Pain & Paranoia



  Pain & Paranoia

  Jeff Sherwood

  Copyright 2012 by Jeff Sherwood

  SmashWords Edition

  The itching in his leg consumed Jason’s attention as he sat in his bland, beige cubicle. He scratched at his shin with the heel of his shoe, while trying to keep a smooth rhythm of clacking on his keyboard. He answered his phone without stopping the rubbing at the front of his shin, just above his ankle. The digging of his shoe heel caused an aching and a bruise throughout his shin, but only stopped the itching momentarily.

  Jason could barely concentrate on his phone conversation. Once he hung up the phone he smacked his hands on the keyboard and pushed away from his desk. Yanking up his slack leg, he raked the front of his leg with his fingernails. The tingling sensation of the itch was gone, but he continued to dig his fingernails into the skin. The scratching felt so good. The front of his leg turned bright red.

  “Jason, do you have the file on … Will Marco … finished?”

  Deep in his scratching, he never noticed Tiffany appear over the top of his cubicle wall. Jason peered up at her as if he had just been caught in a gruesome deed. His hair had fallen across his reddened face. His eyes were wide and he was panting.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Tiffany asked, annoyed by Jason’s antics.

  Jason sat up and brushed his hair back with his hands. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and let out it out slowly. He looked up at Tiffany, “I’m sorry. I had this massive itch on my shin and I couldn’t get rid of it.” He paused, “You were asking for a file?”

  “Stop being a freak.” she stared at him in mock horror. “The people who come in here are bad enough.”

  “The people who come in here have problems and we need to help them.”

  “I know, but you don’t need to start acting like them.” Tiffany walked around the cubicle wall and sat down in a chair across the desk from Jason. “I’m looking for the file on Will Marco.”

  “I don’t have his file. The last I saw it, Jennifer was processing his information for food assistance.”

  “Crap!” Tiffany shot a quick glance around the opening of Jason’s cubicle. She then turned sharply on Jason, leaning across his desk. “I need you to get him set up for school. His classes start next week.”

  “As soon as Jennifer is done with his…OOWW!” Jason jumped back. His chair slammed into the filing cabinet, shaking the plant and toppling the Batman figure. Jason looked down at the floor. He jumped again and pulled his feet up onto his chair. Pointing at the floor, “I just saw a rat! I think it bit me!”

  Tiffany jumped up on the chair in a crouching position on the balls of her feet and grasped the front of the desk. “Are you serious?! Damn it, I can’t work in these conditions!”

  A woman in her late forties charged into the cubicle and slammed her hands flat on the desk. “What’s wrong with you two?” She growled in a low voice. She turned to Tiffany and grabbed her pant leg. “Get down from there!” She demanded.

  Tiffany peered around the office. Co-workers and clients alike were peeking over cubicle walls. She did not know what was worse, the rat or the questioning stares. Tiffany compromised and sat down on the chair, with her legs pulled tightly into her chest.

  “I’m sorry Mara,” said Jason. “Something bit me. When I looked, I saw it scurry under my desk. I thought it was a rat. We both panicked.”

  Mara nodded at Jason’s leg, “Let me see it.”

  Jason pulled up his pant leg to reveal a dark red area. Tiny holes oozed blood. The four corners of the bite mark had bigger holes than the rest. Jason felt the wound pulsate.

  “Wow!” Exclaimed Tiffany, “That looks bad.”

  “Damn!” Mara bent down to look under the desk. “Do you see anything over there?”

  Jason got down on all four and peer under his desk and across the floors into the other cubicles. “I see a lot of dust, chords, feet, and half eaten snacks, but no mice.” As he climbed back into his chair, sharp pain radiated through his leg.

  Mara stood up as well. “I guess we’ll have to get the exterminators in here again.” Mara sighed and crossed her arms. “In the meantime, Tiffany would you please go replace Stan at the front desk. I’ll have him set some traps.” Mara looked down at Jason, who still looked panicked. “Jason, go get your leg checked and go home.”

