable to help myself, I join in with him.

  After the laughter dies down, we mutually agree not to lick each other anymore and start dancing again. By the time we stop to get some water, we're sweaty, hot, and out of breath. We wander back to the kitchen and Kai gets a bottle of water from the fridge, taking a sip before handing it to me. I down most of the water in just a few gulps then hand the bottle back to him.

  "Now you've got me curious," Kai says after he finishes the rest of the water.

  "Over what?" I ask, wiping my damp foreh
ead with my hand.

  "Who taught you how to dance like that?"

  "That awesomeness can't be taught. It's just pure talent."

  Chuckling, he fixes himself another drink, this time mostly whiskey and a splash of soda. "All right, you own your awesomeness."

  I smile as he hands me a beer. I open the bottle then trail after him as he glides the sliding glass door open and ducks outside onto the back patio. The crisp night air feels great on my sweaty skin as I step outside. I figure the reason why Kai came out here was to get some fresh air, but he continues down the steps and heads toward a pool house in the far back corner of the yard.

  Unsure if he wants me to follow him, I lollygag on the patio, keeping my distance from a couple of guys lounging in the lawn chairs, smoking and laughing about something.

  "You coming? Or are you just going to stand there?" Kai hollers when he stops in front of the pool house door, the porch light hitting his face.

  Relieved he isn't making me stand there by myself, I hurry down the stairs and across the grass to him, gulping down my beer.

  "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to follow you or not," I say, picking at the label on the beer bottle.

  "Silly girl, of course I wanted you to follow me," he replies, his speech starting to slur.

  I laugh at him. "You're so drunk."

  "No way," he insists, stumbling and bumping his elbow on the door. He blinks as he looks inside his cup. "Okay, maybe just a little." He sets his cup down on a rusty patio table, raises his hand, and taps his knuckles against the door.

  "What are we doing out here?" I put the mouth of the bottle to my lips and take another drink.

  A drunkenly droopy grin spreads across his face that makes him so adorably cute it's ridiculous. "This is my connection." He pats the door like it's his best friend.

  I lower the bottle from my mouth. "Connection?"

  He pats the back pocket of his jeans where my birth certificate is tucked away. "This is where my guy is."

  I stare at the rotting wooden door. "Your guy lives in Bradon's pool house?"

  "No, he just chills here a lot."

  "Um, okay."

  "It's not as sketchy as it sounds."

  "Good. Because it sounds pretty damn sketchy."