  “But I have some people I need to get finished up, before their classes start next week. Can I just come back after I see the doctor?”

  “Jason, this is a state run government agency.” Mara said wearily, “The place is not going to blow up if you miss an afternoon of work. Tell Debbie what you’re working on before you leave.”

  Jason tried to object, but Mara stopped him with an up-lifted hand. “Besides, these people think we’re crap. It would destroy their world if we actually proved them wrong.” Mara chuckled under her breath, “Now get out of here.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  A middle aged doctor with thinning hair swung around the examination table on his chair and held up his tablet. “I really don’t think you were bitten by a rat. Here’s a picture of your bite.” The doctor tapped and dragged his finger across a picture of Jason’s leg and it zoomed in. “The bite you have is semi-round and then there are these four larger punctures that are more like fangs.” The doctor swiped his finger across the screen and a drawing slid into view. “This is a drawing of a rat bite I got off the Internet. A rat has four teeth that it bites with. The upper two are close together and the lower two are also close together, but set back. A rat won’t make the wound you have.”

  “OK, so what did bite me?” asked Jason, staring at the tablet.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe a small cat or kitten. What I do know is the treatment’s the same. I’m giving you a wide spectrum antibiotic. Your first dose will be a shot, to get the antibiotic heavy into your system. Your records show you are up to date on your tetanus, so we don’t need to worry about that. I’m also going to take a tissue sample to see if there are any bacteria or anything else that we need to worry about.”

  Jason nodded. His concern piqued.

  “I’ll have the nurse dress it and give you some supplies to keep it clean and wrapped. I’ll want to see you back in a week.”

  “What about the pain?”

  “Some ibuprofen will take care of it.”

  A woman dressed in flower pattern scrubs entered with a tray and various instruments.

  The doctor turned to the nurse, “Ah, good. Let’s get that sample.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  Jason limped into his apartment. Pausing by the front door, he emptied his pockets onto the table. He then plopped down on the couch and lifted his injured leg up next to him. He snatched the remote off the coffee table and turned on the television to some cartoons.

  Jason leaned back and took stock of his surroundings, which made him feel good. Jason had worked hard to get a nice apartment and to fill it with nice furnishings. He did not have top of the line furniture, but it all looked good and was just as well built. Most of his pride laid in his collection of superhero statues, toys, and comic books. Since he was a little boy he enjoyed reading about all his favorite heroes and buying their toys. He had always been careful with his collection. He loved to play with the toys, but always made sure they stayed in perfect condition.

  Jason was proud of the good decisions he made when he was hired at the Department of Health and Welfare. He could have run right out with his first paychecks and bought a bunch of stuff and run up his credit, but he saved his money, until he could pay for the really nice things he truly wanted. He now had a nice place to call home and he was surrounded by stuff that made him feel comfortable and safe.

  He thought about the eight years
he had been with the department. He proved himself to be reliable and needed, when others were being laid off because of cut backs. The clients have yelled and threatened, but he just tried to understand that they were scared. His co-workers have been jerks at times, but he gave them breaks because they were just overwhelmed, plus he had had his moments of being a jerk as well. Jason faded away as he thought how hard he has worked and how it has paid off for him.

  Jason barely acknowledged the existence of the couch and television, when he started sputtering and coughing. His stomach felt like it had been caved in and he could not breathe. Jason rolled over on his back. He coughed hard and dragged air deep into his lungs. His breathing was ragged.

  Jason’s stomach cramped. He pulled his dress shirt out and up. Looking down the length of his body, a dark red spot developed just below his ribs. He touched it. His stomach twitched reflexively.

  A shadow darted across the top of the couch. Jason looked up over his left shoulder. He froze at the sight of a seven inch green creature, standing on the arm of his couch. It had a large belly and bald head. Fangs poked out of the top and bottom of its mouth. It wore ratted doll pants that were tight and short. The creature was holding a large wooden war hammer hefted onto its shoulder.

  The green creature took a deep breath, puffed out its chest and raised the war hammer like a golf club and yelled, “FORE!”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  “Jason!”

  Jason did not register the voice calling his name. He did feel the hardness of the floor pressed against the side of his face and chest. A sharp pain split the side of his head in half.

  “Jason! Can you hear me?” The voice was female and it was shaking him.

  “If you keep shaking me, my head is going to fall apart.”

  “Can you get up?” Jason finally recognized the voice as his girlfriend, Dana.

  “I don’t know. Will my head fall off if I move?” Jason pushed up to get his knees under him.

  Dana grabbed Jason under his shoulder and helped him slowly onto the couch. She dropped her bag on the floor and gingerly touched the side of his head. “The side of your head is covered in blood. You must’ve hit the edge of your coffee table pretty good.”

  “Garbage can, please.”

  “Huh?”

  “Going to hurl.” Jason strained to hold his head and stomach.

  Dana dashed for the kitchen and quickly returned with the trash can. Knocking the top off the can, she tucked it under Jason. He lurched forward into the trash can, releasing guttural sounds and stomach churning smells.

  Jason pulled himself up to see Dana standing over him with a towel and a glass of water. “I must love you, Jason. Why else would I stand here watching you barf?”

  “You have no life and therefore nothing better to do.” He retorted.

  Dana tossed the towel in Jason’s face and plopped the glass on the coffee table. She grabbed the can and marched it outside to the back porch.

  “I didn’t hit my head on the coffee table.” Jason wiped his face and leaned back.

  “Then what happened?” asked Dana incredulously. She sat down next to him.

  “I saw a little green guy with a belly, holding a wooden mallet and he whacked me in the head.”

  She looked at him sideways, “You’re joking, right?”

  Jason held the towel gingerly to the side of his head, “I swear, a little green guy hit me in the head.”

  Dana pointed across the room to the bookshelf of action figures and collectibles next to the couch, “Are you sure you just didn’t see your Hulk action figure?”

  Jason stared at the figures on the bookshelf. He scanned each figure to see if any of them matched what he remembered. Maybe it was the Hulk figure, but it did not have a belly. He could not think of what on the shelves could have been the war hammer.

  Dana caressed Jason’s shoulder, “Hey, it’s OK. Tiffany called and told me what happened at work. She said you could use some babying.” Dana grabbed his chin and turned his attention to her. “You need some babying.” Dana nodded towards the bathroom, “Come on, I’ll clean up the side of your head.”

  Dana stood and took Jason by the hand and led him around the corner. As they walked into the bathroom, Dana offered, “I’ll cook your favorite dinner for you tonight. I’ll order an all meat extra-large pizza.”

  “Aw…You do love me.”

  “I have to. I’m your girlfriend.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  The small bedroom was filled with darkness. Faint light cut through the room from Jason’s shaded window. The room was silent. The apartment felt like it was asleep. The only sign of life was the faint sound of a television coming from the neighboring apartment.

  Dana had said goodbye and left shortly before Jason went to bed. She could not stay because of another shift at the bistro. After work she needed to put in some time on her thesis, for her Master’s degree. Dana promised Jason she would check on him tomorrow.

  For the past hour Jason laid in his bed. The throbbing in his head and shin were too distracting for him to sleep. Jason’s mind filled with images of the green creature with a wooden hammer. He told himself there were no such things as little green men. He wondered still, what did he see?

  Instinctively, Jason popped his head up. Painfully, he winced and slowly laid his head back down on the pillow. He heard something move. Jason’s mind raced. Was it a burglar? How perfect an ending that would be to his painful day. He laid still and listened. He heard it again. It was a shuffling. Something was pulling on the edge of the blankets. It started creeping slowly across the bed.

  Jason shot up and turned on the nightstand light. The light splashed across the bed. Staring back at him were two little green men. The first one was the large bellied creature that had smacked him in the head. He was still carrying the same wooden hammer. The second green creature was an inch taller than the first. It was skinny, but also had a pot belly and four fangs poking out of its mouth. The skinny one leaned against a spear. It had dirty brown hair and wore what looked like a tattered plaid doll skirt.

  The skinny creature looked at the round one, “Ya know, Garl, I never get used to how these humans jump up and look around sometimes.”

  Garl chuckled, “Yeah. Every once in a while they can get a sense of us. I like it. It’s fun to see them freak out.”

  “Yeah.” Lank said, with a chuckle, “You remember that one back around 1941 who could actually see us? Oh grief. The look of fear and how she just froze, while we beat on her.” Lank stiffened up like a board and then relaxed into a laugh.

  Jason reached out to the green creatures, “You things are real.” He poked at the round one. It jumped back and swung his hammer. Jason quickly pulled his hand back, barely escaping the hammer.

  Garl slapped the skinny one, “Hey Lank, this one can see us.”

  Garl and Lank stared at the human. Jason stared back at the two green creatures. Garl and Lank looked at each other, shrugged, and charged screaming at the human. Jason leaned forward and smacked the green creatures down with his hands. He held them in place on top of the bed. Garl and Lank tried swinging their weapons at the hands that held them, but could not reach around the fingers.

  “What are you?” Jason asked in complete shock.

  Garl and Lank stopped struggling and stared at the human. There was not much else they could do, but answer the question.

  Lank offered, “We’re Goblins.”

  “Can’t be. Goblins are huge.” As Jason spoke the words, he realized his statement was absurd. He told himself Goblins were not real, but here he was holding a creature that claimed to be one.

  “Oh, you’re thinking of our cousins.” Lank chuckled, “Yeah. One of them mated with a Pixie. Don’t get me started on how they managed that one. Blows the mind. Anyways, we little Goblins were created.”

  “Did one of you bite me?” Jason demanded.

  Garl laughed loudly, “Yeah. That was me. I love that stuff. I took a bite and you
thought it was something like a rat. By the way, you’re pretty tasty for a scrawny one.” Garl struggled and grunted trying to wriggle loose, “I wanted another bite, but you jumped up too quick.”

  “Why the hell are you doing this to me?” Jason leaned on them more.

  Lank grunted, “Don’t bother trying to hurt us, you can’t.” He replied to the added pressure on his chest.

  “What do you mean I can’t hurt you?”

  “You’re not from the magic realm. Only things from the magic realm, like our weapons, can hurt us. As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t be able to see us. But, every few decades there’s a story of some human that can see us. They usually go mad.”

  “I guess I’m one of the lucky ones.” Jason spat at them, “Why are you doing this?”

  Garl shrugged, “It’s nothing personal, kid. We just do this for fun.”

  “Fun?!”

  “Yeah. It’s one of the sports we have at our club.”

  “Club?! You hunt humans?!”

  “No, no, no. We just come out here and mess with you. Back at the club there’s a magic pool that shows the stuff we pull. We have competitions to see who can come up with the best way to screw with one of you.”

  Lank laughed, “Yeah. You remember that time Slar swung from that ceiling fan chain and sliced that guy with his sword. The guy was like a foot from the fan, but he thought he hit his head on it.”

  Garl cracked up, “That was one of the best. My favorite was when Twag pushed on that gas pedal so the girl ran over her fiancé’s foot and broke it.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Lank’s eyes brightened up at the memory, “He called off the wedding and they were getting married like two days later.”

  Jason sat back in horror, letting go of the Goblins, “You guys are sick!”

  Garl stood up and brushed off his pants. “Well, boy,” hefting his war hammer over his shoulder, “not as sick as you’re gonna be.”

  Lank and Garl charged at the human again. Jason swiped at them. Lank jumped over the swooping hand. Garl took the full brunt of the back hand and flew across the room, smacking against the dresser and flopped to the floor. Lank landed on Jason’s leg and raced up the thigh, dragging his spear behind him. A trail of ripped sweat pants and blood followed the spear.